Bouncing Buckeye Baby

Sick, part 2

2012-02-13T11:01:00.000-05:00

(I apologize in advance for the scattered nature of this post. You'll discover at the end why my brain isn't working terribly well.)

My mom came up to watch Baby Girl on Thursday so The Hubby and I could go to work. We are incredibly grateful that we have someone who can come in relatively short notice and who we know will give Baby Girl everything she needs to feel better.

When we left in the morning, the fever was still hanging around at 102. Baby Girl got plenty of snuggles and some applesauce and apple juice. She fell asleep in my mom's lap around 1:30 (naptime is typically between 12:30 and 1:00, so it's no wonder...) and slept there until just before we got home at 5:00. Wow. Lo and behold, when she woke up, the fever was gone! Thank goodness. She was still coughing and her nose was running a small amount, but the fact that the fever was gone was a huge victory.

By Wednesday of her fever (day 3), Baby Girl was acting slightly lethargic and didn't have much interest in eating. I can honestly say that this was the very first time in many sicknesses that her eating has been affected. It was scary and frustrating at the same time. By Saturday, though, her eating was already returning to normal. We found that she lost 2-4 pounds over just a few days.

Friday the sickness seemed like an average cold with an ugly cough. The snotty nose appeared after the cough, but by Sunday both were in full swing. I think the cough was slightly better yesterday, but am not sure. She's back at the sitter today. If this had been an average cold, this would probably be a day we'd keep her home, but since she'd been out for 5 days already, had been getting really bad cabin fever (she'd been in the car three times since last Sunday and only got out somewhere other than home once--at the doctor), and the sickness came from the sitter, we think she'll be fine.

Friday night, though, I noticed that The Hubby's eyes were very red. It wasn't abnormal for him--he has REALLY sensitive eyes that get really red from being tired or sick or just dry. Saturday they didn't look much better, which had me concerned. I asked about them, but he wasn't concerned, so I let it go. Sunday morning, though, when I woke up with Baby Girl at 5 a.m. (!), he told me that his eyelids were crusted over. Great. So I took Baby Girl to the recliner after failing to get her to go to sleep in her rocking chair in her room, and we both finally fell asleep at 6 a.m. and slept there until 8:30. The Hubby got out of bed around that time as well and I found out that the clinic inside our local grocery store opened at 10 on Sunday mornings and suggested that he go there.

Around 11:30, he texted me with his diagnosis: ear infection, sinus infection, and pink eye. Awesome. I'd already snapped at him that morning for touching his eye then touching something else and told him that the reason pink eye doesn't usually spread between adults is because adults have the common sense to wash their hands after touching their eyes. So it was a great morning all around already. He got three medications and came home and we ate lunch.

The day went fairly normally until 9:45. Baby Girl had been in bed for almost 2 hours and was suddenly crying. I went to her and she wouldn't tell me why she was crying, but fell asleep immediately in my arms. I had a hard time transferring her back into her bed (she was facing the wrong direction), but she didn't seem phased by turning around and laying there awake. We went to bed and she woke up at 10:30 (The Hubby went in--same sort of thing), 11 (I went in--same sort of thing), and 11:30. When she cried at 11:30, I asked The Hubby if I should just take her to the recliner and her stomped out of the room. Neither of us is at our best in the middle of the night and sick, apparently. I didn't hear from him again all night and when the alarm went off this morning and I subsequently turned it off and overslept (I don't know how to work his stupid alarm clock!), he still wasn't there. I woke them both up at 7 in the recliner.

Aaaannnddd....when I woke up I had a not-so-pleasant surprise. I now have the cold portion of the sickness. I'd been coughing some over the last 5 days, but never felt sick, but now it's definitely a head cold for me, complete with sneezing, coughing and snot, just in time to start a work week. Great.

If we can keep the pink eye contained to The Hubby, though, I consider it a victory. Keep your fingers crossed for rapid healing in our household!

Meal Plan 2/12/12 - 2/18/12

2012-02-12T10:47:00.000-05:00

This has been a really rough week for us (although we didn't go out to eat once--I'm really proud of us) and this next week will mean a lot of rest and recuperation, hopefully, as the sickness still persists (an update on all of that will come very soon--I started it on the iPad, but didn't like the interface there, so I want to use the actual laptop to type it up). You'll see that I picked some pretty easy meals--I just don't have the energy to devote to dinners, although I did get motivated and made a loaf of bread from scratch yesterday and hope to make some sugar cookie bars today (I'll share them at work--we're taking some fruit to Baby Girl's sitter for the Valentine's Day party since someone is already bringing cupcakes). :)

Sunday: Tortellini and Garden Vegetable Bake--this is the recipe this week for my cooking club I'm doing. It's a lot longer preparation than I can typically handle on a weeknight, so I'll make it tonight and then plan on reheating it for lunch Monday and then for another dinner later in the week.

Monday: Slow Cooker German-Style Pork Roast with Sauerkraut and Potatoes--I had half of a pork roast left that I wanted to use in a new way and have some potatoes hanging out with no plan, so this is the recipe I found. This is another meal that I'm hoping will work for lunch (we always plan on having leftovers for lunches) and and another dinner.

Tuesday: Assuming Baby Girl doesn't get worse or a secondary illness, we'll be going to her second week of swim lessons (we missed the real second week last week). This means we will be eating out--I hope we'll eat early enough that we don't run into a bunch of people dining out for Valentine's Day. I have a Groupon that I'd like to use.

Wednesday: Pizza--I had a leftover pizza crust from last week's BBQ Chicken Pizza and already need to buy some mushrooms, so I'd guess it'll be a mushroom pizza.

Thursday: More Tortellini and Garden Vegetable Bake

Friday: Coneys & Tater Tots--I'm lazy and just use canned coney sauce, even though I found a great Skyline copycat recipe I'd like to try someday. Someday. Maybe once Baby Boy is at least 6 months old...

Saturday: More pork roast

(We might also, if everyone is feeling fairly healthy, go out for a friend's birthday that was 2/6. If that happens, any of these meals can easily be deferred to the following week.)

28 Weeks

2012-02-09T14:09:00.000-05:00

It's been a rough week for sure (see my previous post), which sort of explains my delay in posting this update. Sort of. I'll be 29 weeks on Saturday. One of these days I'll post these in a timely fashion but for now this is what you get!

How am I feeling? Not horrible. Baby Boy is starting to crowd my lungs, which is causing some breathing discomfort. As I mentioned in my last update, I keep forgetting that I'm 28 weeks pregnant. I just got back from taking a walk (to get a bagel...don't think I'm actually going out for my health!) and had some major discomfort in the left side of my abdomen once I realized that I was walking too quickly for my body. I've also suddenly been having some sleeping trouble. I had a hard time getting comfortable last night and am still waking very regularly (at least once per night) with a body part that is numb.

Weight thoughts: Still frustrated, but trying not to think about it. I'm eating when I'm hungry and I'm trying to be smart about what I'm eating and eating lots of fruits and veggies. And a Shamrock Shake. Try not to judge.

Doctor appointments? Nothing until 2/22.

Movement? Yes! Baby Boy is VERY active, especially in the evenings. I have a feeling we're going to have a definite witching hour in the evenings with him. I had my first experience with painful movement right at 28 weeks--it felt like he was trying to bruise me from the inside. I'm pretty sure he's still transverse, based on a very emphatic flourish of movement that I got last night when I must have rolled too far toward my stomach. It was like he was letting me know that I was squishing his head--he was flailing on both sides of my stomach, waving his arms and kicking his legs.

Baby preparation? Our basement is done, which means that the nursery is the only huge project we need to tackle before his arrival. We haven't even thought about it much, though. If we're healthy this weekend, maybe we'll go shopping and see if there's anything that we really like.

The biggest news, though, is that we are about 90% sure that we have a name. We had narrowed our list down to about 3 names and had said them all to Baby Girl to make her feel involved. Now when we ask her what Boomer's (our nickname for Baby Boy) real name is going to be, she'll respond with one of the names consistently. We question her about the other two and she says, "No..." and tells us the name she likes. We could obviously convince her of a different name, but listening to her say it has convinced us that we like it, so I'm guessing it's going to be Baby Boy's name. And no, I'm not sharing with anyone. Hopefully Baby Girl doesn't either!

Sick Days

2012-02-08T18:08:00.000-05:00

I've been delaying this post until I had some sort of resolution...but we're still just not there.

Saturday morning Baby Girl coughed once or twice. We assumed a cold was coming on--no big deal, especially since we hadn't been sick since prior to Christmas. We still shipped her off to her Grandma and Papaw's for the night for Grandma's birthday (yes, a night off for us is a birthday gift for my mom). They came back Sunday night and we went out to dinner and nothing seemed off. When I took Baby Girl to bed that night, she felt a little warm. She was still acting normal and since she always feels a teeny bit warm to me, I didn't worry too much. She was coughing a bit more, but again, nothing to worry about. Something in my Mommy Gut told me to take her temperature before she fell asleep and I'm glad I did--101.1 orally (the first time she's ever had her temperature taken that way, actually--she did remarkably well). I gave her some Tylenol and she slept a normal night.

I went downstairs to talk to The Hubby. I know a fever isn't a big deal for most kids, but the only fevers we've seen have knocked Baby Girl out and were due to double ear infections. She's cut almost all of her teeth and we've never had a fever from them. She's had 6 (I think) single ear infections and no fevers from them. She's had countless colds...no fevers. So for her to have a fever of 101.1 was a fairly big deal. We decided to wait and see how she was feeling Monday morning to decide what to do, but did compare our work schedules and The Hubby concluded he could stay home all day if I could stay home on Tuesday.

Her temperature was between 101 and 102 on Monday.

And Tuesday.

And again today.

WTF?

Yesterday the cough got so bad that it woke her from her nap, which hasn't happened very many times, no matter how bad her coughs have been. She'd been sleeping for about 45 minutes when she woke up. Once I'd concluded that she wasn't going to go back to sleep on her own, I gathered her up and took her into our bedroom to snuggle. At first I didn't think she'd fall asleep, but after just a few songs, she was breathing heavily, stirring only to cough. At some point, I dozed off, too, and woke when she'd shift or cough. Around 4:00 I was done napping and turned on the TV quietly. It wasn't until 4:20 that she woke up--she slept with me for 2 hours and 20 minutes! Wow. The only bad part about it was that she kept coughing in my face...I'm sure it's inevitable that I'm going to end up with this cold. I just hope it doesn't come with the fever. But getting a snuggle with my busy 2 1/2 year old was blissful.

I called the doctor yesterday and the nurse thought that we should wait out the fever and keep treating it if it was over 101. She said we should call back today if the cough got worse or the fever didn't subside.

Today I stayed home for the morning then did the switch with The Hubby at our place of work at noon. After Baby Girl's nap, her temp was still 102, so she was given acetaminophen and The Hubby and I decided that he should call the doctor again. He took Baby Girl to see a doctor and was told that her lungs sound perfect and her ears look perfect. He said to keep treating the fever with acetaminophen and ibuprofen and to give some cough medicine at bedtime to help her sleep. If she starts getting thicker snot, we're supposed to call and have an antibiotic called in.

So I have no resolution. I'd love to be reporting that the fever has broken or that the cough has subsided, but the cough just seems to keep getting worse and the fever is still there. I'm facing The Working Mom Guilt--juggling both my responsibilities at home and at work and feeling guilty for not being able to give 100% to either one. On top of that, while we have The Best Sick Leave Policy Ever, I'm feeling stressed because I need to have 240 hours banked by the time Baby Boy arrives. I'm around 250 as of the end of January and while I will keep earning hours over the next few months, I already know I'll be burning time for my doctor appointments, staying home with Baby Girl, and then for myself if I end up with this. It will all be okay--just another thing to worry about.

27 Weeks

2012-02-02T15:18:00.000-05:00

How am I feeling? Physically, fairly good. I'm definitely feeling more and more pregnant, but still have moments of forgetting how pregnant I am. For instance, I jogged down the street with Baby Girl yesterday and when I was done was shocked at the tightness that I was feeling. I also will walk at a quicker pace, but then realize how out of breath I am and how much my ankles hurt. My reflux is mainly in check and I've been able to even enjoy some salsa and tomato-based foods. I did try to drink a Diet Coke last Sunday and had a REALLY rough evening. No more of that until after Baby Boy arrives!

Emotionally, I'm worried about bonding with Baby Boy. Now that I know his positioning and have heard his heartbeat again, I feel a bit more connected to him, but I just find myself wondering how I can possibly love him as much as his sister. I'm sure it will all be okay once he's here--just anxious about it for now.

I'm also having trouble with my weight gain, which I'll discuss below.

Weight thoughts: I've been weighing myself sporadically at home and had headed to the doctor feeling fairly optimistic and hoping for a weight gain of about 3 pounds. Unfortunately, what I got was a weight gain of 9 pounds! That means I'm up 27 pounds since my 7 week appointment--not what I was hoping for. I thought something was wrong and expressed that to my doctor and she agreed that it was unlikely that I'd gained that much. I've been a lot more careful about my portion sizes because of the reflux, so I'd assumed my weight gain would be minimal. However, when I weighed myself this morning at home, the scale reflected the same weight gain. In fact, I now weigh the same as I did when I delivered Baby Girl, which is also the same weight I was when I got married. And it's only going up from here.

I'm really upset about this. I know it's not the end of the world, but I had thought I was doing really well. I'm now going to cut out some of the peanut butter I've been eating (it's been an easy protein for me so I've been having it twice a day--once on toast in the morning and also in the afternoon with an apple) and hope to start getting out for more walks. I'm obviously not going to starve myself or obsess *too* much, but it's painful to see another large weight gain.

Doctor appointments? I just had one yesterday, which is why I waited to post (I'll technically turn 28 weeks on Saturday). My appointment was at 1:45 p.m., so I finished my glucose drink at 12:55 and told the receptionist when I arrived. At 1:55 they still hadn't called me back, so I approached the receptionist and she immediately knew why I was there. She ran and got someone to draw my blood and we did the glucose screening. My number was 103 and they wanted it at 134 or below--what a load off my mind! I went back to the waiting room to wait for awhile longer, then the nurse took us back to a room. She took my weight, urine, and blood pressure (crazy low for me--98/54, I think, because I hadn't had much food since breakfast in anticipation of my glucose screening), then left us alone again. I'm lucky The Hubby brought our iPad to the appointment because we didn't actually see the doctor until after 2:45.

Dr. S was apologetic about being late and then asked how baby's movement is. I told her about my suspicion that he might have turned to head down, but then that he might be transverse again, so she checked my stomach and confirmed that he was at an angle--his feet/bum toward my right shoulder and his head toward my left hip. She immediately found the heartbeat (154 bpm) and reassured me that he has plenty of time to turn. We talked about my candidacy for a VBAC (she thinks I'm a really good candidate) and my reflux issues. She suggested I try some Mylanta if I think I'm going to have something that might really upset my stomach on top of the Zantac that I'll continue to take twice per day.

Movement? Oh goodness, yes. As of Wednesday the 25th, I was very sure that Baby Boy was transverse. I was feeling kicks and hits on both of my sides at the same time. Then Thursday night (the 26th) I had a lot of steady pressure and for the next 4 days or so only felt fairly light movement down very low. I thought maybe he'd turned to a head-down position. Then on Tuesday the 31st I started feeling movement on both sides again. Since our doctor appointment yesterday, I've been very aware of what I'm feeling. I'm feeling LOTS of kicks under my right breast and some more rolling-type movement in the middle of my stomach (likely either a shoulder or his butt). I'm also getting some movement on my lower left side and some light movement down very low (which I would assume would be a hand).

Baby preparation? We've been working hard at getting better habits in regards to keeping our house clean (more on that very soon) and have also been organizing our basement so we can create a 2nd living room with more toy storage down there. But we haven't touched the nursery recently. We're shipping Baby Girl off to my parents' house this weekend for my mom's birthday, so maybe we'll work more in the nursery then.

Meal Plan: 1/29/2012 - 2/4/2012

2012-01-30T09:43:00.000-05:00

Sunday: Baked chicken nuggets with macaroni & cheese and frozen veggies
Monday: Veggie pesto pizza
Tuesday: Out (Baby Girl has her first swimming lessons!)
Wednesday: Slow Cooker Pulled Pork Tacos
Thursday: Smoked Sausage Pierogi Bake
Friday: Salsafied Chicken
Saturday: Either quesadillas from pork taco meat or out for a friend's birthday

Two and a half--the short version

2012-01-29T17:31:00.001-05:00

I had hoped to write a beautiful, glowing post today to honor Baby Girl turning two and a half. As of right now, though, I don't have much positive to say about anything. It has been a trying afternoon, complete with a very short nap, two pee accidents (when she's had none in weeks), a bad attitude because she's tired, refusal to let me take any pictures, and then topped off with a very, very bad reflux day for me.

I'm now laying in bed while The Hubby cooks dinner (after asking many questions...if I could stand up straight, I would just cook it myself). Hoping tomorrow is a better day for us all.

Our adventure

2012-01-24T13:22:00.000-05:00

Yesterday we picked up Baby Girl from the sitter at our normal time and began the trek home. We exited the freeway like normal, drove down one street, then turned onto another and found that the first traffic light we got to was out. This was still far enough from our house that we didn't think it would affect us. There were policemen there directing traffic, which meant we waited longer at the intersection than we otherwise would have, but also meant that people had to stop. The electric company was working in the right-hand lane just past the traffic light. We got to the next light, which was also out.* The Hubby and I began to wonder if this would affect our neighborhood. We turned into our neighborhood a bit further down the road, but looked ahead and saw the next traffic light was functioning, which made us think that things would be fine.

At this point, it was just before 5:30. It was light enough out that it was plausible that people wouldn't have lights on in their houses and the street lights wouldn't be on yet, so we didn't have much of an indication of whether our electricity was on. We still thought that the outage was far enough from our house that we'd be okay. We turned on the last street before we got to ours and saw someone parking their car in the driveway. Again, totally normal around our neighborhood, but it made The Hubby and I start to wonder if perhaps the electric garage door opener wasn't working.

We rounded the corner and pulled into our driveway. Garage door wasn't moving. Crap. The Hubby hopped out and opened the door manually so we could pull the car in. Both of us started thinking about the things we needed to do so we could function without electricity. He started pulling out candles and I started thinking about what would need to happen with dinner. We'd planned on just reheating leftovers in the microwave, but it's hard to do that without electricity. Baby Girl was running around like a crazy person and didn't understand why we were cranky. I sat her down and told her she needed to entertain herself for a minute and she agreed to go color, so I got her set up on her table with some paper and crayons.

I was able to use The Hubby's iPhone and check the electric company's website to see if they had individual outages listed since we still had no idea how long to expect the outage to last. Nope--just a count of the outages across the counties they serve. And then I thought I'd submit an outage, but that portion of the site didn't seem to be working. Thanks for the help, electric company.

So now we have to prepare as if we won't have electricity all night. We start ~~panicking~~ thinking about Baby Girl's bedtime. We consider our dinner options--go out or stay in and don't spend money (a goal we've had recently). The Hubby suggested that he could grill up some hot dogs and just have some pretzels or tortilla chips with them. I started thinking--if the grill has gas...and the grill also has a side burner that's never been used...maybe we could cook a whole meal out there. Thank goodness it was still over 40 degrees outside and not raining. I planned out what needed to be pulled from the fridge so I wouldn't let the cold air out and got out the leftover brats, the hot dogs, cheese, ketchup, milk, butter, and a few other things. We got a box of Pasta Roni and The Hubby fixed that on the side burner while he reheated the brats, cooked the dogs, and reheated the veggies we'd had with the brats on the grill.

We had our picnic in the living room on Baby Girl's art table, which I could tell she really enjoyed. As The Hubby and I were finishing up (it was about 6:30 by this time), we heard something. The furnace! Woo! Everything in our house started to function again and Baby Girl said excitedly, "now we can turn on the TV!" We told her that we weren't going to do that--we were going to spend the rest of the evening like we didn't have electricity. We read books by flashlight, colored some more, and then did bedtime mostly like normal (I wasn't going to try to put her to bed without her nightlight and wave machine if I didn't have to!).

It was really stressful trying to figure out what we were going to do if the electricity was out for an extended period, but it made me really grateful for lots of things last night: good weather, a nice grill, The Hubby and me working well together, Baby Girl's patience, The Hubby doing some cleaning in the basement so I could get to our overstock shelves, and the ability to interact without a TV on. We'd actually recently been waiting to turn the TV on until after dinner anyway, but seeing Baby Girl's reaction makes me even more conscious of wanting to spend more time with it off when she's awake. Yes, it means that The Hubby and I don't get our half hour break before her bedtime while she watches Little Einsteins to wind down, but I think that will be okay for the next few months.

*Why the hell don't people get that when the lights are out they should treat the intersection as a 4-way stop? I don't care that one street is fairly busy (speed limit is 40 mph) and the other is just entrances to a couple of subdivisions. STOP.

26 Weeks

2012-01-23T15:39:00.001-05:00

There are conflicting answers about when the 3rd trimester begins, but based on the way I'm feeling, I'm going to say I'm still solidly in the 2nd trimester. I think of the 3rd trimester as being 28 weeks, but know that mathematically that wouldn't be true if you're pregnant for 40 weeks. The real update for this week, though, is that we're just cruising along with the status quo.

I did compare my belly shot from this time to the one from last time and I think my belly at 25.5 weeks looks similar to my belly a little closer to 30 weeks last time. Of course, I started out this pregnancy about 30 pounds heavier, too, and am nearing the weight I was at when I delivered DD.

How am I feeling? Physically, I'm doing better. My acid issues have been reduced by the twice daily Zantac and avoiding acidic foods and drinks. It makes me sad not to be able to drink pop, orange juice, and not to be able to eat oranges and tomato-based foods, but if it makes me feel better, I'll do it. I did make a dish last week (and have eaten it 3 times since then in the form of leftovers) that had a tomato sauce, but had a good amount of cream cheese and sour cream in it that didn't make me feel horrible, so that was encouraging. I also need to really watch myself to make sure I don't overeat.

Weight thoughts: Because I've been more aware of my tendency to overeat, my weight leveled off some. I don't think I'll have a month with no gain like I had originally hoped, but it shouldn't be the ridiculous amount of gain that I had the last couple of months. My digestive system has...ummm...slowed down recently. I think if I were more...regular....I might be able to maintain my weight better.

Doctor appointments? Wednesday, February 1st for my glucose screening test.

Movement? This little guy is a mover. It varies between punches and kicks and rolls and turns. I still have no idea what his positioning is in there, especially since I'm getting sharp jabs on both sides of my abdomen at once. I'd guess he's transverse, but am hoping my doctor will be able to tell at our next appointment.

Baby preparation? Well, the nursery has been un-pinked and Baby Girl's clothes are all now in her room (and packed in tubs). We went through the teeny baby clothes and pulled out gender-neutral stuff. There wasn't much, honestly. Over our long weekend Baby Girl decided to make some art for the nursery, so we bought some frames and hung it up. I love it. :) A friend is going to give me some boy clothes at some point, but not sure what we will find it. I think both of her boys were August babies, so not sure what seasons we'll have in what sizes. I'm just really grateful, though!!

Here's the art that Baby Girl created for her little brother (I added this photo after Cassie's comment, so don't think she's crazy!):

Meal Plan 1/22/12 - 1/28/12

2012-01-23T10:24:00.000-05:00

We did really well with cooking most nights last week, save some Chinese on Monday night and going out with our families on Saturday and Sunday nights (which means we didn't have to pay...score!). So it may sound like we didn't do that well after all...but I blame Baby Boy for the Chinese and how were we going to pass up going out with our parents? I did end up with some chicken leftovers in the fridge, though, and will cook it up tonight so we have cooked chicken for meals this week. I also have book club on Wednesday night, so I wanted that to be something very simple.

Sunday: Out with my parents
Monday: Leftovers from last week (brats & tater tots and leftover pasta from Saturday)
Tuesday: Quesadillas
Wednesday: Pizza with a pesto sauce (chicken, mushrooms, peppers)
Thursday: Cream of potato & broccoli soup with turkey BLTs (soup recipe will be posted later)
Friday: Salsafied Chicken
Saturday: Chicken Fried Rice

Meal Plan 1/15/12 - 1/21/12

2012-01-15T09:46:00.000-05:00

I'm enjoying a nice quiet weekend at home with my two favorite people. The best part? We get a bonus day tomorrow! I've been strangely productive (a post coming on that later) and yet have felt like I've been lazy. It's been blissful. I'm going to pick up some supplies to do some baking with Baby Girl when I hit the grocery in a few minutes--we'll probably make some brownies. Yum.

Sunday: Cheesy Sausage Penne: When Cassie posted this on Facebook, I immediately thought, "Nah...I probably shouldn't try it just yet. It also looks like it'll take too long to do on a weeknight." But then when I showed it to The Hubby, he insisted we try it and reminded me that we have both Sunday and Monday to cook longer meals if we want. So we're going to go for it. Hope I don't feel horrible afterwards!

Monday: Cream Cheese, Chicken & Veggie Soup: We made this just a couple of weeks ago, but Baby Girl (and her parents...) loved it so much that I decided to make it again.

Tuesday: Salsafied Chicken with Rice: This is one of our old favorites and it'll be my first foray with salsa in about a month. I hope it goes well. The dish itself isn't that spicy, so I think it'll be okay.

Wednesday: Crock Pot Ranch Pork Chops: Another one of Cassie's creations that I'm eager to try. I hope it's as delicious as it looks. We'll be having it with mashed potatoes and some sort of frozen veggie, but I don't think I can handle the huge serving of mashed potatoes that Cassie features on her blog :) In a former life I could, but not these days (unless I want to be tasting mashed potatoes over and over again all evening).

Thursday: Brats & tater tots: I was cleaning out my coupons and found a pretty good one for Johnsonville Chicken Sausage and then happened to look at the Kroger ad and found that Johnsonville products are on sale this week. Double score! We'll likely have these made in the skillet with some peppers and onions.

Friday: Veggie quesadillas: The Hubby suggested quesadillas and when he actually requests something, I'll gladly oblige. I asked what kind of meat he wanted and he said veggie would be fine. We'll include mushrooms, peppers, and onions inside our quesadillas and serve it with some sort of rice and maybe some beans.

Saturday: We *think* we'll be going out with The Hubby's family to celebrate his mom's and both of his brothers' birthdays (1/30, 1/15, and 1/25), so we're not planning a meal. If we end up at home that night, we can fix a frozen pizza or go out to eat for the first time in 2 weeks. We'll just have to wait and see!

21-25ish Weeks

2012-01-12T16:29:00.000-05:00

I've been quiet and I'm sorry. I'm sorry to my readers, however many there may be left, but mostly I'm sorry to myself and my baby. I've always dreamed of taking selected blog entries and turning them into a book for my kids and for myself someday. I feel like I've missed out on a huge chunk of my pregnancy by not blogging about it.

I can explain why, though. You see, in my head, pregnancy should be a joyous thing. I don't remember feeling too down when pregnant with Baby Girl, except when I would look in the mirror. But things haven't been as happy this time around. I was in this funk for a few weeks that I couldn't shake, plus trying to focus on the holidays and all the joy that that brought with my two-year-old (totally serious--it was a great Christmas!). And then right after the holidays I started to feel horrible. I was achy all the time, couldn't get comfortable, and then felt like I couldn't eat or drink anything because of the massive amount of acid (and subsequent nausea) I was dealing with.

I went to my doctor appointment on January 3rd and was told I should take Zantac twice a day, which I've been doing since that day. It has helped get me to the point where I can eat and drink water again, but I'm still feeling acid-y for no apparent reason sometimes. I can deal with that, though. I'm trying very hard not to overeat and to avoid acidic foods and have done a fairly good job so far. And I am lucky that the reflux is not causing heartburn generally--it's just making me burp up everything that I eat, which is disturbing and disgusting, but not painful.

How am I feeling? Physically, I'm doing a lot better than I was (see above). I haven't had nearly as many uncomfortable days as I had been. I've been completely exhausted most days and just want to sleep my life away. A few weeks ago I noticed that I had stopped losing my hair and my nip.ples had gotten a lot larger. I think my bo.obs have grown some, but it may just be the natural growth from the weight gain. I'm still sleeping well (knock on wood), even without a pregnancy pillow, and have only had to wake up a few nights to pee.

Mentally, I'm still feeling yuck about the way I look. My organs have pushed my fat up and out above my pregnant belly, so my upper belly is still bigger than my lower. I can typically wear things to round it out, but some days I don't and feel really self-conscious all day. I still have many people saying they had no idea I was expecting, which makes me feel like they were used to me being fat.

Weight thoughts: I have packed on the pounds over the last two months. Between my early November appointment and my early January appointment, I think I gained close to 15 pounds. I gained 6 or 8 between December and January and all of that was BEFORE the holidays. How crazy. With my new-found reflux, though, I'm eating a lot smaller portions and therefore am being more conscious of what I eat. If I want an apple and some junk food, I've generally chosen the apple with some peanut butter.

I'm currently getting close to the weight I was when I delivered Baby Girl (which, subsequently, was also the same weight I was when I got married...and then lost another 50 pounds...)

Doctor appointments? My next appointment will be February 1st and it will be my glucose screening. I'll be 27 1/2 weeks at that point. I'm actually sort of nervous about the glucose screening and hope that I don't fail. I didn't have a problem last time, but I was also a lot smaller last time.

Movement? I'm feeling lots of definite movement. Over the holidays (I believe it was the day or two after Christmas), Baby Girl got to feel her baby brother kick her. The Hubby has felt it a few times, but generally loses patience after awhile. I do think that Baby Girl was more active than her brother has been. I don't worry about him, but I just don't think he's moving quite as much as she was. He's definitely getting around, though. One hour he'll be way over at the side and the next he'll be down low. His favorite place to hang out is down very low and his favorite punching bag seems to be my urethra or my bladder. It's not a comfortable thing at all, especially when I'm in the car getting kicked in the back by my lovely daughter!

Baby preparation? Besides trying to choose a name (which we still haven't been able to do), we have done a whole lot of nothing. I've looked very casually at bedding online, but I'm just not feeling crazy about any of it yet. I'm sure I'll get there soon enough. We've decided that all we need to buy is a double stroller and some sort of carrier. I don't plan on getting a carrier until baby is here so I have a better feel for the way it will fit with baby and with my body post-baby. We think we'll get a Sit and Stand stroller and still use the single for awhile with Baby Boy in a carrier, at least until Baby Girl is 3 or so. She still rides will in a stroller, so I hate to mess with that!

Meal Plan 1/8/12-1/14/12

2012-01-08T15:15:00.000-05:00

I'm still struggling to remember what foods we can eat that don't have tomatoes in them. In addition to the acid flare-ups (which have gotten better thanks to some medication), my rosacea has been really ugly the morning after we have tomatoes for dinner. I never realized how much tomato we eat until I've tried cutting it out. We just love Mexican and Italian flavors.

I'm just taking guesses at what nights we'll have each meal--it might get switched around based on my pregnant tummy. It's also likely one will be carried over to next week or through the long weekend--I can't imagine we'll actually cook every single night this week. I hope we will, but just don't have faith in us :)

Sunday: out
Monday: Smoked Sausage, Cabbage, & Potatoes (left from last week)
Tuesday: Roasted whole chicken with mashed potatoes
Wednesday: Cube steak w/~~gravy~~ cream of mushroom soup over rice (a childhood favorite of mine)
Thursday: Roasted garlic & potato soup
Friday: Pancakes, turkey bacon, and fruit
Saturday: Chicken pot pie

2012

2012-01-04T10:47:00.000-05:00

I don't know that I can call these resolutions, but I've been trying to consider some goals for 2012--some things I'd like to work on. It's going to be a year of flux for us, so I don't know how much I can realistically take on, but there are parts of my life I can try to improve either way. I know you've probably read many, many blog posts about people's resolutions...so just add this one to the list.

1) Be more appreciative. I want to start showing people how much I appreciate them. I think we are too quick to take things that people do for granted without telling them that it's been noticed and I want to try to change that, at least from my point of view. I also challenge YOU to tell people around you how much you appreciate them. It doesn't have to be a three paragraph essay--just a sentence or two to let someone know that their efforts are noticed and appreciated.

2) Get a firm budget (for the next 6 months). Things will be changing in July (approximately) when we have to start paying for two in daycare (eek!), but I'd like to get a really firm budget in the meantime. I feel like we actually do a great job of balancing saving with living comfortably. We splurge on cable and eating out (and by splurge, I mean we will have Tim Horton's for breakfast once a weekend and eat out for dinner once or twice a week, not usually costing more than $20/meal for all three of us....), but balance that with shopping for deals, grocery savings, and generally watching what we're spending. I do, however, fear that there is some money falling through the cracks, being spent on "Miscellaneous". Those trips to Walmart/Meijer/Target, a quick stop in a grocery store that costs $20 because I bought a couple of boxes of Hostess snack cakes (they were BOGO!)... I don't feel the need to really limit what we're spending, but just be more aware of it and, possibly more importantly, make The Hubby more aware of it, even though (and because) I'm the one who typically spends it.

3) Send birthday cards. My mom's family really makes a point of sending cards for occasions and my mom would love me to be the same way. I'm, unfortunately, not. I don't think of it early enough and then feel like a jerk for sending it too late. So I'm going to pare down the list that my mom has given me (multiple times....) and determine whose birthdays are important to me to recognize (especially if we won't see them) and create a plan for making sure the cards are actually sent. For instance, I realized ~~during a meeting~~ about an hour ago that my best friend in college's birthday is at the end of the month. I want to make sure to send her a paper card for it.

4) Enjoy Baby Boy's infanthood more than I enjoyed Baby Girl's. I don't look back at Baby Girl's early days fondly. I put a lot of stress upon myself throughout that time (and still do...) and didn't really enjoy the stages she went through at the beginning. I'm not a person who loves the infant stage anyway (and I am so happy I can admit that now!), but I want to try to relax a bit more with Baby Boy. I want nursing to be something to enjoy, even at the beginning. I found that I enjoyed it with Baby Girl once there was less pressure, once I'd made my one-year goal. I want to allow myself to pump and let others feed Baby Boy and just not stress about the whole experience as much.

I have other goals related to both of my children, but don't really consider them goals for 2012.

I think these are doable. I really would like to get others to join me in showing appreciation to others! I think it could go a long way!

Meal Plan 1/1/12-1/7/12

2012-01-01T09:55:00.000-05:00

I've been a slacker blogger over the last few weeks. Besides the craziness of the holidays, I've been feeling pretty out of sorts with this pregnancy. Don't worry, I'll post an update on that in the next day or so, but the thing to note in the context of our meal plan is that I'm trying to cut out as much acidic food as possible. Since our dinners in the past consisted a lot of either Mexican or Italian (ie. tomato-based foods), I'm going to be trying some new recipes. Any recommendations would be very welcome!

Sunday: Sausage, sauerkraut, and mashed potatoes--I've never worried much about following the tradition of eating pork and sauerkraut on New Year's Day, but it just sounded good to me.
Monday: Honey Lime Enchiladas--this will be my foray into trying to do some Mexican without a red sauce. We'll see how my body likes it.
Tuesday: Cream Cheese Chicken and Veggie Soup
Wednesday: Creamy Stovetop Mac & Cheese
Thursday: Smoked sausage, cabbage, and potatoes--a comfort meal that reminds me of growing up. We had this just a few days ago as my first try at a non-acidic meal because I saw cabbage on sale. It's a great, cheap meal (about $5 for the entire meal and it made about 7 or 8 servings) and, best of all, my body liked it.

The rest of the week will be up in the air. I'm sure one of those days I'm not going to feel like cooking, so we'll end up eating out, pushing a meal later in the week.

Happy New Year

2011-12-31T22:23:00.001-05:00

It is 10:15 pm. I'm sitting here, watching football, listening to The Hubby snore on the couch. It has been a good night. We had friends over, celebrated the new year at 7:00 with the kids, then put my little lady to bed a little late. I got a fight, with wasn't fun, but it is all fairly quiet now. Just me, my kicking baby, and my snoring husband.

Not only does this night mark the end of 2011 and the beginning of 2012; this is also what The Hubby and I consider our 10 year anniversary. It's a long complicated story, but we went from friends to more 10 years ago tonight and have been inseparable ever since. We didn't celebrate our 5 years of marriage this past summer, so why would tonight be different? We're low key type of people, so this is okay with me for tonight.

My wish for all of you is happiness as we enter the new year, whatever that means for you in your life. I can't wait to see what excitement 2012 brings--meeting our little boy and who knows what else!

And now it's time to prod The Hubby off the couch and ring in 2012 in an acceptable way for this pregnant lady--going to sleep.

Sometimes you just need to take a break

2011-12-15T16:31:00.000-05:00

This morning I was lying in bed, ~~dead to the world~~ snoozing a bit longer as The Hubby took his shower, when I awoke to the sound of "Mommmmy....Mommmmyyyy...." I opened my eyes and looked at the clock. It was a little early for her to get up, but because she typically just cries as she awakens, I rolled out of bed, and went into her room. I scooped up my girl, her head laid on my shoulder, and we went downstairs. We sat in the same rocker/recliner that I'd nursed her in for 21 months, the same place I used to rock her to sleep every night, and just rocked and snuggled.

Eventually, she slid down so her head was in the crook of my arm--the same position (minus the swaddle) that we'd sat in for months at bedtime. She looked up at me with her sweet brown eyes and said, "I want to sing, Mommy". So we did. We sang "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star", the ABCs, and then she asked me to sing "The Rainbow Song". I'd been singing "Rainbow Connection" to her at bedtime for the last few weeks, so I started and was surprised when she started to sing with me. We snuggled in the dark living room, singing, rocking, for a few minutes.

She started to wake up more and asked to see "The Farmer Song...with the Animals", so we sang "Old MacDonald" and we were singing it when The Hubby came downstairs to see what we were doing.

What a great start to the morning--I wish I could start every day like that!

20 Weeks--Halfway there (technically)!

2011-12-12T11:41:00.000-05:00

First of all, I owe you all a real blog--a good blog. I have a lot swimming around in my head. But for now you get my weekly update, two days late, as usual. And you'll get my meal plan tonight.

How am I feeling? Generally, pretty good. I've got another cold or a continuation of The Cold That Wouldn't Die. Either way, I was feeling pretty run down on Sunday, especially after staying out late on Saturday night. I'm doing a lot better with that today, though, and am at work, plugging along.

Mentally, still struggling with my flabby belly. But otherwise, doing well there, too.

Weight thoughts: I don't really have any at this point! I've been avoiding the scale and just eating when I feel like eating. I haven't gone hog-wild, but I haven't really limited myself, either.

Doctor appointments? None until 2012!

Maternity clothes? 24/7 at this point. I love the shirts because they make me look more pregnant and the pants are just comfy. I got a pair of jeans from a friend this weekend. They actually fell down while I was walking down the stairs yesterday, so they may need to wait or be worn with a belly band. I also got a pair of black dress pants at JCPenney on Saturday. I don't love them (they're tight on my thighs) but I don't hate them. I'm wearing them again today.

Movement? I'm definitely feeling more definite movement, but not consistently still. I've gotten a couple of good kicks, though, which make me feel a bit better.

Baby preparation? We painted Baby Girl's big girl room yesterday and will be working on it sporadically. We're hoping to keep the doors closed so she can get a big surprise from Santa, but we'll see.

Last Wednesday, The Hubby and I had a date at the dentist. We were done early, so we went out for ice cream and to discuss boy names before picking up Baby Girl from the sitter. We have about 40 on our list of "I don't hate it" names. How's that for progress? We're just incredibly far apart on naming styles for boys at this point. But with time, we'll come up with something that we both love.

We still haven't made any baby boy purchases. I want to talk to The Hubby about this and what we're doing in the nursery and maybe about buying some clothes. We also need to go through the tubs of clothes from Baby Girl and sort out what can be used for Baby Boy.

19 Weeks

2011-12-05T14:06:00.000-05:00

How am I feeling? Pretty good! Still battling a bit of nausea when I don't eat the way my body wants me to. I've still got a bit of a sore throat and cough at least once a day (for the past FIVE WEEKS). My hair is still falling out as much as it was pre-pregnancy.

Emotionally, I'm still struggling with the way my pregnant body looks. I work hard every day to wear something that doesn't make my double belly obvious, but it stresses me out.

Weight thoughts: I gained 6 pounds in under 4 weeks between my two doctor appointments, which was frustrating, but not totally surprising. I've been hungry, not really worrying about what I'm eating, and eating to quell nausea. I've been trying to do better, but whenever I eat anything healthier (ie. with FIBER), I get extremely gassy and that gas really hurts. I was (and still am) craving salads, but end up paying for them later in the day most of the time.

Doctor appointments? We had our BIG u/s last Friday. I was feeling anxious about the appointment, afraid something was wrong with the baby. I knew I shouldn't be feeling as much movement as I did with Baby Girl because of my anterior placenta, but I still thought I should be feeling more than I was.

Before the doctor came in, The Hubby and I started discussing names. He got (pretend) angry, telling me that we need to wait to narrow down the name pool by about half. So then I told him I wanted to bet on the gender, since he was so convinced baby was a girl and I was so convinced baby was a boy. He said, "I don't like to bet because I don't like to lose" and I pointed out that if he loses the bet, he wins b/c he's getting a boy. He was okay at that point. I named the terms--person who won the bet gets to sleep in on Saturday morning. He named the time--8:45 a.m. I agreed that the loser even had to sleep with the baby monitor on their side of the bed.

Dr. S came in and we chatted for a few minutes. I told her I was anxious and just wanted to see that little heart beating, so she started there--she located the heart right away. It was, as always, a beautiful sound. The heartbeat was 152. I then told her we had a bet about the sex of the baby. She found "the goods" and turned the monitor to me and said, "Who was right?" I immediately confirmed that I was right. It was obvious to me that there was definitely a penis in there. The ultrasound wand shifted slightly and I wasn't quite as sure that I was right, but she confirmed--"Yep! A boy!" I asked if she would grant us the guarantee that a different OB/GYN did when she did our anatomy scan for Baby Girl--a wardrobe of the opposite sex if their determination is wrong. She said she doesn't make guarantees like that :)

I looked at The Hubby. He still looked confused, but I honestly think he was in shock. And I smiled. I grinned. I kept smiling while we looked at the parts of the brain, the four chambers of the heart, the humongous noggin (measuring at 20 weeks even though I was only 18w6d), the fingers, the toes, and everything in between. Baby had one hand up to his face and the other hand was touching his feet for most of the ultrasound. He was squiggling all over the place! Dr. S had some problems getting a good picture of the spine because Baby Boy was laying on his back at the very bottom of my uterus, facing up. Eventually, though, she could see and everything looked great there, too.

Before I knew it, the ultrasound was sadly over and The Hubby had hardly said anything the entire time. I asked Dr. S about my bloodwork results and all of them were good--all decreased odds for Downs, Tris.omy 18, and all the other things the quad screen checked for.

What a great appointment. The realism of having a boy sunk in a bit later that day and I wasn't *as* excited, but I'm still happy. I'm happy that Baby Boy is growing properly, healthy, and will be loved by SO many people (as many people as if he were a girl--I'm not saying it's just because he's a boy). And the fact that he's a boy could be fun, too :)

Maternity clothes? All day every day. I just went through my closet yesterday and moved all my "not going to wear until this baby is out of me" clothes to the back and made room for hanging up my maternity clothes. I am going to make a trip to JCPenney and maybe Destination Maternity soon to look for some maternity jeans and black dress pants. My jeans from last time just weren't comfortable and with some extra weight REALLY aren't going to work. My black dress pants were a little snug on the thigh. I found one other pair that I'm wearing today, but I don't love them, either.

Movement? I'm fairly confident that I'm feeling movement, but it's nothing like I remember with Baby Girl. Just before I began this post, though, I felt my strongest movements yet, so I'm hopeful that they'll really start increasing from here. I'm anxious to be feeling this baby more and more!

Baby preparation? Now that we know the gender, the first thing we're working on is a name! We don't have a boy's name that we love. We also need to discuss what we want to do in the nursery since the pink and brown decor won't really work so well. Yes, I *could* keep it, but want to do something a bit more neutral or boyish. I'm leaning toward animals--I saw an adorable duvet at Ikea that had a circus theme that could be cute. We'll see!

Meal Plan 12/4-12/10

2011-12-04T16:50:00.000-05:00

We had a big holiday party with our friends on Saturday night and have a lot of leftover turkey that we'll be using in recipes throughout the week, which means we'll be trying some new recipes. If these are as good as I'm anticipating, maybe I'll roast a turkey more often!

I'm not going to commit to having any recipe any specific night because who knows what I'll be in the mood for at any given time! We don't have any dinner plans this week, but I know there will be at least one night that I don't feel like cooking. I've learned recently not to even bother planning for more than five meals in a week.

Turkey Tetrazzini
Creamed Turkey (will likely serve with leftover mashed potatoes and maybe some dressing)
Turkey Noodle Soup
Spinach & Chicken Tortilla Bake - When I saw this on my Google Reader, I knew I wanted to try it. The ingredients were a bit more expensive than I'd like, but it should be good :)
Fajitas - To use up the remaining tortillas

Two Year Molars and other stuff

2011-12-02T14:14:00.000-05:00

Because I'm sort of sucking at this blogging thing these days, I wanted to post a quick update. I'm fairly confident that Baby Girl's first two year molar has broken through the gums on the lower right side. I've seen it below the gum for a few weeks and then felt it today. Hopefully the others come through fairly smoothly.

We had our anatomy scan this morning for #2. I will reveal the sex later to save some surprise for some IRL friends :)

I've lost all motivation to cook. I cook when I have to, but I just never feel like it and would rather eat out. Might explain a 6 pound weight gain over the last 4 weeks. Whoops.

18 Weeks

2011-11-28T11:36:00.000-05:00

How am I feeling? Generally, just fine. I probably would have said on Saturday that the cold was gone...and then I started coughing more on Sunday. Of course. So who knows where that's going. But pregnancy-related, I'm doing pretty good. My hair is STILL falling out as much as pre-pregnancy and I'm still exhausted. I'm experiencing a lot of acid reflux, but no heartburn for now, thank goodness.

Emotionally, I'm still looking at my belly and seeing fat. I'm showing more than most because of my upper belly, which is still bigger than my lower belly. You'd think just the lower belly would grow with baby, but it's not true at all and that's making me anxious. Also on the emotional side, I've totally come to terms with the thought of having a boy, so I think I'll be able to be happy no matter what we find out on Friday in that regard.

Weight thoughts: Haven't weighed myself recently, but I have a feeling it isn't going to be good when I do. I just haven't been watching what I eat much and have been eating out far too much. I'm hoping that that will decrease for the next few weeks until we get into Christmas, but I'm not confident. I'm just too tired to cook most of the time and The Hubby isn't ever going to say no to ordering out, even though we both know it's the responsible thing to do.

Doctor appointments? Just the one this coming Friday for our anatomy scan. Praying that baby is healthy and willing to show us the goods :)

Maternity clothes? I'm pretty much always wearing them at this point. I can still wear a number of my non-maternity pants because they were always big in the waist and come up over both of my bellies. I had forgotten about my sister-in-law's maternity shirts that were in a box in the garage that I pulled out before we left for the long weekend. A lot of them fit really well, so I'm excited about that. I'm actually wearing one of them right now :) Maternity shirts just help me feel better about being pregnant and not just fat.

Movement? Maybe? It's still SO faint. I'll feel little bumps that I figure are the baby, but it could just as easily be gas. I'm crossing my fingers that it picks up soon, but am not confident that it will, sadly.

Baby preparation? We're heading down to IKEA on Thursday to hopefully get some things to finish up Baby Girl's room. Like last time, I'm anticipating a bit more preparation once we know the gender.

Shutterfly Giveaway Winners

2011-11-23T14:44:00.000-05:00

It's your lucky day! Because there were only 7 entries to my giveaway AND I discovered that I actually had THREE codes to give out, almost half of you were able to win! I used the random number generator on Random.org and these are what it gave me:

#3 corresponds with Samantha, who also asked how I got involved in this. I found a link on another blog site to apply to get free cards for other occasions and then they contacted me for this holiday season. Very exciting for me!

#1 of the remaining 6 corresponds with Cassie

#3 of the remaining 5 corresponds with Sarah

I've contacted all of the winners and will be getting the codes out ASAP so you can get your holiday cards created, mailed to yourself, and then sent. Congratulations to all the winners!

To those of you who didn't win, I hope you'll still stick around and keep reading. You never know when I'll say something interesting or have another giveaway!

Collecting Stars

2011-11-23T12:05:00.000-05:00

It seems like every day Baby Girl is making up some new pretend thing to play. Her favorite thing recently has been to collect the stars in the car. She'll reach up into the air and gather as many stars as she can. And then she'll share with The Hubby and me. We have to protect our stars and not let them fly away. But sometimes if they do fly away, she'll catch them for us and give them back. And then sometimes she wants to collect ALL of the stars and then will let them free (only to be snagged again).

I feel like there's some sort of metaphor there. I'm just not sure what it is. But it's a beautiful thing. I love her imagination.

If I could collect all the stars and give them to her, I would. And if she let them go, I'd gather them again.

17 Weeks

2011-11-21T09:18:00.000-05:00

How am I feeling? I'm doing fairly well. I am still having very slight bouts of nausea, but they're manageable. I've been feeling stiff and really need to start doing some yoga or at least some regular stretching. The Cold is still lingering a bit in the form of some snot and coughing in the mornings and evenings. I'm still exhausted--I fell asleep at 7:30 on Friday night, woke up long enough to move upstairs, and slept until Baby Girl woke at 6:30. And I was still tired.

Weight thoughts: I weighed myself the other morning and found I'd gained about 4 pounds in 2 weeks--up a total of 12 pounds. I'm not happy, but it's not a huge deal and not hugely unsurprised. Most healthy foods give me insane gas (which leads to major gas pains when you can't regularly release the gas....), so I've been avoiding them generally. That leave me a lot of junk and junk doesn't tend to keep a person full for long, so I eat even more.

Doctor appointments? Anxiously anticipating our big ultrasound in less than 2 weeks on Friday, December 2nd!

Maternity clothes? Oh hell yes. I have been wearing maternity pants full time for the last few days. I just love the comfort of them and am happy to discover that my pants from last time still fit fairly well. I still don't *need* them, but I'm wearing them. Now I just need to get some more long-sleeved shirts.

Movement? I think so. It's really faint, but I think I'm feeling some bumps and bubbles in there. It's comforting, but I don't feel it consistently enough to freak when I don't feel it. Hoping to feel more soon, of course, but not holding my breath because of the anterior placenta.

Baby preparation? Nothing major recently. We got the bedding and a couple of accessories for Baby Girl's big girl room this weekend. We'll kick into high gear once we know this baby's gender, I think.

Meal Plan 11/20-11/26

2011-11-20T08:09:00.000-05:00

It's a light week for cooking. I was up early enough this morning, though, that I had time to gather coupons for the grocery, so it might not be as cheap of a grocery trip as I'd like to think.

Sunday: Going to my parents' house, so my mom will likely cook chicken and noodles
Monday: Bow Ties with Spicy Sausage in Tomato Cream Sauce
Tuesday: Chicken Pot Pie (will cook chicken while making Monday's meal)
Wednesday: Easy Skillet Pork Chops
Thurday-Saturday: Letting other people cook for us :)

Conversations my husband and I have when the kid isn't around

2011-11-18T13:42:00.000-05:00

Once you've been together for ten years and have a kid, when you aren't around the kid, you sort of run out of meaningful things to talk about. Sure, we talk about our day, but when that topic is exhausted, what do you talk about?

Apparently, we talk about underwear. Not just any underwear, but underwear that have some sort of a scent to them so that when you fart, you release a pleasant smell. I had a few arguments about this: 1) at some point, even the pleasant scent will become related to the not-so-pleasant scent it's attempting to cover and 2) the underwear would need to be chemically designed to work WITH the foul odor to interact and create a new, pleasant scent. And because everyone's...errrr...scent...is different, you would have to have personalized undies.

And then we discussed what pleasant scents we would like to create. My choices revolved around light, airy scents--baby powder, roses, and the like. The Hubby, however, decided that he wanted his to smell like a turkey. Or a pumpkin pie. And then he decided that we'd have to design different undies for different holidays, both in patterns and for scents. You could have one that smells like pine trees! Or chocolate!

And that, my friends, is what happens when my husband and I are in the car together after a long day of work, without a toddler asking us questions like "what's that?" and "why?" and "what's that do?".

Shutterfly Holiday Cards...and a Giveaway!!!

2011-11-17T11:35:00.000-05:00

It's time to start thinking about holiday cards. Ever since Baby Girl was born, we started sending out photo cards (and giving photo books as gifts as well) because I know people love to see her beautiful face. Many times it's the only contact we make with people throughout the entire year, so they can see how quickly she's growing, too.

I think I've posted before about how much I love Shutterfly, but I wanted to make sure you really know it this year :) I've tried other websites, but love the quality of Shutterfly. I typically order holiday cards (and sometimes other cards throughout the rest of the year) through Shutterfly and I wanted to show you some of my favorite designs this year. I won't tell you which ones I'll use, just in case you're on my Christmas card list!

I actually received a couple like this last year and I love it! I love that you can include multiple photos as well as the classy, classic design

Of course, this year we just have one kid, so we'll likely just include one picture. I like this and obviously am leaning toward the monogram designs!

This one is a little different and I love the way it looks with a black and white photo.

I haven't taken our Christmas card photo yet, but I'm sure it will include a lot of joy. I can't get Baby Girl to stop smiling most of the time. This one is really fitting for our family--we laugh all the time together!

Don't you love these designs? Go check out all of Shutterfly's awesome Christmas card designs!

And here are the details for the giveaway:

I have three codes for 25 free cards for my readers that Shutterfly provided me! That means THREE of my readers can win codes for 25 free cards (codes expire 12/31/11). Wow!

I'm going to make entering easy--just go to Shutterfly and come back and tell me which design is your favorite. You can tell me why, too, but it's not required :) Make sure I have a way to get into contact with you in case you win.

The giveaway entries will be cut off at 11:59 p.m. Tuesday, November 22nd. On Wednesday, November 23rd, I will announce the three winners both by emailing them individually and on the blog.

Baby's Gender

2011-11-16T12:45:00.000-05:00

I was just coming to post that I have this gut feeling that this baby is a boy and the fact that the heartbeat (this past visit the h/b was in the 140s or 150s--I forget) and cravings (savory instead of sweet, even though I remember craving savory with Baby Girl sometimes, too) all suggest it just make me even more sure.

And then I was going back through old blog posts and found this. Same doctor appointment around 16 weeks, same lower heartbeat, just like last time. I suppose it is possible this could be a girl. Only time will tell--just over 2 weeks until we find out (hopefully)!

I think I mentioned before that I wasn't enjoying the thought of having a boy. Heck, saying I wasn't enjoying the thought is a gross understatement--I was scared and pissed and anxious about the idea of having a boy. But I've actually started calling this baby a "he" and it really is growing on me. Will I be sad not to use Baby Girl's clothes again? Of course. But whatever God's plan is for this child, it will join our family and it will be what is meant to be and I will embrace it. I think I've convinced myself enough that it's a boy that I won't even cry if the doctor tells us it's a boy. I even have moments where I *want* it to be a boy so The Hubby and his family will be extra happy.

But now it's just a waiting game. We shall see!

Sickness, and the meltdown it caused

2011-11-14T10:48:00.000-05:00

On Sunday, October 30th, I got a really sore throat on the right side, like I had some major drainage coming from my ears and down my throat. Ouch. When I got up the next morning, it had migrated to the left side of my throat. Throughout the remainder of the week, I felt worse and worse. The worst of it (for both Baby Girl and me) was Saturday and Sunday, November 5th and 6th. I had a really runny nose, a cough, and was just plain exhausted.

I felt quite a bit better by Monday and went to work. I felt like I was generally getting better throughout the week. I was coughing less, my nose was drying up, and I'd assumed, while I'd been feeling rough for awhile, that I'd at least feel normal by this past weekend, two weeks after it all started.

That doesn't seem to be the case. I don't know if I actually feel worse, but I sure don't feel better. I think my nose is running more. Both Baby Girl and I are still coughing, especially in the morning. I would probably be worried about her or myself if we weren't both feeling the same way.

To make matters worse, on Saturday afternoon, I started feeling nauseous. I couldn't decide if I should eat or not and am glad now that I ate dinner because it at least made me feel better at the time. I was afflicted with the nausea all day on Sunday as well and only felt better when I was actually eating. I've tried all my normal fixes--drinking more water, eating smaller meals with more protein--nothing is working. Ugh. I don't know if it's pregnancy nausea or related to being sick. I even fell asleep very early in the recliner and took a nap on Sunday. All I know is that I'm tired of being sick. I'm tired not feeling good. I'm tired of being tired.

It all came to a head yesterday. I walked up the stairs to my bedroom, laid down on my bed, and just cried. I didn't want Baby Girl to see me so upset. I sobbed. At some point, Baby Girl and The Hubby came upstairs and we all hung out in our bed for about 45 minutes, playing in the "tunnel" (under the sheets). It was fun. Soon they left, though, and I fell asleep. I hadn't intended to, but when I woke up, I was in a bit better spirits.

I wish I could say I feel better today, but I just don't. My nose feels stuffy, my head is cloudy, I can't regulate my temperature (a typical pregnancy symptom for me), I'm still coughing some, and I'm exhausted. I just want to feel more normal, even if it's a pregnant normal.

/whine

Meal Plan 11/13-11/19

2011-11-13T18:51:00.000-05:00

We've failed miserably at cooking as much as planned each week, so this week we're only planning for 5 meals and one of those is using leftovers from another meal. I've also had a resurgence of nausea and exhaustion, as well as STILL fighting the same cold that I've had for two solid weeks now, so I'm anticipating a lack of energy to cook, too. Look for a blog post entirely devoted to whining about this very soon.

Sunday: Mexican Chicken and Rice--I think I found this on Pinterest and it was great. It was a lot like a family favorite, Salsafied Chicken and Rice, but with a bit more veggies. Baby Girl ate her entire plateful, eagerly, and The Hubby and I agreed that we need to have it on a regular basis.

Monday: Swiss Casserole Chicken--If you look back at my last few weeks of meal plans, this has been on it. For some reason, we really fail at crockpot meals some weeks. I'm going to try really hard to get this made this week, especially since the cheese is already sliced (I was getting ready to make it one morning when I discovered my chicken had gone bad, even though it was the day of the Sell By date).

Tuesday: Sweet Pork Tacos with Cilantro Ranch Dressing--As soon as this came up on my Google Reader on Cassie's blog, I knew I had to make it. I'm hoping it'll turn out okay with Caffeine Free Diet Coke. I could go buy a 2L of Caffeine Free regular Coke...hmmm... Either way, I'm really excited to try this. I also hope that we can ration the meat--the pork loin we had in the freezer was a little smaller than the recipe calls for and I'm hoping to use it for quesadillas later in the week.

Wednesday: Chicken nuggets and tater tots. I saw this (sort of) on Cassie's blog when I read her meal plan for this week. I bought some pretzels and might try crusting the chicken in it. We'll see :)

Thursday: Quesadillas with the leftover pork

Friday: No plans, but we'll likely eat out at least once during the week, so we can cook a leftover meal this night.

Saturday: We have a tradition of having Chipotle on Football Saturdays. I'd thought it wouldn't happen every week again this year, but since I got pregnant at the beginning of football season, I figured, why not? Maybe this kid will come out loving Mexican (authentic, Americanized--we don't discriminate) as much as its big sister does!

14 and 15....and might as well do 16 weeks

2011-11-10T13:00:00.000-05:00

In all the excitement of making our official announcement, I stopped writing updated blog posts about my pregnancy, so I've missed the last few weeks. I think it's okay, though, as nothing particularly exciting has happened.

How am I feeling?  Just fine, except for this cold. I started getting a sore throat (not just scratchy) October 30th and am still blowing my nose and coughing some. Baby Girl has it, too, and is still doing the same. I think we both generally feel okay and are sleeping fine, but the cough is hanging on for a long time. But as far as pregnancy goes, I'm doing good. No more nausea! I'm still exhausted every day, but I don't really remember that letting up much last time, either. I have crazy dreams at least every other night when I typically dream only once or twice a month. I'm also still having shortness of breath unrelated to the sickness. All typical pregnancy stuff that doesn't bother me too much. I still don't have to pee any more than I did pre-pregnancy. I hope I'm blessed to escape that symptom again this pregnancy.

Weight thoughts: Up about 8 pounds. Not horrible, but not great. I know it will only go up from here, but I'm hoping to curb it a bit. Some veggies, especially peas, don't sound great to me, so I've been eating less veggies than I normally do with dinner. But I have found that I love a raw bell pepper and/or a salad, so I've been trying to have those on a regular basis.

Doctor appointments?  Just had one on Monday, November 7th. We were scheduled to see a different doctor since my regular OB was on GYN rotation in the hospital, but were pleasantly surprised when my regular OB popped in and did my appointment! The nurse had had me disrobe from the waist down and that confused and concerned the OB. She immediately asked, "Are you doing okay? Any bleeding?" I told her I was fine...just following orders. She laughed. :)

She found baby's heartbeat--147 bpm. I'm leaning toward boy, but of course we'll see. She asked if we'll want to find out the sex of the baby and we told her yes. She said, "Let's see if we can find out today..." and started moving around the ultrasound wand. She said everything was a little small so she couldn't tell anything, but she did print out a picture of our little one for us to take home. Love her. She sent us down for the bloodwork for our quad screen and told us she'd see us on December 2nd--for our anatomy scan and (hopefully) gender determination!

Maternity clothes? I've worn maternity pants twice in the last couple of weeks, but mostly because I didn't feel like wearing regular pants or didn't have anything clean. I'm still wearing all of my normal clothes if I want.

Movement? I've wondered if I've been feeling movement some in the last few days, but have told myself that I'm probably not since my doctor told me I have an anterior placenta. From my understanding, that's the only problem with the anterior placenta--muffled or no feeling of movement. Plus whenever I'm pregnant, I have an awful amount of gas, so I'm sure that's what I'm feeling. I'm still holding out hope that I'll feel my baby move soon, though!

Baby preparation?  The Hubby continues to clear out Baby Girl's room and she continues to anticipate her big move there. I'm anxiously awaiting the gender determination so I can start planning the nursery and determine if we'll need new clothes and other items. I've also been loosely shopping for a double stroller and trying to decide what kind to get, especially since Baby Girl is older and more independent, but much better behaved when she's strapped into a stroller.

Meltdown

2011-11-10T08:00:00.000-05:00

Written 10/27/2011

I just walked to a different floor in my office, sat down on the toilet in the last stall, and cried like a little baby.

I am so exhausted.

I went out last night. No, not to a club or a bar--to book club. There were four of us there and I really enjoyed myself and the company. I got home, however, around 11:30 and was asleep around midnight.

Then, this morning, Baby Girl decided to wake up early. She started moaning (her normal "I'm awake" noises) around 5:30, which is over an hour prior to the time The Hubby typically has to wake her up. I went in and got her around 6:10, which was twenty precious minutes prior to the time The Hubby typically wakes me up.

Add on top of that the fact that I'm 13 1/2 weeks pregnant, stressed about work stuff and my inability to concentrate, stressed about the state of my house, stressed about getting Baby Girl's Halloween costume made, and trying my damnedest not to get a cold....and I'm just done. I've felt like I could fall asleep at any moment for weeks now.

Today I just realized how incredibly worn out I am and just broke down and cried. I don't have any idea how I'm going to find the energy to cook dinner, to deal with Baby Girl (toddlers are SO EXHAUSTING), to clean my house, to do laundry, to make Baby Girl's costume...to do anything but sleep. And that's why I cried. I cried from stress and from exhaustion.

13 Weeks

2011-11-09T17:00:00.000-05:00

Written 10/23/2011 @ 13w1d

How am I feeling? If you would have asked me at 12w6d, I would have told you that the nausea had returned and I felt pretty awful. But today I'm doing pretty well. I even overate last night without too many negative consequences. The predominant symptoms that I experienced very early (morning diarrhea and headaches) have returned, but I'm hoping they don't stick around for long. I'm also experiencing quite a bit of pregnancy-related congestion that I keep thinking will turn into a cold. Imagine feeling like you're going to get a cold for over a week. That's where I am right now. Just relieved to be officially in the 2nd trimester and hoping the energy and feelings of normalcy return soon.

Weight thoughts: As of Saturday morning, I'm up 1.8 lbs from the day we found out we were pregnant, which I think is pretty darn good since I'm not watching what I'm eating nearly as closely as before. I'm sure the aforementioned symptom doesn't hurt, of course. Of course, I participated in a clinical study today (Monday) and it made it look like I'd gained even more. Crazy doctor office scales.

Doctor appointments? Not until November 7th. I'll be seeing one of my doctor's colleagues, which I'm actually looking forward to. If this baby cooperates, I'd like to deliver vaginally, which means I'd be more likely to have one of the other doctors in the practice deliver the baby. With a scheduled C-section, I wasn't terribly concerned about that.

Maternity clothes? Not yet. I want to, but don't really have a need to. The only type of clothes that aren't fitting well are my jeans and they work okay with a hair band on the button. My maternity jeans were never that comfortable, so I'm not in a hurry to wear those. I did try on a new-to-me pair of maternity khakis, though, and am really tempted to wear those. I definitely didn't look pregnant whatsoever in those, though.

Baby preparation? For me, it's mostly been mental. I'm still getting used to this. Every single day I think about how things will be different once we have another human to be in charge of. We did tell our good friends last Sunday, which was really fun. They were genuinely excited for us, which was a great feeling. We also told The Hubby's parents on Saturday (10/22) and they were really, really excited. I asked Baby Girl, "Isn't there something you wanted to talk to Grandma and Pops about?" She said, "Baby Boomer". The Hubby asked her where "Baby Boomer" is and she said, "In Mommy's tummy". It didn't take long for them to figure it out from there.

The Hubby has started working on cleaning out the room that will be Baby Girl's, much to my dismay. I'm not really that excited about moving her to a new room with a big girl bed. She, however, is incredibly excited about it. She asked me tonight about her bed and told me that she wants Boomer to sleep in her bed after I told her that her crib is her bed for awhile longer. She also decided she wants to paint her new room purple, so we'll be working on that soon.

12 Weeks

2011-11-09T15:00:00.000-05:00

Written 10/17/2011

This weekend we hit 12 weeks, which, even though 13 weeks is technically the beginning of the 2nd trimester, felt like a big milestone. We got to hear baby's heartbeat again on Wednesday and feel a lot more comfortable with being happy now.

I'm feeling pretty good. I was prepared on Saturday to write that the nausea was gone, but then got hit with another bout on Sunday. I think I just get off on my eating schedule during the weekends and that's what causes me to get nauseous. I was fearful that dinner would make me feel worse (last time I was feeling nauseous before having Chipotle, I felt worse afterward), but I ate my full bowl and felt great afterwards.

We got to share the good news with one of our closest couple friends yesterday and it felt great. We were a little nervous about telling them because they've had a rough year of their own, but they really seemed genuinely happy for us, which was a relief. We're hoping to tell The Hubby's parents this weekend (if they aren't available for us to visit, we might have to Skype with them--keeping this secret is killing me!) and then we'll be able to tell the world.

I'm still not really showing, but notice the swelling myself. I could probably keep wearing my normal clothes for the next couple of months, but am not sure I want to do that. Once we tell people, I like looking more pregnant than fat! So I'll probably switch to maternity clothes in the next month.

As I was writing this post, I realized I hadn't scheduled our 16 week appointment (the computer system was down when we were there before), so I called. Our next appointment will be November 7th (we'll be 15w2d) with one of my doctor's associates since my doctor will be on hospital duty that week (she warned us at our last appointment). Since I was on the phone, I asked to schedule our subsequent appointment, hoping to get a better time slot than late afternoon. The scheduler said we could come on Friday, December 2nd at 8:30 a.m. MUCH better time slot AND we'll only be 18w6d. That will be our anatomy scan (the scheduler says they do them between 18 weeks and 22 weeks--so glad to be on the early end of that this time! Last time we were over 21 weeks!). I can't wait to find out what we're having.

Doctor Appointment

2011-11-09T13:00:00.000-05:00

Written 10/13/2011

Yesterday we went back to the doctor for our 12-ish week appointment (will be 12 weeks on Saturday 10/15).

I should start the story a little earlier, though, where I'm at work. The appointment was at 2:45 and at 2:06 I realized I HAD to pee and I wasn't going to make it to pee in a cup. So I went to the bathroom and proceeded to chug 16 ounces of water so I could pee again at 2:45. We get to the appointment and I am successful at peeing in the cup (so much so that I could have overflowed it). Woo!

We waited for a LONG time in the exam room. There were a few signs asking patients to be patient, which made us laugh because we'd never had to wait for too long. Until that day. We didn't get to see the doctor until about 3:30. Wow.

From there, the appointment was pretty standard. I unbuttoned my pants and she stuck a paper towel around the edge of my pants and panties so she didn't get any goop on them. She pulled out the ultrasound and we waited. And waited. I began to panic (I found out later from The Hubby that I clenched my fists). She must have realized how scared I was because she said, "I can *see* it, but we just can't hear it". Thank goodness. Then she tells me that my bladder was extremely full. Seriously? I didn't even feel like I needed to pee. In fact, I didn't end up peeing until about 6:00 that evening!

Anyway, she moved the wand around my bladder enough that we were finally able to hear that beautiful whoosh whoosh whoosh. The doctor said it was in the 160s (was 168 at the first appointment).

And that was it. It was a really short appointment once we saw the doctor. We declined the ultra screen, but indicated that we'll do the quad screen when the time comes (at the next appointment, I think). And then she was gone!

One thing to note. At home, my scale is telling me that I've gained two pounds since finding out we were pregnant almost two months ago. That's great compared to gaining 10 pounds prior to my first appointment at 9 weeks with Baby Girl ;) But the office scale is saying I gained 2.5 pounds since our last appointment four weeks ago. I know it's not a big deal, but I'm hoping not to gain as much with Baby #2 than I did with Baby Girl. I'm not stressing about it, but I just want the record to note that my home scale says I haven't gained that much! :)

11 Weeks

2011-11-09T12:00:00.000-05:00

Written 10/11/2011

Eleven weeks. I'm actually amazed that we're here. I don't really know what I expected to happen, but it's astonishing to me that we're less than two weeks from the 2nd trimester. I go back to the doctor tomorrow afternoon where we're hoping to hear that beautiful heartbeat again. Once we do, I'll breathe a big sigh of relief.

I'm actually feeling a lot less anxiety right now about the pregnancy. I FEEL pregnant. I feel off and on nausea (still related to when and what I eat). My stomach is definitely protruding, especially by the end of the day. I'm getting out of breath when I go up the stairs. I'm hitting a wall mid-afternoon and then again early evening where I just want to sleep. I haven't fallen asleep just hanging out at the house like I did when I was pregnant with Baby Girl, though. The combination of these symptoms have given me a sense of calm. I hope the calm is warranted.

I think this is the longest I've ever kept a secret, too. We aren't telling many people for many reasons. It's gotten complicated keeping the secret, but we'll be sharing soon enough, I think. My mom asked if she could tell after our appointment tomorrow and looked shocked when I said no. This is on *our* timeline, not hers. I think we still want to get even closer to twelve or thirteen weeks before we share with the world. And there are some very important people we need to tell before we start screaming it from the rooftops. All in good time.

I need to get some bloodwork done. I was supposed to do it between my last appointment and this one, I think, but forgot to walk down and do it. Maybe I'll do it right before (or after, since we'll have some time, and to save some pain in case the bloodwork isn't necessary) the appointment tomorrow.

9 & 10 Weeks

2011-11-09T09:00:00.000-05:00

written 10/3/11

I didn't really post much at nine weeks because nothing was really happening. I was feeling better in general and just coasting along, waiting for our next doctor appointment.

Now we're at 10w2d and things have taken a turn for the worse. My nausea has ramped back up and I'm feeling worse than I was earlier in the pregnancy. I don't know whether I can blame my horrible food choices on Saturday (which sat just fine right after eating, but I found myself feeling horrible after eating dinner and couldn't even finish it) or if it's just baby nausea. I ate better on Sunday and was able to go out for dinner and enjoy my food, thank goodness. But I'm finding myself feeling pretty awful again today. Nothing like Sunday morning or Saturday night, but I just don't feel well. And that sucks. Hoping that it passes once I get back into a routine of eating normal again.

And now we're counting the days until our next appointment. 9 days, in case you were wondering.

We told my parents on Saturday that we're expecting and they were appropriately surprised and excited for us. I think they're far more excited for Baby Girl to be a big sister than anything, actually. I'm convinced she's going to be a great big sister. She's great with the babies at the sitter and loves babies in general.

Another recent development is that I feel like I've really popped. It's happened far earlier this time around. I'm having a hard time hiding my pregnancy (since we still haven't told many people) but, thanks to having clothes that are too big, don't need to move to maternity clothes just yet. You'd better bet, though, that once we start making the pregnancy public, I'll be wearing maternity clothes just for the comfort factor!

8 Weeks

2011-11-08T18:00:00.000-05:00

Written 9/21/11 - 8w4d

How am I feeling? I actually feel great. I've had some bouts with exhaustion, but nothing horrible. Last time I was falling asleep on the couch before dinner, but now I can at least make it until Baby Girl is in bed.

The nausea hasn't been bad at all. It's definitely tapering off and I only get it when I get really hungry or really full. For instance, yesterday I had TWO large pitas with tabbouleh, feta, and tzatziki in the middle of the afternoon. I felt fine for the first hour after eating it, but then by the time we got home, I was feeling pretty rough and just needed to lay on the couch for awhile.

I still get surprised by a shooting pain in my left bo.ob sometimes, but it's nothing severe. Just surprising.

I feel like the bloat is really on now. I notice it by the end of the day, but I'm pretty confident that most people just think I'm looking fat. Still no sign of needing to move to maternity clothes--I'm in the same place I was last time in that I have some clothes that were getting too big on me when I got pregnant, so now I can just wear them for awhile. Once we've told people about the pregnancy, I'll start wearing some cuter maternity shirts, just because I can. That, and to make people realize it's baby and not fat.

My weight seems to be holding fairly steady. In the first couple of weeks I gained about 5 pounds, even though I was actually eating less. I lost 3 of those and am back to up around 2. I'm allowing myself to eat junk again, though, so I'm guessing the pounds will creep on sooner than later.

What's new? We got to see our little gummy bear last Wednesday. I was having major anxiety about not feeling pregnant, so they set me up with an ultrasound at 7 1/2 weeks instead of having to wait until 9w6d. Thank goodness! We also met our new OB and we both love her. We didn't think there was any way we'd like her as much as our old OB (who is going to be focusing on surgeries instead of delivering babies), but we really, really do. Baby's heartbeat was 168 bpm and we got to see the spine, umbilical cord, and the rest of the blob of baby that was in there. How cool. Our next appointment is at 11 1/2 weeks. I think after that appointment we'll start telling the world, but will want to tell a few close friends before then...just need to figure out how and when :)

Fun facts? I love that The Hubby is so into this pregnancy. Since he has an iPhone he has a pregnancy app that's giving him updates about the baby, so sometimes he'll randomly tell me what size the baby is now. For instance, last night he told me the baby is the size of an olive. How exciting and absolutely adorable :)

Let It Begin

2011-11-08T14:44:00.000-05:00

Written 9/6/2011

The eating has begun. The first few weeks I wasn't any hungrier (or maybe even less hungry) than I was pre-positive test. But today I'm eating like crazy. I'm eating to stave off nausea and I'm eating to relieve stress. I'm craving all sort of random things and just want to eat and eat and eat. Pinterest is not my friend, as I'm pinning all sorts of delicious-looking treats that I don't have the energy to make. But they sure look good.

7 Weeks

2011-11-08T11:00:00.000-05:00

(written September 12th)

How am I feeling?

Too damned normal. It's actually scaring the shit out of me. I don't feel nauseous anymore. I still haven't hit the exhaustion. I feel pretty much like myself and I'm scared. The only lingering symptoms are my inability to breathe well and my inability to regulate my body temperature--I'm always either too hot or too cold and sometimes both, depending on the part of my body.

What's new?

I told our sitter on Friday so she could plan for next year and hopefully not pick up any infants after awhile. I just told my boss today because we're having a lot of discussions about the future and projects that will be upcoming and I wanted her to be able to plan accordingly. My boss, ever the realist (after having two miscarriages and a decade-long struggle with infertility and failed adoptions), advised me not to tell anyone until I have my first appointment (still 2 1/2 weeks away), which made me even more nervous about my lack of symptoms. She acknowledged the very real possibility of me having a miscarriage (her first one was discovered at her 10 week appointment) and now I'm completely anxious.

What's Baby Girl think?

We haven't really told her. We're not planning on telling her until at least after the first appointment and then we won't really talk about it much until I start to show so she has some tangible evidence that there's a baby in there. But we've talked with her every few days about what she would think about having a baby in the house. As of right now, she's said she'd rock "her" to sleep, feed her, change her diapers, share her toys, etc. I have no doubt she's going to be a great big sister.

6 Weeks

2011-11-08T09:43:00.000-05:00

Written 9/5/2011

I'm feeling much the same as last week, with bated breath. The fact that I don't feel horrible could mean one of three things: 1) this pregnancy is going to fail, 2) this is going to be a great pregnancy or 3) the nasty nausea and exhaustion will hit sooner. It really depends on the day which I believe to be true, but it's never #2.

I've had some bouts of nausea off and on, but nothing unmanageable. I've still got off and on tender boobs as well and some small cramping that feels like stretchy. My digestive system seems to have calmed down and I'm not waking to go to the bathroom much anymore. I'm not as hungry as I was when I was sticking to counting points, which is sort of weird, but I'm committed to listening to my body. My body temperature is impossible to maintain--I'm either too hot or too cold, without fail.

Also, my hair is still falling out in clumps. It started in June or so, which I assume is my normal summer shed plus some since I nursed until late April. But it's still going and it is GROSS. Waiting for the hair retention to kick in.

I'm noticing a definite expansion of my waist, but no real bloating yet--which is another reason I'm fearing for this pregnancy, although I have no record of how early the exhaustion, nausea, or bloating hit last time.

I feel like I should just relax and be grateful for feeling so relatively good. I've had a lot of stuff going on at work and also have been really active recently and if I were feeling worse, I don't know how I could've managed.

Update (just 5 hours later): I'm an asshole. The nausea has really kicked in and I can't tell for sure, but think it's taking the form of a meat aversion again. I got a huge wave while cutting up chicken for dinner tonight and had a hard time composing myself. Ugh. I should be happy--nausea is a sign of a healthy pregnancy. But damn...this is a bad week at work for me to be feeling like shit. Praying for no actual puking again this time.

Five (and a half) Weeks

2011-11-07T18:17:00.000-05:00

Written 8/31

I'm feeling...okay. I find that if I let my stomach get acid-y, I get nauseous. I also apparently ate too much yesterday (I had a snack of a small apple and a stick of string cheese at 3:30) and was really nauseous from that. But otherwise I'm not feeling much nausea.

I'm still having some digestive issues. I woke up around 2:30 Monday night needing to go to the bathroom. I can't tell if it's when I sleep on my back or if it's unrelated to sleeping position. I'm SO not ready for my sleep positioner already, so I'm hoping it's unrelated.

I'm still feeling a little crampy sometimes, but again, nothing too severe. I'm waiting for it all to hit, though, knowing that the full-blown nausea hit at 6 weeks for me last time.

My waist is already gone. I might have been delusional thinking I had one again, but it's totally gone already. I'm not bloating too badly, but can tell a bit of a difference.

I don't think I've mentioned this before, but my starting weight was 208, which was really exciting (I hadn't been below 210 since I was pregnant with Baby Girl). Even though I'm actually eating less than I was before getting pregnant (I'm committed to listening to my body and my body doesn't seem as hungry now), I've gained 4.5 pounds already, which makes me sad. My goal is to gain as little as possible (without going overboard, of course).

4 Weeks

2011-11-07T14:59:00.000-05:00

Blogger's Note: You're going to be seeing a lot of posts very quickly. I'm going to try to space them out some. I continued to blog after finding out we were pregnant, but just didn't publish the posts. Now that word is out, I'm going ahead with the posts.
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Written 8/21/11

I fear I've already gotten to the point where I cannot go too long without eating. I fear even more that the nausea has already set in and that scares me. We went to the park and when we got home I felt horrible. It could've been the heat, the lack of water, or the lack of food, but I just needed to sit. The Hubby cooked our dinner for us, thankfully. But man...I hope this isn't the start of something ugly.

I've got a really short fuse these days with Baby Girl, too. I can blame the pregnancy, but I think it's just how unreasonable and unpredictable she can be. She gets mad when I fold over the bread on her sandwich. She cries when I cut up food. She sobs for the most ridiculous (in my adult mind) reasons and I just have a hard time handling it. I understand that she's trying to exert her independence and I think we're really understanding with that. That's probably why I get so upset--we usually give her a chance to do something on her own or "like a big girl", but then if she can't handle it, we need to step in. And that's when the waterworks begin.

Anyway, pregnancy news is small. We haven't told anyone and are waiting for awhile longer. Our first appointment isn't until September 30th, but I can't imagine waiting that long to tell our families.

I should mention, though, that I'm being forced to switch OBs. My OB (who I just saw for my annual fairly recently) won't be delivering babies after October. I was going to switch to the OB that we had for our gender determination with Baby Girl (my OB didn't do the anatomy scan), but she's really popular and, therefore, harder to get in to see. I chose another OB in the practice, a woman. I feel a little embarrassed now, but I did ask if she speaks English well. I can be irritable when pregnant and really want to be able to communicate with my doctor well. Anyway, she does. So we'll be seeing her--I hope that it goes well, we like her, and that she's open to a VBAC if conditions are right for it.

So that's about it. I'm waiting for the exhaustion to hit, waiting for the nausea, waiting for everything else. I did test again yesterday morning, just to see. Still pregnant and the line is even darker than before.

This Morning

2011-11-07T12:42:00.000-05:00

Written 8/17/11

This morning after The Hubby's alarm went off I went back to sleep and had a dream. I dreamed that I was running all over my parents' house (that didn't look like my parents' house), looking for some pregnancy tests that I'd hidden. I thought I'd hidden them in the sleeve of a coat that was hanging in the coat closet and went to the closet and the coat was gone. I ran around a bit more, looking for the tests and finally found them on the floor in a pile (I had boxes of 50 or 100!) with other "junk" from the coat closet that my mom had tossed out. This means mom had seen them. I grabbed them and started toward the bathroom, but my mom was in front of me. I see her back start to get wet and then she starts running, something my mom never does. She ran into my dad's arms, sobbing that she'd peed herself again. And that's when I woke up.

Yeah, the dream was completely bizarre, but I had it in my mind that I needed to test. I'd thought about my estimation of when I'd ovulated, if I had when I normally did (approx 8/4) and decided if I wanted to test that I should wait until at least today, which would be approximately 12 dpo. Last time I didn't test until I was closer to being late--my period isn't due this time until Saturday and honestly, with the amount of stress I've been under, I wouldn't have been surprised if I hadn't ovulated at all or late.

I went downstairs, found a stash of cheap tests a friend had given me after she got pregnant, stowed a few in my underwear, and went back up to our bathroom, which still has a sleeve of plastic cups from when we were TTC Baby Girl. I was moving pretty quickly--I really had to go! I peed in the cup, dipped the stick, and sat and read a book for awhile, waiting (The Hubby was still sleeping and I didn't want to disturb him, especially since I was confident it would be negative). After 3-5 minutes, I glanced at the stick, fully prepared to see one line.

I saw two.

I immediately assumed that either 1) it was a false positive or 2) it was detecting some hormone from ovulation and I'm actually ovulating instead of pregnant.

I dipped again.

Still two lines.

And I was shocked. Just shocked.

I finished up my pottying, dumped the pee from the cup, and went out to our bed. The Hubby was awake and looked up at me and said he thought I was in the shower. I turned on my bedside lamp and showed him the sticks and asked him what he saw. He squinted. He said, "what am I supposed to see?" Duh, dude... Then he said, "I see two lines." A pause. "What's that mean?"

Seriously, dude? I have to spell it out for you?

"Two lines means I'm pregnant."

"Are you kidding?"

Yeah, I think it's official. We're both in shock.

Hell, I'm still in shock. I still don't believe it. I've been trying to figure out what could've happened to have the test messed up. This was our first month of "trying without trying" (where I knew we had sex within a few days of my expected ovulation, but didn't go out of our way to time it, temp, do the fertility monitor, etc.). And it just happened? No waiting for months? No negative tests? No way.

I emailed a picture of the pee sticks to the friend who had given them to me and she was as shocked as I was (she knew I was hesitant to even "try without trying", let alone actually TTC).

Physically, I'm still feeling some boob twinges. I felt a couple sharp, short cramps a couple of days ago (implantation, I'm guessing). I'm starting to feel a bit bloated and a bit crampy. All of these things could technically mean AF is on her way. Or it could mean I'm pregnant.

For now I'm proceeding as if I'm pregnant--better to behave as if I am than to take meds and drink as if I weren't.

Holy shit. This is (possibly) happening.

Meal Plan 11/6 - 11/12

2011-11-06T08:47:00.000-05:00

This week will be an odd one in our house, as our sitter is closed 11/6 through 11/13. Baby Girl's care will be provided by a combination of both of her grandmas, a great-grandma, and her parents. This also means that we need more servings for dinner and for leftovers for lunch than normal. Also, today we'll be hosting a dinner with The Hubby's mom, grandma, and brother and his family, so we'll have a full house.

Sunday: Spaghetti, meat sauce, garlic bread, and salad
Monday: Swiss Casserole Chicken, that I've been planning to make for weeks

None of the other meals have a pre-determined night--it all depends on what time we get home from work and how much time we have in the evenings to do prep.

Hot dogs & mac and cheese
Pot Roast, potatoes, carrots, and onions
Pot Roast Enchiladas
Pork Chops Over Rice
Chili

Meal Plan 10/23-10/29

2011-10-23T19:13:00.000-04:00

I have a hard time striking a balance between trying a bunch of new recipes, doing a bunch of old standbys, and returning back to newer recipes again. This week isn't a bad mix, but I had to work hard at finding a balance :)

Pepperoni Spaghetti Bake: This is a recipe that uses some Chef Boyardee products that I'm testing for a market research company. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to share the recipe, so I won't, but it sounds good :)

Swiss Casserole Chicken: This is for cooking club this week, but is something that I'd wanted to make before.

Enchilada Casserole: This recipe is from one of my coworkers. I'd had it before and had some leftover corn tortillas, so I asked her for it again. It's pretty good, but sort of time-consuming.

Roasted Potatoes, Chicken Sausage, and Peppers: I saw this come up on my Google Reader this week and knew it sounded like something simple that we'd love. I had half a bag of red potatoes that was waiting to be used and saw that red bell peppers were on sale at our grocery this week, so it sounded like a good fit for this week.

Sloppy Joes and Tater Tots: I asked The Hubby what old standby he'd like and he said it sounded good. I can never say no to meals like this since they're easy and definitely remind me of home.

One night this week we are going to go out to Montgomery Inn. I bought a Groupon a few months ago, thinking we'd use it either for our anniversary or for my birthday. We didn't ever celebrate our anniversary and went somewhere else for my birthday, leaving the Groupon unused and expiring on Friday. Just hoping Baby Girl will cooperate there--I hesitate to take a kid, but hope it will be better on a weeknight.

Oh, and tonight we had Raising Cane's. After dealing with a non-napping toddler for almost 2 hours in the car today, neither The Hubby nor I were in the mood to cook dinner.

Why Pray?

2011-10-21T12:19:00.000-04:00

I've been doing some spiritual reflection recently, which I think is important for spiritual growth. It really started when I was asking some friends how you're supposed to "let go, let God". In other words, how do you get it into your head that you're not actually in control of things, no matter how much you want to control (AND I DO). For instance, now that we're entering cold and flu season, I find I have a major rise in my anxiety because I'm always worried about one or all of us getting sick. I know, realistically, that we'll get through it, but it still stresses me out in a major way. I also know that there are steps we can take to reduce the possibility of getting sick, but ultimately we can't absolutely prevent it, short of taking drastic measures like not ever having contact with another human.

Soon after having this discussion, I began reading a blog about a woman who lost twin boys at 18 weeks pregnant, then got pregnant with sextuplets that she delivered at 22w6d. Four of the six died and she blogs about the surviving two. She's actually now pregnant again with a singleton. She and her husband have a tremendous faith in God and it's really made me think a lot about God's will. For some reason, it was His will that they would lose six children and they're accepting of that.

There's this odd distinction between God's will, though, and free will. In the past, I've always believed that we have free will, but God just knows what choice we're going to make. I still think that's true to an extent. But I've also been thinking about the point of this blog post. If God's will is going to happen, then why pray? Why express our desires to God if He's going to make the decision anyway? Can a human actually influence God's will? Or is prayer just a comfort to the person who is praying, feeling like they have some power in this world?

In this case, when I'm talking about prayer, I mean prayer asking for something. Asking for someone to get healthy. Asking for our safety. Asking for something specific to happen.

I don't think there's a definite answer to any of these questions, at least not for me, not yet. But they are thoughts that I've been grappling with and I wanted to write about, hoping to gain clarity. I haven't yet, but I'm working on it :)

Meal Plan 10/16-10/22

2011-10-16T13:10:00.000-04:00

This week's meal plan was incredibly uninspired, which is a little ridiculous. I read quite a few cooking blogs and have a TON of food-related pins on Pinterest. Unfortunately, when I started checking out my starred items in my Google Reader and my pins...a whole lot of them were desserts. Not helpful when trying to decide on dinner foods!

I wrote up my grocery list and, after looking at the grocery ads, decided that I wanted to go to Kroger, Meijer, and Aldi. I thought I would buy the least at Aldi, so I headed there before lunch. I'm glad I took the whole list because I bought everything for all of our meals, plus some snacks, and supplies for salads for myself this week. I've not bought much from Aldi before, so this is an experiment of sorts of quality and taste. I'll still run to Kroger for Goldfish and Meijer for apples ($0.49/lb), but both are on sale throughout the week, so it doesn't have to be today.

Tacos
Johnny Marzetti (for my cooking club)
Hot dogs and Mac & Cheese
Baked Chicken Nuggets and Baked Red Potato Fries
Roasted Veggie Pizza
Smoked Sausage, Cabbage, and Red Potatoes (and old family favorite)

(I have no idea which nights we'll eat which meals, but these are our choices)

My Typical Weekday

2011-10-14T12:39:00.000-04:00

Someone was asking about a typical weekday on a message board I'm a part of. Because I'd already typed it all up, I thought it would be interesting to copy and paste it here, just to remember what the routine was at this point in our life.

6:00: DH gets up and in the shower
6:20: I get up and in the shower while DH packs lunches and gets DD's toast ready
6:35: DH gets DD up and fed while I'm getting ready
6:55: We tag-team getting her dressed while scarfing our own toast
7:10: Out the door to head to the sitter's
7:40: Arrive at sitter and drop DD off. Leave for work.
8:00: Arrive at work (DH and I carpool)
4:30: Leave work.
4:50: Arrive at sitter. Drive home.
5:30: Arrive home. Begin cooking dinner immediately while DH plays with DD. If dinner is something that I put together and then it cooks on its own for awhile, I'll either clean up the kitchen or we might all take a quick walk.
6:15: Eat dinner
6:45: Clean up from dinner and maybe play with DD
7:00: Start DD's bedtime--she watches Special Agent Oso every night to wind down
7:30: DH takes DD upstairs to brush teeth. I get 3 minutes alone.
7:33: "Mommy, I'm ready for you!!" I wait a couple more minutes.
7:45: "Mommmmmmyyyyyyy....." I head upstairs. I read DD a few books, we pray, we sing songs, I put her to bed.
8:15: I head downstairs. Clean up from dinner, load lunch dishes into dishwasher.
8:45: Sit down and catch up on DVRed shows, email, etc.
10:00: Bedtime

Potty Training Update

2011-10-14T11:00:00.000-04:00

If you would've asked me prior to potty training, I would have said that I'd be sure we'd still have accidents at 26.5 months. If you would've asked me the same question around the time she turned two, I would've said that she would be fairly accident-free by now, based on the trend she was showing at that point.

Unfortunately, I was right when I said she'd still be having accidents. It's not horrible, but I think the root of it is that we're giving her a bit more independence with determining when to use the potty. We aren't asking her every 15 minutes if she needs to go to the potty anymore and I think that's leading her to have more accidents.

When she first potty trained, she was immediately dry during naps. I was so proud and impressed. And then, for some reason, about a week ago she started having accidents during naps. She may be sleeping more soundly. She had naptime accidents last Wednesday through Friday at the sitter, but stayed dry during her naps at home. The sitter put her in a Pull-Up every day this week and she's stayed dry all week during naps. We don't know if it was a fluke or what, exactly, it means. We're still taking the laid-back approach with her since she's still only 26.5 months old.

She's still peeing in her diaper/Pull-Up (just depends on what we feel like putting on her) overnight. She hasn't shown any inclination to wake up in the middle of the night and she rarely staying dry overnight. We have a suspicion that she does the majority of her overnight peeing while she's waking up in the morning, as it's usually warm when we go to her in the morning. I've always heard that night training is purely physical and not mental like daytime training, so I'm not surprised that she's not ready for it yet.

Generally, though, things are going really well. We've gotten her transitioned away from the convenience of her little potty in the living room and she's only using the big potties. She doesn't even use her potty ring most of the time--she's comfortable holding herself up. I guess the next task is teaching her how to wipe?!?!

Shadows

2011-10-13T13:29:00.000-04:00

Prior to turning two, Baby Girl hadn't really noticed shadows much. She'd noticed them when we were walking before, but didn't think much of them. One night, The Hubby, Baby Girl and I were all hanging out in her room and The Hubby decided it would be fun to turn out the light and show her a shadow puppet with his hand.

But it backfired. She was SCARED. She cried and clung to me like it was a monster that would get her. The Hubby and I felt AWFUL. We turned the lights back on, but she was still shaken up.

From that moment, she started noticing shadows everywhere. When we'd taken our walks around our neighborhood, she'd see them following us or in front of us. We tried to turn it into a game, rather than something to be afraid of. She'd jump on mine and tell me that she was walking on my shadow (Mommy, I walking on you shadow!). When I was putting her to bed, she'd notice the shadow that we created on her wall from the nightlight on her monitor.

After awhile, she got used to seeing shadows and that they weren't scary. We showed her how when she moved her arm, it moved her shadow. We played with the shadows in her room and she started having fun with them. I'm glad she got over it fairly quickly and it didn't turn into a full-fledged fear of the dark or anything. It was her second fear, besides fears of loud noises (which reared its ugly head the other day when The Hubby fired up the saw to make a rake Baby Girl-sized...). I think we can say, though, that it's been conquered.

Meal Plan 10/9-10/15

2011-10-09T19:59:00.000-04:00

It sure seems like we keep making new dishes, but never keep track of which ones we really liked and want to make again. Anyone have a good remedy for that? I think I try at least two new recipes that pop up in either Pinterest or my Google Reader every single week! We already cooked our dinner for tonight and it's definitely a keeper. Now if I can just remember it in a few weeks...

Sunday: Easy Skillet Pork Chops (new recipe)
Monday: Ranchero Chicken Crostada (new recipe)
Tuesday: Chicken Tortilla Soup (new recipe)
Wednesday: BBQ Chicken Braid
Thursday: Tequila Lime Chicken (a cooking club recipe)
Friday: Smoked Sausage Pizza
Saturday: either order out or eat a meal we don't cook during the week

Another Use for a Roast

2011-09-30T12:10:00.000-04:00

I know I'm not the first person to come up with this because I found the recipe online. However, it was definitely a concept I'd never considered.

You saw on my meal plan that I was going to make a roast in the crockpot. I did and it was very good. After The Hubby and I had it for lunch the next day, though, we'd both had enough of meat, potatoes, and carrots. I was talking to a colleague about this and she mentioned that she's made enchiladas with leftover roast meat. Brilliant! She said she'd send me her recipe but never did, so I didn't some Googling of my own and came across this: Pot Roast Enchiladas. Why hadn't I ever thought of that?

The Hubby needed to run to the grocery while I was putting Baby Girl to bed on Wednesday night anyway to get milk for her at the sitter's, so I asked him to get a couple of extra ingredients to round out the stuff we already had. We made the enchiladas last night and they were delicious! I did my own tweaking so that I didn't use half of an ingredient or something.

My instructions:

Preheat oven to 350
Dice one whole green bell pepper and half of a large sweet onion and saute together in some EVOO. Mix in one can of Rotel, about halfway drained, and the leftover pot roast, and just under 1/4 of the can of red enchilada sauce. Cook until warm.
Spray small glass rectangular dish (maybe 8x11ish?) with cooking spray
Split filling approximately into eighths
Using taco-sized tortillas, place filling in a strip across the middle, sprinkle with some cheddar, then roll up (I didn't bother closing the ends) and lay seam down in the dish.
Repeat until all eight tortillas are filled (you'll have to smoosh them together to get them all to fit)
Pour remaining enchilada sauce over the top. I didn't have quite enough to cover it, so some of the enchiladas weren't as saucy as others, but that was okay with me.
Bake for 15-20 minutes, until warm (I don't think it would hurt to cover, but I didn't. The sauce got a little dried out, but it's alright.)

I served it with some corn (I'd planned on rice, but couldn't find the rice I swore I'd bought).

This was really yummy and an easy way to use up leftover pot roast when you don't want to just eat the same meal again. Now what am I going to do with those potatoes and carrots, especially since I have a meal for tonight and am not cooking again until Tuesday?

Meal Plan: 9/25-10/1

2011-09-26T09:08:00.000-04:00

I wasn't feeling very inspired this week, so my meal plan isn't particularly exciting, but it's filled with some easy comfort foods. The Hubby balked at the thought of a roast this week--he says it's still too warm for it. This is the same person who fixed chili in August, though...

Sunday: Stouffer's Lasagna--yummy and easy. I'd never had it before but saw it on sale last week at Meijer, so I had The Hubby pick one up. We really enjoyed it and it was a lot less labor-intensive than making it from scratch!

Monday: Grilled ham & cheese with soup

Tuesday: Roast, carrots, red potatoes, and onions in the crockpot

Wednesday: Spaghetti and meatballs

Thursday: Grilled pork chops & peaches & red onion w/ rolls (could do Wednesday if it's not raining)

Friday: Leftover roast

Saturday: I *think* we'll be celebrating my birthday, but I'm not totally sure. We'll be celebrating throughout the weekend, but my biggest birthday wish each year is that The Hubby do all the planning for me since I plan all of our get-togethers throughout the year. He mentioned last night that there could be some celebrating on Friday. We'll see. All I know is that I'm getting coupons from some of my favorite restaurants with free birthday meals, so I'm looking forward to lots of eating out over the next couple of weeks :)

Well, I'm glad that's over

2011-09-19T12:26:00.000-04:00

I've been quiet and I know it. It isn't because I don't have things to say and it's definitely not because I don't *want* to blog. Work has been insane and, while I didn't do all of my blogging at work, my energy level in the evenings has been incredibly low. All I want to do once I get Baby Girl to bed is zone out at the TV and go to bed early.

Our project went live two weeks ago and it's rolling along fairly smoothly. I'm hopeful that we'll be able to dive into Phase 2 soon, but it should be much less taxing and time-consuming for me, especially now that the initial roll-out is done. You see, I was the main Systems driver for moving our office to a paperless process, which is a HUGE shift in culture. It's been a struggle to gain the buy-in that I needed and, as expected, we had some technical difficulties, but it's up and running and operational for most people.

This project has honestly been really exciting and frustrating at the same time. By the time I walk out of here, I'm wiped and have no energy to devote to my own family. I'm glad we've stabilized at work, though, since it's now The Hubby's turn to have crazy time at work. I'm hoping after this week we'll both be able to relax in the evenings and not be impatient and testy all of the time like we've each been over the last few weeks (mostly me, I'll admit).

This isn't necessarily an apology post--I also sort of wanted an entry to remind myself of this time, where I couldn't find the time or energy to do much of anything, let alone write out a great blog post. I hope you've all been doing well and hopefully this means I'll be around more often, writing more super exciting stuff.

Or, you know, writing about my kid and her potty training progress (she woke up dry this morning, for instance...). :)

So good that I'm telling you about it again

2011-09-08T19:07:00.000-04:00

I know I told you my meal plan for the week already, but I tried a new recipe that knocked my socks off tonight.

Earlier in the week we made shredded buffalo chicken. It was tasty, but a little spicy for Baby Girl,so we let her dip in some ranch dressing which made her a little happier. After having dinner and packing up our lunches, we set aside 2 cups of shredded chicken meat to use in this recipe.

I knew this recipe would be good because I've loved everything Cassie has posted that I've tried, but I never could have imagined how good it could be. You see, I've always been a blue box mac & cheese type of girl. Love the stuff. My mom would slave over making a mac & cheese from scratch and I never really liked it. It would be crunchy on top (in my opinion, mac & cheese shouldn't be crunchy) and I just wasn't a fan. In early adulthood, I tried this copycat recipe of my favorite macaroni and cheese at our favorite local BBQ restaurant. Whenever I want to be fancy with my macaroni and cheese, I'll make it and everyone gobbles it up.

So when I saw Cassie's recipe for Buffalo Chicken Mac & Cheese, I knew it would be yummy, but I just didn't have confidence that I would love it more than my go-to mac & cheese.

But you know what? I loved this recipe more than any recipe I've made in months. Seriously. The freshness of using real milk and cheese, combined with the buffalo chicken and some spices...delicious. I want to go pick up the pan from the stove and eat the entire thing. I'm actually thinking that next time I make the buffalo chicken I might just freeze half and use both halves to make this dish. The only tweak I made to the recipe was that I made it with the already-buffaloed chicken so I didn't add the wing/hot sauce. I thought the amount of heat was perfect.

I am tempted to put this on the meal plan again next week, but I'm actually thinking I might go see what other mac & cheese recipes she has since I remember quite a few crossing my Google Reader. But you'd better believe this dish will be back on the meal plan very soon!

Meal Plan 9/5-9/10

2011-09-05T11:39:00.000-04:00

This weekend was all sorts of crazy, so we ended up eating out a lot more than planned. We used coupons and gift cards to make it a little cheaper, but that meant we ended up with some leftover meals (and, even more sadly, some meat had to get tossed). Our meals this week are a combination of leftover meals and new meals.

Lasagna: This is my mom's recipe with cottage cheese....my favorite :)
Slow Cooker Buffalo Chicken Sandwiches and corn on cob
Buffalo Chicken Mac & Cheese: will make extra slow cooker buffalo chicken to use in this
Chicken Nuggets, Oven Red Potato Fries: Bought some panko to roll some chicken chunks in and bake
Spaghetti & Meatballs: I always cheat and get frozen turkey meatballs and then those hang out in the freezer for days we don't have leftovers to send with Baby Girl to the sitter's
Chicken Rollatini Stuffed with Zucchini served with pasta

Facing Forward

2011-09-05T11:33:00.000-04:00

It's so hard to believe how quickly Baby Girl is growing up. This weekend we sent her to her Grandma and Papaw's for Friday AND Saturday nights while Mommy and Daddy were participating in the OSU Alumni Band. We were going to pick her up after the game Saturday, but decided (correctly) that we would be too exhausted to make the drive that day, so we let her spend another night. She did great--I don't think she hardly noticed we were gone. We, of course, missed her when we weren't busy or sleeping, but I think it was good for all of us.

We had installed Baby Girl's carseat into my mom's car and when we took it out to put into our car to take her home, we reinstalled it forward-facing. Everyone but me seemed really excited. I get the feeling that my parents think some of the decisions we make for her are silly so they get incredibly excited when we decide that she can have some sort of sinful food or we let up on a rule or we turn her forward-facing. It's annoying. Anyway, she's now forward-facing, which she tells us every time she gets into the car. The seat in the little car is still rear-facing and I'm not sure when we'll turn it around, but I'm not in a big hurry. She was happy enough rear-facing, but does seem to enjoy seeing Mommy and Daddy while we're driving in the car. And now we can see what she's doing back there, too.

It's fine, it's nice. But the most important thing is that it's just another sign that she's really growing up. She's wearing big girl jeans with a t-shirt and actually has pigtails in her hair and she looked like such a big girl in her carseat on the way to the grocery this morning. I loved her as a newborn, I loved her as an infant, I loved her as a toddler, and I love her now as the little girl she's becoming. I just can't believe it's all happened so quickly.

My Noisy Mind

2011-08-29T13:04:00.000-04:00

After a really stressful morning of work (and a pretty meager lunch), I decided I deserved a short walk to quiet my mind and get rid of some of the stress. I was sure a dose of Vitamin D via the sun and some fresh air would really help.

You see, my brain doesn't get quiet very often. I've always got multiple to-do lists swimming around in there as well as detailed thoughts about the more important topics. My work has really, really picked up (which explains my lack of blogging) with a very large project going live one week from tomorrow. I'm finalizing testing, taking screenshots, and preparing training materials and records. I get overwhelmed very easily and find myself needing a break from the sheer noise of it all. Thus, the walk.

I stepped out the door and was greeted by more noise than I was experiencing inside my office. There was a loud roar overhead and when I looked up, I saw the Goodyear Blimp. Once I started to block that noise out, I heard the passing cars, then people on cell phones, then jack hammers in the construction zones, and then those damned cicadas. A quiet walk? I wish. It still helped me relax a bit and the sun was refreshing, but it definitely wasn't any quieter than my mind!

At 2 Years

2011-08-27T19:00:00.000-04:00

At 2 years, Baby Girl can:

Say her ABCs
Count to 20 (sometimes missing 13 and sometimes missing 16)
Sometimes count to 29
Speak in full sentences (longest word count I've had is 7 words, but I don't count most of the time)
Spell her whole first name
Spell the names of most of her daycare friends
Write her first initial
Recognize some letters (I don't know which ones or how many at this point)
Sing lots of songs--her best ones are Jesus Loves Me, ABCs, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, Baa Baa Black Sheep, Mary Had a Little Lamb, and most of Carmen Ohio
Go up stairs without holding on
Go down stairs without holding on (very recent development closer to 25 months)
Ask many, many questions: "What you doing here, Daddy?" "What's that?" "What's that sound?" (while holding her hand out like she's trying to listen, only with her hand in front of her ear)
Know that green means go and red means stop
Know that a red hand means don't walk
Do extended pretend play
Go potty all day with few accidents (2-3 per week)

At 2 years, Baby Girl loves....

Mommy at bedtime
Daddy at playtime
Baby dolls
Her doll house
Running
Being tickled, so much that she asks for it
Mimicking Mommy and Daddy (putting babies in timeout, etc.)
Being polite--she says "excuse me", "thank you" (which is now turning into "thanks"), "I'm sorry", "please"
Food--she's still a great eater (knock on wood)
Singing with Mommy
Mickey Mouse Clubhouse
Special Agent Oso
Marching bands
Goldfish crackers
Anything sweet
Wearing big girl panties
Daddy's iPhone
Rough housing with Daddy
Drinking milk
Jelly toast
Blueberries
Noodles
Coloring

At 2 years, Baby Girl dislikes...

Going to bed (although it's getting better)
Taking time out to go pee
Being told "no"
Anytime she feels like she isn't independent
Listening (I'm sure I say "Are you listening to Mommy?" at least 10 times per day)
Time out
Sitting still
Riding in the car

At 2 years, Baby Girl is:

28 lbs (60th percentile (!))
33.25 in (40th percentile)

(Letter to Baby Girl forthcoming...)

I Love You

2011-08-23T12:11:00.000-04:00

These three words are really common in our house. The Hubby and I say "I love you" every time we hang up the phone, whenever we part ways for the day, and sometimes just whenever. We tell Baby Girl that we love her all the time.

And now she's telling us back.

For awhile, it was "I you" whenever we said it first. But now she's giving us hugs and looking up at us, unprompted, and saying, "I love you, Mommy". And my heart melts every single time.

The other day I was crying because I was frustrated with her TWO-ness and she looked at me and said, "Mommy sad?" I told her that I was frustrated and a little sad. She wrapped her little arms around my neck and said, "I love you, Mommy" and my tears turned to tears of joy. I gave her a big smile through my tears and told her that I loved her, too.

I know someday she's going to tell me that she hates me and when that moment comes, I'm going to remember these moments, this little voice, saying "I love you, Mommy".

Meal Plan: 8/14-8/20

2011-08-14T17:05:00.000-04:00

Let's face it, blogging has officially been pushed to the back burner in my life. Work has been worse than I think anyone could imagine, making me stressed out every moment that I'm awake (thankfully I'm not one of those people whose sleep suffers when they're stressed). I have been wanting to tell you all about Baby Girl and how wonderful she is--because she really is--her official 2-year-old posts, and now to tell you about our vacation that we returned from Friday the 12th. I wish I could say vacation was a great way to recharge my batteries, but it really wasn't the case. But it was nice to get away and it was priceless to spend that much time with Baby Girl.

Anyway, something that remains constant is my meal planning. I may not stick to it all week, but money has had me pretty stressed out recently, so we've been making a more concerted effort to eat the food we've already bought. I made this plan this morning while Baby Girl played (almost a first, honestly) and then she and I went to the grocery. She was a big help, counting green peppers and corn on the cob with me. I was actually happy to have her along.

So even if I can't make the time to post about all the other things I want to, I can post my already-made weekly meal list so you all know I'm still around. I don't really know what night we'll have each thing, but know that I want to do a lot of grilling to have cooked chicken for a couple of the dishes when we have grilled chicken for dinner.

BBQ Chicken Pizza (the basis for this recipe is this but I don't get that complicated anymore--this is a meal we need pre-cooked chicken for)

Smoked Sausage Pierogi Bake: I'm going to lighten this up with smoked turkey sausage, fat free cream cheese, and reduced fat cheese. It honestly shouldn't be nearly as unhealthy as it looks :) And it looks delicious. In fact, we might have it tonight.

Unstuffed Pepper Skillet: I have some steamer bags of rice that will work well for this recipe and I saw that my grocery had green peppers for $0.50 apiece (plus I have a few that might come out of my own garden soon). Now I just need to see if all of my frozen ground turkey applies to the recall...

Grilled Chicken and Corn on the Cob w/ rice: Simple and yummy. I have some marinade that I'll use on the chicken that we'll eat that night and then grill some extra for other meals.

Chicken Pasta Primavera: a recipe that uses some of the veggies I'm growing (summer and zucchini squashes), some of the many boxes of pasta I've got in my basement, and chicken that was on sale for $1.88/lb this week.

Smoked Sausage Pizza: When I saw that the Smoked Sausage Pierogi Bake didn't use a whole package of smoked sausage and realized that I'd have an extra pizza crust (I buy the Kroger brand pre-baked crusts that come two to a package and are still cheaper than Boboli's one crust), I knew I needed to find something that used those ingredients. And when I realized that this recipe also used green peppers, I was sold. Never tried it before, but it looks yummy and my whole family will eat any type of pizza.

Happy 2nd Birthday, Baby Girl

2011-07-29T22:53:00.001-04:00

I have a couple of posts I need to crank out. I don't have any of them done, but couldn't let this day pass without SOMETHING from me!

On this day two years ago, I met the most beautiful little thing that would change me in ways I never knew possible. We've both grown and changed an incredible amount over the past two years, but I can hardly remember life before her.

We had a great day today as a family, so I want to write up a post about how we spent her special day. I also want to write her my traditional sappy letter and also a post about how she's developing. To give you an idea of what a grown up she acts like, tonight while we were talking to God I asked her who she was thankful for and she said: "Wait, Mommy, I'm thinking. I know......Grandma and Papaw." I never could have imagined, even three months ago, that she'd be so grown up at just two years of age. Simply amazing.

Happy birthday, Baby Girl. Mommy loves you more than you'll ever realize.

Meal Plan 7/24-7/30

2011-07-25T15:47:00.000-04:00

I have been meal planning this whole time, I swear! I just haven't been posting, for some reason or another. And, honestly, I haven't stuck to my meal plan for a couple of weeks. The first week was because The Hubby had an unexpectedly long recovery period from his wisdom tooth extraction so we were just winging it to make soft foods for him and the second week was...well....it just was.

But I'm back! We are putting ourself on a tight budget, though, and cooking with meat from the freezer and trying to make use of ingredients we have around the house. This means the meals could be completely non-creative or really, really creative.

Sunday: Sloppy Cubanos (I'd made these before and remembered loving them. I actually bought the ingredients last week or we wouldn't have been having them, both because of health reasons (who knew ground pork was so unhealthy??!?!) and because of cost)

Monday: Leftover Subs from Baby Girl's birthday party and Summer Squash and Corn Chowder

Tuesday: Black Bean Pizza (going to make pizza crust in the bread machine and hopefully have enough to freeze some)

Wednesday: BBQ Ribs and Summer Squash and Chive Pancakes

Thursday: Grilled Pork Chops and Corn on the Cob

Friday: Will probably eat out for Baby Girl's second birthday. Either that or we will cook something fun for her (likely pizza or pasta--her favorites).

Saturday: Will likely eat with my in-laws and my nieces (MIL and FIL are watching my three nieces while BIL and SIL are at a wedding reception and we're planning on taking Baby Girl over there after her nap).

Also, I have been doing my fun things. I have a post ready to show you all but want to add pictures :)

She did it (again)!

2011-07-21T12:25:00.000-04:00

Baby Girl didn't poop at all yesterday and I was really beginning to be afraid that she was going to be a poop hoarder and have it hurt, then fear the pain, then hoard more, etc. We told our sitter and talked about the conditions under which she pooped last time (pants off and in the little potty). The sitter was excited that leaving her pants off had worked for us (it was under her suggestion that we'd done it).

I got a text just before noon from the sitter: "Success! We have poopie in the potty! Yay!" I did a little happy dance while I tried to figure out who I could share my excitement with. After exchanging a few texts, I learned that the sitter had left her pants-(and diaper-)-less and had also brought out the little potty. After she revealed this, I asked her, somewhat jokingly, how long we need to keep her pantless. She assured me that she'd get it and I couldn't be more excited. I texted The Hubby and even called my mom, who I knew would be as excited as I am.

And now, because I'm still excited, I'm sharing with you. You're welcome. :)

Not Preventing

2011-07-19T13:23:00.000-04:00

I wish I could have this mindset when TTC. I wish I weren't so aware of my body that I always know where I am in my cycle, whether I'm charting or not. I wish I could just "play it by ear" and "let nature take its course". I wish I could try without trying.

But I can't.

We've talked a lot about TTC in the next few months. I still don't know if I'm ready, but I also don't know if I'll ever be ready, really. I want to lose more weight. I want to save more money. I want to be making more money so we can afford daycare better. I want to move to a better school district. I want to own my body for a little while longer. But I don't think I want our kids much more than 3 years apart, if I can help it. And who knows how long it's going to take to get pregnant.

In other words, I still don't know what to do. Why can't I love sex and just go at it with my husband without protection and get pregnant whenever it happens? Why do I have to plan sex and still know whether it's likely within my ovulation window? Why do I have to overanalyze every little piece of this?

I did it!

2011-07-18T14:20:00.000-04:00

Baby Girl's phrase for the weekend was "I did it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She'd climb up on the couch and yell "I did it!". Kick her legs and "swim" across the baby pool? "I did it!" Her excitement was contagious. Many times she was excited about things she's been doing for awhile now, but we all got excited all over again.

But once this weekend she did something she'd never done before.

I walked in the door from going to the grocery and heard "Mommy Mommy Mommy! Poopy potty!!!" I came running in as she points at the potty "Look!" I gave her a big hug and told her what a big girl she is. She started prancing around saying "I did it! I did it!"

I looked at The Hubby for explanation and this is what he told me:

"She had just gotten up from her nap and we were sitting and eating plums when she started tooting. She sat down to go pee and tooted some more and I asked her if she needed to go poop. She tried and tooted some more and then hopped up and said she was all done. She was doing a little dance that made me think maybe she needed to go, but she wouldn't sit back down. I left her without panties or anything, like we'd been doing before nap, and went into the kitchen to get another plum. While I was in there, I smelled it and immediately thought she had pooped on the floor. I walked in and there she was, sitting on the potty! She hopped up to "See it?" and since her bum was still dirty, I told her to sit back down. I got her cleaned up and that's when you walked in."

I am so incredibly proud of and excited for her. We've actually had more pee accidents recently because we've decreased the frequency of prompting her to go potty, so I was starting to doubt (again) whether she was ready. But I think we're in this for the long haul now!

Oh, and I did take a picture, but am NOT posting it here. I always thought those moms who took pictures of their kid's poop were weird....and now I'm one of them! I am not, however, going to go to the level of posting on Facebook or on my blog, though. I emailed it to my mom because she's taken an interest in Baby Girl's potty-training. Her response was "Damn!!" and then followed with another email that said, "Way to go! Aren't you glad you didn't have to clean that up?" While it would've sucked to have cleaned it from her diaper, it would've been even worse to clean it from her panties!

Who knows what this will bring--I don't know if she needs to be pantless and have a potty she can get to on her own (she used her little potty instead of the potty ring) or if this has opened a window that will allow her to realize she can do it and she'll do it on the potty from now on. We will see!

30 Days of Fun

2011-07-14T11:46:00.000-04:00

My bloggy (but hopefully soon in-real-life) friend, Cassie is starting an initiative to find and create fun in her own life by participating in 30 Day of Fun and I've decided to join her! I've been incredibly overwhelmed recently by day-to-day life and think I needed this little push to find and create fun in my everyday life. I plan to blog about it at least once a week, but if I do something incredibly fun, it might get its own post :)

I've already done something fun today (hello cheap Jimmy John's!), but may wait and see if something even MORE fun comes along this evening :)

I'd love it if you'd join me! Even if you don't blog, you can tell me all about your fun in the comments on my fun posts! I think too many of us get bogged down by Real Life and don't take the time to find the fun and have fun on a regular basis. My goal is to even find a way to make laundry fun one of these 30 days!

Potty Training

2011-07-13T21:20:00.000-04:00

I started this post about a week ago and had honestly meant to blog more while in the midst of the heavy-duty potty training, but just haven't had the time (and haven't prioritized it, either--some nights it was just easier to stare blankly at the TV than to blog). So here's my potty training update--July 2nd to present.
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Baby Girl has been using the potty in the mornings and evenings for us every day, but had been resisting using the potty at the sitter's house. After a discussion with the sitter, she agreed to start trying harder to get her to go and was successful the last few days of last week. She suggested that we try putting her in panties this weekend (the July 4th weekend) and having her try every 15 minutes or so. Because she's shown so much interest, we agreed. This is my chronicle of how the weekend went.

Saturday

Woke up, ready to tackle the day. We didn't have anything planned and could focus all of our energy on potty training. We got Baby Girl into some panties, had a talk about how special they are and how she shouldn't go potty in them, and started the day. She sat on the potty every 15-20 minutes and typically peed at least a little. She did great all morning long! She had one pee accident late in the morning, then we put her in a diaper for naptime. We changed her back into her panties for the afternoon and had two more accidents then (once while talking on the phone to Papaw). She still sat on the potty every 15-20 minutes and usually produced pee. We used a sticker chart to record her progress and she ended up with about 15 stickers over the course of the day. What a great first day of potty training!

Sunday

Woke up about 5 minutes before Grandma was supposed to arrive. Papaw dropped Grandma off before heading off to a golf outing. Day #2 has begun. Baby Girl did fairly well in the morning again. She didn't even fight us when we'd ask her to go potty. I was beginning to think that this might actually be working...as long as we could always be there to remind her to use the potty every 15 minutes or so. The Hubby and I went to go run in the afternoon and during that time, she had another accident. And once we were back, we had her try to pee, which she did, but then she had two more accidents in the next 20 minutes. And down goes my morale, thinking maybe she just wasn't ready for potty-training.

Monday

She did well. We spent most of the day at our house and she was willing to go potty when we asked. She only had a couple of accidents and I felt a lot better about our decision.

Tuesday-Friday

Tuesday we returned to the sitter's and I talked to her about our experiences over the weekend. We'd brought Baby Girl in a pull-up just in case she needed to go while in the car, so the sitter left her in that. We took a stash of pull-ups and panties and let the sitter decide what she wanted to do. The week was, in a word, amazing. Baby Girl didn't have any accidents and only woke up from nap wet one time. She was still pooping in her pull-up in the morning (the reason we keep delivering her in pull-ups), but peeing in the potty regularly. The sitter bribes her with candy (Smarties) and Baby Girl is smart enough to differentiate between the sitter's house and ours, where we reward with stickers (and sometimes money).

Saturday

Spend all day at a friend's house while The Hubby was helping build a shed. Baby Girl did really well going potty and only had one accident during dinner. I don't know if she woke up dry because I wasn't there when she got up.

Sunday

Went to my hometown to get photos taken for Baby Girl's 2nd birthday (eep!). Stopped to let her try to use the potty on the way down once--we had the portable potty with us. She didn't pee, but it ended up being a good solution for the future. She went potty in the car when we were done with the pictures (was wearing panties the whole time) and did pretty well. Again, I wasn't there when she got up from nap so I don't know if she got up dry or not (and no one else seems to think this is significant...). She pooped in her panties later in the day but otherwise was accident-free.

Monday & Tuesday (July 11th and 12th)

Did great at the sitter's again. She poops in her pull-up in the morning, then gets panties on after that, gets a diaper or pull-up for naptime, then panties again after that until bedtime. She's going potty whenever someone asks and is also prompting the sitter to take her potty. She doesn't ask us often, but we're also a little nervous to let her go too long. The sitter lets her go and has concluded that she can hold it for awhile now. I'm actually feeling pretty confident that she's really potty training and will be at least daytime pee-trained by the time she turns two. Wow. Amazing.

Wednesday (today)

Not a horrible day, but not the best, either. Pooped in her pull-up in the morning. Pooped in her panties in the afternoon. Peed in panties at lunch. :( Enter frustration and uncertainty.

I honestly think I'm feeling so uncertain because she's so darn young. Who expects their child to be ready to potty-train before they even turn 2? So when she shows any signs that she's not getting it, I question if she's truly ready. We've gotten this far, though, and will keep pushing through the slight regression. We'll get there. Next thing to truly tackle, though, is getting her to poop in the potty. If we catch her getting ready to poop, she stops pushing and then can't (won't) push on the potty again. We worry about getting her constipated. The sitter (who has been right about what we should do so far) suggested we let her run around all day without panties or anything. Apparently kids won't poop on the floor. So it'll either get her to hold it or get her to poop on the potty. It might be worth a shot.

23 Months

2011-06-29T16:12:00.000-04:00

In just one short month I'll be posting about my baby turning TWO. Insane.

I've wanted to devote an entire post to the things Baby Girl is saying. Let me just say that she's talking. A lot. She's forming sentences (minus "the", "a", "an"), asking questions (usually minus "what" and "where", such as "Daddy doing?"), using contractions, using pronouns (not necessarily successfully, of course...), singing, counting to 15, and repeating everything that comes out of our mouths...which could be dangerous.

The singing is the best thing, if you ask me. She can sing all of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and Jesus Loves Me. She also sings a good chunk of quite a few other songs. I love her sweet little voice singing with me. We finally got a recording of her singing Carmen Ohio with me--so sweet!

Baby Girl officially has 13 teeth. She has the eight front teeth, top and bottom, her first set of molars, and cut her bottom right eye tooth awhile ago. No real signs of any other eye teeth yet, though. She is drooling and chewing still, though, so I'm guessing the bottom left one will cut through sooner than later. I check for it every night when we brush her teeth.

She's wearing size 2T or 24 months in many clothes now, but many pants are still falling off of her and some capris are too long. If we had more shorts and capris in 18M, we'd have her wear those. She must have a longer torso, though, because 18M shirts are too short.

We're still struggling mightily with bedtime. I can't bring myself to shorten our bedtime routine, as I really cherish that time we get together. I love reading books with her, praying with her, and singing with her. She's still crying when I leave, but isn't crying as much when we have a later (not going upstairs until 8:00) bedtime. I honestly think she's tired before then, but if it cuts down on the crying and she's waking up okay on weekdays, I'm okay with a later bedtime, I suppose. It does give us time to do more things, like go paint pottery, cook dinner, and still get to have bathtime, like we did last night. Maybe my kid will stop being dirty all the time now :)

I can't even begin to express what a sweet kid Baby Girl is. She's quick with a hug and a kiss. She now has an imagination and loves to play with her baby dolls, diapering them, feeding them, and putting them to bed. She typically eats like a champ, although her favorite foods are any fruit (besides melon) and anything she can dip in some sort of sauce. She is drinking a lot more milk than she used to (some days 3 sippy cups full, which is A LOT for her).

Baby Girl is still working on potty training. She'll go whenever we ask (and typically has some pee to put in the potty), but tells us she has to pee as she's doing it. We'll get her to the potty (typically after running there) and she'll have a warm diaper. We'll still let her try, but we explain to her that she already peed. She's really proud of herself when she does it, though, which we love. And she's also finally peeing at the sitter's house. Previously she'd just try and then want down immediately. She's even trying to poop there. Woo!

Her favorite phrase is "birdie eat it". We've created a monster. When we were eating dinner outside regularly, if she'd drop something, we'd tell her a birdie would eat it because she'd worry about it through the rest of the meal otherwise. Now she's telling us that birdies are going to eat everything she drops, inside, in the car, outside...everywhere. And now she's throwing things down specifically FOR the birdies. We're going to have some fat birdies around our house!

Screw you, mommy

2011-06-23T19:57:00.000-04:00

Seriously. No matter how much time I spend trying to put Baby Girl to bed at night, I feel like she gives me a big ol' Fuck You every single night. She cries and yells every night. She's not winding down well, no matter how long we spend trying to have quiet time. I sing and sing. We sit in silence. We read books. She drinks milk. We snuggle. It doesn't matter what I do, she cries. And it's gotten to the point where I wonder why I bother trying and don't just throw her in her crib, blow her a kiss, and walk out the door.

Argh.

And the worst part? She's worse for her daddy than she is for me.

Tooth #13

2011-06-20T16:23:00.000-04:00

I'd meant to post this earlier. Baby Girl is starting to cut her eye teeth now. From what I understand, they're pretty painful and while she's handling it really well, she does seem to be bothered a little bit. Saturday, June 11th we were able to confirm that her lower right eye tooth has broken through. The spots for the others haven't even started to swell, but we know that doesn't necessarily mean anything (some teeth gave us no warning and just cut through without any swelling).

Once she's done with these, all she'll have left for awhile (I think) are her two-year molars. Never thought my kid would be behind the curve on getting her teeth--my orthodontist told me I was the youngest patient he'd had with wisdom teeth. (and no, before you think it, I am absolutely NOT worried about her teeth!)

Weight Loss Update: 216ish

2011-06-20T12:02:00.000-04:00

I'll tell you a secret...I only weigh myself in the morning, before my shower, after I go Number Two. If I don't need to go Number Two, I won't weigh myself that morning. Last week was rough--I only had to go TWICE last week. I think my body is saying, "No! Please don't go, food! We'll find a place for you!"

Anyway, I weighed myself this morning (the goal was to weigh myself Monday or Tuesday morning) and the first time I got 216.2. I wasn't really centered on the scale, though, and thought the number should probably be higher so I tried again. Honestly, I do it multiple times because my scale isn't particularly consistent. The second time, I got 215.4. Being the geek that I am, I knew I needed to find out which was closer to right, so I stepped back on the scale--215.4.

I'm calling it 216ish. I'd last weighed myself and was 220, so this means I actually lose a point this week. And if I were going to meetings, we'd celebrate "New Numbers!" (meaning I'm not in the 220's and am now in the 210's).

Hoping to see the 200's soon and I cannot wait to see a 1 in the front of that. Onederland is a good place to be. Of course, by the time that happens, I'll probably be trying to get pregnant again...

I'm averaging 1.5 pounds per week, which is pretty good for me. It's not Biggest Loser fast, but I'm able to be happy with what I'm eating and splurge a bit sometimes, too. Of course, I haven't seen the results of this past weekend yet (that usually doesn't happen until Tuesday or Wednesday for me). I was really, really good on Saturday, but Sunday ate a few too many sweets and then Outback Steakhouse for dinner. Oh well--all I can do is move on. Today is a new day!

My huge milestone

2011-06-14T19:30:00.000-04:00

(I apologize for any cursing in this post beforehand. In real life, I have a potty mouth and it really comes out when I'm feeling a strong emotion.)

I cannot believe it. This 220 pound, size 16W woman did it. I just jogged for 20 minutes without stopping.

I fucking did it.

Even in the best shape of my life, I don't think I ever jogged more than 1/4 mile without stopping. And tonight I jogged 1.3 miles. Without stopping to walk. Without succumbing to the cramp in my calf. Without catching my breath.

Wow. Totally shocked.

Something I did discover? It's my brain that was holding me back all those years ago. If I can do it now, I definitely could've done it then. And I'm so damned happy I found that inside me today.

I think we're going to try the run again soon (technically the program says we should do more running and walking for week 6 day 1), only we're going to try to push the pace a little. 4 mph is really slow--some people can walk that fast. But you know what? I DID IT.

Weekends are going to kill me

2011-06-13T13:05:00.000-04:00

I find myself really struggling with my weight loss over the weekends. I do really well during the week but we've been incredibly busy during the weekends and have either been away from home or too exhausted to cook.

Take this past weekend, for instance. On Saturday my parents came up and we went out to lunch. But then we got to the evening and didn't have dinner plans (we thought we would be doing something for dinner Saturday that then got switched to Sunday), so we ran out. Sunday The Hubby's parents were at our house and they brought bologna salad and chips for lunch. There were donuts for breakfast. There were cookies around. We had pizza for dinner because everyone was exhausted from working.

I made the best choices I could in bad situations--I had half a cookie. I only had a few chips. Used my light bread for my bologna salad sandwich. Got a salad and a light lunch on Saturday. Worked out on Saturday.

I just have a feeling, though, that it isn't going to do any good. I do my best during the weekend but still feel like I need to put forth more effort. This coming weekend we'll be back at the in-laws' house for the whole weekend again and I'll have little control. Again.

I'm doing the best I can, but how can everyone else splurge on the weekends and hover at slightly pudgy or overweight while I'm in the obese category and analyzing every damn bite? I guess I end up feeling sorry for myself sometimes. Why do *I* have to work so damned hard at this?

The Test

2011-06-11T10:00:00.000-04:00

I've been experiencing some symptoms recently. I had written it off to feeling weird after being sick, but when they went away and came back, I started considering it could be something else. I have been nauseous, had headaches, been dizzy, and been utterly exhausted. After describing them to The Hubby, I realized that those symptoms sounded a little...familiar.

Trust me when I say that me being pregnant is EXTREMELY unlikely. Between preventative measures and not much...action, there is a VERY low chance of pregnancy in this house. But I bought a test last night anyway. I stressed about whether to get the two-pack or just one and got the two-pack so I'd have them for when we actually start trying (note to self--go ahead and invest in the internet cheapies or at least some of the Dollar Store tests!).

I tried to take it after getting home from the grocery and even after a large mug of water and sitting around for three hours, I didn't have enough pee to run the test. So I stuck the test in my pocket and planned to try the next morning, not knowing if a test would work again (no control line or anything). I don't know why I felt so secretive, but I didn't mention it to The Hubby.

In the morning I peed. I sat. I stared. I wasn't even sure how I was feeling. Part of me was hopeful that it would be positive. I kept looking at it over and over again, sort of hoping to see that second line. But I didn't. I wasn't exactly sad, but I wasn't exactly relieved either.

I think I could be okay with getting pregnant, but still don't think I'm ready to start trying again. I'm not ready to give up my indepedence and controlling my own body. I'm not ready to get on that TTC roller coaster yet, either. I think the part of me that would have been happy to be pregnant was the part that doesn't want to go through the testing, the thinking, the actual trying of it all. It wouldn't be all bad to have a happy surprise.

Hi! Again.

2011-06-10T10:00:00.000-04:00

Last year when we took our vacation (Baby Girl was just over a year old), Baby Girl's favorite word was "hi!" She'd say it to everyone we passed.

She's doing it again. And she's relentless. Even if they say hi back, she keeps saying it over and over again. It's nice because I used to say "can you say hi?" and she'd wave a little wave. Now she yells "HI!!"

It's pretty cute, but sort of embarrassing sometimes, like when she's screaming at some delivery men while we take a walk.

The first time I wasn't so sure I want to have a girl

2011-06-09T08:00:00.000-04:00

When we found out we were pregnant, I was hoping so much for a girl. I love being a girl most of the time. I love the versatility of it--I can be athletic, get dirty, but also wear dresses and makeup. So when we found out we were having a girl, I was relieved and excited and have really enjoyed it so far.

Recently, though, the smallest bit of doubt entered my mind. Can I really handle all that raising a girl entails? How do I make sure she grows up being confident and loving herself, no matter what she looks like? How do I help her through body image issues that have plagued me my entire life?

You see, Baby Girl picked up my makeup brush and started to try to apply makeup to herself like she's seen me do many times. How do I explain makeup? How do I explain that Mommy wears it to cover up all her imperfections and to help her feel more attractive? How do I tell her that she doesn't ever *need* makeup? I wear it almost every day and I know that action will make a bigger impression than telling her that we don't need makeup to be beautiful.

How do I let my actions speak to her and let her know that she's beautiful, no matter what? How do I tell her, with my own actions, that her size doesn't matter, that she can embrace curves and love her body, no matter what size it is? I'm not comfortable in my own skin and I fear that she'll realize that. I'm taking steps to take care of my body, but will I ever be happy with it? And even if I'm not, how I make sure Baby Girl loves her own body and face?

Potty Training Update

2011-06-08T09:00:00.001-04:00

Potty training is still going on. We're at the point where Baby Girl is peeing on the potty at least once a day. This past weekend it was 4 times on Saturday and 3 on Sunday. She hasn't really been asking to go, but will typically try when we ask her. If she says no, we drop it.

When she does go, though, we have a reward system (that we aren't great about adhering to, but it still works). We give a sticker for trying and money for putting pee in the potty. She typically gets five pennies for peeing, which she then gets to count out and put into her piggy bank. If we're around my parents, they'll give her some bigger money (my dad recently gave her a $5 bill!) for going potty, too.

Our sitter says that next week when she's down to four kids on her busiest days (Tuesday through Thursday--Monday she'll have three and Friday just two) she's going to focus more on working on potty training with Baby Girl. She says she thinks she can have it done in three days. More power to her :) If it doesn't happen, though, I won't be horribly upset--it is still really early.

Smarty McSmartyPants

2011-06-07T09:00:00.003-04:00

Time to brag about my baby...if you don't want to hear it, move along :)

This weekend we were spending time with The Hubby's family and Baby Girl was coloring with The Hubby's cousin's kids (ages 3-6). One little boy, who is starting kindergarten in August, was trying to sing his ABC's. He kept getting stuck after E. It was obvious he knew the phrases, but just kept mixing them up. I felt a little sad, honestly, because I know his parents don't work on it with him at all.

And then Baby Girl did something that made me so excited and proud. After he'd say "E", she started singing "F-G-H-I-J-K-L-(some noise that was supposed to sound like M-N-O)-P". Atta girl!

Couch to 5K Update

2011-06-06T15:01:00.000-04:00

Even though we've been doing this for three or four months now, we've just moved onto week #5. Since The Hubby and I are doing this together, we also need to take Baby Girl with us, which means the weather has to be okay and she needs to not be too cranky. And it has to be before her bedtime (it would be nice to be able to go running around 8 or 9 now that Central Ohio has turned on Summer, but she's in bed at that point).

We're taking it slow, but this run was a HUGE ramp-up from Week #4 Day #3 (there are 3 running days per week). You can see the whole plan here.

We went from jogging for no longer than 3 minutes (alternating with 90 second jogs) to jogging for three separate 5 minute stretches! For someone who has never been good at or liked running, that's a big difference.

But you know what? I finished it. And I'm really damn proud of myself for it. I posted it on Facebook and was so excited by the comments I got (including a "like" from the guy I dated before The Hubby who loved to run and I think always wanted me to run with him). It also reminded me, though, of how much I've changed since college. I can't really explain it, but I could feel the judging non-comments from some of my college Facebook friends who I participated in athletic activities with and who used to judge me for being bigger at that point and it made me self-conscious about how much weight I've gained (and lost and gained and lost and gained....) since then.

And then I stopped feeling that way and realized that I'm living my life the way that makes me happy now. And I'm doing something that good for me and I should be proud! So I am. Who cares where I came from or how I got here--I'm here and I'm trying to make myself better. So you know what? Go me!

22 Months

2011-06-04T10:31:00.001-04:00

On May 29th Baby Girl turned 22 months old and I want to briefly update about her development.

It's much harder to describe the changes that she's going through at this point--it was much easier when she was walking, rolling, and sitting.

Our sitter claims Baby Girl has had a language explosion but I think The Hubby and I would say it happened closer to 21 months. She's definitely using phrases and sentences a lot more and rarely communicates with only one word.

My favorite thing (I think) that she's doing right now is singing. Just tonight, for instance, she sang almost all of the ABCs with me. She didn't get all the individual letters right, but said something for each of them. She sings Mary Had a Little Lamb and says all the repeating lines. She also sings pieces of Itsy Bitsy Spider and Wheels on the Bus, complete with hand motions for both. She still insists on If You're Happy and You Know It in the can, but has started playing tricks on Mommy and not actually doing the actions you're supposed to do. The silence after I say "Shout 'Hooray!'" cracks her up and she will laugh for about 5 minutes afterwards.

Speaking of the car....we still battle the car regularly. Baby Girl always claims that her "buckle hurts" and wants to get up. She always wants entertainment from one of us as well--either singing, reading a good, holding a finger, playing "Hide Seek" (covering her eyes and saying "I can't find her anywhere!")...you get the idea.

The major thing that can keep her occupied in the car, though, is looking for buses or big trucks. She loves them. I'm actually pretty nervous about car rides now that school is out and we won't be seeing too many "big yellow bus" anymore.

Baby Girl's eating has gotten worse. I'm not sure if she's just not as hungry or if she's getting pickier. She just recently started refusing broccoli, which was one of her favorites for awhile. She also seems to be starving on the way home from the sitter's so we give her her afternoon snack that she didn't finish and we're wondering if this is filling her up enough that she's not hungry for dinner. We're hoping she isn't getting too picky--we've always been really pleased with how many different things she would eat.

We're pretty much at status quo for pottying. She's peeing in the potty about once a day, but we typically have to ask her if she wants to try. Sometimes she'll try and sometimes she'll refuse. We don't push. We've been giving stickers as a reward for trying and money (typically five pennies) as a reward for actually peeing in the potty. The sitter will have almost half as many kids in a week, so she plans to focus on potty training at that point with her, which we really appreciate. I hope Baby Girl is ready.

Baby Girl is still refusing Daddy a lot. We have to reason with her and tell her that there are two parts to bedtime--changing diaper/pjs and the everything we do upstairs--and that Mommy will do one and Daddy will do one. We typically have a tantrum (which is fairly mild compared to what I hear from other parents of kids her age) before she gives in and lets Daddy change her diaper and pjs. Her refusal of Daddy makes both of us incredibly sad.

Baby Girl is definitely discovering her will and opinions, for better or for worse. A lot of the parts of this age are sweet. She's loving, still snuggly, curious, adorable (seriously--you need to hear this kid say "okee-dokee"), and fun. But she's also very opinionated and strong-willed and because of that we butt heads a lot. I am typically exhausted by the end of the day, especially when she fights bedtime every.single.night. But I love her truly and deeply and only want the best for her. Only two more months until she's two. Wow.

Edited to add some things I forgot:

Baby Girl is now navigating stairs entirely standing really well. We still try to spot her sometimes, but she does a really good job.

Baby Girl is still technically wearing 18 month stuff, but we didn't buy any summer 18 month stuff, so we're having to use safety pins on some of her 24 month/2T bottoms. The tops are fine and the dresses seem fine but the pants are long and pretty big in the waist.

Ear Tubes

2011-06-03T22:31:00.000-04:00

When we went to the pediatrician on May 16th as a follow-up to Baby Girl's EIGHTH ear infection, we knew what we would probably leave the appointment with. A referral to an ENT.

While this ended up being true, it didn't come readily. Our pediatrician is pretty conservative and let us make the decision about whether to move onto the ENT or not. He said that it was possible that Baby Girl would grow out of needing tubes (most kids don't need them after the age of 2) and because we were getting into the summer months, it was likely she wouldn't have as many colds as well. We decided, though, that since she'd had two ear infections (both double, I think) within three weeks and STILL had fluid in her ears from the last one, we should go talk to the ENT. Our pediatrician assured us that the ENT wouldn't push for tubes if Baby Girl didn't really need them (I was worried that if we visited with a specialist he would push to do his specialty).

I called for the appointment and we were able to get in just a few days later, on May 19th. We met with the doctor, who was incredibly nice and great with Baby Girl, and after hearing our history and looking at her he told us that he'd like to put tubes in. We asked him our questions about him being sure this was the best course of action and everything and he assured us that she'll be a lot happier and healthier with the tubes. We talked about her vocabulary already being ahead for her age and he said, "But how much better could it be?" The biggest selling point to me was that we could then treat any future infections with drops applied directly to her ears rather than systemic oral medications that she can build up a resistance to.

We were given the option of a surgery date of May 31st or June 14th (the doctor only does surgeries on Tuesdays and would be out of town on the 7th) and we chose May 31st. Better to get it done as soon as possible.

I submitted information about Baby Girl's medical history. About 5 days before the surgery was scheduled, Baby Girl's nose started running and a cough started. I called the ENT's office, fearful that the surgery would be cancelled due to her cold. They told us that generally a cold won't be a problem but that the anesthesiologist would look her over when we got checked on to be sure. We got the call on Thursday the 23rd that we were set for a 7:45 surgery, which meant a 6:45 arrival time. Early, but good since Baby Girl couldn't eat or drink after midnight.

Monday night. Insert sickness for Mommy. Blech. I was determined to be there for the surgery, though.

The Hubby and I got up around 5:30. We needed to be on the road by 6:15 and were planning to just wake Baby Girl and walk her directly out to the car. I went out to get the car running and The Hubby got her up--she looked awake and happy enough as he walked her out the car. Thank goodness!

We drove to the center without any drama and got there and registered. We filled out a little bit of paperwork and sat down. I still wasn't feeling great, so I sat and watched some TV while The Hubby took Baby Girl to the play area. He tried to change her diaper, but as has been the trend recently, she wanted "Mommy DO IT!" So I did.

By the time I emerged with a diapered child, the nurse was ready to take us back. We walked into a room with 6 partitioned spaces--two of which had a hospital-type crib. We sat Baby Girl up in the crib and talked to the nurse (who was fabulous with Baby Girl). After just another minute, the anesthesiologist came in to talk to us and to take a look at Baby Girl. She said she sounded good and that her cold was still just in her throat and therefore wouldn't cause any problems with going forward with the surgery (thank goodness). She asked for a snack a few times and we just told her we couldn't give her anything and she returned to whatever she was doing (thank goodness--this was the biggest anxiety-producer for both of us that morning--we thought we would have a tantruming toddler on our hands when we couldn't give her food). A nurse returned and asked how Baby Girl was at taking medicine and we told her that she typically takes it really well. She handed me a large syringe with a red medicine that turned out to be a sedative (I knew it was coming, but wasn't sure that this was it) and Baby Girl sucked it down--I didn't even need to push on the plunger.

We sat Baby Girl in the crib and waited for her to get loopy. We didn't have to wait long. The first sign we saw was that she couldn't quite sit up. Then her eyes started getting glassy and she started getting the stares. It was really amusing, actually. Not long after, a nurse returned to take her to surgery. She went easily to the nurse and we headed back to the waiting room. We had to pass Baby Girl and the nurse on the way out and I started to tear up, but we didn't let her see us. We sat down and read the post-operative care booklet, talked for a bit, watched some TV, and then I went to pee. By the time I was done, they'd come to get us.

We walked back toward the room where we'd first taken Baby Girl, but were told to turn another direction. We were meeting with Dr. K. He told us that they found a double ear infection while they were in there (the way he started to talk, it seemed like he was going to give us bad news...I felt my heart skip a beat as he started) and that we would need to give her ear drops to help clear that up. I asked if everything was okay otherwise and he said she did great. He confirmed that she can swim in the ocean (we're currently trying to decide what to do for a vacation and this was a concern we had) and gave us some instructions about what things we need to do to care for her ears while she has the tubes. Then we were sent back to wait for awhile longer.

We talked to another couple, who was actually someone I'd gone to high school and played in band with--what a small world, as neither of us lives in the same town that we went to high school in! They were called back while we were sitting there and we just watched a little more TV. We probably waited about 5-10 minutes before they called us back and said she was just starting to wake up.

When we walked back to the room with all the partitions, I saw her laying in a blonde nurse's arms, just starting to stir--so sweet. I was so glad someone was holding her--they didn't move that bed at all, actually. I took her from the nurse and sat in the rocking chair with her. As a nurse started to talk to us (I honestly don't remember what she said), Baby Girl was waking up and fighting to get down onto the floor. She could barely hold her head up, so I knew I couldn't let her try to sit or walk on her own yet and she didn't seem to understand that she didn't have control of her body. We eventually got her down on the floor with The Hubby, but she still wanted to walk. She fell over two times from a sitting position and her head hit the floor both times--ouch! She still wanted to walk and wouldn't let us help her ("SELF!!!"), but we knew we had to. This lead to a really big battle. We finally got her to sit still by giving her something to drink. She couldn't hold the cup up to her mouth well, but refused any help I offered, so we just watched her struggle. She eventually got it, though, and guzzled about eight ounces of apple juice pretty quickly. She said she wanted a snack so we gave her some Cheerios (which she also struggled to get into her mouth, much to the amusement of her daddy and me) and some pieces of cereal bar.

She drained what apple juice we'd brought her, so I went to get her something else to drink. They had juice available, so I put more into her cup. And then she got sick. Poor kiddo. The nurse was in there with us and helped us get her cleaned up and was so sweet to her. My kid, though, had no idea what had happened. She just wanted to get up and go some more (puke and rally, as my husband would say....). Can't keep this kid down! The nurse told us that if we felt comfortable taking her home, we could, so The Hubby went to pull the car around. Baby Girl and I went walking since she was really restless and another nurse offered her a Thomas sticker. Since Baby Girl was topless at this point, the nurse was putting her sticker on the teddy bear they gave us when she vomited again. It mostly got on the floor, but I took her back to where we were...and then she got sick again. Ugh. This can't be good.

The nurse went and told The Hubby that he should just park and we wouldn't be leaving yet and then went to talk to the anesthesiologist. She gave her a suppository for the nausea (ugh...not an experience I want to remember). We were just trying to keep Baby Girl contained, but she REALLY wanted to peek at the other kids in the room. One was someone that sounded younger than her and had a baby in a carrier with him ("Baby! Baby!") and the other was a bigger girl who she did successfully intrude upon. The nurse saw what a struggle we were having and, knowing we were going to have to hang out for awhile longer, put us into a room with a TV. It also had a couple of trucks that Baby Girl played with on the floor and we watched Mickey Mouse Clubhouse (one of her favorite shows). We got in there right around 9:00, at the start of the show. When we entered the TV room, she still couldn't walk well, but by the end, at 9:30, she was doing the Hot Dog Dance with pretty good balance.

We had cleaned up a poopy diaper (which used our last diaper...) and watched half of another Mickey when they told us that we could go. The Hubby got the car and a nurse walked us out. Everyone we dealt with was WONDERFUL--they were all so incredibly good with Baby Girl and told us how sweet and adorable she was.

The drive home was uneventful. I sat with Baby Girl in the back and we called my mom and we sang Mary Had a Little Lamb (Baby Girl will say the parts that repeat like "little lamb little lamb" in time), The Wheels on the Bus, and The Itsy Bitsy Spider. She was totally normal by the time we got home.

It was a good day. It wasn't as easy as many people had led me to believe (we waited longer than most people told us we would, it seems), but it wasn't bad at all. So thankful for the great people who helped us out. And now we know not to let Baby Girl drink so much after anesthesia :)

Mother's Day

2011-06-02T10:02:00.000-04:00

(Another stupid post that didn't publish when scheduled...)

A choppy rendition of my Mother's Day (I'm guessing when I first wrote it I'd intended to just write all the events out, then edit, then publish...which obviously didn't happen)
----------

Got to sleep in.

As I was getting up, heard the garage door go up and The Hubby and Baby Girl brought me a yogurt parfait and half a hash brown (or the whole thing if I'd wanted it) from McD's. I was given a card and told that they were going to do the laundry and grocery shopping for me. The laundry wasn't that far from being done, so that part made me laugh.

The weather was looking nice, so we packed up and headed to the zoo.

Drove up there and found there was an event for Mother's Day with some freebies. The zoo was busier than it had been when we'd gone before, but not horrible (we got there less than a half hour after open and normally go during the week).

Saw elephants (twice), all sorts of monkey, kangaroos (with Baby Girl hopping like them down the path and asking each of them to hop for her), lorakeets, koala, and some people dressed as animals. She was willing to blow them kisses, but not give high fives and definitely not hugs. We rode the carousel twice--the first time she was the only one riding. We had to convince her that the playground was too big for her. She got out of the stroller for awhile and walked and did pretty well staying close to us. We had a hot dog (she ate a whole one and The Hubby and I split one) before we left. The Hubby read to her in the backseat so she wouldn't fall asleep.
Got home and had a little fussing before naptime (NO NAP!!!), but I got her put down a little after 1:30 and then The Hubby and I had leftovers from the night before (Montgomery Inn ribs and Saratoga Chips). We sat and watched silly TV and just relaxed, thinking this nap would be short like all the others for the last few weeks. Instead, she slept until 3:55. Well over a 2 hour nap--guess she needed it! We went outside and played on the new (to us) swingset--The Hubby pushed her in the swing for at least a half hour while we listened to Pandora on his iPhone. Baby Girl started singing Jesse's Girl along with us and I even got her making some of the noises from Bad Romance. Adorable! We packed up the car for a "picnic" and went to Sonic. We parked near some grass so Baby Girl could get out and run. She devoured her corn dog (first one ever) and some of her apples while sitting in the big chair in the middle row. She loves sitting there and throws a bit of a fit whenever we have to put her in her carseat.

We drove home and had a "treat" of banana cream pudding that I'd made the day prior for Daddy's birthday. She ate it up and we played for a bit longer before it was bedtime. She let Daddy take her upstairs to try to potty and put on her pjs. I thought she was going to finally let him do all of bedtime, so I started making a grocery list, but then heard "mommy" and knew I needed to go put her down. Not the worst thing in the world :)

I ended up having to do my grocery planning and shopping by myself (although, as I explained to The Hubby, I don't mind the shopping if I'm by myself...it's the planning and then juggling a toddler and coupons). The laundry didn't get done. But I had the best day I could've imagined, which was something I needed desperately.

More sickness

2011-06-01T12:36:00.000-04:00

I've been debating about how to relay this and have decided to make it its own blog post rather than combining with Memorial Day (which may or may not get written...) and with Baby Girl's surgery post (which will come very soon).

If you don't want to hear some TMI stuff about bodily functions, stop reading now. You've been warned.

To get to my parents' house we take a very windy, hilly road and I may or may not have been going a little fast on it this past Saturday. You see, there is typically a semi or some other slowpoke in front of me, preventing me from even going 55 mph, so when I get the chance to cruise, I typically take it. We were driving along, having a nice car ride, when Baby Girl got sick. The Hubby was riding in the passenger seat and leaned back to comfort her while I found a good place to pull over. We stopped and got her cleaned up and as we were stopped we realized there was a State Highway Patrollman (woman) about 100 feet away with someone pulled over. As we were consoling Baby Girl and letting her walk a little bit, the patrol-person came over to see if we were okay. We assured her we were as she ran our plates, probably checking to be sure we hadn't stolen this little girl :) After she confirmed that we hadn't, she gave me the best route (or, rather, I technically asked her if X would be the best route) back to a smoother road. We loaded up a naked baby, headed back to that road and the rest of the weekend went smoothly. Baby Girl didn't eat as well as she typically does but I just rationalized that it was a toddler-ism, not that she was sick. I figured she had gotten sick because of the car or maybe from the snot in her belly (yes...another cold....), not any sort of stomach virus.

Fast forward to Monday night. Around dinner time I started to feel nauseous. I ate my dinner but had to force down the second piece of corn on the cob (it was really good corn for late May!). As the evening went on, I felt increasingly sick. Around the time The Hubby and I went to bed, I was feeling much worse and ended up getting sick. I came out of the bathroom and told him he'd better go sleep somewhere else. He'd had no idea that I'd gotten sick...so I guess that's good. I didn't get sick again but was up throughout the night feeling nauseous and going to the bathroom, if you know what I mean. Whenever I was awake I was just praying that I'd feel good enough to go to Baby Girl's surgery--I was NOT missing it. It was pretty bad but I did get to sleep from 2:30 to 5:15, which was when The Hubby woke me up to head to the surgery center. I took some Kaopectate (that stuff works seriously well--I'll never take Immodium again) and we left. I felt nauseous all day and didn't really eat a whole lot, but didn't get sick or anything anymore (thank goodness). I did end up falling asleep with Baby Girl sitting with me on the couch and then napped while she napped. I was awake long enough to hang out with her a bit and try to eat some dinner and then went upstairs after not feeling well after dinner. I ended up laying down and slept from about 7 until the alarm went off this morning at 6:30. Wow. I woke up intermittently, of course, to say goodnight to Baby Girl, to talk to The Hubby, and to feel nauseous (but never had to get out of bed). I still feel exhausted and somewhat nauseous, but am finally getting some water and food into my system and am back at work today.

Ugh. And now I'm just praying that The Hubby doesn't get it. It's not as bad as it could be, but it's not fun, either. We're heading out of town this weekend and I know the after-effects would last that long if he gets it now. Can we please be done with sickness? Seriously. It's June.

Down Seven

2011-05-23T12:55:00.000-04:00

I've been watching my food intake now for 4 weeks (tomorrow). I've been a bit more loosey-goosey with my points-counting in the last week, especially during the weekends when I have no idea the points values when we eat out or how to account for my activity.

To give you a view into how my body works, I give you my weekly (approximately...I've been a bit more lax on weigh-ins, too) weights. These are all first thing in the morning, pre-shower, no clothes:

4/26: 228.4
5/3: 224.4
5/10: 225
5/17: 225
5/23: 221.4

So I'm down seven pounds overall and I think just under 2 pounds per week is a good pace over the course of four weeks. I am very glad I stuck with the healthy eating through the mini-plateau. I knew from past experience that my body tends to not lose for a couple of weeks, then lose a larger number, so that was helpful. The other thing that kept me going is my outlook on this--I just want to be healthy. I want to be able to keep up with my daughter. I want to be able to fit through smaller openings. I want to wear smaller clothes. I want to be safe whenever we get pregnant again. I want to feel good in my body.

I'm determined that eating better is going to make a difference, as will getting more exercise. Even if the number on the scale doesn't go down, I'm doing something good for my body. I will see and feel a difference, even if I still weigh 220 pounds.

Yesterday we did Couch to 5K week 3, day 2. It had been awhile since we did week 3 day 1, so it was sort of rough, but it felt awesome end the end. Baby Girl was okay in the stroller (it had been a LONG day and I wasn't sure how that was going to go), thank goodness. I love the way my body feels after I exercise and need to find a way and some time to get more--I know I feel better when I do it. It's just so damned hard to prioritize the exercise when I get so little time to relax each evening and need my sleep to make it through the day. If Baby Girl is going to continue to cooperate in the stroller, maybe we can squeeze in some more jogging just before or after dinner. I need to find a way to make it work, somehow.

Why I Love Shutterfly

2011-05-19T13:22:00.000-04:00

I love Shutterfly. Serious love. They are my go-to site for photo books as well as gifts for our family.

When Baby Girl is ready to graduate (you know, from preschool.... Isn't it weird that they make a big deal out of those now? The only time I wore a cap and gown was high school and college graduation. But I digress...lol) I'll probably use Shutterfly to make graduation announcements because I love their quality and layouts that they offer.

I almost always make Mother's Day cards with Shutterfly to send to our mothers (and sometimes grandmothers and other mothers that I know). I love that they can do it all at Shutterfly and I don't even have to stamp my envelopes! I can just have Shutterfly send the cards for me and they arrive on time and are a great surprise for Baby Girl's grandmas. It's even better now that I've got a child--no one needed pictures of me for these type of occasions :)

We also used Shutterfly to make wedding albums for both sets of parents using the photo book feature. Because Shutterfly stores old projects, I'm still thinking of ordering one for myself (since we STILL, five years later, haven't gotten our album from our photographer....which is completely our own fault). But for now, pictures of Baby Girl are far more important than our wedding album. :)

I use Shutterfly for printing pictures, making photo gifts, making photo books, and making photo cards. I trust them to deliver a quality product and have found their site to be incredibly user-friendly. I'm techy, but would feel comfortable even having someone like my dad working on Shutterfly site, which is the highest compliment I can pay to a website!

If you're also a blogger, you can sign up for a chance at 50 free cards from Shutterfly (if we get them, I'm hoping to use them for Baby Girl's birthday party in July!).

Break my little heart

2011-05-16T19:16:00.000-04:00

We're sitting around, watching some goofy Elmo video, when Baby Girl says, "milk?" We said, "you want some milk?" and when she nodded The Hubby went and got her a sippy of milk. While he was in the kitchen, she pointed at me and said, "This milk?"

This is the first time in three weeks she's asked to nurse. I'm okay. A little sad, but better than I thought I would be at this point.

We told her that that milk was all gone and she was okay with it. She drank her sippy of milk (something she never does at home--we were so unprepared that she's drinking our 1% milk) and pointed to my boobies and said "milk all gone".

Yep, kiddo, mommy's milk is all gone.

Meal Plan: 5/15-5/21

2011-05-16T12:55:00.000-04:00

Only one carryover meal this week and that's because I just wasn't in the mood for it on Saturday. We ended up going out to eat both Saturday and Sunday and my body is definitely feeling it. Ick. Time to get back to some healthier foods!

We went to the North Market on Saturday and I used a coupon from a daily deal site to get $20 of free-range poultry for free. I picked up a whole chicken as well as three chicken breasts. A little sad that I could get over 10 pounds of chicken breast from the grocery for that price (or over 20 pounds of whole chickens), but I suppose it's healthier :)

Sunday: Out for DH's & FIL's birthdays

Monday: Minestrone Casserole

Tuesday: Whole chicken with mashed potatoes & veggies

Wednesday: Chicken Parm Burgers (based off an idea I found on another blog...just grilled chicken with some pasta sauce & provolone cheese) with veggie foil packets

Thursday: Shredded Pork with Cilantro Lime Rice

Friday: Swiss Casserole Chicken

Saturday: Pulled pork quesadillas

Weaned: Two Weeks Later

2011-05-16T11:22:00.000-04:00

(With all the silly Blogger issues last week, this didn't publish when it was scheduled. At least I didn't lose it, though!)

I mentioned in Baby Girl's 21 month post that we were done with nursing. I'm ready to talk about it, to explore the feelings I had and have had in the 2 1/2 weeks since.

But first, the story.

Easter Sunday (April 24th) we came back from the in-laws' and had a completely normal night. I nursed Baby Girl for what would be the last time. It was a normal session for us, from what I remember (had I known it would be the last time, I would have etched every single moment into my mind). She was a little distracted, as usual. She popped off to look at Daddy to talk to me, to watch TV. Nothing abnormal at this point. I handed her off to her daddy and they went upstairs and did their bedtime routine and she went to sleep for the night.

Monday evening we were gearing up to start our bedtime routine. I asked Baby Girl if she was ready and she said, "Stairs?" This means she is ready to go upstairs, so I asked, "don't you want some milk first?" and got the reply, "No milk". I asked her a couple more times, The Hubby asked, and she said no each time. So no milk that night.

I honestly don't remember if her daddy did bedtime that night or I did. I know I went to the grocery in tears. I cried most of the drive there and probably looked like a crazy woman while walking the aisles. I collected myself before I entered the store, but I'm sure I looked a wreck. I couldn't believe my baby was done.

I got teary during the next day at work from time to time, but honestly thought she'd want to nurse that evening again. I just hoped that I'd be able to produce something for her. I hadn't felt any fullness and had already known that my supply was pretty low at that point.

I was wrong. She never asked for it again. I got up the nerve to ask her this past weekend if she remembered what mommy's boobies were for (she's obsessed with talking about boobies right now) and she said something random. I told her that she used to drink milk from mommy's boobies. She seemed wholly unimpressed and went along with her playtime.

Honestly, the biggest problem with the weaning is that she's still having a really rough time with bedtime. She doesn't seem to be winding down like we'd like and we've tried different things so I don't have to spend an hour upstairs with her every night (because she's now refusing to let The Hubby do bedtime) and nothing is working. She won't sit quietly and drink a sippy cup of milk and read, a bath isn't winding her down, sitting and reading books isn't working. She's incredibly wound up and wants to play upstairs once we get there. I give her a limit on the number of books and warn her after each book how many she has left. I try to set limits on the number of toys and blankies and demands she places on the way I rock her. Last night I finally put her in the crib and just rubbed her back for a minute, which worked well and might be what we try again tonight.

But back to the weaning. Once I realized that Baby Girl is actually weaned, I've been trying to celebrate it.

I've been wearing a real bra since 4/27 (one with UNDERWIRE!).
I've taken allergy medication
I've started back on Weight Watchers (and have lost at least 5 pounds)
We went out to dinner and didn't worry about being back in time for bedtime (although we were and were happy to see our girl before she went to sleep)
I could (although I haven't yet) start drinking caffeine again if I want
I have been able to drink wine without really worrying about any implications

I know there are positive aspects to weaning, but I still miss that requisite time with my girl each night. As much as I resented nursing sometimes, I do really miss that quiet time with her. She's now an active toddler who doesn't have time for cuddling with Mommy. She's moved on. And I'm trying to do the same.

Hello....

2011-05-12T15:58:00.000-04:00

Hello, blog. I've missed you. Have you missed me?

You see, real life has gotten in the way again and I've neglected you.

Wait! Don't walk away yet. I'm sorry.

See? I'm down on my knees. Can't you see how sorry I am?

I'll make love to you
Like you wa--

What? You don't like my singing?

Well, then how about a little interpretive dance?

No? Then what can I do to make it up to you, to make you realize how sorry I am?

What's that you say? Blog more?

Oh. I can do that.

I'm sorry, blog. I get intimidated. I have lots of posts in my head that I want to put out there. I have so much to say and am struggling with how to say it and how much judgment I'm going to encounter once I do. So I stay silent. But now I know that that's not how to treat you. So I'm back.

I promise.

21 Months

2011-04-29T16:05:00.000-04:00

Every time I write one of these, I'm tempted to start out with the same, tired line. "I can't believe it's been XX months". But it's true. In ways, I cannot remember a time without my baby. But in others, I can't believe that she has changed from a baby to a toddler seemingly in the time it took me to take a breath.

She is amazing. In this past month, she has started exerting her independence more than ever. Her favorite phrase of the last month has been "DOOWIT!!!!" or "Self!" In other words, she wants to do it herself, whether it's get dressed, put on her shoes, eat, change her diaper, climb the stairs, brush her teeth... You get the picture. It's generally been okay except when she had a cold. A toddler trying to blow her nose and hold the tissue gets a bit messy.

In the last couple of weeks, we've noticed a big push toward using phrases instead of single words to convey her thoughts. She had been using two-word phrases some, but now it's almost always at least two words (even if they still sound like one word sentences because of the unnatural break in between them).

Baby Girl is also becoming more reliable with her manners. She says "Sank You" and "Peeease" and "Cue Me" on a regular basis. And she says "Sorry" when she hurts herself. I think this is because whenever we hit her head getting her into her car seat we'll tell her "sorry".

This month has also been one where Baby Girl learn to climb and descend the stairs standing up. I don't know if her height was her previous limitation or if it was our hesitation, but she's getting to be a pro now. As long as she has something to hold onto, she can go up and down any stairs. Of course, this also means she wants to prove her abilities whenever we're around a set of stairs, so our baby gate has been getting a good amount of use.

The last, less pleasant development that we've experienced has been, as of this past Monday, a complete shift in attitude. She's decided that Daddy isn't worthy of putting her to bed. She now knows that brushing her teeth is very likely going to kill her. She also now believes that booby milk is for babies.

Yep, she's now weaned. Look for another post all on its own about that. It has been since Easter Sunday that she last nursed.

All of these changes have meant that bedtime has become an incredibly painful battle. I think she's having a hard time winding down now that she's not nursing. It could also be because she's throwing tantrums about brushing her teeth and about Daddy trying to change her diaper and put on her PJs. Oh, and she's screams and cries if we even mention Daddy doing bedtime, even though he's done 98% of her bedtimes since she was born. It's loads of fun. I'm praying it's a phase and fearing it isn't.

All of this means that she's becoming her own independent little person. I have moments of loving it...and moments of not being so happy about it. But it's inevitable, so I'm accepting it and trying to adjust to her ever-changing personality. Only three more months until we hit age two!

Judging

2011-04-26T12:42:00.000-04:00

After I post a blog post like I did yesterday, I fear that I'm being judged. I know there are about 30 people per day that visit my blog and I don't know who most of them are. So I picture them all sitting there, reading my post, and just judging how crazy I am instead of offering (any!) words of support.

The feedback I get from those of you who post comments means the world to me, but the silence I hear from everyone else makes me want to run and hide and not post anymore entries that are so revealing of my soul. I realize that yesterday's post was about 24 hours ago and not all blog readers are so ~~obsessive~~ devoted to reading blogs, but this just isn't the first time I've felt this way. It makes me want to make my blog private and not share what I'm thinking and feeling with anyone.

This is NOT trying to beg for comments or anything--just sharing, again, how I'm feeling. Honestly. Openly.

Why does it matter if people are judging me? It just does. I wish I could take on the attitude of not caring what others think of me, but that's not who I am or how I operate.

I love blogging. I love expressing my feelings and talking about my little girl in a place that people can choose to visit and read (rather than bombarding all my FB friends and message board members with story after story of all the cute things she does). But I don't just do it for me. I don't just do *anything* for me. I try to tell funny stories to amuse you. I try to talk about how I'm feeling in the hopes that someone else might be feeling the same way and either I can help them or we can, at least, find some camaraderie in it. Some part of this blog is for my own record-keeping. It's what I do instead of a baby book. One of these days I'll go fill out her baby book and I'll use this blog to determine when she took her first steps, got her first tooth, and said her first word.

But mostly, I blog for the community. And rather than hearing the comments I do get, the silence is saying more.

Priorities

2011-04-25T12:17:00.000-04:00

Last night I start reading Good Enough Is the New Perfect* and the first chapter was talking about priorities and that we need to decide what our priorities are so we can decide what we can let go by the wayside. I know already that I am a Never Enough, which means that I keep trying and trying and it's never good enough for me. I made Baby Girl's food, nursed until TBD, don't feed her sweet, limit her TV-watching, etc. And I still think "I should feed her more organic" or "she loves Spongebob far too much"--it's never good enough for me. Other people look at her and think she's wonderful and perfect but, for me, perfect seems unattainable.

And it's driving me crazy.

I know, logically, that no one can be perfect. But in my head I think, "but maybe I can" or "I'm going to keep trying". It's driving me crazy, though, beating myself up for any little thing. I second-guessed myself for days when I took a Benadryl (a does is two pills and I only took one) before bed last week. I beat myself up for not getting Baby Girl Stride Rites and putting her in shoes from JCPenney that are too big so she can wear them longer (and yet, I still did it...). I kick myself for not bringing unsweetened applesauce because my mother-in-law only got the sweetened stuff.

I know, logically, that sweetened applesauce for a weekend, wearing good--but not the best--shoes, and taking a Benadryl a full 22 hours before nursing Baby Girl again are NOT going to kill her. But how badly will they hurt her? How badly have I messed her up down the road? How much therapy is she going to need to get over the things I still haven't done?

Yep, I know. I'm neurotic. And the worst problem is that I worry like this about everything. I spent too much at the grocery store. I slept in too long and am going to make The Hubby late for work. I didn't exercise and feel like a blob. I haven't emailed that friend in 3 days--what a horrible person. I'm constantly criticizing myself and I need to find a way to stop.

And that is why I've ordered this book and started to read it. The problem is, I don't know what my priorities are to be able to determine what to let go. This is what I'm going to be working on this week. Unfortunately, I don't know where to start. I start a list, then get all nit-picky and can't determine how big or small it should be. Should it be "Keeping Baby Girl healthy", "Teaching Baby Girl to eat healthy" or "Making sure Baby Girl doesn't have sugar" (and one for each food I don't like her to have)? Should it be "Saving money" or "Saving enough to do XX"? How specific do these need to be?

Yep. I'm neurotic.

* Just days apart I received this book as well as Two Kisses for Maddie, which I have been dying to read. I started Good Enough Is the New Perfect, thinking that Two Kisses for Maddie might give me nightmares to wake up in a cold sweat at 4:15 from the more horrific nightmare I've ever had and never get back to sleep before The Hubby's alarm went off at 6:00. So much for that!

Meal Plan: 4/24-4/30

2011-04-25T11:59:00.000-04:00

Because we were out of town (again) this past weekend, I didn't get to do my normal plan on Saturday and shop on Sunday. I tried to plan last night, but it just didn't happen. So here it is--my haphazardly thrown together meal plan for the week:

Sunday: BBQ pork leftovers from last week, mashed potatoes, peas

Monday: Quesadillas made from chicken, onion, & mushroom leftovers from last week

Tuesday: Whole chicken (thank you Tupperware microwave cooker!), mac & cheese, frozen veggie

Wednesday: BBQ Chicken Braid with frozen veggies

Thursday: American Chop Suey

Friday: BBQ meat cups (biscuits in muffin tin, filled with ground beef coated in BBQ sauce, then topped with cheddar cheese and baked until biscuits are done), pasta, veggie

Saturday: Nieces' birthday party

I'm also looking for side dish recipes--something really, really easy but just a bit different from orzo/rice/pasta/mac & cheese/quinoa (or something to throw in with these). I always look for main course recipes and never spend time on side dishes.

Back in the saddle....or something like that

2011-04-20T11:45:00.000-04:00

Watch this video and sing along with my words below:

Back on the potty again
Trying real hard to go
Where I sit and I can read
Waiting for the need to pee
I'm back on the potty again

Sitting here once more
Maybe for a minute, maybe four
Where I spend a lot of time
Gonna make this potty mine
I'm back on the potty again

Whoopi-ty-aye-oh
Rockin' to and fro
Back on the potty again
Whoopi-ty-aye-yay
I go--say "Yay!"
Back on the potty again

---
It's true--we're back to hanging out on the potty. We're not pushing at all, but she's just started being interested again. The best part is that her first two tries with this renewed interest, she peed in the potty! She hasn't again, but she's actually giving it a good try, which is all we can ask for right now.

We're giving her stickers for trying (when we remember....) and giving her change for her piggy bank when she actually goes. We aren't holding out much hope that this will be it, but the fact that she's interested is really encouraging!

Oh, and this is now Baby Girl's favorite video (the whole thing is much longer, but this is our favorite part of it):

Happy Birthday

2011-04-19T11:30:00.000-04:00

I think I mentioned this in another update, but it's worth re-sharing.

Baby Girl has really taken to singing Happy Birthday. I think one of the other kids at daycare sang it, so she started. When she'd started, she didn't say anybody's name, though. She'd just sing "Happy Birthday..." over and over...and over.

Her cousin's birthday was April 4th, so we sang it (A LOT) with her cousin's name in the song. And then her twin cousins' birthday was April 9th and one of the kids at the sitter had a birthday on April 15th. So she started singing TO people. It still wasn't the actual song, just "Happy Birthday, Daddy..." over and over.

She's now sung to her cousins, every kid at ther sitter, the sitter herself, the animals at the sitter's house, Minnie, books, herself, Daddy, Grandma, Papaw, baby, Cheerios, Fishies....you get the idea.

Well, this morning she sang to an unlikely recipient.

She was sitting at the table eating her breakfast and started singing "Happy Birthday....cough" Yep, she sang Happy Birthday to her *cough*. Let's hope the cough doesn't hang around long enough to celebrate its birthday.

Allergies

2011-04-19T11:17:00.000-04:00

Baby Girl has another cold. Who would've thought, huh? We were actually healthy for a week or two, but then she went back to the sitter's (the sitter took a vacation), where one of the other kids had a snotty nose and a cough. And now, guess what? She's got a snotty nose and a cough. She's really handling it well and it's only cut a couple of naps short, but she is overall sleeping fine. I'm hoping she's on the uphill now--we'll see. As usual, if it doesn't clear up some by mid-week we'll be heading to the doctor to have her ears checked.

Oh, and now I've got a runny nose. I was blaming it on allergies yesterday, but today I'm not so sure.

This brings to me to my ongoing question--to medicate or not?

I was having this debate mostly when I thought it was allergies. You see, before getting pregnant, I was on four different allergy medications with limited success. I am allergic to just about every environmental allergen out there and the worst part is that it settles into my ears and causes major ear pain and dizziness. Oh, and my other allergy sufferers have runny eyes and nose and sneezing, making it obvious they're suffering...and I don't. So that sort of sucks.

But since getting pregnant and then nursing full-time I haven't dealt with much as far as allergies go. I've had days where I felt stuffy or had some ear pain, but it was never as bad as it had been--yay! Unfortunately, it seems that whatever those hormones were doing to keep me from suffering has stopped working and now I need to make some decisions about whether I should start taking some medications. The medications that I would think would be the safest for nursing (since I am still nursing once a day), nose sprays, aren't classified as particularly safe. And the pills are going to do some drying and I fear they will impact my supply (which is pretty much non-existent anyway). So I could take the meds right after nursing Baby Girl and hope that she doesn't get much through the milk the next evening, which is what I'm leaning toward.

The biggest problem, though, is that I'm frustrated that there isn't a single doctor that can help with both symptoms and knowing what's safe for nursing. Even my OB/GYN didn't seem to know for sure what meds are safe during nursing. My primary care physician looks it up in a book, which is more than any other doctors I've had. My allergist, though, didn't seem to know what would be safe when I'd asked him previously, which is why I haven't been back to see him since 2008 (besides the trip for Baby Girl's allergy testing). I need someone who can look at my allergy symptoms and suggest medications that will work well and will also be safe for Baby Girl. There are suggestions out on the web, but I would prefer to get it from a doctor who can see the whole picture. I suppose that's where a holistic doctor would come into the picture...but they don't seem particularly apt to prescribing meds, which, in this case, I need!

Just frustrated, I suppose. I'm not looking forward to suffering through the next 7-8 months without any allergy meds. I'll do what I have to do, but am hoping I can find some sort of happy medium that won't harm Baby Girl but will help me with my symptoms.

Meal Plan 4/17-4/23

2011-04-18T09:27:00.000-04:00

We were out of town this past weekend and will actually be out of town again this coming weekend, so I only needed to plan for five meals. One meal is reusing some shredded BBQ pork from last week and one other is a repeat from last week that didn't get made (we'd planned on cooking at home on Saturday, but were visiting my parents instead). So, meal planning was easy this week...but I still somehow spent $80 at the grocery. Stay tuned as I explore how this happened and hopefully you can learn something from me.

Sunday: Chinese with my parents
Mondays: Crockpot stew beef & cream of mushroom soup served over rice with some steamed veggies--one of my favorite childhood meals
Tuesday: Southwest Pasta Skillet
Wednesday: BBQ pork with rice & steamed veggies
Thursday: Pork Chops Over Rice
Friday: Some sort of veggie & chicken pizza...to be determined. I'd planned on using Flat Out, which was supposed to be on sale at my grocery store...but couldn't find any. So I instead bought some high fiber tortillas that were BOGO and may do something with it (or I might do something completely different). Let's face it, I'm really bad at winging it in the grocery store, which is why I go with a list!