Christmas 2014 - Days 1 and 2

In an effort to recapture my blogging mojo and also to keep track of memories. I'm going to try blogging every day (or close to it) to try to log the ways we celebrated Christmas each day. The posts may not be long or eloquent, but the goal is to capture memories and get back into the habit.

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We started our Advent calendar on December 1st. The gift for that night was an ornament for each kid--Elsa (from Frozen) for Baby Girl and Jake (of Jake and the Neverland Pirates) for Baby Boy. They were both incredibly excited and loved hanging them on the tree that we'd gotten and decorated the day prior. 

December 2nd is a Tuesday, which means it's Jump Bunch night. That means a quick dinner, then The Hubby and Baby Boy were off to his class. During that time, I cleaned up from dinner and then Baby Girl and I hung up a garland on our bannister. It was all knotted and tangled by the end, but we had fun with it. I tossed it to her, making her giggle, we pulled the fake garland through the spindles on the bannister, sending the needles everywhere. That meant that we got the vacuum out after we were done and she loved helping me clean up.

The Advent calendar gift tonight was a book of the Charlie Brown Christmas. Because of how late it was, we didn't get to read it, but I anticipate we'll read it tomorrow night!

A moment to remember

I've wanted to blog about all the changes in our lives lately--my weight loss (37ish pounds from late February to today so far!), Baby Girl starting kindergarten, Baby Girl's new daycare, Baby Boy's potty-training (done!), Baby Boy's transition to the sitter without Baby Girl, and maybe a few more I'm missing--but something happened tonight that, while small, was so wonderful that I need to record it.

We're at my in-laws' house tonight, after being up late last night watching Frozen in The 'Shoe. Baby Boy napped in the car and Baby Girl didn't nap at all. She isn't napping during the week since she's in kindergarten, so it isn't a huge deal. By bedtime, however, Baby Girl was a Mess. She cried and sobbed when we told her that she and her brother were going to share a bedroom. We still don't know why she was so upset, but it went on for at least 15 minutes. During all of her Mess Baby Boy was behaving incredibly well. He laid on his cot and snuggled his Olaf and tried to fall asleep. The Hubby and I had lost patience with it and I'd told her that she needed to calm down or she'd be sleeping in the basement. She did calm down mostly, then was ramping up again when I got up and asked her to get up. She calmed herself fairly quickly after begging me not to make her go and I was so exasperated that I told them I'd be back and I needed a drink of water. As I closed the door, I heard Baby Boy whining a bit about me closing the door (I think), but just moved on. I got my drink of water, made a frustrated comment to The Hubby and his parents, and went toward the door again. I heard nothing. I stood outside the door for another minute, still hearing nothing, and then opened the door and peeked in at them. Their elephant nightlight was off and they were both completely still. 

Let's rewind to talk about why this is a miracle. You see, every night I sit in Baby Boy's bedroom for 30-60 minutes, waiting for him to fall asleep. I just sit in the chair and typically play on the iPad. So it always takes him a very long time to wind down and actually fall asleep. For him to wind down enough to fall asleep within about 3 minutes is truly miraculous. And she'd been so wound up, begging to snuggle with me, begging to touch me, begging me to stay right by her and just generally freaking out, that I thought my leaving would make them both hysterical.

I went back to the family room, amazed that they were both settled down. We sat and watched football for a few hours before Baby Boy woke up whimpering. I went to him, had him lay back down, and was rubbing his back to help him fall back asleep when I saw a small stuffed animal beside him. He'd only had Olaf in his cot when I left him. Then I realized what it was. It was Surgery Bear, Baby Girl's very favorite stuffed animal, one that's been with her for years. Even through her hysteria, she was so kind and caring to her brother and the fact that he was upset that she gave up her favorite stuffed animal so he could relax and fall asleep himself. My heart melted like it hasn't in a long time.

I'm going to do my best to remember that as we deal with the behavior and emotional issues that we've been struggling with as we transition to our new normal. Deep down, behind the irrational crying and screaming, she's the same little girl I know and love dearly.

Heard from the backseat

A little two year old voice:

"Hey met you, hey crazy, number, call maybe, bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad"

(See "Call Me Maybe" by Carly Rae Jepsen)

I can sleep when he's older

Over the last few days and weeks, Baby Boy has been making some major steps in growing up. It's happening quickly and has completely caught me off-guard. He's consistently staying dry all day and has starting telling us when he needs to go potty again. He's been putting himself to sleep. He's been sleeping all night. He's been doing many things by himself ("Me do it"). He's speaking much more clearly (I said in the car today, "no, you're not tight" and he said, "yes me tight!"). He has opinions about everything. Today he even climbed almost entirely out of his crib. And lastly, I think we might be done nursing.

But some nights he's still waking up in the middle of the night and this means I get some snuggles with my little man. Tonight he didn't want to fall asleep by himself and instead snuggled in like a baby and let me rock him to sleep. And that's when I had the thought that forms the title to this post: I can sleep when he gets older. For now, I'm going to enjoy the snuggles and watching him sleep peacefully. Because I know from experience that these times go too fast. Soon enough he won't fit perfectly in my arms and won't want to cover me in the sweetest kisses ever. So I'll take it.

The beginning of the end

I'm not even sure if it's the beginning of the end.  More like the middle.

I've removed my pumping times from my work calendar.  I'm at the point now where I'm not even pumping enough milk to cover the bottom of the bottle.  Last time around I was more than happy to break up with the pump, but then it was my choice and Baby Girl's choice.  She had cut out pre-naptime nursing on her own and there wasn't a need for me to keep pumping during the day.  Baby Boy, however, has been different in that we sort of forced his hand on cutting out his pre-naptime nursing session.  He's fine if I'm not in the house and doesn't even ask for milk, so I've been leaving the house before naptime or we've been in situations (not necessarily on purpose) where his naptime has been shifted on the weekends--we've been in the car or in a strange place.  He hasn't nursed on a weekend in 5 weeks now and I only pumped during those times on one weekend.

Additionally, I've cut way back on my caloric intake.  It's going well...for me.  I've lost about 6 pounds in the last two weeks or so.  But it's not going so well for my milk supply.  Baby Boy doesn't seem to notice, which is good, but him nursing on an empty breast isn't the most comfortable feeling, either.

I'm taking time to cherish the time we have to nurse, though, since I'm pretty sure that he's going to be my last baby, my last child to nurse, the last breastfeeding relationship I'm going to have.  I watch him while he nurses (aided greatly by Daylight Savings Time), talk to him, kiss him on his head, and sometimes I let him nurse to sleep if he's close to it already.  We snuggle.  It's our time to spend together.  Do I think it's a good idea to rock him to sleep each night?  No, of course not.  But I need it and I think he does too.  He'll get too big soon enough and he'll become more independent, but neither of us is ready for that yet and it works for us.

I blinked

Apparently I blinked and missed the day when my baby suddenly became a big boy. What the heck happened? It's left me feeling a little dizzy!

Around the beginning of January, Baby Boy started showing interest in the potty. We got out the training potty and let him try it out. What do you know? He peed! He's been using the potty 75% of the time since then. He consistently stays dry at the sitter besides nap time and generally uses the potty at home as well. He definitely fights it more at home and doesn't tell us when he needs to use the potty as much as he does at the sitter. If he keeps going consistently, though, we're going to try him out in big boy underwear very soon. When he got some for Christmas from my mom, I thought it was funny, but apparently we're going it actually put them to use!

After a week or two of pottying, Baby Boy suddenly went from waking anywhere between one and four times per night to sleeping through the night. His first night sleeping through the night was Monday, January 27th, at just shy of 21 months.  He's slept all night 7 of the last 9 nights and each time he's woken he hasn't needed to be nursed back to sleep! It's a huge change for us. I do wish that I could say we feel amazingly rested,but we're still catching up, I think.

Add these changes to watching him learn letters, counting, and hearing him talk more and I can confirm that he is quickly becoming a big boy. While I know my job as a parent is to help him grow and learn, I'm feeling very melancholy, especially since I think we might be done having babies. I can't believe I might be done nursing forever soon and I won't have too many more middle-of-the-night snuggles. I'm definitely experiencing mixed emotions about it all. But even if I wanted to, I can't stop it from happening!

Who is this person?

I've always wanted to be a runner. If you know me, you know that that isn't me, though. In college I did some athletic activities, but always struggled with running. I've never been particularly in shape and am usually shopping in the plus size section of a store, no matter whether I'm on the lighter or heavier side. Heck, I blogged about my weight loss previously and I was still a 12/14 at my lowest weight.

So yeah...not built like a runner. It doesn't come naturally in the least. 

Back during my major weight loss journey I tried adding in some running to aid in the weight loss. I made it through about three weeks of the Couch to 5K program before I realized that the exercise was actually impeding my weight loss. Then I avoided anything that would cause me to burn too many calories the whole time I was nursing Baby Girl. After she weaned, Hubby and I started up on Couch to 5K again. We made it to the point where we were running 20 minutes at a time, which was huge for me.

And then I got pregnant with Baby Boy and it all stopped.

Yes, I realize that you can still run when pregnant. I've known many women who were runners and kept running through their pregnancy. But I didn't. For one, I wasn't already a runner. For another, I like to relish in the fatness of pregnancy. (Please save your criticisms and judgment--it is what it is for me)

After Baby Boy was born, I tried to run again. Hubby and I have a few sporadic attempts at running, but the kids, laziness, time, and weather have all gotten in the way. We'd love to be able to run together but that isn't really realistic with two children who don't inhabit small spaces well together. 

Today I had spent 45 minutes doing Baby Boy's nap time, which was an anomaly, so I was exhausted. It was almost 50 outside, though windy and mostly overcast. Instead of using nap time as an opportunity to zone out in front of the TV, I decided to go running. 

What?!?

Yes, you read it right. I chose running over laziness. And no, I have no fever. So I equipped myself with Hubby's smart phone (I still have a non-Internet, paying for texts phone), an 80s Cardio station on Pandora, and headed out, planning to jump into week 3 of the Couch to 5K plan. I walked the 5 minute warm-up, then jogged the 90 seconds. After walking the recovery 90 seconds, I started to jog again. But instead of watching the clock for the end of the three minutes, I just jogged. By the time I looked at the clock, I was at 2:50 and was feeling good, so I kept going. I ended up jogging for five minutes. I did only two minutes of recovery, jogged two minutes, another two minutes of recovery, then set out to jog the length of a street in our neighborhood. I got to the end of the street in four minutes, but decide to turn the corner and jog to the end of my street, one street over. I got there at 4:51, turned up my own street, and finished out to 5 minutes. I shocked myself by how well I did and feel very proud. I'm sure it doesn't sound like much to most, but for me it's pretty huge.

Maybe I can actually meet my goal of running the Buckeye four-miler in November. I've wanted to run the Race for the Cure for awhile in May but don't know if I'll get to train enough for it, but I still might register and plan to walk it.

Running is hard for me and so is getting motivated to get off my butt and do something active. But you know what? It felt good and I'm looking forward to feeling like this again.

I'd expected this day, but not necessarily so soon

To say things at work have been stressful would be an understatement. In fact, things are downright ugly. I come home every night wound-up, frustrated, and irritable. Add on top of that the fact that neither kid has been sleeping through the night and Baby Boy was up 4 times last night and you've got one mess of a mommy.

At pick-up at the sitter today, Baby Girl was being overly silly. She wouldn't sit still to put her shoes on and wasn't listening. We were already running late and just wanted to get home. I was wrangling the little one while Hubby was trying to get her out the door and the sitter was talking to me about her plans for the summer at her new house. As we walked out to the car, Hubby had a very stern talk with Baby Girl, telling her that she wasn't being a good listener and that she'd do time out if she ever behaved that way again. We got in the car and Baby Girl says, "I wish you guys didn't have that job." "What job?" we ask. We initially think she means our paying jobs, that she resents that we have to work at all and we're prepared to launch into the speech about how important money is. But then she says that she wishes we didn't have the job of being her mommy and daddy. After some clarifying conversation, she admits that she wishes we weren't her mommy and daddy. 

I told her that she hurt our feelings very badly, then turned on some music so we could consider our response. I told her about all of the nice things we do for her that many parents wouldn't do. We make up stories from scratch every night. We snuggle in her bed every night. We cook her yummy, healthy food. We comfort her when she's scared in the middle of the night. We let her crawl into our bed when she's scared. We coddle her for hours when she crying before bedtime, claiming that she's afraid someone will break into our house.

Eventually we're all silent, save the 20 month old asking for his water or some pretzels, oblivious to the conversation happening around him, and the sound of my sniffles. I later told her that we could start showing her how mean we could be and listed what we'd stop doing, which elicited many tears from her.

The remainder of the thirty minute car ride was spent mostly in silence, again, save the little man. She eventually says that she was sorry and that she didn't mean it and we make up, but I think Hubby and I are both still feeling pretty awful. She was so hurtful with her words and I know it's only going to get worse. 

It's a New Year

I fully recognize that everyone and their brother is making New Year's resolutions and trying to make big changes with the arrival of 2014.  I suppose I'm going to try to jump on that bandwagon.

I've found myself crafting blog posts in my head again, which tells me that it's likely time to get back into blogging.  I also have found that there are things about life right now, good and bad, that I want to document and remember down the road.  Things like the fact that Baby Girl says "vacation" like "vi-cation".  Or that Baby Boy slurps when he wants his drink and walks (or runs) up to you with his mouth wide open saying "ahhhhh" if he wants to eat whatever you've got.  And the fact that Baby Girl is struggling mightily with her bedtimes--she's crying for hours on end, shaking, worried that someone is going to break into her room.  And of course I want to write about how *I* am feeling these days, which, to be honest, is not that good.

I might change the format of this blog.  Hell, I might even start a whole new blog--I'm not entirely sure yet.  What I do know, however, is that I feel a need to speak, to get my thoughts out, and my blog is a good outlet for that.  So I'm back in some format and will keep any of you who are still reading posted.

18 Month Stats

Weight: 23 lbs 11 oz (43rd percentile)

Length: 31 3/4 inches (27th percentile)

Head: 19.29 inches (89th percentile)

Quick stats update for both kids

Gah.  I hate that I'm so far behind.  My big girl turned FOUR and I need to tell you all about the little girl that she is.  There's no more baby left in that one...except the way she says "breakfast" and "just".  But otherwise, she's growing up.  The thigh rolls are all gone.  Sniff.

Anyway, this week is the one time that the kids' well checkups lined up--Baby Boy is 15 months and Baby Girl is 4 years old.  We were able to get back-to-back appointments.

Baby Boy:

Weight: 21 lbs 11 ounces (33.4 percentile)
Height: 31 inches (43.31 percentile, up from 2.36 percentile at one year)
Head circumference: 19 inches (86.57 percentile, which is pretty consistent)

He got one shot and didn't cry during the shot.  But the tears came soon after.  I had taken Baby Girl out of the room to take her urine sample and Baby Boy saw me walk past the door at one point and lost it.  I had to snuggle him and walk around with him to get him to calm down.  He loves his mommy, that one.


Baby Girl:

Weight: 41 lbs (87.15 percentile, which is consistent since she was 2 1/2 years)
Height: 41 inches (77.9 percentile, a large jump from a year ago when she was 57th percentile (37th percentil at 2 years old))

They didn't measure her head, but I can assure you that it's humongous.  That's how we grow them in our house.

Baby Girl had to give a urine sample, which I thought would be horrible, but I successfully collected it without getting a drop on me.  She had her blood pressure taken (it was normal, whatever it was) and her hearing testing.  The urine came back with trace amounts of blood, so we had to get another sample this morning.  Luckily, a good friend was headed to the office with her own kid, so she took the sample so that I didn't have to make the trip during work.  Also, we found that Baby Girl can't hear as well as she should.  She can hear as low as 30 decibels and they'd like her to be able to hear down to 20.  Because she also has her ear tubes still in (over 2 years later), our pediatrician has recommended that we visit our ENT.  I haven't made the appointment yet because we obviously haven't seen any ill-effects (meaning it hasn't negatively impacted her speech AT ALL), but will do so soon.

Molars and talking

Baby Boy's first set of molars (or pre-molars?) has cut through--teeth #9 and #10.  The first was upper left and I *think* the bottom left is now through.  He doesn't let me get in there as readily as Baby Girl did.  I haven't gotten a chance to check on the other side, but based on both of my kids' teething history, it'll be awhile longer before the other side comes through.  My kids are pretty lopsided with teething.

As for talking (just throwing a few short posts into one to make it more worthwhile), Baby Boy still isn't talking.  Everything he says starts with the "g" sound.  He will say "mamamama", but I'm still not entirely sure if he's saying it to me.  If he is, he just started within the last couple of days.  When we sit down to dinner, we pray ("talk to God") before we eat, so now when we get sat down, he'll say "gah" and reach his hands out to hold ours.  It's pretty adorable.  And this morning in the car he saw a truck and pointed at it and I said, "That's a big truck.  BIG truck."  He responded with something like "guh".  He is trying to make some animals noises, but all animals either 1) quack, 2) make an elephant noise or 3) growl (most growl).  I've been trying to get him to moo for months now, but to no avail.  Baby Boy calls The Hubby "guh".  It's a consistent sound, but definitely not a word and nowhere near "Daddy".  I don't know when to worry, honestly.  I talked to a friend who is a SLP and she gave me some tips of things that I can do to help him verbalize, so I've been making an effort.  I'm sure the pediatrician will ask at his 15 month appointment on the 31st, so I'm starting to get a little anxious because of that.  He absolutely understands us, though, and is really good at communicating without actually using words between pointing, some sign language, and grunting.  I'm sure he'll get there and I'm doing a better job than normal not freaking out.

No bottles

I started to post this on a message board I'm a part of and then realized that there really isn't anything for them to respond to and I'm not sure that most of them would care.  So I'm posting a quick post here :)
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With Baby Girl, moving to a sippy wasn't a big deal and was honestly not something we tackled--the sitter did.  And now with Baby Boy it also hasn't been a huge deal--he doesn't get bottles at home, so the most he gets in a day is now 2 (from the sitter).  He didn't really want to drink BM from a sippy yet even though he drinks water from one at home, and we were fine with it.  We use Drop-Ins, so the sitter handles cleaning the nipples and it's no skin off our back and is honestly a pretty minimal expense.

But yesterday he drank all of the BM that I sent for him (about 6 oz) out of a sippy cup.  Woohoo!  Now I don't have to tell the pediatrician at the end of the month that he still takes a bottle (not that it'd be a big deal--I really didn't care and don't think the pediatrician would care much).

Still trying to decide what to do about pumping and my milk supply, though.  I'm still pumping three times per day most days (unless I have a lunch date--then I'll just pump twice).  I'm only getting 6 ounces per day and am officially only using one storage bag daily, which feels really strange.  I really only pump as much as I do because Baby Boy still wants to nurse on the weekends and I want to be able to provide for him.  So we'll see.  I'm always re-evaluating and trying to decide what's best for my baby.

Selling our home

Instead of meaningless apologies and promises to blog more, I'm just going to jump into a new blog post.  Yay!

A short update: Baby Boy's sleep still sucks, Baby Girl is almost four and is acting more like fourteen, I haven't lost any baby weight since just a month or two after Baby Boy was born, we're still pondering whether we're going to have a third baby, and we're working on getting our current house on the market.

Ever since we had Baby Girl, our plan had been to move out of our current home by the time she starts school (which happens in 2014!).  We don't have a problem with the elementary school that she would attend, but the middle and high schools aren't what we're looking for and I hate the idea of having to make her move schools after she's already made friends.  This past year we've been planning on getting the house on the market, but having a baby sort of put a damper on those plans.  Now that we're finally emerging from the Baby Fog and the housing market seems to be looking up, we're going full throttle on getting our house on the market.  Each free weekend and some weeknights we've been making progress.

We've done the following:

• Organized baby clothes
• Moved tubs of things for long-term storage to our garage
• Purged stuffed animals
• Gathered mounds of things for a garage sale
• Organized both of the kids' rooms
• Organized our bedroom
• Cleaned out and organized the office nook in the basement
• Purged some toys and also packed some away for storage
• Completely removed the three large sets of shelves from the basement that contained my surplus (from couponing) and craft projects
• Cleaned out the closet at the bottom of the basement steps to pack away small kitchen appliances to make room for a partial pantry
• Organized the cabinets in the master bathroom

What we still need to do:

• Clean the master bathroom
• Remove the border in the master bathroom
• Hang a new light fixture in master bathroom
• Paint the master bathroom
• Re-caulk the master shower and kids' bathtub
• Clear off the kitchen counters
• Clear off other surfaces (top of fridge, top of TV armoire)
• Paint Baby Boy's ceiling
• Possibly remove furniture from both of the kids' bedrooms
• Re-hang the sliding closet doors in Baby Boy's room
• Remove the hope chest from master bedroom
• Patch holes in the basement ceiling from the removal of fluorescent light fixtures
• Get a storage unit and move things there
• Have our garage sale

That second list still looks long, but it's definitely getting shorter and it's mostly bigger projects--not full days of organizing and purging any more.  I'm feeling very positive about our progress and can't wait to get it all finished.  I feel like we have a lot of momentum right now and I hope we can keep it up over the next month or so, as we're going to try to get it on the market by August 1st.  We're hoping to have a garage sale the weekend of July 13th or 20th to get rid of some stuff--I hope it's successful!

A letter to my little boy on his first birthday

My big man,

I'm sitting here watching you sleep on the video monitor, contemplating everything that has happened in the last year.  I'm not sure if I can adequately express how much happiness you've brought me in the last year.

I'll admit now that I was scared of having a little boy.  After over two years of experience with a little girl, I didn't know if I could handle having a little boy--what was I going to do with a BOY??!!  I'm here to tell you that it's been a fantastic year.  You ARE all boy and get into trouble far more than your sister ever did, but you are also very independent and incredibly happy.  You give a smile to everyone you meet, even when you're nuzzling into Mommy and being shy.

Besides being fearful of you being a boy, I was also fearful that you would sleep as poorly as your sister did. Honey, you fulfilled that fear and then some!  No matter what we've done, up until a week ago, you were still waking at least 3 times per night.  We went through months and months where you were waking 6-8 times per night.  To tell you the truth, your daddy and I have been like zombies for the past year.  Then suddenly about a week ago, you started waking only once or twice per night.  It was wonderful.  You've been waking a bit more the last few nights, but I think that can be attributed to late bedtimes, less napping, and being completely off your schedule because of celebrations and things.  We'll get back into a routine tomorrow and hopefully you'll start sleeping better then.  And you know what?  Even if you don't, I'll still love you like crazy.

I wish I had the words necessary to explain to you how much joy you've brought me over the last twelve months.  I've written and re-written these sentences many times and words just aren't enough.  I really think the best way to explain it is to know that I LOVE sleep and still every time I saw you in the middle of the night, I smiled.  Even though it was causing me a lot of back and hip pain, my favorite place for you to be each night is beside me, nestled with my arm on the top of your head.  You don't sleep in our bed all the time, but those nights that I accidentally fall asleep nursing you and then wake up to your beautiful face are times that I'll cherish always.

I thank God every single night that He chose me to be your mommy.  I apologize for the anxiety that I felt over becoming a mommy again and tell Him thank you for giving me what I really needed--you.

I love you, son.  Happy birthday, my sweet, sweet boy.

Love,
Mommy

11 Months (a little late, as usual)

I just can't keep up with life.  I'm off living it, so I guess that's good, but I still feel like I'm missing SO much.

Baby Boy turned 11 months old last Saturday (ahem...now TWO Saturdays ago...).  I did get his monthly pictures taken, so that's one thing I didn't forget to do!

This eleventh month has been a rough one for the little man.  Before he turned 10 months, he was diagnosed with an ear infection and it has lingered through the entire 11th month.  His sleep has been pretty awful, but we still don't know how much it is impacted by the ear infections and how much is just...him.  But we've been through four rounds of antibiotics now and the infection seems to be gone for now.

The biggest development in the eleventh month is that Baby Boy started walking!  The weekend of March 23rd we took him to my in-laws' house, where he continued taking just a couple of steps at a time.  He'd step, step, fall all day long.  Then Monday evening back at our house I noticed that he'd traveled between two things that he normally would've dropped to his knees to go between.  Yeah, second child syndrome.  No video camera and we weren't even really paying attention.  So then on Tuesday when we picked the kids up from daycare, he walked to us like he'd been doing it all of his life, even traversing the edge of the carpet. And he has been on the go since then!

Baby Boy also sprouted his eighth tooth, so we're finally all even again.  Now we're on the look-out for molars.  Baby Girl got her teeth so late that I have no idea when his will come in.

Baby Boy has a big personality.  He's incredibly sweet to everyone he meets.  He has started being shy and holding his head to the side when he meets someone new.  He wants to be held when meeting new people, but will still give them a big smile from the comfort of Mommy or Daddy's arms.  He's also got a bit of a temper.  If he doesn't get what he wants when he wants it, he lets out a horrific yell.  This isn't fun any time of day.  We probably hear it most while he's in his high chair.  We've found that we can't put him into his high char until we have the food completely ready to eat or he'll start yelling.

Right around 11 months, Baby Boy started doing something really cute.  When he's feeling shy or just flirting (he's done it to me when The Hubby is holding him), he'll tip his head sideways and give this really sweet smile.  If someone is holding him, he'll lay his head on their shoulder.

He's using G, B, M, and D consonants consistently.

He still loves avocado and green beans and all kinds of meat.  He's a really good eater, but a tiny bit pickier than his sister was.  I'm excited to be able to introduce more foods that we've been holding out on because of allergy concerns when he turns a year old!

Sleep...How I Miss Thee

Baby Boy's sleep is bad.  I don't even know how to explain it besides to say that it's really, really bad.

Last night, for instance, looked like this:

6:50: Nurse in his bedroom
7:05: I start walking, singing, shh-ing, bouncing, and swaying
7:20: He falls asleep.  This is a good bedtime.
7:45: He wakes up screaming.  I go to him and am able to get him back to sleep in about 5 minutes.
9:30: I go to bed.
9:35: Baby is awake.  The Hubby goes to him and tries to get him to go back to sleep, but he just turns and points to the door, which he knows leads him out of his bedroom and to ours.
9:40: I nurse Baby Boy.
9:42: He's asleep.  The Hubby and I watch him sleep laying in our bed.  He's restless.
9:50: The Hubby takes the baby back to his room and we both fall asleep.

The rest of the night was a blur, as they typically are.  I'm so exhausted that I don't know what time we're waking or what's happening.  I do know, however, that we were up at least four more times and that Baby Boy stayed in our bed for quite a bit of the night.

I honestly don't know what to do with him.  He won't stay laying in his bed for us to pat/shh him.  He screams loudly enough to wake his sister.  I'm NOT comfortable with letting him cry. We did it once and when he woke up 45 minutes later, he screamed like I'd never heard him scream, terrified.

I'm not necessarily looking for solutions--just to document this part of our life.  If not for sleep troubles, Baby Boy is a sweet, happy little man.  The problem is, during those same waking hours, his father am I are a mess.  We're short-tempered, drowsy, and can't focus on anything.  We have another child to care for and I'm starting to realize that we aren't being the best parents we can be for either of our children.  Once Baby Boy is one, I'll feel a little more ready to start being more forceful with night weaning.  I will be okay if he still wakes once (or even twice!) per night to eat, but four to five times per night is really getting old.  Until then, we roll with it...

Thank You, God

Every night The Hubby, Baby Girl, and I say a prayer before Baby Girl goes to bed.  It's pretty informal and we all trade off thanking God for things or asking for help or we even ask God for forgiveness.  Baby Girl typically says that she can't think of anything, which leads to a bit of a lecture from us about how important it is to be grateful for the things that make us happy.  We make her come up with at least one thing to thank God for and after much prodding from us, she'll say something (usually something that we've prompted her with, like, "Did it make you happy to make cookies with mommy today?").  I'm hoping someday this will all click and she will start to come up with things on her own.

This morning I realized that the things we've been saying have actually sunken in, at least a little.

We were in the car on the way to the sitter in driving, freezing rain.  I was having a hard time seeing and the car was fairly quiet.  Baby Girl had been complaining that she couldn't see out her window because it was foggy, when she realized that she could just rub the window with her hand and be able to see out of it.  She enjoyed doing that each time it would fog up.

A few minutes later, I heard her little voice: "Thank you God, for making it rain today so that I can wipe off the fog."

Such a sweet, little thing for her to say thank you for, but I love that she felt driven to say something right then, without any prompting from us.

Update on Baby Girl

Baby Girl is back at the sitter today.  I'm not exhaling yet because I have no idea what sort of incubation period we're looking at, so I don't know that it won't hit the rest of our family.  But at least she's back to (almost) normal.  She was acting out a bit yesterday, so we're going to get back to being more strict with her once she's feeling better.

Man, that was scary.  She just kept vomiting everything she took in.  I'm really lucky that she was such a trooper.  She was pretty happy for most of the time and she was such a big girl, doing most of her getting sick in the actual toilet.  I know she was tired of getting sick by the last day of it, but I can't say that I blame her.

Words can't express how happy I am that she's feeling better.  What an awful, yucky sickness.

And now I resume crossing my fingers that The Hubby, Baby Boy, and I don't get it.  If we don't, then this weekend will be consumed with a DEEP cleaning of our house.  I've already gone through and done a lot of cleaning and The Hubby has done A LOT of laundry, but I'm going to throw all linens, towels, and blankets into the washing machine, wipe down everything, clean all dishes and silverware that are sitting around....our house will be cleaner by Sunday than it has been in the 3.5 years since Baby Girl was born!

And it starts...

All winter long I've been reading on Facebook, message boards, and email about friends and their kids who have been stricken by stomach bugs.  Most of the kids at the sitter have gone down with a stomach bug of some kind.  I've said prayers.  I've been anxious, which is a major understatement.  I've gotten nauseous myself.  And we've made it most of the winter.

Baby Boy had a small stomach bug on Christmas Day--he got sick a few times within a couple of hours and then that was it.  He also had a bug almost 3 weeks ago--again, he got sick some overnight, but was fine the next day.  He continued with some diarrhea, but I think (thought?) that it was caused by the antibiotic he was on for his double ear infection.  It really wasn't a huge deal with him...in hindsight, of course.  In the moment, it felt like the end of the world.

(If you don't want a play-by-play of sickness, just skip the rest of this post.  I would if I weren't the one writing it because just reading posts by other people about stomach bugs makes me anxious and feel like I'm going to catch it via the interwebs.  You've been warned.)

However.  Now Baby Girl is sick.  She woke up vomiting overnight Friday night and came into our room.  The Hubby took her to the living room where they hung out and she threw up the rest of the night.  She tried eating some applesauce and it came right back up, which was the last time she got sick on Saturday morning at 8 a.m.  She was low-energy for the rest of the day while I entertained Baby Boy in the basement and running errands, then she ate some macaroni and cheese for dinner Saturday night and seemed to feel better....at which time, The Hubby noticed that she had a fever.

Her temperature stayed around 102 for the rest of Sunday, but besides a two-and-a-half hour nap on the couch 10:30-1, she acted relatively normally.  We went outside and enjoyed the beautiful weather for a couple of hours and you'd never know she was running a fever.  Her temp was down to a little over 100 by bedtime that night and she'd eaten a good dinner, so we figured she'd be feeling good this morning (Monday).

Baby Girl woke up feeling good.  She had no fever and ate two bowls of cereal.  Everything seemed normal until naptime.

I was downstairs enjoying a little bit of alone time.  I'd gotten Baby Boy to sleep and Baby Girl was laying quietly in her bed.  The fact that she didn't fall asleep seemed like a good sign to me.  Then I heard her pitter patter to the bathroom and heard her ask me to come wipe her tushy.  I knew immediately that she had diarrhea.  As soon as I got her back to bed, her brother woke up.  She was back in the bathroom a few minutes later, at which time I told her to just get on up.  She still seemed fine.  She and her brother played with their train table and some other toys for awhile.  She kept coughing and running to the bathroom, thinking that she was going to "spit up", but nothing happened.

And then it did happen.  She got sick again.  I called The Hubby and asked him to come home from work.  After she got sick, she wanted a hard-boiled egg, which only Daddy can make, so he cooked her one when he got home.  She seemed to be feeling fine.  However, about five minutes after eating the egg, it came right back up.  And again.

So now we wait.  We wait to see who else will get it and when.  We wait to see how long it takes Baby Girl to recover.  We wait to see how long this goes on.  We wait to see whether we can keep the baby healthy.  We wait....

My Favorite Time of Night

Every evening after dinner, we enter my favorite time of night.  The Hubby gets Baby Boy into his jammies and the four of us snuggle up on the couch together with only a couple of lamps lit.  We read a couple of books, then Baby Boy gives his daddy and sister hugs.  I pick him up and he immediately starts to wave at The Hubby and Baby Girl.  We walk to the bottom of the steps and turn around to look at them and blow them kisses.  Baby Boy currently just makes kissy faces and doesn't do the hand part, but it's still adorable.  Then he starts to wave some more and he and I head upstairs to my dark bedroom.  I sit in my bed, holding him, and he nurses in the dark.  This all started because he was so distracted when nursing downstairs with the TV on (my chosen nursing location for Baby Girl) and I was anxious about sitting in silence, with no TV, no electronics, nothing but my baby and my thoughts.

Instead, it's turned into my favorite part of the night.  I spend that time talking to God and memorizing the feeling of having my baby in my arms.  I know from experience that our nursing relationship will end all too soon and I'll miss it.  So for now I'm going to take the time to really enjoy it, to think about it and nothing else.

10 Month Update

I'm suffering from a MAJOR case of the winter-time blah.  I can't get motivated to do much of anything, but know I'll kick myself someday when I look back on this blog and don't have an update on Baby Boy's 10th month, especially because it seems like SO MUCH has happened!

It's amazing that in ten months he can go from this little snuggly blob to a cruising, stepping, waving, babbling, growling little boy with opinions all his own.

Teeth: Over a month after cutting his fifth tooth, tooth number six appeared 2/24.  And just days later (2/27), so did tooth number seven, the bottom left (2nd one over).  The kid is determined to be lopsided!

Mobility: Baby Boy is everywhere and into everything.  He's pulling up and cruising on anything that he can.  On February 20th, he took a single step after standing all by himself for awhile.  And then he promptly dropped to his knees and crawled the rest of the way.  He'll walk quickly while holding fingers, stands by himself, and on March 3rd stood up in the middle of the room without pushing up on something.  So we've got all of the pieces in place--we'll see how long it takes him to actually walk.  He *can* climb stairs, but we don't let him yet!

Clothes: Baby Boy is still pretty solidly in size 6-9/9 month clothes.  He has one pair of jammies that is size 6 months, but there are also plenty of 6-9/9 month clothes that are getting too small.  I'd guess we'll move up a size in the next month.

Communication: Baby Boy knows the signs for "more" and "all done".  He uses "more" to signal that he wants something to eat and has started to sign it while he's still eating.  He also signs "more" while he's nursing now, too, which is sort of hilarious.  He only signs "all done" when we say it.  Sometimes I think he's trying to tell us that he's done, but then he'll quickly sign more again and eat more.  And sometimes we think he's waving when he's signing or vice versa.

He is also using quite a few consonants now--g, b, and m are his most common.  He says "mom mom mom" both while pointing at me (also a new development) but also when he's getting into his high chair, as if he's saying "more" or "yum".  He also says something that sounds sort of like "all done"--it has two syllables, at least :)

Nutrition: We are still nursing here, day and night.  I don't think he would notice too much if I stopped offering during the day, but I'll keep offering until he's a year old, then we'll take it from there.  He does still NEED IT SO BAD overnight, though.  Last night, The Hubby went to Baby Boy when he woke up at 9:30 and Baby Boy put his head down on The Hubby's shoulder, then sat up straight and pointed at the door.  He knew where to go to get the good stuff, apparently.  My pumping production has decreased quite a bit and I'm struggling to keep up with him, but his demand has reduced markedly also and is easily appeased by solids.

Speaking of solids, Baby Boy is a pretty big fan of eating.  He growls and makes all sort of crazy noises when you put him in his high chair and don't have food for him RIGHT NOW.  When I'm cooking, he'll crawl into the kitchen and start smacking his lips at me.  He LOVED having hot dogs and likes it whenever he gets food off of someone else's plate.  He love carbs (pancakes, especially), avocados, pasta, and some veggies.  He'll eat any fruit you give him, so far.

Sleep: I'm honestly fairly embarrassed to even post about his sleep.  At over 10 months old, my baby is still waking about 4 times per night.  I'm exhausted.  He wants to eat almost every time he wakes up if it's been at least two hours since he last ate.  I'd thought that we'd figured out that he was going to bed too late and that was why he was waking.  We started eating super-quick meals, crock pot meals, doing anything we could to get him to bed earlier.  And he's still waking up.  It isn't the 4-8 times per night that it was, but it's still not good.  The Hubby, Baby Boy, and I are all exhausted and running on fumes every single day.  Happily, Baby Boy is still pleasant and happy almost all the time, even being short on sleep.  He sleeps best in our bed, so there are nights when I nurse him to sleep and he just stays in our bed for a few hours.  Unfortunately, The Hubby and I are then incredibly sore the following day after laying in one position all night, trying our hardest not to roll over on the baby.

Likes: Avocado, screaming, his sister, throwing things, pushing buttons, being on the go, putting things into other things, playing Godzilla and knocking down block towers, anything his sister is doing, trying to throw himself down the stairs, unrolling toilet paper, getting mommy's cookbooks, opening cabinets and playing with the contents, baths in the sink, playing in close proximity to the other daycare kids, music, peek-a-boo, looking at books

Dislikes: Staying asleep, baby gates, being confined, having to wait (especially for food), laying still for diaper changes, getting buckled into his car seat
---
Baby Boy--

For ten months, you've been providing me with happiness that I didn't know possible.  You may not sleep, but you honestly make up for it by being so happy all of the time.  The smile you give me when your daddy brings you into my bedroom makes my annoyance over being awake AGAIN dissolve.

Your favorite person in the world is your sister.  Everything she does fascinates you.  You two play together incredibly well.  She can be a little rough, but I think you like it.  It is awfully hard to scold her for being so rough with you when you're belly laughing at her.

Some days it feels like you were just born, but more days it seems like you've been a part of our family forever.  Your sister doesn't remember life without you.  I had fears of not being able to love you as much as I love your sister, but my heart has grown like The Grinch's to give me the ability to love you both an incredible amount.

I love you, my beautiful little man.
Mommy

Strong

I don't want my daughter to see my (immensely huge) insecurities, at least not for awhile.  I want to be her superhero.  I also don't want to impose them on her.  Ever.  I want her to be confident, to know that she's beautiful, both inside and out.  I don't want her to think that she needs to wear makeup, but I want her to have the confidence to do it if she wants when the time comes.  I want her to take pride in her body and to honor it as the temple that it is.  I want her to look at other people and love them, no matter what they look like.

So when she was putting on some pants and I told her that she had my thighs, I caught my breath.  I wasn't able to stop the words as they spilled out of my mouth.  The pants fit her fine everywhere but in her thighs, a problem that I've been plagued with for as long as I can remember.  Thin (for me) or heavy, I've always carried extra weight in my thighs and struggled to find pants that fit right.

Those beautiful brown eyes looked at me and asked what I'd said.  I told her that she had her mommy's thighs.  I took a deep breath and swallowed the words that were on the tip of my tongue, cursing those thighs, and instead supplied her with a word that I hoped wouldn't sound too much like a lie.  Strong.  Those thighs are strong.  They help us run fast.  They help us lift things.  They're strong, baby.  We are strong.

Mid-Month Developments

I started to record some things that Baby Boy was doing mid-month, but never got around to publishing it.  So here's my (very short) list:

1/6: Started babbling using the "g" sound.  Then mid-week (around the 9th) started babbling using the "b" sound
1/13: Started purposefully waving at his Papaw (my dad).  He still doesn't wave consistently, but will do it sometimes.  I think he just needed the right person to wave at :)

My Nine Month Old Little Man

We went to the doctor on Baby Boy's actual nine month birthday and found out that he's been decreasing in percentile both for height and weight, much like his sister did around this age.  His statistics:

Height: 27 1/4" (11th percentile)
Weight: 18 lbs 9 oz (27th percentile)
Head: 87th percentile

At nine months, Baby Boy is:

• Wearing 6-9/9 month size clothing and doesn't seem to be in a hurry to outgrow any of it
• Wearing size 3 diapers (and has been for months)
• Pulling up on EVERYTHING
• Cruising some
• Crawling VERY quickly
• Signing "more"
• Clapping
• Playing with his sister
• Babbling with lots of "g" sounds.  I actually heard him say "goo goo gah gah" the other day, which made me laugh.  "Guck" is his favorite noise right now.
• Loving most foods.  His favorite is avocado and also love beans, pancakes, whole green beans, carrots, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, Cheerios (although not as much as his sister), Puffs, applesauce, peaches, and pears.  He's even enjoyed the bits of shredded chicken that I've given him.  He liked the bite of banana that I gave him, but then had a painful poop and I don't know if they're related, so I'm nervous about giving him more banana.
• Hating peas.  That's the only food that he's shown a true distaste for.  
• Idolizing his big sister.  He wants to be doing anything that she's doing and be anywhere that she is.  He giggles when he sees her and loves all of the attention that she gives him.
• Working on cutting tooth #6.  Tooth #5 broke through  January 19th (upper right) and we thought that the upper left would be close behind, but his teething symptoms have all but disappeared.
• Still sleeping like crap.  Last night was a really good night and he was up 4 times.  Most nights it's closer to 8--3 times before we go to bed and then up every 1 to 1 1/2 hours unless we let him sleep in our bed after nursing.  He demands to nurse each time that he wakes after about 10:00, too, so that's fun. (Yes, that was sarcasm)
• Curious about everything.  He loves to get into a basket that I keep on the bottom shelf of a bookcase that holds some loose recipes.  He starts to crawl toward it, then looks up at me, knowing he shouldn't get it.  Or he'll crawl toward it and I'll say his name and he immediately looks at me and grins.  Sometimes I can distract him, but most of the time the basket just gets moved. 
• Still nursing 4-5 times during the day and then many times overnight.  If he's distracted enough or enjoying his table food enough (which he does), he doesn't demand three daytime feedings, which used to be at 10, 1, and 4 with a morning and bedtime nursing session as well.  
• Giving KISSES.  He will grab your face and lean in with a wide open, drooly mouth and put it inside your lips.  If you cut it off too early for him, he'll lean around to try to get you again!
• Growling when he's frustrated.  It's hilarious, honestly.  If he's out of food and really wants more, he'll growl at you.  He also growls when he gets frustrated, especially because he can't move quickly enough to do what he wants to do.

I'm trying to get him more interested in looking at books, rather than just chewing on them or throwing them around.  It's hard to read to both kids when all he wants to do is chew on it and won't accept a replacement.

In general, Baby Boy is an absolute joy.  He is happy and funny already.  He is incredibly curious and wants to be involved in anything that's happening around him, but can also be pretty independent and entertain himself.  The joy that he brings to my life is more than I ever could have imagined.  I enjoy almost every moment with him (I would be lying if I said every moment...) and am actually disappointed when I have to put him to bed for the night or put him down for a nap because I miss him and his big smile.

Eight months old

Am I seriously writing a post for my eight month old baby?  This little man continues to exhaust me, but he makes me happier than I ever could have imagined.  He is funny and so full of personality.  He has a bit of a temper when he's tired or doesn't get what he wants right away, but is generally very happy.  He's independent in the sense that he will play by himself, even now that he's started to experience separation anxiety.  As I write, he's on the floor by himself and has been playing with some toys, putting small pieces of plastic and paper into his mouth cleaning my floor, and is now chewing on a book.  His big sister never played by herself when we wanted her to.

In the last week we've seen Baby Boy start to pull up on everything he can find--his sister's train table, chairs, fingers, and pants and surprisingly he can get down okay, too.  He's gotten faster and faster with his crawling and is finally playing with his sister by chasing her around.  Around seven months old he started banging together everything he grabbed and just recently that turned into clapping.  He's also started picking up things and holding his arm up in the air--this has only ended in him dropping something on his head once...so far.

We started giving Baby Boy vegetables around 6.5 months (maybe closer to 7) and he's now been through all of the veggie purees that we'll give him (sweet potatoes, squash, carrots, green beans, and peas) and is also eating finger foods.  Just today he had Cheerios after eating puffs.  He's also fed himself mashed potatoes, which was messy, but he loved it.  We've also been giving him pasta, green beans and peas whole and letting him feed himself.  It's really nice when he can feed himself parts of dinner instead of him eating solely purees so that we can eat our dinner.  The only thing that he didn't love was green bean puree, but seems to eat whole green beans just fine, so we'll stick with that.  Within the next few days we'll start him on fruit and pray that he doesn't stop eating his veggies.  I'm also going to give him some beans that we're having for dinner this week.

Baby Boy has been sporadically using consonants when he babbles, but we haven't heard it a ton yet.

He still loves Itsy Bitsy Spider and I think he's going to be our music lover.  Baby Girl knows song lyrics really well, but Baby Boy enjoys pretty much any music you play for him.

He still has just four teeth, but has been chewing on EVERYTHING over the last week or so.  I don't think I've seen a child put so much into their mouth.  When you snuggle him he'll bite on your shirt.  Whatever he's playing with goes directly into his mouth.  We can't really read him books because he just wants to eat them.

His sleep sucks.  Serious suckage.  I asked The Hubby how many times he thinks the baby was awake last night and we were both pleased to determine that it was only three times.  Let me say it again: ONLY THREE TIMES.  At 8 months old.  Obviously our standards have been sufficiently lowered.

Statistics:
6-9 or 9 month size clothes
Size 3 diapers
No shoes yet, but when I held a pair of size 5s up to his feet, they were only maybe a size too big
More hair than his sister had at a year old :)

Likes:
Chewing, remote controls, facing outward, eating finger foods, music, anything his sister is doing, brooms, nursing, sleeping in bed with mommy and daddy so he can nurse all night long, being upright, getting into everything that he shouldn't be touching, Christmas ornaments

Dislikes:
Going to sleep, being ignored, being tired, being hungry, having his diaper changed (or anything that requires him to hold still), waiting, his car seat

7 months development, cont.

So I was hanging out with my boy and realizing that there were things I'd wanted to mention that I didn't.

Right around 7 months we switched to 6-9 month size clothing and you know what? It fit really well. The 3-6 wasn't ridiculously small, but I had so much 6-9 month stuff with long sleeves that the change in seasons necessitated the shift. I'm trying to decide if the sizes are really close or if he had a growth spurt. Probably a little of both.

In the last few days we started giving Baby Boy whole canned green beans. I wanted him to start with something pretty mush-able, so even though I don't love canned veggies, that's what we decided on. He didn't like them at first, but after just 3 nights, his pincer grasp is developing nicely and he actually reaches for them. We still give him purées in the evening and are trying to figure out when to work in more food throughout the day.

Baby Boy is solidly in size 3 diapers. We made the switch a couple of months ago. I have a feeling hell be in them for a long time.

Around 6.5 months, Baby Boy became proficient at getting himself from a crawling position to sitting upright. He can now get to sitting from his back, something I don't think I can do :)

Now I'm going to save this entry as a draft to make sure I'm not forgetting something....

...and I remembered something else :)

Right around 7 months Baby Boy started to bang everything together.  He picks up blocks and bangs them together, tonight he picked up a book and tried to bang the chair with it.

And now I think I need to be done or I'm going to be logging things here that belong in an 8 month post!

7 Month Developments

At seven months old, my little man is really starting to show his personality.  He's really a happy kid almost all of the time, but will let you know when he's displeased, like when he's being put into his car seat.  He doesn't cry, but will squirm and growl at you.  He also uses his growling for when he's excited sometimes.  Baby Boy prefers to be held facing away from you so he can see the world around you and when he gets excited (like when the sitter's kitty comes into the room), his arms and legs start moving everywhere all at once!

As reported a few weeks ago, teeth #3 and #4 (top middle) came through in mid-November.  You can definitely see them both now and it's really changing the way he looks.  He's still adorable, but it makes him look more like a little boy than like a baby.  I'm not ready to lose the little baby parts of him!

Over the last month, Baby Boy has gradually been doing more crawling.  He was a proficient army crawler, but in the last few days has really started to crawl on all fours and will go all the way across the room.  He still has moments where traditional crawling isn't fast enough for him, so he'll growl, drop to his belly and kick and wiggle, then drag himself the rest of the way across the room.

Baby Boy's favorite things are: his sister, Itsy Bitsy Spider, mommy, nursing, cords (computer cords, vacuum cleaner cords, etc.), paper to eat, pureed food, splashing in the bath

Baby Boy's least favorite things are: laying still for diaper changes, getting strapped into his carseat, sleep

I mentioned the growling, but Baby Boy also expresses himself by blowing raspberries all over the place.  He can blow raspberries for the entire car ride to or from the sitter's house, which is close to 20 minutes long.  If he's not blowing raspberries, he's shrieking happy shrieks.  We call it his pterodactyl call.

Sleep is a struggle.  I still mean to do an entire blog post about how horrific his sleep is.  Let's just say that at this point he's still waking at least 4 times per night.  And not calmed without nursing.  But at least he grins at me when The Hubby brings him into our bedroom....

Lastly, just after turning 7 months old Baby Boy started trying to pull up.  The first time I saw it, I came into the room to find him with his hands on the edge of the toy box, up on his knees.  Unfortunately, our floor is laminate and I was afraid he'd slip in his jammies, so I got him down from there.  I don't think he's attempted that since then.  However, he has pulled up on The Hubby--he'll crawl over to him, crawl onto The Hubby's belly, and pull himself to standing while leaning on The Hubby's belly.  He's done it multiple times.  Just this morning I found him trying to pull up on his bathtub, only to have it topple over because it isn't very heavy.

Crazy baby...will you stop trying to grow up so fast?

Making Memories

I've gotten really bogged down in the time and energy it takes to be a parent to more than one kid.  It's been a frustrating, exhausting six months.  But the last two evenings (ahem...over a month ago...) I had experiences with my big girl that helped me remember why I enjoy being a mom.

On Wednesday night (10/17/12) after I nursed Baby Boy and put him to bed, I asked Baby Girl if she wanted to go take a walk with me.  It was only about 7:20 and she'd been heading to bed around 7:40.  She also took a nap at the sitter that day, so I knew she'd be okay staying up a bit later.  It was gorgeous outside (highs near 80 in late October in Ohio just don't happen very often).  She was really excited and got her Crocs on in record time.

We took a stroll up the sidewalk until we heard a bug chirping.  We stopped to look for it and finally found it and just stood, watching, for a couple of minutes.  I explained how the cricket made its noise and she could see its legs twitching.  We walked down the sidewalk, hand in hand, talking about mundane things.  She's getting bigger and I know soon she isn't going to want to hold mommy's hand all the time.  We got down the block and turned back, pausing at our cricket to see whether it was still there.  It was.

When we got back to our house, we sat in the driveway and looked at the stars.  She doesn't get to stay awake long enough to see nighttime very often, so she hasn't had much experience in stargazing.  We talked about the shapes up in the stars and just snuggled on the ground.  It felt so good to hold her close to me and to enjoy being outside in the crisp evening air.  I want to remember what her warm skin felt like against mine and how she felt snuggled in my lap forever.

25 Weeks

At 25 weeks (10/22), I wrote up a quick blurb about what Baby Boy was doing.  Here are the things on my list:

Sitting
Crawling
More teeth?
Itsy Bitsy Spider
Sleep Issues
Drum
---
Expounding upon the list (11/21):

Sitting: He started sitting like a champ right around this time.
Crawling: He can get around at will, but still no traditional crawling
More teeth?: We're pretty sure there are more teeth coming (they ended up poking through 11/16 and 11/19)
Itsy Bitsy Spider: This is the craziest thing.  Baby Boy is instantly calmed by The Itsy Bitsy Spider.  If he's fussy, he will stop and stare at your hands and start his wiggling and giggling.  I don't understand it, but you'd better bet that I use the hell out of it.
Sleep Issues: I think it was at this point that he started waking 4-7 times per night.  It was ugly.  He only wanted Mommy, too.  Ugh.
Drum: When Grandma and Pops visited Gatlinburg, they brought Baby Girl back a little drum like Native Americans use.  Well, my dad discovered that Baby Boy liked to put it into his mouth when he was teething. He'd put one side into his mouth and we beat the other side with the mallet to make it vibrate on his gums.  It looks hilarious and we end up with a ton of drool down the side of the drum, but it makes him happy :)

6 Months (and 3 weeks...)

Baby Boy,

I don't know if it's possible for me to write even a sentence to you without crying.  My heart swells with joy and love whenever I think of you.  When I see your beautiful smile (which you give me whenever you see me), I want to pick you up and snuggle you like crazy.  And that, of course, would make you squirm and whine because you're just not a snuggler.  Thank God for your sister because I can't imagine not having at least one kid who snuggles!

------
I wrote that first part one day after you turned 6 months old and am just now, when you're 6 months and 3 weeks old (11/21/12), getting back around to revisiting this blog post.

What I really want to say, Little Man, is that you are loved.  You are SO loved.  And I haven't been blogging because I've been soaking up the essence of YOU.  You make me happy all the time.  Your smile lights up the room and my heart.  You delight in the smallest things like playing with a sock or seeing twitching fingers, ready to get you.  You love to squeal and wiggle and I could play with you and just BE with you all day every single day.

So while I'm not writing a lot, it's because I'm spending time with you.  I love being your mommy and if I could guarantee that every baby I ever have could be just like you, I'd have another ten.

Love,
Mommy

6 Month Pediatrician Appointment

I have a sappy post to write and some updates about Baby Boy's development as well as a post about Baby Girl....but this is an easy post to write, so I'm going to knock it out while my queries are running.

Stats:

16 lbs 14 oz (38th percentile)
26 inches long (25th percentile)
44 cm (86th percentile)

My chunky monkey little man has quickly become a not-so-big little boy (except his head...which would explain the 3rd degree tear...).  The pediatrician doesn't have any concerns because both his weight and height have a downward trend (in percentile, not the actual height or weight!), but I have a hard time not worrying, especially since until last Saturday I was his only source of nourishment.  I thought he was always going to be huge, but that doesn't seem to be the case.

The doctor was happy with his development and said he was head of schedule for large motor since he's already army-crawling.  He also said that he doesn't expect babies to start using consonants until about seven months, which he's started to do a bit.  It always makes me feel happy when my kids are head of schedule for developmental milestones, even though I have very little to do with it.

At the appointment, Baby Girl also was getting her flu shot.  We had talked through what would happen and were reviewing it before the nurse came in.  The following conversation ensued:


Me: They're going to give you a little pinch, then put a bandage on it to help it feel better.
Baby Girl: Why does it need to feel better?  It won't hurt.
Me: You're right.  The bandage helps keep the medicine in your body.
Baby Girl: How does the medicine get in my body?  I have skin.
Me: Yep, but the shot makes a little tiny hole to help the medicine get inside.
Baby Girl: ......(you can see the wheels turning).....Will I have to wear the bandage forever?
Me: No, the skin closes up after a little bit of time.


The nurse gave her her shot and she just watched and was happy to get her star-shaped bandage (like below):

Next it was time for Baby Boy to get his shots.  We'd talked to the doctor about what vaccinations he needed at this appointment and the pediatrician was going to give him 4 injections (Hepatitis B, flu shot, TDAP (something like that, at least), and leading cause of meningitis) plus an oral vaccination for rotovirus.  I asked if there was anything we could delay for the month until we come back for his second flu shot and he said that the Hepatitis B could be delayed, so we did 3 shots plus the oral vaccination, then at the end of November need to go back for a second flu shot and the Hepatitis B shot.  Blech.

His sister held onto his arm while I held his hands and looked at his face.  I felt awful for him when his head turned bright red and he was screaming, but he stopped crying pretty quickly after I picked him up.  He whimpered a little, but was generally okay.  I took Baby Girl for her sticker (she chose Mickey Mouse) while The Hubby got Baby Boy dressed.  I then nursed Baby Boy in the car in the parking lot of the pediatrician's office because, as expected, he passed out on the way to the sitter.  We dropped off the kids and went to work.

Mobility

Baby Boy is trying SO hard to be mobile.  He lays on his belly and alternates between pushing up on his arms and laying on his belly flailing his arms and legs.  His preferred method of communication recently has been growling, so when he gets frustrated, that's what he starts to do.  The funny part is that he'll have a toy, then push it just out of his reach and get mad that he can't play with it anymore.  In the last couple of days, though, he's been able to get his right leg bent and push off with it.  He moves a bit crooked, of course, but he's getting there.  The sitter also told us that he's been doing downward-facing dog some, forming an upside-down V with his hands and feet on the ground.  He's SO close.  Even now, we can't put him on the floor and expect him to stay there.  He's a rolling and spinning fool.  He hasn't quite figured out that he could barrel roll to move across the floor, but does it inadvertently anyway.  The place he most commonly rolls, though, is in bed.  We put him down awake and then go downstairs to look at the video monitor to watch the show.  He rolls and spins and does a few laps of his crib until he just falls asleep.  It's so fun to watch!

I guess that means it's time to start thinking about baby proofing since I have a feeling he's going to be into everything.  The bookcase that has been in the living room since before Baby Girl was born might need to be anchored and/or emptied altogether.  It houses my cookbooks, so it wouldn't be a huge deal if it got emptied, but I don't want him to pull up on it.  Baby Girl left it alone in general and I have a feeling that Baby Boy is going to be an entirely different ballgame.  Here we go...

Old Friend

You know that old friend that you've got?  The one that was your BFF, maybe in high school or maybe college.  She knew everything about you.  And then life happened and you drifted apart.  You didn't make time for each other anymore.  Maybe you moved to separate states or even countries.  You saw each other's posts on Facebook, but didn't really know much about your friend's everyday life.  And then that friend comes to town for a visit.  While you're comfortable, you aren't sure what to talk about.

Do you tell her about how your parents are doing, how your work is going?  Or do you tell her about your crazy anxiety about having two kids, a job, a husband, a house, managing your finances, and still trying to foster your own relationship with yourself?

Do you talk about people that you used to know and what they're doing now?  Or do you admit to her everything you're struggling with, from your own weight issues to focusing at work to your lack of confidence because apparently you don't make children that know how to sleep?

I tend to try to do the former.  To talk about surface things.  Easy things.  To not get into the deep stuff, even though you really need to confess it all to that person that used to be your main confidante.

And when you start talking regularly again, how do you get to the place where you talk about The Real Stuff?  You don't want to jump right in.  You want to tiptoe, sticking one toe in the water, testing the waters to see if you can still relate to each other, to see if that friend can handle your new reality.

This blog has become that old friend.  I want to foster a relationship again, but I'm not sure how.  I'm going to try, but forgive me if I can't take the plunge just yet back to the place where we once were.