Christmas 2014 - Days 1 and 2

In an effort to recapture my blogging mojo and also to keep track of memories. I'm going to try blogging every day (or close to it) to try to log the ways we celebrated Christmas each day. The posts may not be long or eloquent, but the goal is to capture memories and get back into the habit.

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We started our Advent calendar on December 1st. The gift for that night was an ornament for each kid--Elsa (from Frozen) for Baby Girl and Jake (of Jake and the Neverland Pirates) for Baby Boy. They were both incredibly excited and loved hanging them on the tree that we'd gotten and decorated the day prior. 

December 2nd is a Tuesday, which means it's Jump Bunch night. That means a quick dinner, then The Hubby and Baby Boy were off to his class. During that time, I cleaned up from dinner and then Baby Girl and I hung up a garland on our bannister. It was all knotted and tangled by the end, but we had fun with it. I tossed it to her, making her giggle, we pulled the fake garland through the spindles on the bannister, sending the needles everywhere. That meant that we got the vacuum out after we were done and she loved helping me clean up.

The Advent calendar gift tonight was a book of the Charlie Brown Christmas. Because of how late it was, we didn't get to read it, but I anticipate we'll read it tomorrow night!

A moment to remember

I've wanted to blog about all the changes in our lives lately--my weight loss (37ish pounds from late February to today so far!), Baby Girl starting kindergarten, Baby Girl's new daycare, Baby Boy's potty-training (done!), Baby Boy's transition to the sitter without Baby Girl, and maybe a few more I'm missing--but something happened tonight that, while small, was so wonderful that I need to record it.

We're at my in-laws' house tonight, after being up late last night watching Frozen in The 'Shoe. Baby Boy napped in the car and Baby Girl didn't nap at all. She isn't napping during the week since she's in kindergarten, so it isn't a huge deal. By bedtime, however, Baby Girl was a Mess. She cried and sobbed when we told her that she and her brother were going to share a bedroom. We still don't know why she was so upset, but it went on for at least 15 minutes. During all of her Mess Baby Boy was behaving incredibly well. He laid on his cot and snuggled his Olaf and tried to fall asleep. The Hubby and I had lost patience with it and I'd told her that she needed to calm down or she'd be sleeping in the basement. She did calm down mostly, then was ramping up again when I got up and asked her to get up. She calmed herself fairly quickly after begging me not to make her go and I was so exasperated that I told them I'd be back and I needed a drink of water. As I closed the door, I heard Baby Boy whining a bit about me closing the door (I think), but just moved on. I got my drink of water, made a frustrated comment to The Hubby and his parents, and went toward the door again. I heard nothing. I stood outside the door for another minute, still hearing nothing, and then opened the door and peeked in at them. Their elephant nightlight was off and they were both completely still. 

Let's rewind to talk about why this is a miracle. You see, every night I sit in Baby Boy's bedroom for 30-60 minutes, waiting for him to fall asleep. I just sit in the chair and typically play on the iPad. So it always takes him a very long time to wind down and actually fall asleep. For him to wind down enough to fall asleep within about 3 minutes is truly miraculous. And she'd been so wound up, begging to snuggle with me, begging to touch me, begging me to stay right by her and just generally freaking out, that I thought my leaving would make them both hysterical.

I went back to the family room, amazed that they were both settled down. We sat and watched football for a few hours before Baby Boy woke up whimpering. I went to him, had him lay back down, and was rubbing his back to help him fall back asleep when I saw a small stuffed animal beside him. He'd only had Olaf in his cot when I left him. Then I realized what it was. It was Surgery Bear, Baby Girl's very favorite stuffed animal, one that's been with her for years. Even through her hysteria, she was so kind and caring to her brother and the fact that he was upset that she gave up her favorite stuffed animal so he could relax and fall asleep himself. My heart melted like it hasn't in a long time.

I'm going to do my best to remember that as we deal with the behavior and emotional issues that we've been struggling with as we transition to our new normal. Deep down, behind the irrational crying and screaming, she's the same little girl I know and love dearly.

Heard from the backseat

A little two year old voice:

"Hey met you, hey crazy, number, call maybe, bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad"

(See "Call Me Maybe" by Carly Rae Jepsen)

I can sleep when he's older

Over the last few days and weeks, Baby Boy has been making some major steps in growing up. It's happening quickly and has completely caught me off-guard. He's consistently staying dry all day and has starting telling us when he needs to go potty again. He's been putting himself to sleep. He's been sleeping all night. He's been doing many things by himself ("Me do it"). He's speaking much more clearly (I said in the car today, "no, you're not tight" and he said, "yes me tight!"). He has opinions about everything. Today he even climbed almost entirely out of his crib. And lastly, I think we might be done nursing.

But some nights he's still waking up in the middle of the night and this means I get some snuggles with my little man. Tonight he didn't want to fall asleep by himself and instead snuggled in like a baby and let me rock him to sleep. And that's when I had the thought that forms the title to this post: I can sleep when he gets older. For now, I'm going to enjoy the snuggles and watching him sleep peacefully. Because I know from experience that these times go too fast. Soon enough he won't fit perfectly in my arms and won't want to cover me in the sweetest kisses ever. So I'll take it.

The beginning of the end

I'm not even sure if it's the beginning of the end.  More like the middle.

I've removed my pumping times from my work calendar.  I'm at the point now where I'm not even pumping enough milk to cover the bottom of the bottle.  Last time around I was more than happy to break up with the pump, but then it was my choice and Baby Girl's choice.  She had cut out pre-naptime nursing on her own and there wasn't a need for me to keep pumping during the day.  Baby Boy, however, has been different in that we sort of forced his hand on cutting out his pre-naptime nursing session.  He's fine if I'm not in the house and doesn't even ask for milk, so I've been leaving the house before naptime or we've been in situations (not necessarily on purpose) where his naptime has been shifted on the weekends--we've been in the car or in a strange place.  He hasn't nursed on a weekend in 5 weeks now and I only pumped during those times on one weekend.

Additionally, I've cut way back on my caloric intake.  It's going well...for me.  I've lost about 6 pounds in the last two weeks or so.  But it's not going so well for my milk supply.  Baby Boy doesn't seem to notice, which is good, but him nursing on an empty breast isn't the most comfortable feeling, either.

I'm taking time to cherish the time we have to nurse, though, since I'm pretty sure that he's going to be my last baby, my last child to nurse, the last breastfeeding relationship I'm going to have.  I watch him while he nurses (aided greatly by Daylight Savings Time), talk to him, kiss him on his head, and sometimes I let him nurse to sleep if he's close to it already.  We snuggle.  It's our time to spend together.  Do I think it's a good idea to rock him to sleep each night?  No, of course not.  But I need it and I think he does too.  He'll get too big soon enough and he'll become more independent, but neither of us is ready for that yet and it works for us.

I blinked

Apparently I blinked and missed the day when my baby suddenly became a big boy. What the heck happened? It's left me feeling a little dizzy!

Around the beginning of January, Baby Boy started showing interest in the potty. We got out the training potty and let him try it out. What do you know? He peed! He's been using the potty 75% of the time since then. He consistently stays dry at the sitter besides nap time and generally uses the potty at home as well. He definitely fights it more at home and doesn't tell us when he needs to use the potty as much as he does at the sitter. If he keeps going consistently, though, we're going to try him out in big boy underwear very soon. When he got some for Christmas from my mom, I thought it was funny, but apparently we're going it actually put them to use!

After a week or two of pottying, Baby Boy suddenly went from waking anywhere between one and four times per night to sleeping through the night. His first night sleeping through the night was Monday, January 27th, at just shy of 21 months.  He's slept all night 7 of the last 9 nights and each time he's woken he hasn't needed to be nursed back to sleep! It's a huge change for us. I do wish that I could say we feel amazingly rested,but we're still catching up, I think.

Add these changes to watching him learn letters, counting, and hearing him talk more and I can confirm that he is quickly becoming a big boy. While I know my job as a parent is to help him grow and learn, I'm feeling very melancholy, especially since I think we might be done having babies. I can't believe I might be done nursing forever soon and I won't have too many more middle-of-the-night snuggles. I'm definitely experiencing mixed emotions about it all. But even if I wanted to, I can't stop it from happening!

Who is this person?

I've always wanted to be a runner. If you know me, you know that that isn't me, though. In college I did some athletic activities, but always struggled with running. I've never been particularly in shape and am usually shopping in the plus size section of a store, no matter whether I'm on the lighter or heavier side. Heck, I blogged about my weight loss previously and I was still a 12/14 at my lowest weight.

So yeah...not built like a runner. It doesn't come naturally in the least. 

Back during my major weight loss journey I tried adding in some running to aid in the weight loss. I made it through about three weeks of the Couch to 5K program before I realized that the exercise was actually impeding my weight loss. Then I avoided anything that would cause me to burn too many calories the whole time I was nursing Baby Girl. After she weaned, Hubby and I started up on Couch to 5K again. We made it to the point where we were running 20 minutes at a time, which was huge for me.

And then I got pregnant with Baby Boy and it all stopped.

Yes, I realize that you can still run when pregnant. I've known many women who were runners and kept running through their pregnancy. But I didn't. For one, I wasn't already a runner. For another, I like to relish in the fatness of pregnancy. (Please save your criticisms and judgment--it is what it is for me)

After Baby Boy was born, I tried to run again. Hubby and I have a few sporadic attempts at running, but the kids, laziness, time, and weather have all gotten in the way. We'd love to be able to run together but that isn't really realistic with two children who don't inhabit small spaces well together. 

Today I had spent 45 minutes doing Baby Boy's nap time, which was an anomaly, so I was exhausted. It was almost 50 outside, though windy and mostly overcast. Instead of using nap time as an opportunity to zone out in front of the TV, I decided to go running. 

What?!?

Yes, you read it right. I chose running over laziness. And no, I have no fever. So I equipped myself with Hubby's smart phone (I still have a non-Internet, paying for texts phone), an 80s Cardio station on Pandora, and headed out, planning to jump into week 3 of the Couch to 5K plan. I walked the 5 minute warm-up, then jogged the 90 seconds. After walking the recovery 90 seconds, I started to jog again. But instead of watching the clock for the end of the three minutes, I just jogged. By the time I looked at the clock, I was at 2:50 and was feeling good, so I kept going. I ended up jogging for five minutes. I did only two minutes of recovery, jogged two minutes, another two minutes of recovery, then set out to jog the length of a street in our neighborhood. I got to the end of the street in four minutes, but decide to turn the corner and jog to the end of my street, one street over. I got there at 4:51, turned up my own street, and finished out to 5 minutes. I shocked myself by how well I did and feel very proud. I'm sure it doesn't sound like much to most, but for me it's pretty huge.

Maybe I can actually meet my goal of running the Buckeye four-miler in November. I've wanted to run the Race for the Cure for awhile in May but don't know if I'll get to train enough for it, but I still might register and plan to walk it.

Running is hard for me and so is getting motivated to get off my butt and do something active. But you know what? It felt good and I'm looking forward to feeling like this again.

I'd expected this day, but not necessarily so soon

To say things at work have been stressful would be an understatement. In fact, things are downright ugly. I come home every night wound-up, frustrated, and irritable. Add on top of that the fact that neither kid has been sleeping through the night and Baby Boy was up 4 times last night and you've got one mess of a mommy.

At pick-up at the sitter today, Baby Girl was being overly silly. She wouldn't sit still to put her shoes on and wasn't listening. We were already running late and just wanted to get home. I was wrangling the little one while Hubby was trying to get her out the door and the sitter was talking to me about her plans for the summer at her new house. As we walked out to the car, Hubby had a very stern talk with Baby Girl, telling her that she wasn't being a good listener and that she'd do time out if she ever behaved that way again. We got in the car and Baby Girl says, "I wish you guys didn't have that job." "What job?" we ask. We initially think she means our paying jobs, that she resents that we have to work at all and we're prepared to launch into the speech about how important money is. But then she says that she wishes we didn't have the job of being her mommy and daddy. After some clarifying conversation, she admits that she wishes we weren't her mommy and daddy. 

I told her that she hurt our feelings very badly, then turned on some music so we could consider our response. I told her about all of the nice things we do for her that many parents wouldn't do. We make up stories from scratch every night. We snuggle in her bed every night. We cook her yummy, healthy food. We comfort her when she's scared in the middle of the night. We let her crawl into our bed when she's scared. We coddle her for hours when she crying before bedtime, claiming that she's afraid someone will break into our house.

Eventually we're all silent, save the 20 month old asking for his water or some pretzels, oblivious to the conversation happening around him, and the sound of my sniffles. I later told her that we could start showing her how mean we could be and listed what we'd stop doing, which elicited many tears from her.

The remainder of the thirty minute car ride was spent mostly in silence, again, save the little man. She eventually says that she was sorry and that she didn't mean it and we make up, but I think Hubby and I are both still feeling pretty awful. She was so hurtful with her words and I know it's only going to get worse. 

It's a New Year

I fully recognize that everyone and their brother is making New Year's resolutions and trying to make big changes with the arrival of 2014.  I suppose I'm going to try to jump on that bandwagon.

I've found myself crafting blog posts in my head again, which tells me that it's likely time to get back into blogging.  I also have found that there are things about life right now, good and bad, that I want to document and remember down the road.  Things like the fact that Baby Girl says "vacation" like "vi-cation".  Or that Baby Boy slurps when he wants his drink and walks (or runs) up to you with his mouth wide open saying "ahhhhh" if he wants to eat whatever you've got.  And the fact that Baby Girl is struggling mightily with her bedtimes--she's crying for hours on end, shaking, worried that someone is going to break into her room.  And of course I want to write about how *I* am feeling these days, which, to be honest, is not that good.

I might change the format of this blog.  Hell, I might even start a whole new blog--I'm not entirely sure yet.  What I do know, however, is that I feel a need to speak, to get my thoughts out, and my blog is a good outlet for that.  So I'm back in some format and will keep any of you who are still reading posted.

18 Month Stats

Weight: 23 lbs 11 oz (43rd percentile)

Length: 31 3/4 inches (27th percentile)

Head: 19.29 inches (89th percentile)

Quick stats update for both kids

Gah.  I hate that I'm so far behind.  My big girl turned FOUR and I need to tell you all about the little girl that she is.  There's no more baby left in that one...except the way she says "breakfast" and "just".  But otherwise, she's growing up.  The thigh rolls are all gone.  Sniff.

Anyway, this week is the one time that the kids' well checkups lined up--Baby Boy is 15 months and Baby Girl is 4 years old.  We were able to get back-to-back appointments.

Baby Boy:

Weight: 21 lbs 11 ounces (33.4 percentile)
Height: 31 inches (43.31 percentile, up from 2.36 percentile at one year)
Head circumference: 19 inches (86.57 percentile, which is pretty consistent)

He got one shot and didn't cry during the shot.  But the tears came soon after.  I had taken Baby Girl out of the room to take her urine sample and Baby Boy saw me walk past the door at one point and lost it.  I had to snuggle him and walk around with him to get him to calm down.  He loves his mommy, that one.


Baby Girl:

Weight: 41 lbs (87.15 percentile, which is consistent since she was 2 1/2 years)
Height: 41 inches (77.9 percentile, a large jump from a year ago when she was 57th percentile (37th percentil at 2 years old))

They didn't measure her head, but I can assure you that it's humongous.  That's how we grow them in our house.

Baby Girl had to give a urine sample, which I thought would be horrible, but I successfully collected it without getting a drop on me.  She had her blood pressure taken (it was normal, whatever it was) and her hearing testing.  The urine came back with trace amounts of blood, so we had to get another sample this morning.  Luckily, a good friend was headed to the office with her own kid, so she took the sample so that I didn't have to make the trip during work.  Also, we found that Baby Girl can't hear as well as she should.  She can hear as low as 30 decibels and they'd like her to be able to hear down to 20.  Because she also has her ear tubes still in (over 2 years later), our pediatrician has recommended that we visit our ENT.  I haven't made the appointment yet because we obviously haven't seen any ill-effects (meaning it hasn't negatively impacted her speech AT ALL), but will do so soon.

Molars and talking

Baby Boy's first set of molars (or pre-molars?) has cut through--teeth #9 and #10.  The first was upper left and I *think* the bottom left is now through.  He doesn't let me get in there as readily as Baby Girl did.  I haven't gotten a chance to check on the other side, but based on both of my kids' teething history, it'll be awhile longer before the other side comes through.  My kids are pretty lopsided with teething.

As for talking (just throwing a few short posts into one to make it more worthwhile), Baby Boy still isn't talking.  Everything he says starts with the "g" sound.  He will say "mamamama", but I'm still not entirely sure if he's saying it to me.  If he is, he just started within the last couple of days.  When we sit down to dinner, we pray ("talk to God") before we eat, so now when we get sat down, he'll say "gah" and reach his hands out to hold ours.  It's pretty adorable.  And this morning in the car he saw a truck and pointed at it and I said, "That's a big truck.  BIG truck."  He responded with something like "guh".  He is trying to make some animals noises, but all animals either 1) quack, 2) make an elephant noise or 3) growl (most growl).  I've been trying to get him to moo for months now, but to no avail.  Baby Boy calls The Hubby "guh".  It's a consistent sound, but definitely not a word and nowhere near "Daddy".  I don't know when to worry, honestly.  I talked to a friend who is a SLP and she gave me some tips of things that I can do to help him verbalize, so I've been making an effort.  I'm sure the pediatrician will ask at his 15 month appointment on the 31st, so I'm starting to get a little anxious because of that.  He absolutely understands us, though, and is really good at communicating without actually using words between pointing, some sign language, and grunting.  I'm sure he'll get there and I'm doing a better job than normal not freaking out.

No bottles

I started to post this on a message board I'm a part of and then realized that there really isn't anything for them to respond to and I'm not sure that most of them would care.  So I'm posting a quick post here :)
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With Baby Girl, moving to a sippy wasn't a big deal and was honestly not something we tackled--the sitter did.  And now with Baby Boy it also hasn't been a huge deal--he doesn't get bottles at home, so the most he gets in a day is now 2 (from the sitter).  He didn't really want to drink BM from a sippy yet even though he drinks water from one at home, and we were fine with it.  We use Drop-Ins, so the sitter handles cleaning the nipples and it's no skin off our back and is honestly a pretty minimal expense.

But yesterday he drank all of the BM that I sent for him (about 6 oz) out of a sippy cup.  Woohoo!  Now I don't have to tell the pediatrician at the end of the month that he still takes a bottle (not that it'd be a big deal--I really didn't care and don't think the pediatrician would care much).

Still trying to decide what to do about pumping and my milk supply, though.  I'm still pumping three times per day most days (unless I have a lunch date--then I'll just pump twice).  I'm only getting 6 ounces per day and am officially only using one storage bag daily, which feels really strange.  I really only pump as much as I do because Baby Boy still wants to nurse on the weekends and I want to be able to provide for him.  So we'll see.  I'm always re-evaluating and trying to decide what's best for my baby.

Selling our home

Instead of meaningless apologies and promises to blog more, I'm just going to jump into a new blog post.  Yay!

A short update: Baby Boy's sleep still sucks, Baby Girl is almost four and is acting more like fourteen, I haven't lost any baby weight since just a month or two after Baby Boy was born, we're still pondering whether we're going to have a third baby, and we're working on getting our current house on the market.

Ever since we had Baby Girl, our plan had been to move out of our current home by the time she starts school (which happens in 2014!).  We don't have a problem with the elementary school that she would attend, but the middle and high schools aren't what we're looking for and I hate the idea of having to make her move schools after she's already made friends.  This past year we've been planning on getting the house on the market, but having a baby sort of put a damper on those plans.  Now that we're finally emerging from the Baby Fog and the housing market seems to be looking up, we're going full throttle on getting our house on the market.  Each free weekend and some weeknights we've been making progress.

We've done the following:

• Organized baby clothes
• Moved tubs of things for long-term storage to our garage
• Purged stuffed animals
• Gathered mounds of things for a garage sale
• Organized both of the kids' rooms
• Organized our bedroom
• Cleaned out and organized the office nook in the basement
• Purged some toys and also packed some away for storage
• Completely removed the three large sets of shelves from the basement that contained my surplus (from couponing) and craft projects
• Cleaned out the closet at the bottom of the basement steps to pack away small kitchen appliances to make room for a partial pantry
• Organized the cabinets in the master bathroom

What we still need to do:

• Clean the master bathroom
• Remove the border in the master bathroom
• Hang a new light fixture in master bathroom
• Paint the master bathroom
• Re-caulk the master shower and kids' bathtub
• Clear off the kitchen counters
• Clear off other surfaces (top of fridge, top of TV armoire)
• Paint Baby Boy's ceiling
• Possibly remove furniture from both of the kids' bedrooms
• Re-hang the sliding closet doors in Baby Boy's room
• Remove the hope chest from master bedroom
• Patch holes in the basement ceiling from the removal of fluorescent light fixtures
• Get a storage unit and move things there
• Have our garage sale

That second list still looks long, but it's definitely getting shorter and it's mostly bigger projects--not full days of organizing and purging any more.  I'm feeling very positive about our progress and can't wait to get it all finished.  I feel like we have a lot of momentum right now and I hope we can keep it up over the next month or so, as we're going to try to get it on the market by August 1st.  We're hoping to have a garage sale the weekend of July 13th or 20th to get rid of some stuff--I hope it's successful!

A letter to my little boy on his first birthday

My big man,

I'm sitting here watching you sleep on the video monitor, contemplating everything that has happened in the last year.  I'm not sure if I can adequately express how much happiness you've brought me in the last year.

I'll admit now that I was scared of having a little boy.  After over two years of experience with a little girl, I didn't know if I could handle having a little boy--what was I going to do with a BOY??!!  I'm here to tell you that it's been a fantastic year.  You ARE all boy and get into trouble far more than your sister ever did, but you are also very independent and incredibly happy.  You give a smile to everyone you meet, even when you're nuzzling into Mommy and being shy.

Besides being fearful of you being a boy, I was also fearful that you would sleep as poorly as your sister did. Honey, you fulfilled that fear and then some!  No matter what we've done, up until a week ago, you were still waking at least 3 times per night.  We went through months and months where you were waking 6-8 times per night.  To tell you the truth, your daddy and I have been like zombies for the past year.  Then suddenly about a week ago, you started waking only once or twice per night.  It was wonderful.  You've been waking a bit more the last few nights, but I think that can be attributed to late bedtimes, less napping, and being completely off your schedule because of celebrations and things.  We'll get back into a routine tomorrow and hopefully you'll start sleeping better then.  And you know what?  Even if you don't, I'll still love you like crazy.

I wish I had the words necessary to explain to you how much joy you've brought me over the last twelve months.  I've written and re-written these sentences many times and words just aren't enough.  I really think the best way to explain it is to know that I LOVE sleep and still every time I saw you in the middle of the night, I smiled.  Even though it was causing me a lot of back and hip pain, my favorite place for you to be each night is beside me, nestled with my arm on the top of your head.  You don't sleep in our bed all the time, but those nights that I accidentally fall asleep nursing you and then wake up to your beautiful face are times that I'll cherish always.

I thank God every single night that He chose me to be your mommy.  I apologize for the anxiety that I felt over becoming a mommy again and tell Him thank you for giving me what I really needed--you.

I love you, son.  Happy birthday, my sweet, sweet boy.

Love,
Mommy

11 Months (a little late, as usual)

I just can't keep up with life.  I'm off living it, so I guess that's good, but I still feel like I'm missing SO much.

Baby Boy turned 11 months old last Saturday (ahem...now TWO Saturdays ago...).  I did get his monthly pictures taken, so that's one thing I didn't forget to do!

This eleventh month has been a rough one for the little man.  Before he turned 10 months, he was diagnosed with an ear infection and it has lingered through the entire 11th month.  His sleep has been pretty awful, but we still don't know how much it is impacted by the ear infections and how much is just...him.  But we've been through four rounds of antibiotics now and the infection seems to be gone for now.

The biggest development in the eleventh month is that Baby Boy started walking!  The weekend of March 23rd we took him to my in-laws' house, where he continued taking just a couple of steps at a time.  He'd step, step, fall all day long.  Then Monday evening back at our house I noticed that he'd traveled between two things that he normally would've dropped to his knees to go between.  Yeah, second child syndrome.  No video camera and we weren't even really paying attention.  So then on Tuesday when we picked the kids up from daycare, he walked to us like he'd been doing it all of his life, even traversing the edge of the carpet. And he has been on the go since then!

Baby Boy also sprouted his eighth tooth, so we're finally all even again.  Now we're on the look-out for molars.  Baby Girl got her teeth so late that I have no idea when his will come in.

Baby Boy has a big personality.  He's incredibly sweet to everyone he meets.  He has started being shy and holding his head to the side when he meets someone new.  He wants to be held when meeting new people, but will still give them a big smile from the comfort of Mommy or Daddy's arms.  He's also got a bit of a temper.  If he doesn't get what he wants when he wants it, he lets out a horrific yell.  This isn't fun any time of day.  We probably hear it most while he's in his high chair.  We've found that we can't put him into his high char until we have the food completely ready to eat or he'll start yelling.

Right around 11 months, Baby Boy started doing something really cute.  When he's feeling shy or just flirting (he's done it to me when The Hubby is holding him), he'll tip his head sideways and give this really sweet smile.  If someone is holding him, he'll lay his head on their shoulder.

He's using G, B, M, and D consonants consistently.

He still loves avocado and green beans and all kinds of meat.  He's a really good eater, but a tiny bit pickier than his sister was.  I'm excited to be able to introduce more foods that we've been holding out on because of allergy concerns when he turns a year old!

Sleep...How I Miss Thee

Baby Boy's sleep is bad.  I don't even know how to explain it besides to say that it's really, really bad.

Last night, for instance, looked like this:

6:50: Nurse in his bedroom
7:05: I start walking, singing, shh-ing, bouncing, and swaying
7:20: He falls asleep.  This is a good bedtime.
7:45: He wakes up screaming.  I go to him and am able to get him back to sleep in about 5 minutes.
9:30: I go to bed.
9:35: Baby is awake.  The Hubby goes to him and tries to get him to go back to sleep, but he just turns and points to the door, which he knows leads him out of his bedroom and to ours.
9:40: I nurse Baby Boy.
9:42: He's asleep.  The Hubby and I watch him sleep laying in our bed.  He's restless.
9:50: The Hubby takes the baby back to his room and we both fall asleep.

The rest of the night was a blur, as they typically are.  I'm so exhausted that I don't know what time we're waking or what's happening.  I do know, however, that we were up at least four more times and that Baby Boy stayed in our bed for quite a bit of the night.

I honestly don't know what to do with him.  He won't stay laying in his bed for us to pat/shh him.  He screams loudly enough to wake his sister.  I'm NOT comfortable with letting him cry. We did it once and when he woke up 45 minutes later, he screamed like I'd never heard him scream, terrified.

I'm not necessarily looking for solutions--just to document this part of our life.  If not for sleep troubles, Baby Boy is a sweet, happy little man.  The problem is, during those same waking hours, his father am I are a mess.  We're short-tempered, drowsy, and can't focus on anything.  We have another child to care for and I'm starting to realize that we aren't being the best parents we can be for either of our children.  Once Baby Boy is one, I'll feel a little more ready to start being more forceful with night weaning.  I will be okay if he still wakes once (or even twice!) per night to eat, but four to five times per night is really getting old.  Until then, we roll with it...

Thank You, God

Every night The Hubby, Baby Girl, and I say a prayer before Baby Girl goes to bed.  It's pretty informal and we all trade off thanking God for things or asking for help or we even ask God for forgiveness.  Baby Girl typically says that she can't think of anything, which leads to a bit of a lecture from us about how important it is to be grateful for the things that make us happy.  We make her come up with at least one thing to thank God for and after much prodding from us, she'll say something (usually something that we've prompted her with, like, "Did it make you happy to make cookies with mommy today?").  I'm hoping someday this will all click and she will start to come up with things on her own.

This morning I realized that the things we've been saying have actually sunken in, at least a little.

We were in the car on the way to the sitter in driving, freezing rain.  I was having a hard time seeing and the car was fairly quiet.  Baby Girl had been complaining that she couldn't see out her window because it was foggy, when she realized that she could just rub the window with her hand and be able to see out of it.  She enjoyed doing that each time it would fog up.

A few minutes later, I heard her little voice: "Thank you God, for making it rain today so that I can wipe off the fog."

Such a sweet, little thing for her to say thank you for, but I love that she felt driven to say something right then, without any prompting from us.

Update on Baby Girl

Baby Girl is back at the sitter today.  I'm not exhaling yet because I have no idea what sort of incubation period we're looking at, so I don't know that it won't hit the rest of our family.  But at least she's back to (almost) normal.  She was acting out a bit yesterday, so we're going to get back to being more strict with her once she's feeling better.

Man, that was scary.  She just kept vomiting everything she took in.  I'm really lucky that she was such a trooper.  She was pretty happy for most of the time and she was such a big girl, doing most of her getting sick in the actual toilet.  I know she was tired of getting sick by the last day of it, but I can't say that I blame her.

Words can't express how happy I am that she's feeling better.  What an awful, yucky sickness.

And now I resume crossing my fingers that The Hubby, Baby Boy, and I don't get it.  If we don't, then this weekend will be consumed with a DEEP cleaning of our house.  I've already gone through and done a lot of cleaning and The Hubby has done A LOT of laundry, but I'm going to throw all linens, towels, and blankets into the washing machine, wipe down everything, clean all dishes and silverware that are sitting around....our house will be cleaner by Sunday than it has been in the 3.5 years since Baby Girl was born!

And it starts...

All winter long I've been reading on Facebook, message boards, and email about friends and their kids who have been stricken by stomach bugs.  Most of the kids at the sitter have gone down with a stomach bug of some kind.  I've said prayers.  I've been anxious, which is a major understatement.  I've gotten nauseous myself.  And we've made it most of the winter.

Baby Boy had a small stomach bug on Christmas Day--he got sick a few times within a couple of hours and then that was it.  He also had a bug almost 3 weeks ago--again, he got sick some overnight, but was fine the next day.  He continued with some diarrhea, but I think (thought?) that it was caused by the antibiotic he was on for his double ear infection.  It really wasn't a huge deal with him...in hindsight, of course.  In the moment, it felt like the end of the world.

(If you don't want a play-by-play of sickness, just skip the rest of this post.  I would if I weren't the one writing it because just reading posts by other people about stomach bugs makes me anxious and feel like I'm going to catch it via the interwebs.  You've been warned.)

However.  Now Baby Girl is sick.  She woke up vomiting overnight Friday night and came into our room.  The Hubby took her to the living room where they hung out and she threw up the rest of the night.  She tried eating some applesauce and it came right back up, which was the last time she got sick on Saturday morning at 8 a.m.  She was low-energy for the rest of the day while I entertained Baby Boy in the basement and running errands, then she ate some macaroni and cheese for dinner Saturday night and seemed to feel better....at which time, The Hubby noticed that she had a fever.

Her temperature stayed around 102 for the rest of Sunday, but besides a two-and-a-half hour nap on the couch 10:30-1, she acted relatively normally.  We went outside and enjoyed the beautiful weather for a couple of hours and you'd never know she was running a fever.  Her temp was down to a little over 100 by bedtime that night and she'd eaten a good dinner, so we figured she'd be feeling good this morning (Monday).

Baby Girl woke up feeling good.  She had no fever and ate two bowls of cereal.  Everything seemed normal until naptime.

I was downstairs enjoying a little bit of alone time.  I'd gotten Baby Boy to sleep and Baby Girl was laying quietly in her bed.  The fact that she didn't fall asleep seemed like a good sign to me.  Then I heard her pitter patter to the bathroom and heard her ask me to come wipe her tushy.  I knew immediately that she had diarrhea.  As soon as I got her back to bed, her brother woke up.  She was back in the bathroom a few minutes later, at which time I told her to just get on up.  She still seemed fine.  She and her brother played with their train table and some other toys for awhile.  She kept coughing and running to the bathroom, thinking that she was going to "spit up", but nothing happened.

And then it did happen.  She got sick again.  I called The Hubby and asked him to come home from work.  After she got sick, she wanted a hard-boiled egg, which only Daddy can make, so he cooked her one when he got home.  She seemed to be feeling fine.  However, about five minutes after eating the egg, it came right back up.  And again.

So now we wait.  We wait to see who else will get it and when.  We wait to see how long it takes Baby Girl to recover.  We wait to see how long this goes on.  We wait to see whether we can keep the baby healthy.  We wait....