8 weeks

Here we are...eight weeks (and two days). My big boy is almost two months old. We go for his two month checkup (and shots) on Friday, so we'll have official size stats then.

In the last week...

...we started putting Baby Boy in size 2 diapers overnight. I would switch him during the day, too, if I didn't still have a decent stash of size 1s. Never would've thought I'd have a baby this big when Baby Girl was average-to-small!

...I've noticed Baby Boy tracking objects and really focusing on things. He's always been interested in things around him, but I can tell he's seeing further and following objects and people with his eyes. It is fun to see.

...his sleeping has been better...then worse. Over the weekend Baby Boy slept well. He had a 5.5 hour stretch of sleep Saturday night. Sunday night he slept for 3.5 hours, then when The Hubby got him up, fell asleep on the bed while I was getting my nursing pillow on. I made The Hubby put him back in his bed and we all slept for another 1.5 hours! And then Monday happened. Monday he was awake, screaming, and not consoled by anything but nursing all afternoon. Then he went back to waking every 2-2.5 hours overnight. He repeated this yesterday. I'm blaming a developmental growth spurt (Google The Wonder Weeks--totally fascinating to me!). Today he has actually been better, so I'm hoping that is the explanation. Even if it isn't, it makes me feel less like it might somehow be my own fault.

...we visited the Urology department at a branch of our local children's hospital. At his one month appointment, our pediatrician discovered some penile adhesions (he is probably going to kill me when he's older for blogging about this...). He wasn't able to get one bug area and wanted a urologist to look at it instead, so we were referred. The most exciting part of the appointment was having Baby Boy weighed (with clothes) at 13 pounds. It went downhill from there. The nurse practitioner said that he would need to be seen by the urologist at the main campus of the hospital. She also wanted an ultrasound done because of his hydrocele (which our very very cautious pediatrician said could wait until he's closer to a year old). They scheduled the appointment for us...for August 22nd. Great. What a waste of our time. Our pediatrician actually contacted us personally to see if we were as annoyed as he was. We were. We'll be discussing everything with him on Friday at Baby Boy's two month checkup.

Besides the crankiness of the last two days, Baby Boy continues to be a really laid back, happy kid. He slept through The Hubby and me having a snack at Panera after the urology appointment. He actually slept in his carrier long enough for me to eat lunch with a friend today. He regularly lays on his play mat and has conversations with his rooster and elephant while I get things done or just (gasp!) take some time to myself where I don't have a baby sleeping on me (which is still his favorite place to sleep and where he gets his longest stretches of sleep). He also loves his bouncy seat and will sit in it and kick hard enough that we have to buckle him in while I shower. I don't mnow if he's more laid back or I am, but many things really are easier with him than they were with Baby Girl. I'd guess it is a combination.

Domestic Goddess

Does anyone else out there feel like all they do is clean and care for their house? Boy, between two kids (especially including one who is breast feeding) and the house, I don't get time to relax!

Whenever I start to think about resting, I remember a load of laundry, the kitchen that needs to be cleaned, a bathroom that needs cleaned, or kids clothes to be organized. Once the everyday stuff is done, I get started on a LONG list of things we want to do before we put the house on the market. I've cleaned off the top of the fridge, the top of the kitchen cabinets, and started working on doing some purging to make the house less cluttered. I rearranged the kitchen cabinets to make room for stuff for Baby Boy since we'll start using bottles very soon. I'm also hoping to get together boxes of things to sell, either in a virtual garage sale that I'm a part of with girls from a message board I belong to or on EBay. I also found out that some of my old textbooks that are at least 10 years old are still worth some money. Three of my Engineering textbooks could make me around $200 in Amazon credits if I sell them to Amazon--woohoo!

Anyway, this is just a post to whine about how much the housework piles up and is never ending. If I'm not nursing the baby, I'm cleaning or organizing something. I'm exhausted and have no idea when or how this stuff is going to get done when I go back to work. The Hubby will help more, but since we have to tag team the kids when they're both awake, it'll be hard to be anything done before bedtime.

Anyone else feel like they're constantly treading water when it comes to housework?

7 Weeks

My big man just keeps growing and growing! We had him out a few times this weekend and whenever anyone asked how old he is they were surprised and thought he was older. People also tell us how adorable he is. I think so, of course, but it is great to hear from other people!

This week Baby Boy got his first cold. I think he got it from me, but we've all been a bit snotty recently. So far (yes, it's still going on) he is only stuffy overnight, so that's good. I've been getting the bathroom steamy before taking my shower and I think it is helping both of us.

I also noticed this week that we've reached the point where he will stand up on my nursing pillow while I try to put him to sleep or burp him. I don't think Baby Girl was doing that until much later.

Baby Boy seems to be sensitive to temperature, which makes me wonder if that's why he isn't sleeping for longer than 3 hours at a time. He sweats when we sit in the sun too long and gets cranky if we stay out too long. He also sweats when he gets angry, which compounds the problem!

Overall, he is a very happy little man who will give a smile to everyone he meets. The only times he gets cranky are when he's tired, when he's awake and expecting to eat, or when he's gassy, which is really rare these days. He babbles like crazy when he's awake and happy--I love hearing everything he has to say!

Paging osuraj!

There's no email address in your profile and it doesn't look like you're active on the message board anymore so I don't know how to contact you about my OB. Leave me an email address here (I moderate all comments and just won't publish it) and I'm happy to talk to you about my doctor.

6 Weeks Old

Although he does seriously change every single day, it is really hard to define exactly how. My little man is smiling and chuckling and flirting with everyone. I think he's the cutest little boy in the world, but I may be a little biased :)

Right at 6 weeks, Baby Boy's acne really started to clear up. It had gotten so bad that his cheeks were bumpy and he even had acne on his scalp. I still thought he was beautiful, of course.

Our daily routine looks approximately like this...sometimes (as he wakes up in the middle of what should be his long nap...):

8 a.m.: Up for the day (I wake with Baby Boy next to me in bed), eat, then play
9 a.m.: Down for nap
10 a.m.: Eat, then playtime
11 a.m.: Down for nap
Noon: Eat, then play
1 p.m.: Down for nap
4 p.m.: Eat, then play
5 p.m.: Start trying to get him down for nap
5:20 p.m.: Baby Girl and The Hubby get home and thwart napping efforts
6:00 p.m.: Rarely a quick nap
7:30 p.m.: nurse and try to get baby to go to sleep
8:00 p.m.: If no nap around 6, baby falls asleep. If nap, then awake time until 9:00
Sleeps approximately 3 hours, then wakes to eat and goes back to sleep. We try to go to bed around the beginning of this sleep period.
Overnight: Wakes every 2-3 hours, eats, then sleeps. Around 5 a.m. I feed him in side-lying position and everyone falls asleep until morning.

One thing to note about sleeping is that we aren't fighting to get him to fall asleep as much. I think the reasons are: 1) we're learning his preferences 2) we aren't letting him get overtired, except in the evenings when it is happening naturally and 3) he is getting older and maybe doesn't need as much walking and everything.

Currently 80-90% of naps are happening on my chest. Should that change? Of course. I also now will only be home full time with him for 3 more weeks and love that snuggle time. So it is a work in progress. He sleeps in his Rock n Play from 8/9 p.m. until 5 a.m., at which time we do some co-sleeping, which makes me slightly uncomfortable, but is working well for our family for now. I imagine when I go back to work everything will change.

How he got here

I started having painful contractions at 4 pm Saturday, April 28 (my due date) and they were immediately 5 or less minutes apart. My in laws were in town so my father-in-law could give an estimate for some work, so we started trying to contact them so they could come watch Baby Girl. They got to the house around 7:30, at which point The Hubby and I started walking the neighborhood. I had to stop every 4-5 minutes during contractions. We had to go inside when it started to rain. Around 10:30 we headed to the hospital after talking with the on-call OB.

We had to stop a few times so I could work through contractions on the way up to L&D. We chatted with the check-in lady, then got a room in triage. I got hooked up to monitors and was checked by the nurse. I was still at 1 cm, so we walked the halls of triage and labor and delivery, stopping periodically when the contractions came so I could grip the wall railings or The Hubby. We called my parents and they came up and walked with us in the outer halls. By 2:30 we were told that we would be sent home because I hadn't dilated any further, so I sadly sent my parents back home (an hour away). The nurse was pretty sure I was in labor, but that it was just really early. I was very frustrated since I met all of the requirements to go to the hospital (and the on-call OB agreed that I should go in). I wasn't looking forward to laboring at home with my 2.5 year old in the next bedroom, either. I asked the nurse how I would know if I couldn't use the frequency or duration of the contractions to judge when to go back and she told me that they would get more intense and that I would "just know". I was exhausted, frustrated, and still having contractions every 5 minutes. I couldn't believe that when we checked in we'd thought we would have a baby very soon.

We stopped at Taco Bell for a snack and got home to find my mother-in-law sleeping on the couch. She thought we would be my parents coming to the house to sleep, so she was pretty confused, so The Hubby stopped to explain things to her while I headed upstairs. I kept contracting every 3-4 minutes overnight. I have never had such a miserable night in my life, sleeping for 2 minutes, then waking for a contraction. The contractions then spaced out to every 10-15 minutes for about an hour late Sunday morning, making me think that I was headed for my C-section that was still scheduled for just 5 days later. During the late morning (I think--it was sort of a blur of exhaustion and trying to hide the pain from my daughter at that point), my parents came and the in-laws went home (The Hubby tells me that his parents left around noon and mine came around 4 and that we took one walk while his parents were still here). I remember feeling nauseous and uninterested in food and I think we did some walking. The contractions started picking up in intensity and around 6:30 we were thinking about heading back to the hospital. I was in enough pain that I went to our bedroom to labor so I didn't have to try to hide it anymore. I had been on my hands and knees on the bed when The Hubby came upstairs. I twisted to sit on my bottom and got a gush of fluid. I couldn't imagine I'd peed myself, but didn't know for sure. I sat on the toilet and got no more fluid, making me even more unsure about it being my water breaking. After consulting with The Hubby, we decided to try the hospital again.

The frequency and intensity of contractions increased more as we headed to the hospital. The ride in was really painful and we had to stop a few times on our walk up to L&D. I was checked at 8:00 and was 3 cm but the nurse didn't think my water had broken. She took a sample and they confirmed my water had broken, so I was admitted. I got settled, chatted with Angie, my awesome nurse, and got my epidural almost immediately because I'd been contracting for 30 hours at that point. I was absolutely exhausted. Angie assured me that typically epidurals don't actually stall out labor (my fear) and that was all I needed to hear. I had one contraction while I lay on my side, but it wasn't horrible. My nurse thought I'd be laboring all night and wasn't confident that she'd meet him by the time she left at 7 a.m. At 10:30 I was 5 cm and able to take a nap around 11:30 (the baby's heart rate didn't like contractions, so I had to roll onto my right side when some alarms started going off--so grateful that my nurse was very low-key about that because it helped keep me calm). Around 12:30 I woke up feeling pressure and after consulting with Angie woke up The Hubby, who had passed out on the little bed/couch. They called the on-call OB (I was nervous about where she lived because the pressure to push was really intense--not painful, just pressure). When she arrived she checked me and I was at 9 cm with only a couple of lips, but baby was still at -1 station. By 1:00 he was at 0 station and the OB agreed to let me try to push, but told me it would be a few hours still. I did a few practice pushes starting at 1:24 with my awesome nurse and she had to call in the OB because we were actually making progress. It took me a little bit to get the hang of how pushing should feel, but with the help of the poles on either side of my bed (holding my own legs wasn't getting it done), I caught on fairly quickly. I was pushing two or three times per contraction, guided by what my body was doing. I was surprised how perfectly placed my epidural was--no one-sidedness, I felt no pain, but still felt the pressure and could feel enough to push.

Nicholas Steven was born at 2:02, weighing 8 lbs 10.5 oz and 20.5 inches long. The Hubby got to wach his arrival, which I think he really appreciated. We had no complications whatsoever besides my 3rd degree tear. From water breaking to delivery was only 7 hours. Wow! It felt even faster than that, honestly.

I remember them putting him on my chest, holding him, singing to him, and staring at all of him. Because of some meconium in the fluid, they had the pediatrics team in the room, but they weren't needed because he was breathing fine. He did seem a little phlegmy, so they suctioned him quite a bit. They took him to the warmer after awhile and got his stats, then returned him to my arms where I was able to breast feed for the first time.

The tear repair was the most painful part of the process. The OB used all of the numbing injections that she had available. I was holding my little man and twitching from the pain. I was just glad that I had him as a distraction part of the time.

Once I was stitched, I'd nursed the baby, and the room was cleaned up (that was gross...there was a lot of blood), I was loaded into a wheelchair and taken to my room. I got settled in and we contacted friends and family.

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Next I'll write about my recovery and the differences between this and my scheduled C-section. If you have any specific questions you'd like to have me answer, please ask in the comments!

5 weeks

Going to do this post in a list format because that's all my brain can handle right now :)

Went to the doctor for his one month appointment:
Weight: 11 lbs 5 oz (90th percentile--Baby Girl was 9 lbs 0 oz)
Length: 22 inches (60th percentile--Baby Girl was 21 inches)
Head circumference: 39 cm (75th percentile--Baby Girl was 38 cm)

Got the second in the Hepatitis B series and we didn't notice any reaction.

- Soothed by shushing, spending time outside, swaying, walking, and patting
- Gets very angry and doesn't sleep well when overtired. Many times needs to be nursed to sleep
- Doesn't sleep more than 30 minutes in the swing, if at all
- Eating every two hours from the middle of the night (2 or 2:30) until early evening (8:00ish). We typically get a three hour stretch from 8 to 11 and then 11 to 2. Some days I get a long nap during the afternoon.
- Gassiness seems to be quite a bit better, but we've been noticing some really angry cries over the last day or so and aren't sure if something else has upset his tummy or if it's just normal baby fussiness
- Doesn't like the bouncy seat
- Has quite a bit of baby acne on his face and upper chest
- Wearing 0-3 mo size clothes and may need to move to 3-6 mo in Gerber brand onesies, which are known for being small.
- Doesn't seem to be losing too much hair yet
- Prefers to sleep on his side and will only sleep on tummy if already sleeping
- Grunts for a couple hours at a time until he poops or passes gas toward the end of the night
- Still has the startle and falling reflexes, but I can tell they're starting to go away
- Can purposefully put his hands into his mouth and slurps on them to soothe himself
- Definitely smiling in response to our faces and voices. He smiles with his entire body and makes a crappy day way better
- When he sneezes, he emits a little sigh that makes him sound satisfied and makes me smile every time

Hawaiian Turkey Burgers

...or an alternate title could be "What I Threw Together for Dinner".

The benefit to going to the grocery in the middle of the week has been getting meat on Manager's Special. When I go on Sundays there usually isn't anything in the case, but I've gotten boneless pork loin chops and ground turkey (93/7) for great prices recently. To further change things up, I went to the store without a list or meal plan for the first time in years. That was dumb! I need to go back to get ingredients to finish out some meals now, which is frustrating.

Anyway, I remembered the ground turkey that I put in the freezer last week and thought I'd do some turkey burgers, so I picked up buns. When I was working on dinner in my head, I thought of ways to jazz it up a bit. Below is the "recipe" I created.

Hawaiian Turkey Burgers

1 pound ground turkey
Teriyaki sauce, to taste
Garlic powder, to taste
1 Vidalia onion
1 T butter
1 T honey
1 medium fresh pineapple
BBQ sauce, to taste
Hamburger buns

Combine first three ingredients in a medium bowl and form into four patties. Heat large skillet over medium heat and spray with cooking spray. Preheat oven to low broil setting. Place patties in large preheated skillet. Melt butter and honey in small skillet and slice onion while you wait. Place onions in honey butter mixture and stir to coat. While onions and burgers are cooking, slice fresh pineapple. Stir onions frequently. When burgers are halfway done, flip them and cook on the other side. Once onions are carmelized, place in a bowl in the microwave to keep warm. Use small skillet to cook pineapple a bit. While pineapple is cooking, place buns (cut side up) on a cookie sheet in the oven. Remove once they start to toast. Assemble burgers and top with BBQ sauce. I served with corn on the cob.

(please excuse the instructions--this is my first time writing a recipe!)

One Month

My sweet little man, Today you are one month old. You are my big boy and look a lot like your sister did when she was a bit older than you are now. I don't know if you are markedly different from her or if we just have a different outlook, but I definitely treat you differently. I let you cry a little sometimes when I'm in the middle of something, I generally make the choice to snuggle you for nap instead of feeling trapped in my chair for every nap, I leave you alone while I put in a load of laundry, and I don't stress as much about making sure you're enriched all of the time--sometimes it is good for you to just lay on a blanket and wiggle. And wiggle you do. When we put you on your belly, you immediately start squirming. You spin in circles and have even rolled over a couple of times when your chest was slightly elevated. Mr. Man, you sure do know how to let us know when you aren't happy. The first sign is your boxing arms--you start flailing your arms with closed fists and with your long arms and big hands, you look like you want to take a swing at us. Then you start that whiny wind-up. And then you start to cry in earnest. And when your face turns purple and you start making coughing noises (not actually choking, though), we know you're really worked up. To tell you the truth, the only time we see your purple face is when you're tired. We apparently don't create good sleepers in this house. Your Daddy and I are still trying to decipher your sleep habits. You're obviously getting overtired much of the time, but when we try to put you down earlier, you just lay there awake for a long time. You already have trained us to coax you to sleep, a habit that we don't want to persist. The best way to get you to go to sleep is to walk with you outside because you love the heat of the sun and the motion of walking. I, however, am not recovered enough to walk as much as you need, which leads to a lot of frustration on both of our parts. And, much to my frustration, nursing isn't knocking you out anymore! Speaking of nursing, you are a great eater. In the past month, you've gone from being a sleepy eater who I struggled to keep awake through a nursing session to a really efficient eater. Something you do that is really different from your sister in this aspect is that you typically pop off when you're done eating, whereas she would stay latched for hours if I'd let her, just for the comfort. As exhausting as that was, I always knew that I had magic that would put her to sleep and relax her no matter what. While you are soothed by nursing, you're also a very active nurser and have been known to grunt and groan and cry even while nursing. At one month old, our routine looks like: wake up, eat (takes 15-20 minutes), play (20-60 minutes--this is what happens when I'm playing with figuring out your habits), then 20 minutes to get you to sleep. Sometimes the coaxing takes so long that I end up nursing you to sleep. You typically sleep 45 minutes to a couple of hours, depending on the time of day (you sleep best in the afternoon). If you've already had at least one long sleep or you didn't have an awake period, I will sometimes wake you 2 hours after you last ate, at the suggestion of the pediatrician. Trust me, I won't be waking you much longer, especially now that you aren't necessarily staying awake for playtime overnight every night anymore. The biggest physical trait that you exhibit is GASSY! Lol I'm sure you'll love knowing that someday. You grunt for the majority of the day and usually spend 4-6 a.m. grunting, much to the dismay of your parents! In an effort to help with your gassiness, I have been dairy-free (although I'm not really strict about it--just avoiding the obvious dairy products and not using any substitutions) for a weeks and a half. You haven't woken up screaming nearly as often, so I'm hoping it is helping. When I'm feeling brave again, I'm going to try eating a bit of cheese or yogurt to see what happens and pray that your body has matured enough to handle some dairy. Not eating cheese (especially pizza) is killing me!! The last couple of days I could swear we're starting to get genuine smiles. You smile at me when I fake sneeze and I've caught you just gazing at me when I'm not paying attention. You are curious about the world around you, which is detrimental to your sleep, but endearing otherwise. I honestly can't wait to see how your personalize develops over time and am trying to cherish the time I have at home with you as much as possible. The days haven't been all sunshine and roses, but we're managing and we're both still learning. Love always, Mommy

40 Weeks

I'm going to entirely bypass my normal weekly update categories, especially since I posted an update on Friday after my doctor appointment. Instead I'm going to tell you about how I spent my due date yesterday. We were having a normal Saturday, cleaning and hanging out. Baby Girl had a rough go at napping, so Mommy and Daddy were annoyed and on edge. Just before 4:00 pm, I had my first truly painful contraction. I looked at The Hubby and told him that if it happened again, then I was pretty sure it was the real deal. Sure enough, about 6 minutes later it happened again. The contractions continued and The Hubby and I started doing our last minute things to prepare for baby while I was timing and then tried to get ahold of my in-laws, who happened to be in town. We'd thought we would see my in-laws... ------- 5/25/12 I wasn't going to publish this or was going to incorporate it into my birth story post, but found this partially-written post too funny not to publish on its own. I wrote this on 4/29/12, the day we ended up being admitted to the hospital. No more than 24 hours after writing this, we had a baby in our arms.

Three Weeks

My baby is officially not a newborn anymore. He doesn't fit into newborn diapers (we switched about a week ago when he kept peeing on me while I nursed him) and I think today is the last day he'll be wearing newborn size clothes. His poor little legs are too long for the sleeper he's in today. I think unwashed newborn size stuff will fit still, but if it has been washed, forget it. Developmentally, he seems to be dropping the newborn title, too. His head control has always been impressive, but he is at a point where I don't feel like I need to support it at all. When he is on your shoulder, he is always looking around. Like his big sister, Baby Boy stares over your shoulder while beng burped when sitting in the recliner. It is like they see someone behind you. They say children can see ghosts, so I find some comfort in thinking that some of our dearly departed are watching over my kids. Within the last couple of days, he has also developed a case of baby acne. It started with a couple of spots on his cheeks and forehead, but now most of his forehead is covered...just in time for our family photos yesterday! It isn't too bad, though, and hopefully will clear up soon. The last few days also brought the phase I hated most about infancy--spitting up. Ugh. He doesn't do it after every feeding, but he does it a fair amount. He remains a very gassy baby and we fight to get burps out of him each time he eats. He's also still fighting with gas pains that he struggles to relieve out the other end. After a good amount of screaming last night (which could be attributed to him being overtired after our photo session) The Hubby and I are both considering going dairy-free. I've already cut back, but couldn't resist the cheese and sour cream on my Chipotle... I've planned another week of dairy-free meals. Boring, but if it works, it is worth it. We'll try it for a week or so and if it helps, I'll stay dairy-free for a few months, at least. I'm just happy I have The Hubby's support. I wasn't going to ask him to be dairy-free, but he actually texted me today saying "Maybe we should both go a few days dairy free to see if that helps". I will say, though, that Baby Boy is a complete joy when he isn't screaming with gas pain. He still has awake periods of 1.5 hours when he stays awake. These seem to happen most often in the morning, and he passes back out after eating almost every time during the afternoon. He will lay content on his Boppy, on the floor, or in your arms when he is awake. He loves to look around. When he does nap, it is almost exclusively on his side in the Rock n Play (or on someone, of course...I still love that feeling and let him do it a fair amount). P.S. I was mistaken when I said that his eyes had changed to brown. They're still a very dark grey-blue, but I have no doubt that they'll be brown very soon.

Two Weeks

It has been two weeks since I gave birth to my little man and it is amazing how much he's changed. He's already more alert and awake. He can be awake for an hour and a half after a nap (this includes time that he's sleepily eating). He is a pooping machine. Seriously. He honestly poops at least 4 times a day, but usually much, much more. And of course he doesn't do it discreetly. I don't know if this is a trait of all breast fed babies, all babies, or just mine, but his big sister did the same thing. We had a weight check with the pediatrician last Friday. As a reminder, his birth weight was 8 lbs 10.5 oz. His discharge weight was 8 lbs 2 oz. Two days later he was back up at 8 lbs 10 oz. We went back in a week after our first pediatrician appointment and he was 9 lbs 2 oz. Half a pound in one week! The weird thing to me is that he stayed virtually the same (67th percentile versus 68th) on the weight-for-age growth chart. I did check the WHO chart when I got home and his weight is over the 85th percentile according to that, which is supposed to be more accurate for breast fed babies. Not important, just interesting. Either way, he's growing well and the doctor noted his great head control again. At 10 days old, Baby Boy rolled from tummy to back twice. They were separate instances, which makes me slightly less convinced that it was a fluke, but I'd guess that's what it was...for now :) I notice that I am SO much more relaxed this time around. For instance, he's fussing in the swing right now and I'm going to try to let him work it out. The only crying I can't handle is when it sounds like he's in pain, which does happen frequently due to gas issues. He'll wake up screaming like someone is pinching him, which isn't a particularly fun way to wake in the middle of the night for Mommy and Daddy. We get him into a position on our shoulder and pound on his back until he feels better. The Hubby went and bought some gripe water, which we were prepared to use last night if needed, but then didn't really need it (thank goodness). I'm trying to enjoy every smile, every noise, every movement, because I know this time is going to go incredibly quickly. I still don't know when I will return to work, but even while I'm home with him I know he will change before my eyes and I don't want to miss a second of it.

Fun with the toddler

Baby Girl loves helping change her little brother's poopy diapers. She's always asking if he has pooped. Today she started air drumming. Her favorite part is the cymbal. At the end, she says "my mom rocks and my dad rolls" while making the two finger rock and roll sign and then rolling her arms. Cracks me up! Tonight we had salads for dinner and she actually did really well, even once the ranch dressing was gone. She had bell peppers, lettuce, cheese carrots, mushrooms, tomatoes, ham, turkey, and hard-boiled eggs. It seems that the rule of "absence makes the heart grow fonder" holds true for Baby Girl and food. Her current favorite foods seem to be eggs and peanut butter, foods we weren't able to introduce until a few months ago. She is currently making up things that Baby Boy is saying in his babble. She swears he just said "elephant".

One Week

How has it been a full week since I gave birth to this little man sleeping on my chest? How has it ONLY been a week since he came into our lives? At one week old, Baby Boy isn't doing much other than eating and sleeping and he's doing a ton of both. When he was born, he slept A LOT. We were going 3 and 4 hour stretches between feedings, which was okay with me at the time! Little did I know that the sleepiness was a byproduct of his jaundice. Once my milk came in on Day 3 we stopped counting wet diapers because we could no longer keep track because he was eating so well. We went to the doctor for a check-up on day 5 and he suggested that we start waking Baby Boy every 2 hours to eat to help him sleep longer at night, so we have been doing that. Last night was the first night that we didn't have an extended wakeful period, so I think that's a win! The big thing that we've noticed over the past couple of days has been an increase in happy wakeful periods. We're typically getting two per day and each is about an hour long. He is content to lay in your arms, on a Boppy, in the swing, or in the Rock n Play. He makes happy little noises, looks around, and shows little smiles (which obviously aren't real smiles, but they are nice anyway). Baby Boy sleeps best on someone's chest (which I am currently enjoying), but has spent extended periods of time sleeping in the swing and in the Rock n Play. The goal is to get him sleeping in the Rock n Play overnight, but I am loving this snuggly period and enjoying every second (as opposed to my time with Baby Girl--I remember feeling trapped under her). We've noticed that Baby Boy tucks his left foot up under himself when he sleeps on us and turns it a little funny. It's something we'll keep an eye on. This past weekend (first noticed on Sunday at 6 days old) we found that Baby Boy's eyes have changed from dark grey-blue to a brown with some gold. I'm guessing they will be very dark like his big sister's. Stats: Birth (Monday) weight: 8 lbs 10.5 oz Birth length: 20.5 inches Discharge (Wednesday) weight: 8 lbs 2 oz Doctor (Friday) weight: 8 lbs 10 oz (68th percentile) Doctor length: 20 inches (51st percentile) Doctor head circumference: 36 cm (50th percentile...) Everything at the pediatrician checked out okay. While the doctor was pleased with his weight, he still wants to check it again this coming Friday. He also noticed that Baby Boy has a little bit of asymmetry in his hips, so at a month old we'll be going for a hip ultrasound. We had a hip ultrasound for Baby Girl because she was breech, so we've been through this before.

Another Update

I had my follow-up doctor appointment today.  No more progress.  Nothing.  The 7 hours of contractions I had Wednesday night did nothing measurable.  Still 1 cm, soft, thick, 0% effaced, head not engaged.  My doctor says she'd give me a 50% chance of definitely vaginally at this point.


She did strip my membranes (again), which hurt like a son of a bitch.  Hopefully it's more effective than last time and will kick-start labor, but I'm not holding my breath or crossing any fingers or anything.  I'm crampy, as I would expect.


I did gain 2 pounds in 3 days, which I thought was impressive.  :)


My C-section is now scheduled for Thursday, May 3rd at 4:00 p.m.  I'm happy that I'm going to get almost a full week to go into labor on my own, but bummed about the time of day.  4:00 p.m. is fairly horrible when you've got a kid you want to introduce to her baby brother.  


The timeline of my last C-section was:


Scheduled start time: 8 a.m.
Delivery time: 9:04 a.m.
Back to recovery: 10 a.m.
Finally able to lift my butt up enough to be sent to my room: noon
Get settled into room and finally get to have my baby: 1 p.m.
Get to EAT (will have to stop eating at 8 a.m. next Thursday): it was either 3 or 4 p.m.


Shift all of that the appropriate amount of hours and it's going to be a LATE night for everyone.  


Emotionally I'm feeling really pessimistic and depressed about the whole thing.  I feel doubtful and frustrated.  I'm also really not looking forward to all of the "you're still pregnant?" and "you poor thing" and "when are you due?" and all of that for the next 6 days.  

Eviction

I've been making a major effort to evict this little man.  I think I've walked at least a mile every day for the past week and a half or so, the longest being on Saturday night when I walked with a friend for 2 miles around a track at the YMCA and then another 1+ miles at the mall.  Last night I walked 1.65 miles around my neighborhood and just now I walked 1.75 miles close to work.  


Last night's walking might have done some good, actually.  Around 9:00 I started having regular contractions every 5 minutes or so that were starting to get painful, so The Hubby and I decided to go to bed around 9:45 in case it was going to be a long night.  We decided to try another eviction strategy (basically doing what got Boomer in there in the first place, ifyouknowwhatImean), which wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.  My contractions had already gotten fairly painful before then and continued to be 5 minutes apart and slightly painful for most of the rest of the night.  I fell asleep around 11, then was awake 12:30-2, 2:30-3:30, and 4-4:30 timing contractions. After falling back asleep at 4:30, I woke around 6:00 to find that my contractions had pretty much stopped.  Ugh.  How frustrating.  All throughout the night I'd been telling myself that I just needed to make it to morning and then we could take Baby Girl to the sitter and we could go to the hospital, but that obviously didn't need to happen.  


I've been in a funk all day, frustrated that nothing really happened last night.  I've been losing mucus plug since Tuesday's doctor appointment and have definitely been having some contractions, but nothing measurable since early this morning.  


We go back to the doctor tomorrow morning and I'll be interested to hear what she has to say.  I'm hoping she'll have something positive to say, but I honestly don't know.  It doesn't feel like Boomer has dropped any more or is engaged and I fear that's because of his big head.  *Something* has changed in there, though, because the pain I've been feeling has shifted and is on both sides of my pelvis instead of focused on the left side.  That's got to be something, right?  I'm guessing she'll sweep my membranes again and we'll hope that it does something.  I have VERY little hope that anything is going to happen overnight tonight, though.


Stay tuned, as everyone else is...

My Big Girl

I look in the rearview mirror at her, marveling at how she got to be so big so fast.  I remember the last days of her being inside of me, wondering what she would be like.  I listen to her telling us all of the facts she's learned about planets, making observations, making logical connections that seem far beyond her years, getting distracted by some cows along the way.  I remember holding her at bedtime last night, noticing that she doesn't fit into my arms the way she used to.  She still fits, just in a very different way.  We have to navigate those long legs somewhere in my lap now.

I look down and can feel her hand in mine--no longer her hand wrapped around my finger, but now walking with her, hand in hand.  Her hands and feet don't remotely resemble a little baby anymore.

I see the way her entire body has been changing recently.  Her thighs barely have any evidence of the rolls that used to reside there.  Her whole torso is flattening out.  She can wear her 24m and 2T shorts from last year because she's gotten thinner around her tummy, even though they might be a little short.  She's changing from a toddler to a little girl.

I marvel at all of the things she's learned.  She can ride her scooter like a pro.  She can get her socks on all by herself.  She can spell names and identify letters and count.  She knows facts about the planets and about plants and about dinosaurs.  She can sing songs without any help from us.  She can go potty and do it all (except wiping her tushie, of course) on her own as long as she has her little step stool.  I can't remember the last potty accident we had.  She can even turn on and off the faucet and wash her hands all by herself and then articulate when she can't reach the towel to dry her hands.

I can't help but be a little sad at the baby I've lost, but at the same time I'm looking forward to seeing what other surprises she has in store for us as she grows.  She amazes me every single day and while it makes me sentimental to look at her and reminisce, I can't wait to see what she turns into.

39 Weeks

How am I feeling? About the same, honestly.  The emotional frustration and exhaustion is weighing much more heavily than the physical pain.  I'm anxious about not knowing how or when Boomer is going to arrive (much more the HOW than the when).

The physical pain I've been experiencing comes and goes and shifts locations.  I think it has to do with where Baby Boy is at that point and what he's putting pressure on.  I can push through it, though, except when it's time to put on socks and shoes--The Hubby had to do that for me today at the doctor.

I'm still sleeping well with just one wake-up per night to go pee and I'm not having trouble getting back to sleep, so I'm definitely blessed in that sense!

I had one day where my feet were totally swollen, but I just haven't worn those shoes again and haven't had any issues anymore.

Weight thoughts: Gained 0.3 pounds this week--woo!  I don't think I've been eating any less, but who knows.  Honestly not worried about it at this point.

Doctor appointments? I had one this morning and it was slightly encouraging, if you're me.  I think The Hubby is still feeling pretty pessimistic.  The doctor said "this is a very different appointment than any you've had thus far" in the sense that my cervix was really soft and dilated to 1 cm.  It was soft enough that she was able to sweep my membranes, but still long (0% effaced).  Baby is still at -3 station.  She said he's starting to drop a little further down into my pelvis, but still not engaged and "sort of floaty".

I told her about my contractions (basically that they'll be regular for a few hours, but then nothing) and she seemed encouraged.  She said that we could cancel the C-section and go another week or so if we wanted since the baby isn't in any distress and I'm doing fine (my BP was 106/58 today).  I looked at The Hubby, who wasn't much help.  I told them that my gut was telling me to wait and neither of them argued, so I guess that's what we're going to do.  I still have this nagging guilt that my ILs have made plans to take time off on Friday (my FIL is self-employed, so it's hard for him to schedule a day off and my MIL's work isn't very flexible with time off), but I think I need to do what's best for my family and I truly believe that me not having to recover from a C-section is best for my family.  So we're postponing.  Because my doctor had already cleared her calendar for Friday morning, she suggested we come back in for another check.

I'm still feeling crampy and am hoping that that continues through the day and turns into something.  I'm going to go take a walk in a little bit and a friend offered to go walk some night this week as well.  The Hubby offered to throw everything we have at getting labor started--he said we'd get some spicy food, walk around the mall, and "get busy".  I told him that if he's interested in getting busy with this (as a pointed to my body), then he could have at it.

I had actually written an entire blog post about this Friday being a deadline, but it's now changed to an entirely different deadline.  It seems like this will be my last prenatal appointment and decision time.  If I've not delivered by then, we'll be deciding when to schedule the C-section and the condition of my cervix on Friday will determine how much longer we wait.

Movement? Boomer still moves quite a bit in the evenings, but his movements during the day have slowed down quite a bit.  Last night he was moving so much that it was hurting me, but I still tried to enjoy it because I know soon he'll be all wiggly on the outside.  He's mostly rolling around, but I'm still getting plenty of jabs and kicks, too.  He gets the hiccups once or twice a day and I actually felt them in a really odd place last night--the lower left quadrant of my stomach.  Based on what my doctor felt, it seems as though I was feeling his back convulse with the hiccups.

Baby preparation? On Sunday we did some cooking and cleaning.  We made: 5 pounds of taco meat, 6 pounds of shredded BBQ pork, and I cooked a whole chicken, shredded the meat, and then made chicken broth.  Tonight I'm hoping to make two quiches (I have some ham that needs used up) and some bran muffins to freeze.  I'd also like to do a batch of bagels, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to get all of that done tonight.  I also have the ingredients to make some teriyaki chicken--it's a recipe I found on Pinterest that just requires you to throw all of the ingredients into a baggie, then dump it into a crock pot when you want to cook it.

The Hubby and I are starting to wonder if Boomer doesn't want to come out until he has a name.  We're narrowed down to two names.  One is the name we had picked if Baby Girl had been a boy and the other is a new name (to us).  I think we both like the new name better, but it is alliterative with our last name and neither of us is sold on that.  So we're still struggling, but determined to make a decision sooner than later!  We can tell it's affecting others because Baby Girl won't name any of her baby dolls, either, and told me last night that we'd name Boomer when he got here.  :)

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Yesterday Baby Girl told both The Hubby and me that "I think Boomer is going to come today".  I was really hoping she had some sort of intuition, but that wasn't the case.  She told me again today, though, that she thinks maybe he's going to come today.  Hopefully she'll be right sooner than later.... 

Meal Plan: 4/22 - 4/28

The theme for this week is EASY.  I just don't feel like cooking and I don't feel like having to give my husband much guidance so he can cook, so we're going with easy recipes from now until Boomer arrives, especially since we made up some freezer meals yesterday and will do more tonight.

Sunday: Quesadillas from leftover pulled pork taco meat, corn, sliced raw bell peppers, rice
Monday: Hot dogs and Mac & Cheese (blue box, baby!)
Tuesday: Pestofredo Chicken--I didn't get around to making this last week
Wednesday: Pasta and meatballs
Thursday: Brinner--pancakes, sausage, maybe some eggs
Friday: Who knows.  I'm sure at some point this week we'll break down and eat out and it will push the meal plan back
Saturday: Again, who knows.  Boomer is due Saturday, could conceivably come via scheduled C-section Friday....or he could still be hanging out in there on Saturday.

One Week?

I want to apologize up front for the spastic nature of this post.  I'm feeling very emotionally overwhelmed right now and need to get some feelings out.  I feel like my friends are probably tired of hearing me stress about all of this, so I'm posting here.
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As I mentioned in my 38 week update post, there are plans in place for a C-section on April 27th (one week from today--thus, the title of this post).  I, however, feel in my heart that I'm not ready to give in and have a C-section that day unless my doctor thinks it's medically necessary.  I'll re-assess this on Tuesday after my doctor checks me for progress; if I'm still "closed up tight" I think we'll have some serious decisions to make, but if I'm starting to dilate, I think we'll go another week.

The problem is, I don't feel like I have the support of the people closest to me.  My in-laws are planning their lives as if this baby is coming on the 27th.  My mom doesn't seem to understand why having a vaginal birth is so important to me.  My husband doesn't really think a vaginal birth is in the cards for us.  This last one is the part that is so painful for me.

We talked about it this morning in the car.  Because our doctor wanted to schedule a C-section and seemed very pessimistic as of our 37 week appointment about our VBAC opportunities, The Hubby accepted her word as gold.  This past week, though, I felt like she was a little more optimistic since my cervix did start to soften some.  I've also been feeling more optimistic based on some things I've read online--that it's really not that late for me to be dilating, that only 5% of babies never turn from sunny side up, although up to 30% are in that position at the beginning of labor--not to mention the fact that I've been feeling crampy, like maybe something is happening in there.  I told The Hubby that I was thinking that we'd probably cancel the C-section and he told me that he would support me in *my* decision.  The problem is, I want this to be *our* decision.  I don't want to be the one dictating everything.

I asked him if he had confidence that my body could deliver this baby vaginally and he was really unsure.  He said that based on the doctor's opinion, he didn't think it would happen.  I told him that I needed him to believe in me and my body and that we could do this or else I won't have to strength to make it through the labor that may be coming.  That's when he told me that he didn't think he could change his gut feeling.

We rode in silence for awhile and didn't really talk about it more before getting to work.  I just want to have my husband completely with me.  I don't want to feel like I'm pushing against him, or even just making the decisions on my own.  At this time, I need him WITH ME.  I'm already doubting my body's abilities enough--I need someone else in my corner who believes in me, my body, and this baby.  It doesn't seem like that person is going to be my husband.  I don't think he is fighting against me, but I also think he doesn't have any confidence that we'll get a VBAC and therefore just wants to take the scheduled C-section.  He told me that we can always reschedule it if I wanted to give my body the chance to make progress, but it definitely made me feel like he was just saying what I wanted to hear and that he was pretty sure the end result would be the same.

The whole conversation was really disheartening, to say the least.  I'm doubting my ability to birth a child and I don't have anyone who fully believes that I can do this--at least no one that's going to be in that delivery room.  How hurtful.

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I want to do an entire post about the emotional aspects of my C-section and the impact it's now making on my hopes for a VBAC, but am not sure I can find the words.  I'm going to leave you all with someone else's words (sent to me by a friend) that I hope help explain at least some of the emotions that I'm feeling right now: Do you write a scheduled c-section birth story?  Hopefully at some point I can find my own words to express the same ideas and incorporate it into how this impacts my hope for a VBAC.