Screw you, mommy

Seriously.  No matter how much time I spend trying to put Baby Girl to bed at night, I feel like she gives me a big ol' Fuck You every single night.  She cries and yells every night.  She's not winding down well, no matter how long we spend trying to have quiet time.  I sing and sing.  We sit in silence.  We read books.  She drinks milk.  We snuggle.  It doesn't matter what I do, she cries.  And it's gotten to the point where I wonder why I bother trying and don't just throw her in her crib, blow her a kiss, and walk out the door.

Argh.

And the worst part?  She's worse for her daddy than she is for me. 

Partial giveaway results

I'm sorry, y'all...I've been neglectful.  But the good news is that a winner has been identified and contacted.  Tricia was the winner of the giveaway and her coupons were put in the mail yesterday!  I hope you enjoy, Tricia!

Reasons for my neglect:
1) Busy times at work
2) No laptop power cord at home
3) No energy at any time...the kid has been waking between 4:45 and 5:15 every morning for weeks and we have no idea why.  We think the bottom 2-year molars are imminent, but they haven't poked through yet and if they're anything like her other teeth, they will take a few more months to completely come in.  We tried feeding her more last night and we've tried getting her to bed earlier and later with no difference.  She transitioned during the time change just fine, but now here we are. 
4) I want to type up my entire transaction at the grocery...and I just don't have the time.  But the receipt goes everywhere with me and today or tomorrow I WILL type it up and show you what I did.  But it's not nearly as impressive as you all seem to think it will be.  You ALL were way under in your guesses.

But I'm going to leave you in suspense for now what my actual total was...because I feel like it merits an explanation. 

Okay, I'm going to say it...

Baby Girl has been sleeping through the night for a week now.  Let's hope tonight is night number eight. 

She slept through the night on Thanksgiving night while we were at my parents' house.  She was totally worn out from the day and not getting a good nap, so we figured it was a fluke.  But then she did it the next night.

What was different about sleeping at my parents' house than at our own house?  Well, she was in a pack-n-play in the same room with us.  And we also had a space heater on, making it like 80 degrees in the room (my parents don't have heat or a/c upstairs b/c it's such an old house).

So we figured we'd try making her warmer at home.  We've started putting on a long-sleeved onesie underneath her pajamas.  And yesterday I went out and got her some fleece jammies (that are SOOOOO cute!!! These are them.)

And she's been sleeping through the night ever since. 

Seriously, kid?  You've just been COLD??????

Of course that hasn't been the case this entire time, but it's been our fix now.  Just wish we could've figured it out a few months ago!

Sleep update

I really hesistate to do this, but I'm putting it out there.  Baby Girl has slept through the night for the last four nights. 

There, I said it.  And I'm sure tonight she'll be up around 1.

At the end of last week, she started to get sick.  Since she was acting normal besides the river of snot, we went ahead with our plans to cut out overnight nursing.  The first night was rough, but she slept through the night that next night (I think that was Friday).  The Hubby and I were both getting sick and didn't want to deal with her when she woke up in the middle of the night Saturday night, so I nursed her.  She got up again Sunday night and The Hubby and I worked with her...after being up for over 2 hours.  But since that night she's been sleeping all night long.

She actually defies all the baby laws and sleeps better when she's sick, so who knows if this will last now that she's on azithromycin for her latest double ear infection (ugh....), but we're keeping our fingers crossed that this is it.

But now it's time for a confession.  I sort of miss her.  I've felt better, though, since she's been falling asleep while nursing, which makes an extra long nursing session.  Love that (for now) since I know our nursing time is coming to an end.  I'm down to pumping 3-4 ounces a day at work, but she's still nursing like normal when I'm around her.  She hasn't gotten frustrated by the lack of volume, so we'll keep doing it. 

I am SO happy to be getting some sleep, though, finally, especially since The Hubby and I have had this same cold since last weekend and then I had my three remaining wisdom teeth pulled yesterday.  It's good to get some reliable sleep.  She's been waking around 5--sometimes for the day and sometimes to fall back asleep nursing.  Not sure if we're going to try to discourage that or if we'll just roll with it until it starts moving toward 4.  Just playing it by ear for now. 

Odd, but good

Had a weird day today.  Woke up at 6:00 to realize that I'd just (technically*) gotten 9 straight hours of sleep.  That's right, Baby Girl didn't wake up and cry at all last night.

* I say technically because both The Hubby and I woke up repeatedly, waiting for her to get up.  Isn't that always how it goes?

Anyway, we were all in pretty good moods and hung out together in bed for awhile.  This is some of my most cherished time, even though it's not fun snuggle time.  Oh no, it's Baby-Girl-trying-to-sit-on-our-faces time.

But then we got up, had some breakfast, then Baby Girl and I went and met a friend at her craft bazaar.  We had a great trip, Baby Girl was charming, as always, and it was nice to do something different and see a good friend.  Baby Girl loved greeting all the people and they seemed happy to see the little lady in the Buckeye cheerleader outfit (besides the older gentleman who asked if she was a boy or a girl...in a dress)

The Hubby and I had decided that we needed to try one nap this weekend because when trying two naps last weekend we got no good sleep from Baby Girl.

On my drive home from the bazaar, Baby Girl fell asleep.  Of course. 

Many people think this might be a good thing, but if Baby Girl falls asleep in the car, it's all over.  It means she's not going back to sleep anytime soon and it's impossible to move her from the car to her bed sleeping (this was even true when she fell asleep after bedtime and slept a full hour in the car). 

We got home, had some lunch, nursed, then decided we'd try to put her down.  After she'd been up there for about 10 minutes, The Hubby went to check on her since he heard weird noises and discovered that she'd pulled the cords to her wave machine and her lamp into the crib and was playing with them.  He removed them from the crib and told her to go to sleep.  After about 20 minutes more, we heard another weird noise and I went up.  She'd gotten the cord again, but this time I noticed that it stunk, bad.

Of course, she'd pooped.  *sigh*  And this was no normal poo.  It was huge.  And stinky.  And a near blowout.  Yuck.  Guess it's a side effect of the cold.

So I changed her (with some distraction by Daddy that I enlisted).  Then I moved her crib a foot away from the wall.  I tried to get her to go to sleep on my shoulder, but she wasn't having it.  I left her in her crib and she stayed up there, happily, for another 40 minutes or so.  At that point The Hubby got her and brought her back down.

She was really pleasant.  We went outside and enjoyed the beautiful weather we've been having (mid-70's in mid-November?  Yes, please!) then played inside some.  When she rubbed her eyes (around 3:30 by this point--you know, at the start of the Buckeye game), we (The Hubby) tried to put her to bed.  She slept, but only for about 40 minutes.  And when she woke up, she was CRANKY.  Ugh.  Like signed for milk, I held out my arms for her to come see me, and she melted down in the middle of the living room floor cranky. 

Dinner finally arrived (The Hubby begged for pizza, so I finally gave in) and she ate 1 1/2 slices of Papa John's pizza.  And then she was happy.  Apparently she was just hungry.  Guess that's what a massive poo will do to you.

So then we had a great time watching the second half of the game.  It's a good thing she slept through a lot of the first half...it was ugly.  But the second half was fun, Baby Girl was fun....it was good.

Our highlights (besides the actual football):

Baby Girl showed us the sign for "loss of down" when the ref did it--amazing how much attention she pays to these things!

Baby Girl repeatedly held her arms up for "touchdown"

Daddy and Baby Girl danced around (mostly marching) when we'd score a touchdown.  He and I would sing the fight song while they danced and when we were done, she'd clap.  And then she'd twirl in circles until she fell down.

Yep, she was getting a bit slap-happy.  But it was adorable and she was SO much fun.  She would hide around the corner, then jump out and giggle like crazy.  I was actually a bit sad to see her go to bed.  Luckily, she went down easily, which surprised both her daddy and me.  I'm just hoping she stays there for awhile, especially since I'm headed to bed now.  My throat hurts worse than I remember it hurting in a VERY long time.  I think it's just some post-nasal drip going on, but wish either the cold would really start (snot coming out of my nose, that is) or it would just go away.  This sore throat is awful. 

Good night!  And Go Bucks!

Bad bad bad

(this is a raw, painful post.  if you can't handle it, read no further.)

We are in the midst of the absolute worst night I think we've ever had.  Bad enough that I'm considering cancelling the party on Saturday.  Bad enough that I just walked out the door with my car keys and phone and thought about not telling The Hubby where I was headed.  Bad enough that I just WEEDED.  (I don't weed)  Bad enough that I'm burying myself in my computer.

I don't know what's wrong with this kid.  I feel like a failure for not being in tune enough to her to have any idea what's going on.  Friday July 9th through Thursday July 15th were perfect.  Baby Girl was happy, took good naps, slept through the night...  Every night since has been awful.  She's fought bedtime, fought every single nap.  She's screamed and screamed, been whiny all day long, been fussy.  And then she'd stop and be the sweetest, most charming little lady in the world.  We haven't ever dealt with anything like this for teeth, so it *could* be teeth, I suppose.  She's not really messing with her ears and isn't running any fever, so I don't *think* it's a fever (but it could be).

I honestly want to leave.  I hate what Baby Girl has done to my self-esteem.  I hate feeling like this.  And I hate feeling like I want to leave.  I want to love this baby an want to be with her and still be able to see the positive through this.  I have friends who say they've never been to where I am right now and it makes me jealous and makes me feel even more like I don't know what I'm doing and I'm not meant to be a mommy.

And I'm going to hit publish now.  I might regret it later, but I need to get it out there.

So much for that

I was going to write this really nice, reflective post today about Baby Girl's sleep.  And she still slept okay last night, so that's not really why I say "was".  I'm just not in the mood after the way she's been acting today.  She's been clingy and cranky--two words I would NEVER use to describe my baby.  She has no fever and has been chewing on everything, which makes me think (hope?  pray?) that it's her teeth and not another ear infection.  I noticed the two teeth on either side of her middle bottom teeth are just below the surface on Thursday. 

And then there's that pesky top right tooth.  Most people think it's actually already in because her gums are so white, but it's looked like that for WEEKS (almost a month).  So who knows.  Maybe we'll get all three this weekend.  Or maybe my baby has a raging ear infection and I'm ignoring it by just chalking it up to teeth.

This would be a lot easier if she could talk and tell me what, exactly, hurts.  Oh, and if she'd take her finger out of her ear (which she does whether she's got an earache or not). 

This could be a long weekend.

Last Night

Yes, it's another post about my baby's sleeping habits. I feel like I'm becoming obsessed and all-consumed by getting her good sleep. I don't really care if she sleeps all night long, but just feel like she should be getting better sleep than she is.

Last night I nursed her at 6:30 like I typically (pre-DST, that is) do. Afterwards, she didn't show much sign of being tired, so we let her play a bit downstairs. DH carried her upstairs around 7:30 (I think? It was once she started showing some sleepy signs), read her her story, then I went upstairs and sang and rocked her to sleep. He put her down in her crib and all of a sudden she was wide awake again. She just sat and giggled at us. After handing her off to DH, I always sit in the rocker pretending to be sleeping, so DH curled up on the floor and we both pretended to sleep. Eventually (probably about 20 minutes later...ugh) she just laid down and fell asleep. If we could just get her to do that without us in the room!

She slept until about 10:30, when DH told me that she didn't seem sleepy, so I fed her. She still didn't really fall asleep eating, but DH got her to go to sleep eventually in her crib.

Baby girl then woke back up at 3:00. DH spent a half hour with her, then tagged out and I took over at 3:30. I tried patting and shhing, I tried just rubbing her back (when she'd lay down), I tried leaving her alone (she was fine for about 10 minutes while I sat in the rocker with my eyes closed, but then got pretty upset), I tried turning on the nightlight (we'd turned it off a few weeks ago)...but she was still awake. Eventually, I went and got the queen-sized quilt that was folded in our linen closet, opened it up a bit, and laid it over her and tucked the sides in a bit. I turned down her white noise, rubbed her back a couple of times, and then just stood over her crib and she fell asleep. Not sure if the changes I made made a difference or if she was just exhausted, but she slept until we woke her at 6:20.

Of course then I returned to bed and I couldn't fall asleep. I ended up laying awake until almost 4:30, watching The Price of Beauty (what can I say? The picking of overnight TV are pretty slim...I typically watch Roseanne, but at 4:00 Three's Company comes on that channel...and I used to watch Flintstones at 4 a.m., but wasn't in the mood.). ~yawn~

sleep.

Sleep has been an incredibly challenge over the last 7 months. We started doing some sleep training a few weeks ago (2/18) and really found something that worked. Each night baby girl would wake up a little less and needed less soothing before falling asleep. Last weekend her sleep got worse again. Her napping is never very good at home with us and we started to wonder if teeth were upon us.

Fast forward to this past Thursday night. Baby girl slept 9 hours straight! I was planning on writing a blog post on Friday about it--how we'd finally had a breakthrough. Friday was a weird evening, keeping baby girl up about 1 1/2 hours past her bedtime. She still slept 6 1/2 hours straight, ate, then went back to bed for 3 more hours. Great news!!!

Saturday night, though...she was up every 2-3 hours. She's inconsolable. With our sleep training, DH* picks her up, soothes her, then puts her back in her crib. He'd do that for an hour, though, last night, with no success--she was still screaming like she was in some major pain. So after awhile, he'd bring her to me to feed her. She's eat, fall asleep, and rinse & repeat 2 to 3 hours later.

Again, we're thinking maybe teeth. She's gnawing like crazy on everything. She's drooling more than ever before. But we also know that her sleeping well at night depends on her taking good naps. She DID take good naps yesterday, though, with horrible results overnight.

I'm writing now because I have to do SOMETHING while DH is upstairs with her. Tonight is a record. We put her down around 6:50 and she's back up, screaming her head off, at 8:45. She's so desperate in her shrieking. I can't handle it. It always makes me cry. She's quiet right now, but I'm guessing DH is still holding her.

I hope she's better overnight during the week this week. This is making the weekends not nearly as desirable...but that's for another post.

*DH does the training b/c we're fairly sure if I went in there, she'd expect to be fed and wouldn't give up until I fed her. And I'd also probably give in before he does, as I know I have something that will ALWAYS soothe her and can't stand seeing her in so much apparent pain when I know I can do something to make it better.