Friday, January 10, 2014

I'd expected this day, but not necessarily so soon

To say things at work have been stressful would be an understatement. In fact, things are downright ugly. I come home every night wound-up, frustrated, and irritable. Add on top of that the fact that neither kid has been sleeping through the night and Baby Boy was up 4 times last night and you've got one mess of a mommy.

At pick-up at the sitter today, Baby Girl was being overly silly. She wouldn't sit still to put her shoes on and wasn't listening. We were already running late and just wanted to get home. I was wrangling the little one while Hubby was trying to get her out the door and the sitter was talking to me about her plans for the summer at her new house. As we walked out to the car, Hubby had a very stern talk with Baby Girl, telling her that she wasn't being a good listener and that she'd do time out if she ever behaved that way again. We got in the car and Baby Girl says, "I wish you guys didn't have that job." "What job?" we ask. We initially think she means our paying jobs, that she resents that we have to work at all and we're prepared to launch into the speech about how important money is. But then she says that she wishes we didn't have the job of being her mommy and daddy. After some clarifying conversation, she admits that she wishes we weren't her mommy and daddy. 

I told her that she hurt our feelings very badly, then turned on some music so we could consider our response. I told her about all of the nice things we do for her that many parents wouldn't do. We make up stories from scratch every night. We snuggle in her bed every night. We cook her yummy, healthy food. We comfort her when she's scared in the middle of the night. We let her crawl into our bed when she's scared. We coddle her for hours when she crying before bedtime, claiming that she's afraid someone will break into our house.

Eventually we're all silent, save the 20 month old asking for his water or some pretzels, oblivious to the conversation happening around him, and the sound of my sniffles. I later told her that we could start showing her how mean we could be and listed what we'd stop doing, which elicited many tears from her.

The remainder of the thirty minute car ride was spent mostly in silence, again, save the little man. She eventually says that she was sorry and that she didn't mean it and we make up, but I think Hubby and I are both still feeling pretty awful. She was so hurtful with her words and I know it's only going to get worse. 

1 comment:

Manday said...

I meant to comment on this a long time ago (like when you first posted it), but didn't get to it. Funny how the Kindle changes my writing habits. Anyways, sorry you had to deal with this, I am sure it sucked. My only piece of advice is the same advice I feel like I am always giving these days - don't take it personally! She doesn't actually mean it and its just a stage.