Friday, April 27, 2012

Another Update

I had my follow-up doctor appointment today.  No more progress.  Nothing.  The 7 hours of contractions I had Wednesday night did nothing measurable.  Still 1 cm, soft, thick, 0% effaced, head not engaged.  My doctor says she'd give me a 50% chance of definitely vaginally at this point.

She did strip my membranes (again), which hurt like a son of a bitch.  Hopefully it's more effective than last time and will kick-start labor, but I'm not holding my breath or crossing any fingers or anything.  I'm crampy, as I would expect.

I did gain 2 pounds in 3 days, which I thought was impressive.  :)

My C-section is now scheduled for Thursday, May 3rd at 4:00 p.m.  I'm happy that I'm going to get almost a full week to go into labor on my own, but bummed about the time of day.  4:00 p.m. is fairly horrible when you've got a kid you want to introduce to her baby brother.  

The timeline of my last C-section was:

Scheduled start time: 8 a.m.
Delivery time: 9:04 a.m.
Back to recovery: 10 a.m.
Finally able to lift my butt up enough to be sent to my room: noon
Get settled into room and finally get to have my baby: 1 p.m.
Get to EAT (will have to stop eating at 8 a.m. next Thursday): it was either 3 or 4 p.m.

Shift all of that the appropriate amount of hours and it's going to be a LATE night for everyone.  

Emotionally I'm feeling really pessimistic and depressed about the whole thing.  I feel doubtful and frustrated.  I'm also really not looking forward to all of the "you're still pregnant?" and "you poor thing" and "when are you due?" and all of that for the next 6 days.  

Thursday, April 26, 2012


I've been making a major effort to evict this little man.  I think I've walked at least a mile every day for the past week and a half or so, the longest being on Saturday night when I walked with a friend for 2 miles around a track at the YMCA and then another 1+ miles at the mall.  Last night I walked 1.65 miles around my neighborhood and just now I walked 1.75 miles close to work.  

Last night's walking might have done some good, actually.  Around 9:00 I started having regular contractions every 5 minutes or so that were starting to get painful, so The Hubby and I decided to go to bed around 9:45 in case it was going to be a long night.  We decided to try another eviction strategy (basically doing what got Boomer in there in the first place, ifyouknowwhatImean), which wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.  My contractions had already gotten fairly painful before then and continued to be 5 minutes apart and slightly painful for most of the rest of the night.  I fell asleep around 11, then was awake 12:30-2, 2:30-3:30, and 4-4:30 timing contractions. After falling back asleep at 4:30, I woke around 6:00 to find that my contractions had pretty much stopped.  Ugh.  How frustrating.  All throughout the night I'd been telling myself that I just needed to make it to morning and then we could take Baby Girl to the sitter and we could go to the hospital, but that obviously didn't need to happen.  

I've been in a funk all day, frustrated that nothing really happened last night.  I've been losing mucus plug since Tuesday's doctor appointment and have definitely been having some contractions, but nothing measurable since early this morning.  

We go back to the doctor tomorrow morning and I'll be interested to hear what she has to say.  I'm hoping she'll have something positive to say, but I honestly don't know.  It doesn't feel like Boomer has dropped any more or is engaged and I fear that's because of his big head.  *Something* has changed in there, though, because the pain I've been feeling has shifted and is on both sides of my pelvis instead of focused on the left side.  That's got to be something, right?  I'm guessing she'll sweep my membranes again and we'll hope that it does something.  I have VERY little hope that anything is going to happen overnight tonight, though.

Stay tuned, as everyone else is...

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

My Big Girl

I look in the rearview mirror at her, marveling at how she got to be so big so fast.  I remember the last days of her being inside of me, wondering what she would be like.  I listen to her telling us all of the facts she's learned about planets, making observations, making logical connections that seem far beyond her years, getting distracted by some cows along the way.  I remember holding her at bedtime last night, noticing that she doesn't fit into my arms the way she used to.  She still fits, just in a very different way.  We have to navigate those long legs somewhere in my lap now.

I look down and can feel her hand in mine--no longer her hand wrapped around my finger, but now walking with her, hand in hand.  Her hands and feet don't remotely resemble a little baby anymore.

I see the way her entire body has been changing recently.  Her thighs barely have any evidence of the rolls that used to reside there.  Her whole torso is flattening out.  She can wear her 24m and 2T shorts from last year because she's gotten thinner around her tummy, even though they might be a little short.  She's changing from a toddler to a little girl.

I marvel at all of the things she's learned.  She can ride her scooter like a pro.  She can get her socks on all by herself.  She can spell names and identify letters and count.  She knows facts about the planets and about plants and about dinosaurs.  She can sing songs without any help from us.  She can go potty and do it all (except wiping her tushie, of course) on her own as long as she has her little step stool.  I can't remember the last potty accident we had.  She can even turn on and off the faucet and wash her hands all by herself and then articulate when she can't reach the towel to dry her hands.

I can't help but be a little sad at the baby I've lost, but at the same time I'm looking forward to seeing what other surprises she has in store for us as she grows.  She amazes me every single day and while it makes me sentimental to look at her and reminisce, I can't wait to see what she turns into.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

39 Weeks

How am I feeling? About the same, honestly.  The emotional frustration and exhaustion is weighing much more heavily than the physical pain.  I'm anxious about not knowing how or when Boomer is going to arrive (much more the HOW than the when).

The physical pain I've been experiencing comes and goes and shifts locations.  I think it has to do with where Baby Boy is at that point and what he's putting pressure on.  I can push through it, though, except when it's time to put on socks and shoes--The Hubby had to do that for me today at the doctor.

I'm still sleeping well with just one wake-up per night to go pee and I'm not having trouble getting back to sleep, so I'm definitely blessed in that sense!

I had one day where my feet were totally swollen, but I just haven't worn those shoes again and haven't had any issues anymore.

Weight thoughts: Gained 0.3 pounds this week--woo!  I don't think I've been eating any less, but who knows.  Honestly not worried about it at this point.

Doctor appointments? I had one this morning and it was slightly encouraging, if you're me.  I think The Hubby is still feeling pretty pessimistic.  The doctor said "this is a very different appointment than any you've had thus far" in the sense that my cervix was really soft and dilated to 1 cm.  It was soft enough that she was able to sweep my membranes, but still long (0% effaced).  Baby is still at -3 station.  She said he's starting to drop a little further down into my pelvis, but still not engaged and "sort of floaty".

I told her about my contractions (basically that they'll be regular for a few hours, but then nothing) and she seemed encouraged.  She said that we could cancel the C-section and go another week or so if we wanted since the baby isn't in any distress and I'm doing fine (my BP was 106/58 today).  I looked at The Hubby, who wasn't much help.  I told them that my gut was telling me to wait and neither of them argued, so I guess that's what we're going to do.  I still have this nagging guilt that my ILs have made plans to take time off on Friday (my FIL is self-employed, so it's hard for him to schedule a day off and my MIL's work isn't very flexible with time off), but I think I need to do what's best for my family and I truly believe that me not having to recover from a C-section is best for my family.  So we're postponing.  Because my doctor had already cleared her calendar for Friday morning, she suggested we come back in for another check.

I'm still feeling crampy and am hoping that that continues through the day and turns into something.  I'm going to go take a walk in a little bit and a friend offered to go walk some night this week as well.  The Hubby offered to throw everything we have at getting labor started--he said we'd get some spicy food, walk around the mall, and "get busy".  I told him that if he's interested in getting busy with this (as a pointed to my body), then he could have at it.

I had actually written an entire blog post about this Friday being a deadline, but it's now changed to an entirely different deadline.  It seems like this will be my last prenatal appointment and decision time.  If I've not delivered by then, we'll be deciding when to schedule the C-section and the condition of my cervix on Friday will determine how much longer we wait.

Movement? Boomer still moves quite a bit in the evenings, but his movements during the day have slowed down quite a bit.  Last night he was moving so much that it was hurting me, but I still tried to enjoy it because I know soon he'll be all wiggly on the outside.  He's mostly rolling around, but I'm still getting plenty of jabs and kicks, too.  He gets the hiccups once or twice a day and I actually felt them in a really odd place last night--the lower left quadrant of my stomach.  Based on what my doctor felt, it seems as though I was feeling his back convulse with the hiccups.

Baby preparation? On Sunday we did some cooking and cleaning.  We made: 5 pounds of taco meat, 6 pounds of shredded BBQ pork, and I cooked a whole chicken, shredded the meat, and then made chicken broth.  Tonight I'm hoping to make two quiches (I have some ham that needs used up) and some bran muffins to freeze.  I'd also like to do a batch of bagels, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to get all of that done tonight.  I also have the ingredients to make some teriyaki chicken--it's a recipe I found on Pinterest that just requires you to throw all of the ingredients into a baggie, then dump it into a crock pot when you want to cook it.

The Hubby and I are starting to wonder if Boomer doesn't want to come out until he has a name.  We're narrowed down to two names.  One is the name we had picked if Baby Girl had been a boy and the other is a new name (to us).  I think we both like the new name better, but it is alliterative with our last name and neither of us is sold on that.  So we're still struggling, but determined to make a decision sooner than later!  We can tell it's affecting others because Baby Girl won't name any of her baby dolls, either, and told me last night that we'd name Boomer when he got here.  :)


Yesterday Baby Girl told both The Hubby and me that "I think Boomer is going to come today".  I was really hoping she had some sort of intuition, but that wasn't the case.  She told me again today, though, that she thinks maybe he's going to come today.  Hopefully she'll be right sooner than later.... 

Monday, April 23, 2012

Meal Plan: 4/22 - 4/28

The theme for this week is EASY.  I just don't feel like cooking and I don't feel like having to give my husband much guidance so he can cook, so we're going with easy recipes from now until Boomer arrives, especially since we made up some freezer meals yesterday and will do more tonight.

Sunday: Quesadillas from leftover pulled pork taco meat, corn, sliced raw bell peppers, rice
Monday: Hot dogs and Mac & Cheese (blue box, baby!)
Tuesday: Pestofredo Chicken--I didn't get around to making this last week
Wednesday: Pasta and meatballs
Thursday: Brinner--pancakes, sausage, maybe some eggs
Friday: Who knows.  I'm sure at some point this week we'll break down and eat out and it will push the meal plan back
Saturday: Again, who knows.  Boomer is due Saturday, could conceivably come via scheduled C-section Friday....or he could still be hanging out in there on Saturday.

Friday, April 20, 2012

One Week?

I want to apologize up front for the spastic nature of this post.  I'm feeling very emotionally overwhelmed right now and need to get some feelings out.  I feel like my friends are probably tired of hearing me stress about all of this, so I'm posting here.
As I mentioned in my 38 week update post, there are plans in place for a C-section on April 27th (one week from today--thus, the title of this post).  I, however, feel in my heart that I'm not ready to give in and have a C-section that day unless my doctor thinks it's medically necessary.  I'll re-assess this on Tuesday after my doctor checks me for progress; if I'm still "closed up tight" I think we'll have some serious decisions to make, but if I'm starting to dilate, I think we'll go another week.

The problem is, I don't feel like I have the support of the people closest to me.  My in-laws are planning their lives as if this baby is coming on the 27th.  My mom doesn't seem to understand why having a vaginal birth is so important to me.  My husband doesn't really think a vaginal birth is in the cards for us.  This last one is the part that is so painful for me.

We talked about it this morning in the car.  Because our doctor wanted to schedule a C-section and seemed very pessimistic as of our 37 week appointment about our VBAC opportunities, The Hubby accepted her word as gold.  This past week, though, I felt like she was a little more optimistic since my cervix did start to soften some.  I've also been feeling more optimistic based on some things I've read online--that it's really not that late for me to be dilating, that only 5% of babies never turn from sunny side up, although up to 30% are in that position at the beginning of labor--not to mention the fact that I've been feeling crampy, like maybe something is happening in there.  I told The Hubby that I was thinking that we'd probably cancel the C-section and he told me that he would support me in *my* decision.  The problem is, I want this to be *our* decision.  I don't want to be the one dictating everything.

I asked him if he had confidence that my body could deliver this baby vaginally and he was really unsure.  He said that based on the doctor's opinion, he didn't think it would happen.  I told him that I needed him to believe in me and my body and that we could do this or else I won't have to strength to make it through the labor that may be coming.  That's when he told me that he didn't think he could change his gut feeling.

We rode in silence for awhile and didn't really talk about it more before getting to work.  I just want to have my husband completely with me.  I don't want to feel like I'm pushing against him, or even just making the decisions on my own.  At this time, I need him WITH ME.  I'm already doubting my body's abilities enough--I need someone else in my corner who believes in me, my body, and this baby.  It doesn't seem like that person is going to be my husband.  I don't think he is fighting against me, but I also think he doesn't have any confidence that we'll get a VBAC and therefore just wants to take the scheduled C-section.  He told me that we can always reschedule it if I wanted to give my body the chance to make progress, but it definitely made me feel like he was just saying what I wanted to hear and that he was pretty sure the end result would be the same.

The whole conversation was really disheartening, to say the least.  I'm doubting my ability to birth a child and I don't have anyone who fully believes that I can do this--at least no one that's going to be in that delivery room.  How hurtful.

I want to do an entire post about the emotional aspects of my C-section and the impact it's now making on my hopes for a VBAC, but am not sure I can find the words.  I'm going to leave you all with someone else's words (sent to me by a friend) that I hope help explain at least some of the emotions that I'm feeling right now: Do you write a scheduled c-section birth story?  Hopefully at some point I can find my own words to express the same ideas and incorporate it into how this impacts my hope for a VBAC.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

38 Weeks

How am I feeling? I'm in a lot of pain.  I'm not going to lie--it's fairly miserable.  I have been feeling near constant pain whenever I move for the last 3 weeks or so.  I can't come up with a better way to explain the location but to say that if you imagine where the legholes of your underwear hit your legs, it's there.  It hurts whenever I move--when I change positions in my chair, when I walk, when I roll over in bed, when I bend over.  I cannot lift either leg independently without a large amount of pain, so I sit to put on underwear, pants, and shoes.  It's worse on the left side (I think Boomer is still a little to that side), but that evens out a bit if I sleep on my right side for a night.  I've also noticed I can relieve the pain a little bit if I take a full-sized pillow, double it over, and sleep with it between my thighs.

I've had VERY small amounts of swelling, but I think they can mostly be attributed to the warmer temperatures, eating a lot of ham this weekend, and doing a lot of walking.

I did notice this week that my complexion is changing.  If I don't wear makeup I can see definite darkening on my left cheek and back toward my hairline on the right side of my face.  It's splotchy and not really that attractive.  I'm just glad I've got a darker complexion so it isn't as noticeable.

Lastly, I am having contractions.  They still feel like Braxton Hicks, though, in that they don't hurt at all.  When I slow down and pay attention, I can notice them every 10 minutes or so when I'm having them.  I actually haven't noticed any this morning, which is a little odd, but yesterday I felt them most of the day, even though I was fully hydrated and didn't exert myself any more than normal.

Weight thoughts: As predicted, I gained like 4.5 pounds from last appointment.  I pointed out to my doctor that I'd lost 3 pounds between the two previous appointments and that just meant a 2 pounds (or so) gain over two weeks.  She seemed fine with that.

Doctor appointments? I had an appointment on Tuesday.  BP remains fine (102/60, I think?).  My doctor said that my cervix "is beginning to soften" and "is closed up tight".  Gee, those are some really encouraging words.  But she seemed a bit more optimistic and said that while it's good to have the C-section on the books, if I show more progress at my next appointment (next Tuesday) she'd let me go for another week.  So I'll keep on walking and praying.

She took my fundal length and sort of giggled.  I looked at her and said, "over 40 weeks?" and she just sort of chuckled and nodded.  Yep....I'm huge and so is this baby, I fear.

Regarding the C-section.  I want to do a larger post on the way I feel about a VBAC versus a C-section, but I did want to say that I'm feeling some pressure from my family to do a C-section.  They don't *get* why I wouldn't want to do it, plus it's so much easier to plan that way.  My ILs already took the day off for next Friday and have plans to come down that morning and stay for some of the weekend.  I feel like I should keep the appointment just for everyone's convenience, which seems so silly as I write it.  But then I was thinking last night while I was doing Baby Girl's bedtime how much I would miss it if I was recovering from a C-section.  I'll be in the hospital longer and won't be able to do nearly as much when I get home.  A VBAC recovery would be a lot easier with another little one already in the house.  So I'm still going back and forth with what I want to do.  The Hubby is being supportive with whatever I choose and I think we'll have more of a discussion after next Tuesday's appointment.

Movement? Boomer's movement has definitely slowed down, but he still gives me some reassuring rolls and kicks every once in awhile.  Yesterday he got stuck on my left side and was giving me some major pain during a meeting, but after I walked back from the meeting, I didn't feel him there anymore.

I also wanted to mention that Boomer now has hiccups at least once or twice a day.  It's so fun to feel, as I've only been feeling it for the last week or two.  I hope they continue.  I remember that Baby Girl had way more hiccups than he has and those continued outside the womb.  At one point this week Baby Girl and Baby Boy *both* had the hiccups at the same time.  Adorable!

Baby preparation? I don't think we've really done much since last week.  The hospital bag is constantly in whatever car we're in.  I think we're down to two names.  If I'm feeling up to it this weekend, I'd like to do some freezer cooking and we're also planning on getting our laundry caught up and our refrigerator cleaned out so if our parents are spending time at our house they don't have to deal with our messes.


This morning I got two different comments about my pregnancy within about a minute.  When we were dropping Baby Girl off, the sitter looked at my and told me that I'd gotten huge.  I laughed and told her about how big my doctor is measuring me.  Then when we were leaving another mom was coming to drop off her little girl and commented on how I was the happiest pregnant woman she'd ever met and that I looked pretty.  Two very different comments very close to each other!  I can see the pity and humor in my coworkers' eyes, though, as they watch me waddle around.  

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

37 Weeks

How am I feeling? Physically, pretty rough. Since last night I have been crampy and have had some backaches. Nothing horrible, but it feels like something is going on. I hope I'm right, but feeling very doubtful.

I'm tired, achy, and really irritable. Last night my anxiety hit an all-time high (before any of the physical symptoms started) and it hasn't really stopped since. So yeah...I'm ready to be done, which is a place I NEVER hit with Baby Girl.

Weight thoughts: One piece of good(-ish) news...according to the doctor's office, I've lost 3 pounds in the week since my last appointment. LOL It was a regular digital floor scale, so I'm sure I'll gain 5 pounds by the next appointment if I go back to the other scale. But my home scale was telling me that I'd held steady, so that's good to hear.

Doctor appointments? This is where this is going to get really long. I had an appointment on Monday. It was scheduled for 3:30 to get a good ultrasound picture of Baby Boy so we could figure out how big he was.

The easy answer is that he looks healthy.

The longer answer is that we will very likely be scheduling another C-section.

The story:

My appointment was at 3:30 and I didn't see my doctor until 5:15, which means The Hubby missed the actual appointment because he had to leave to go pick up Baby Girl. I was already really frustrated (and weepy) by the time I went back to the room, then found out that it looks pretty sure that we'll be scheduling a C-section. My cervix hasn't changed whatsoever (still VERY firm and closed, she said), making the doctor pretty sure that it isn't going to enough to make a vaginal delivery easy or possible. I realize that there are many people who have progressed quickly after having a closed cervix, but I'm just going off of what my doctor said. Boomer's head is actually bigger than Baby Girl's, which is saying something. When the doctor measured it, it was the size of a 41+ weeker, not a 37 week baby. It was measuring in the 99.5th percentile. Combine those two pieces with the fact that he's face up (which is not the way you want to deliver a baby) and it just doesn't look likely that we're going to be doing a VBAC. I know a lot of people don't understand why I want one so badly, but I just do. And it makes me feel like my body is failing me, like it isn't doing something right.

But the good news is that Boomer is big and healthy and we're going to have a wonderful little boy sometime in the next 3 weeks. And I know that that's what is really important. According to her estimates (which could obviously be off), he's already 7 lbs 6 oz, which is bigger than Baby Girl was when she was born. His head was huge, his abdomen was measuring in the 77th percentile and the length of his femur (upper leg bone) was 21st percentile, which means he'll be shaped a lot like her--short with a big head.

The doctor said I could still have my water break and could still go into labor, but she wasn't very optimistic about our chances for a VBAC. So we're still waiting to see what's going to happen. I did get a message this morning that she's scheduled my C-section for Friday, April 27th at 8 a.m., just in case. After the cramping and then waking up to a belly that I think has dropped some, though, my hope is restored slightly that my body was just being slow. I have another appointment next Tuesday morning and will be praying for some progress.

Movement? Baby Boy is still moving all over the place a lot. I keep thinking it will slow down, but it hasn't yet. He has definite routines, though, and I typically know when he's going to be really mobile, so it surprised me last night when he was moving all over the place before and during dinner, which was also when the cramping started. It was really odd. He still really responds to peanut butter. I hadn't had any in awhile, then had some this morning for breakfast and he's been doing a jig in there since.

Baby preparation? Over the weekend we did get a hospital bag mostly packed. I apparently don't have a shirt to wear home in the bag, but that's a minor detail, right? :) Because we'd removed Baby Girl's car seat to put it in my mom's car while she was babysitting, The Hubby put it back into the car it came from behind the passenger seat (it had been behind the driver's seat). She's loving the new point of view and we decided that we wanted the infant seat where the passenger could get to the baby. After the cramping and things from last night, we put the hospital bag into the car this morning and even loaded up the base for the infant seat. It isn't installed, but at least it's with us. We also contacted the people who we're hoping will watch Baby Girl if we have an unexpected arrival and made a plan with that. So we could have this baby today (please....) and I think we'd be okay.

Monday, April 9, 2012

"I think it's time"

Alternate title: "Things you shouldn't say to your sleeping husband after having a late-night discussion about your plans for when you go into labor when you're not actually in labor"

Last night we sat and talked through all of the different options for what we're going to do when I go into labor (the discussion mostly centered around an unexpected water-breaking incident).  There are lots of complications--the biggest of which being our little lady who could very well be deep in sleep in her bed.  We tossed around all of our options and finally settled on our preferred outcomes, knowing that we can't control a damned thing.  At least we can prepare our family and friends for the possibilities.

This morning I woke up to use the bathroom and, based on my early morning calculations (I keep my clock approximately 25 minutes fast), noticed that The Hubby was late getting out of bed.  I said, "Honey, wake up.  I think it's time"....meaning that it was time to get up for the day.  He was groggy and confused and startled and asked "Time for WHAT?" and I told him that I just meant it was time for him to get into the shower.  But the look on his face told me what he'd thought I'd meant.


I later realized how that might have been received and retracted my statement and apologized.  I had to apologize on Friday, too, for calling him without leaving a message, then having my phone on silent (I'd thought I'd turned the ringer on, but I didn't) so he couldn't call me back to make sure I was okay.  We've since agreed that I'll text him with any baby-related updates.

Guess I need to be more careful about these things...

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Meal Plan 4/8/12 - 4/14/12

I officially turned 37 weeks yesterday--full term!  I will have a pregnancy update tomorrow after our doctor appointment.  For now, though, you get our weekly meal plan.

This week is going to be fairly busy.  Tomorrow we have a doctor appointment at 3:30, so we might be running a little late getting home that day (I anticipate the doctor will be running late and we usually leave work around 4:30).  Wednesday night our realtor is coming to the house to talk about changes we need to make to be able to put our house on the market.  Thursday night a friend and I are taking a cupcake decorating class as part of my Christmas gift to her.

Sunday--Ham & Cheese Braid (based on a suggestion here)  We'll be celebrating Easter with my parents next weekend, so I'm going to leave the major cooking for then.  I might make up a cheesy potato casserole to go with the braid.

Monday--English Muffin Pizzas with Salad and frozen veggie  I've been wanting to do this for awhile, as I'm sure Baby Girl would love to make her own pizza.  I couldn't figure out any sides that would go with it, so we'll just be having lots of veggies.

Tuesday--Not So Dirty Dirty Rice  A carryover from last week that we didn't get around to making

Wednesday--Cayenne/Avocado Chicken  We made this a week or two ago for cooking club and when I saw avocados on sale and The Hubby mentioned wanting to grill on Wednesday, I immediately thought of this.

Thursday--Pulled Pork Sandwiches with mashed potatoes  I saw pork loin on sale at the grocery store and thought that would be good for a night we needed a crockpot meal.  It was between this and pulled pork tacos and the BBQ won out this week.  I'm going to buy those frozen mashed potatoes to speed up the meal.

Friday--Pulled Pork Sandwiches with Pasta Roni and cornbread 

Saturday--"Easter dinner" or just eating out with my parents

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Becoming Adults

I've been wanting to write this post for awhile now and just haven't been sure how to frame it.  Do other bloggers get writing anxiety like this?  I don't consider myself a great writer at all, so I'm jealous of people who can easily express themselves eloquently and still include some humor to make the reader interested.  While the subjects of my blog posts are typically for record-keeping for myself, I want to make them interesting for my readers so I can keep my readers, too.  I'm an attention whore like that, apparently.


You would think that after being out of college and having a full-time job for 9 years, co-habitating (officially, that is...) for about 7 years, being married for 5 1/2 years, and being parents for 2 1/2 years, The Hubby and I would consider ourselves adults.

You'd be wrong.

You see, we'd fallen into some horrible habits, especially when it comes to housekeeping.  We just didn't really do it.  And there's no one to blame but ourselves, really.  It's not like it happened when Baby Girl arrived--no, we just never did much cleaning.  We'd clean: 1) when someone was coming over 2) when The Hubby got a bug up his ass randomly motivated 3) when we needed dishes to cook or 4) when we realized that we were living like those gross people on Hoarders.  For realz, people.  Gross.  And this went on for a very long time.  We'd let things pile up for weeks days, get really, really annoyed, and then go on a cleaning spree that would wear us out.  Then we'd want to take a break from cleaning because we'd just spent an entire day cleaning and doing laundry and the cycle would begin again.  We kept saying to ourselves, "isn't it nice to have a clean house?  Why can't we keep it this way?"  And then we wouldn't.

But that all changed toward the beginning of January.  It had nothing to do with a resolution or anything.  It might have been a teensy bit of nesting.  But something made me realize that if we just did a little bit each night, we wouldn't get stressed by the grossness that we were living in, we'd have dishes to cook with, and we'd have clean clothes without buying 30 pairs of underwear (which we each still EASILY have).  So I just started doing it.  And I've done it almost every night since.  While dinner is cooking, I'm putting away the dishes from the dishwasher and sometimes working on other cooking projects (like freezing fruits for my smoothies).  After dinner is done, we I put our dishes directly into the dishwasher (which is now empty!), then go in and clean off the counters, package up leftovers, and sweep the floor in the kitchen and dining room.

Am I exhausted most nights?  Do I miss out on some time with Baby Girl?  Do I wish I could just veg out and do nothing?  You betcha.

And do you think The Hubby caught on quickly?  Of course not.  It took until just this week the beginning of March (yes, I've been working on this post for well over a month) (I started this cleaning routine around January 6th...) for him to actually put his dishes into the dishwasher or to wipe off a counter.  But his contributions started at the perfect time because I've been feeling pretty rough these last few days (months?) and really needed the help.  It was really nice to see that the kitchen was cleaned when I went to get Baby Girl's milk before bed, even if I did notice that the countertop could have been cleaned a little better...  [edited to add: his contributions have been severely lacking recently, unfortunately, but he has been doing some things that I can't--namely, the lawn]

I finally, officially, feel like an adult.  I know what it's like to live in a house that I'm not embarrassed to have people see, generally.  Is our bedroom currently a wreck because we didn't put away a couple of loads of laundry?  Yep.  Has any dusting been done in the last 3 months?  Nope.  But our kitchen counters are clean, we don't have more than 2 loads of dirty laundry, and our floors are cleaner than they used to be.  We need to get into a better routine with changing our sheets and maybe start dusting, but it's definitely progress.  And that's what counts.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

36 Weeks

How am I feeling? I'm feeling some not-so-fun things at this point.  Today I had my first experience with pain directly caused by baby.  I thought I had a stomachache because of some gas or something digestion-related, but found that it got better when I walked around the office.  After about 3 hours of pain, I decided to try some yoga poses to figure out if baby would move and make me feel better.  I got down on my hands and knees and did some stretching and felt better almost immediately.  Yes, it involved time on my gross cubicle floor, but it was totally worth it.  I haven't been in pain since.

Except in my leg...  I have a band of pain that circles the joint where my thigh and pelvis meet.  My doctor today said she thinks it's sciatica, but I disagree.  I guess it's possible, though, as I've felt a teeny bit better after getting Baby Boy to move away from my left side and more toward the middle (this happened when I did the yoga poses).  Either way, it hurts to move my legs independently, which means putting on underwear, pants, and shoes when standing has been really painful.  Walking hasn't been particularly comfortable, either, so I've been hobbling around a 36 week pregnant woman.  My doctor's office is in the hospital down the street from my office, so we always walk to appointments, but that took a really long time today.  We'll see how I'm feeling next Monday before we decide if we're going to walk or drive to the doctor.

Weight thoughts: Up 2 pounds over 2 weeks this time.  Not bad, not great.

Doctor appointments?  As mentioned, I had one today.  My BP is still great (102/62, I think).  Today was my Group B Strep test and my first internal.  The strep test was not pleasant.  The internal was even less so.  The fact that I don't have any dilation was the worst of all.  I didn't really expect any, but was sort of hoping.

My doctor also still seems to think that Baby Boy might be on the big side.  She asked if I was bigger than I had been with Baby Girl and asked how big Baby Girl was.  She also was hesitant when she told me I was measuring 38...leading both The Hubby and me to believe that it was probably closer to 39 weeks.  She was able to tell during the internal that Baby Boy is definitely head down, which is good news.

Next appointment is next Monday (the 9th) for an ultrasound to get a more accurate estimate of Baby Boy's size and position.  I'm hoping to get him more engaged over the next week, but we'll see--I need to make myself realize that this is not something I can control.

Movement? Of course.  The doctor keeps asking about how his movement is and I keep telling her that I don't even feel the need for kick counts because he moves so much.  He was a little quiet after I got him repositioned, but then perked up while I was driving home.

Baby preparation? We have still done fairly little, it seems.  The last things I want to do are: pick a name, pack a hospital bag (got scolded by my doctor for not doing this yet), and do some freezer cooking so we have some meal prepared for the first few days (weeks?) after Boomer arrives.  Oh, and I also want to get him a gift from Baby Girl, get her a gift from him, and The Hubby says he's going to buy Boomer's coming home outfit.  So yeah...a few things to do still.

Meal Plan: 4/1/12 - 4/7/12

Yes, this meal plan is late, but it's been done since Monday afternoon because of our crazy Sunday.  It's a little haphazard, but I didn't spend an exorbitant amount at the grocery, so I think that's okay.  I can't wait for produce to become more readily available and, therefore, cheaper!

Sunday: We technically ate at our nieces' birthday party, but because the main dish was cold cut sandwiches, I ended up with a Taco Bell taco around 9 p.m. to top off my day of horrible eating (also had cold cuts for lunch at a baby shower....).  I ate chips, cake, and desserts most of the day.  ~sigh~

Monday: Pizza Hut pizza (grocery shopping didn't happen until after Baby Girl's bedtime that night and she'd requested pizza.  Remind me next time, though, that no matter how cheap it is, don't eat Pizza Hut pan pizza.  It just doesn't agree with me and never has.  I like their hand-tossed crust, but the buttery crust is just too much for me.

Tuesday: Taco Chicken Rice Bowls: My mom is watching Baby Girl Tuesday and Wednesday of this week so we needed something that made plenty since they'd both be eating it for lunch on Wednesday.  This was a recipe from my cooking club that we really enjoyed, so we decided to make it again.  My mom liked it enough to ask for the recipe and we all ate plenty of it, so I'd call it a winner!

Wednesday: BBQ Chicken Pizza: We have leftover chicken that was grilled last week that needs to be used ASAP, so I bought a shell and we'll make a pizza out of it.

Thursday: Grilled pork chops & corn on the cob: The grocery store had corn on the cob on sale this week.  I doubt the quality will be very good and the ears were really teeny, but we're going to give them a shot!

Friday: Coneys and tater tots

Saturday: Not-So-Dirty-Dirty-Rice: This is another one that we tried recently and loved and I made a point to bring it back to the meal plan.  It's pretty easy, really yummy, and I want to eat sausage until I don't feel like I should anymore (ie. after Baby Boy arrives).

For the record, I have no idea what we're doing on Sunday.  I'm tempted to make a nice dinner, but it'll just be the 3 1/2 of us, so it seems like a waste.  We'll see.