9 DPO and I'm obsessing

Yup, I spoke too soon when I said the 2WW was going smoothly and I hadn't been thinking about it too much. I've been feeling nauseous off and on for the last couple of days and have had some cramping recently. I've got to think it's PMS-cramping, but of course I wonder. Ugh. Will definitely be testing Monday morning--I can't wait any longer than that!!!

Obsessing. Day #239723598

At least it feels like I've been obsessing for that long....it's exhausting!

Took my temp this morning after a rough night of sleep because of storms. Up to 98.40 from around 98.0. A second thermal shift? Interesting. I got online and looked for information on a second shift and found info on triphasic charts. Apparently part of the time it means pregnancy. Interesting. So, of course, now I'm thinking about it. A lot.

It only means something if my temps stay high again tomorrow. If they drop, it was probably from the off and on sleeping. Of course, they could drop sometime in the next 3 or 4 days b/c of an implantation dip. Ugh! So many options that may or may not mean something.

Last night I was on early- pregnancy- tests.com and ordered 20 tests (at DH's request...I told him the options and that's what he chose!). Paid $16 for all of them. I'm hoping they ship today and get here sometime this weekend. They tout that they can detect pregnancy as early as 7 dpo, which is tomorrow for me. Of course, I won't POAS until I get the tests...but you'd better believe I will test as soon as I get them every morning until AF shows (which I'm guessing she will).

So yes, I'm still obsessing. And I think I need something new to obsess about. I'm going to dive into work for a little bit but will probably post again sometime today--hopefully about something else!!!

Must not think!

So as you know, I'm in the 2ww. It's my first full 2ww without major distraction since last month we were in NYC for part of it (and, well, I'm not really convinced I ovulated anyway). So now I can't stop thinking about being in the 2ww. I'm only at 5 dpo, which means I've got at least another week until either spotting or testing.

Knowing that my mind runs a mile a minute in every different direction, what the heck can I do to keep my mind off of it? I'm at work most of the day and, while at work, I can concentrate on work. Sort of. I work and while I'm working at least every hour or so I'm thinking about baby stuff. When I drive...thinking. Watching TV? Yup, you guessed it. So what that means is that I need something new to think about. Something that will take 100% of my brain power. I don't know if something like that exists.

What am I doing right now, besides writing this blog? Oh, I'm shopping for CBEFM (a fertility monitor) sticks since I'm convinced that this cycle didn't work. A friend has offered to give me her CPEFM (thanks!!!) and now I'm seeing how expensive the test strips are. Of course, I say I'm convinced that this cycle didn't work in my head. In my heart, though, I'm still hoping that this will be it. I'm still doing all I can (although that's not much at this point) to make this work. And I know I'll be really sad when AF shows up in a week. But then I'll want to have those test strips. And I'll want to have the Pre Seed...so we'll get it. DH says he wants to get it in hopes that we won't need it.

So now I'm blogging. Reading online. Working (of course). And trying not to think. But it doesn't work. I hope our baby, whenever we get one, knows how much they were wanted and loved, even before they were conceived.