Must not think!

So as you know, I'm in the 2ww. It's my first full 2ww without major distraction since last month we were in NYC for part of it (and, well, I'm not really convinced I ovulated anyway). So now I can't stop thinking about being in the 2ww. I'm only at 5 dpo, which means I've got at least another week until either spotting or testing.

Knowing that my mind runs a mile a minute in every different direction, what the heck can I do to keep my mind off of it? I'm at work most of the day and, while at work, I can concentrate on work. Sort of. I work and while I'm working at least every hour or so I'm thinking about baby stuff. When I drive...thinking. Watching TV? Yup, you guessed it. So what that means is that I need something new to think about. Something that will take 100% of my brain power. I don't know if something like that exists.

What am I doing right now, besides writing this blog? Oh, I'm shopping for CBEFM (a fertility monitor) sticks since I'm convinced that this cycle didn't work. A friend has offered to give me her CPEFM (thanks!!!) and now I'm seeing how expensive the test strips are. Of course, I say I'm convinced that this cycle didn't work in my head. In my heart, though, I'm still hoping that this will be it. I'm still doing all I can (although that's not much at this point) to make this work. And I know I'll be really sad when AF shows up in a week. But then I'll want to have those test strips. And I'll want to have the Pre Seed...so we'll get it. DH says he wants to get it in hopes that we won't need it.

So now I'm blogging. Reading online. Working (of course). And trying not to think. But it doesn't work. I hope our baby, whenever we get one, knows how much they were wanted and loved, even before they were conceived.