Thoughtful

One thing that people who know me well know is that I am always thinking. If I am performing one task, I am usually thinking about 3 other things. I'm constantly planning, thinking about my bank account, thinking about stuff going on at work...if I'm not thinking about or doing at least 3 things at once, there's something wrong, typically.

So I now have something else to concentrate on--this TTC thing. If I wrote here in this blog every time I thought about it, you all would be REALLY tired of hearing from me! But I know the people in my life are tired of hearing me talk about it, so, for today, I'm going to ramble (not that most of my posts aren't rambling...).

I'm at the end of the 2ww (the two week wait--for those of you non-TTCers or non-message boarders, it is the "two weeks" from ovulation until your period comes). For me, it's usually closer to about 10-12 days. I probably ovulated around Friday, May 2nd and it's currently 10 dpo (days past ovulation). Yesterday morning I started spotting and getting a bit of cramping. This usually doesn't happen this far in advance of my expected monthly visitor and, because I think all the time about all this, has got me wondering about implantation spotting/cramping. According to sources online, this can happen when the fertilized egg implants in the uterus and typically happens 6 to 12 days (9 days on average) after ovulation. I can't find anyone that I know that has actually had it happen, though.

So this has my hopes up. Will this be it? Will we get pg in the first month trying? I doubt it. My head REALLY doubts it. My temps have dropped (although they've dropped lots this month--it's been weird), I'm cramping and spotting and yesterday was really only 3 days before my period could show. So it's not out of the question for me to just be getting my period. But there's this inkling that it *could* be implantation spotting and, therefore, I'm considering it.

I said my head really doubts that I'm pg. As much as logic tells me I'm probably not pg, my heart just so much wants to be pg that I can't see straight. I know we just started trying...I KNOW it can take a long time to get pg...but there are people who get pg the first try and I want to be one of those people! lol

So here I am asking everyone I'm comfortable asking whether they've experienced implantation spotting. No one has said they have. And I'm sure they're tired of having me ask questions. And they think I need to calm down and not think about it. But that's just not me. It's not in me to not think about something for very long, which is why I had to give the preface about me...I know it's not like me, but that doesn't stop other people from thinking that I need to relax and not think about it so much. I mean, I'm only in the first month, I should relax and let nature take its course...and I'm trying, but that doesn't mean I don't think about it.

Note that I'm using the verb "think". I'm not saying I'm WORRIED. Just thinking. Pondering. Considering. Cogitating. Ruminating. Thinking.