More Firsts

It feels like this kid changes every single day. Just today, the day after she turned 6 months old, baby girl has had at least three firsts:

First food other than cereal. She had carrots. Not a huge fan, but ate a good amount of them. I made them for her--just steamed some organic carrots and mushed in the food processor.

First splashing in the bath. She never loved bathtime too much. Still doesn't *love* it, but she was splashing today and it was adorable!

First "stranger danger". I got done feeding her and DH took her to hand her to his mom...and she started screaming bloody murder. Up until today she'd been happy to go to anyone...so that wasn't the best first.

Six Month Stats

Baby girl's stats:

15 lbs 15 oz (50th percentile)
25 inches (30th percentile)
head circumference: 42 cm (60th percentile)

Her head size is finally evening out, so it's good to know she won't always be a lollipop.

Her weight has consistently been in the 50th percentile, which makes mommy feel really good--like I'm doing something right

Her height, though...she's going to be a shrimp! According to the doctor, she's had a steady decline in her percentile and has never been overly tall (never over 50th percentile), so it's not concerning. But it's a little weird for me--I'm 5'7" and my mom is 5'10"!

She got three vaccines via shot, one oral, then also got the seasonal and H1.N1 flu shots. So 5 pokes for her. :( She handled them really well, though, and stopped crying almost immediately after they were done.

To celebrate her birthday, mommy and daddy took her out to brunch (although she didn't get to eat) at Chick Fil-A, then dropped her off at the sitter's so she can get some good naps. Daddy went to work and I am going to do a little something for me--go shopping. Nothing exciting--I'm just going to do some dealing at the grocery store--but I hope I can actually relax a little bit.

Six Months

Six months old. Half a year. How did we get here, especially so quickly?


I cannot believe baby girl is six months old today. The past six months have been full of hugs, kisses, tears, sleepless nights...but more love than I could ever imagine.


It feels like so much has changed over the last month! At the end of December, she was barely getting the hang of rolling from her tummy to her back. Now, though, she's log rolling everywhere she wants without giving it a thought, sitting up steadily and, most recently (beginning Saturday, January 23rd), trying to crawl!


I was going to post about it earlier, but wanted to put it into the six months post. On 1/23 she got herself up on her hands and knees and started rocking, trying to crawl toward my mom. We hadn't ever seen her do this before! She can get her legs going (sometimes forward and sometimes backward), but her arms just don't know what to do yet. She'll get frustrated and eventually raise one arm toward her goal (typically a toy), then lunge toward it, ending in a faceplant. But it gets her where she wants to go.


If she really wants to move forward, she has figured out, though, that if she rolls onto her side, she can kick off and scoot forward some. So this kid is officially mobile!


Beginning 1/17, she also started eating cereal. We started her on rice cereal with some expressed milk mixed in. We quickly gave up on the milk and started using water, though, since she still ate it just fine. She really started to like it a few days into it and was eating about three tablespoons at a time. There was one problem, though--she got constipated. Not just she-hasn't-pooped-in-a-week constipated (she already did that), but screaming-like-a-little-banshee-because-the-poo-is-harder-than-Play-Doh-and-hurts-like-hell constipated. My poor baby. This screaming ended in me running to Kro.ger to get some pear juice, which has seemed to help, eventually (after she worked out all the old hard stuff). We've also switched her to oatmeal instead of rice, which seems to be working out better. As of last night, she's eating 1/4 cup of oatmeal once per day. Somehow we're supposed to start feeding her in the mornings...but with our morning schedules, I have no idea how that's going to happen. We'll work on it.


We go to the doctor today and I will update with her stats later. I expect that she'll be right around 16 pounds, but we'll see!


She's still solidly wearing 3-6 month clothes (thank goodness, since she still has some outfits she hasn't worn yet....) and I'd guess won't need to go up a size for another couple of weeks, at least.


She's also still wearing size 2 diapers. She could wear 3's (we put her in 3's for overnight, which has helped a ton with leaking), but I bought an overabundance of 2's, so she's still in those for a little while longer.


Her hair is finally starting to grow in a bit. It's relatively thin, but it's there! The stuff on top is definitely getting a bit longer. Hopefully she can have some pigtails by the time she's two. :)


She's ticklish now, more than ever. Her ticklist locations include under her arms, the back of her neck, her sides, the base of her ribs on her back, and her thighs if you get them just right.


She has recently started flailing her arms. We're not sure what it means, but it's cute (but dangerous if she's got a toy in her hands).


Her movements are all really deliberate now. It seems she's really gotten the hang of using those hands.


One of her favorite noises is to squeal and I just encourage it by squealing back at her. She thinks it's great.


Another way to make her giggle (which, by the way, is the greatest noise in the world) is to move your face toward her really quickly. Like if she's laying on the ground, I can stand over her and bend over toward her fast and she'll start kicking and giggling.


She still doesn't love the bath, but doesn't hate it. When trying to get her poo worked out, we gave her a warm bath. She and I sat in there for awhile together while she just played with (read: ate) her rubber ducky. We've given her a bath once in the inflatable rubber ducky, but still have a hard time bending over to clean her that way, so we're back to bathing with her.


Still no teeth :) We thought some were coming in, but we still don't see any signs of them.

Whining

I need to whine about whining.

I have a lot of things that are great in my life. DH and I both have job with great benefits. We have a beautiful daughter. We have family who love us very, very much. The people around us are (knock on wood) healthy and happy. We have a house. We have two working cars. We aren't struggling too badly financially.

Things are good.

But sometimes I want to whine about the little things. Yes, I try to keep perspective that others have it much worse. I know that. But that doesn't change the fact that I'm frustrated with some things in my life.

For instance, DD doesn't like to sleep. Yes, I realize that your daughter didn't sleep through the night until she was a year old and was up every 2 hours for those 12 months. And yes, mine is *only* up twice a night now and it isn't *that* hard to put her back down afterwards. But I am still utterly exhausted.

Also, DH is working quite a bit this week. No, he's not out of town overnight for weeks on end...but I'm getting DD and myself out the door most morning, picking her up most evenings, cooking dinner, and even doing bedtime by myself one night this week. It's more than I've tackled on my own before. I know I can do it. But it won't necessarily be fun.

Maybe I'm selfish.

Actually, I'm sure I'm a little bit selfish. I like to get a break every once in awhile. I already don't get much of a break, so when I'm looking at a week like this one coming up and realizing that it's ALL going to be on my shoulders (which I already feel like it is, at least emotionally), I'm nervous, anxious, and not looking forward to it.

And this is my blog and I can whine if I want to (and you can look forward to more and more whining, I have a feeling...I hate to whine to people who have it far worse than I do, so this is going to be my outlet...that way if you don't like it, you don't have to read it! ;) )

Answer Another Question: Regrets

This question came from both Brooke and OSUFish123, essentially. They wanted to know what my biggest regret is (if I have any).

I'd LOVE to be one of those people who says, "I live in the present and have no regrets about my past." I do try to look at my regrets in the mindset that if they hadn't happened, I wouldn't be where I am, but it doesn't make me not regret them either way.

In my youth, I was a cheater. I admit it, I sucked as a girlfriend.

In April 1996, I started dating D. I guess I should start out saying that D first dated my best girlfriend at the time, L. He realized that L. wasn't right for him and, Guess What!, I was. So we chatted a lot and once she started dating another friend of ours, we had the green light to start dating. D. and I were really pretty perfect for each other. We had different interests (I was a musician and he was an athlete), but always supported each other in our endeavors. We always had a great time together and I am pretty sure I was in love. I still think about him sometimes and think I could have married him if things had turned out differently.

But I digress. My BFF, J., was a guy. At 14, I wasn't mature enough to have a BFF that was a guy, but what 14 year old admits that to herself??? He was in music with me, so I was with him quite a bit during the school day. He was fun and made me feel good about myself. He also, somewhere in there, dated my friend L. He also cheated on L. with me while she was on vacation. *sigh* And that was when it started. We flirted...it started out as harmless...but it wasn't, really. It was harming D. and he didn't even know it. I convinced myself at some point that I was falling in love with J...but couldn't give D. up because I think I knew D. was better for me and would stay with me. D. found out about J. and, bless his heart, forgave me.

We were together through high school graduation, when we both went to different colleges. We emailed, called, and saw each other fairly regularly, but I ended up becoming friends with a different J...and you know what happened next. I cheated. And D. came for a semi-formal Spring Quarter and found out. It was over and I was devastated.

Like I said, I still think about D. I miss him. I saw him at our 10 year reunion and he was the same guy. He's married now and I hope he's happy. I would love to be able to be friends, but I just don't think it's possible on my end.

It's hard to label yourself as a cheater after cheating on one guy, even if it's with two different people. So enter T. I started dating T. a few months after D. and I broke up. He was an older man and I'd had a bit of a crush on him (he was in an organization I was a part of in college). We talked and became friends and then started dating in June 1999. Everything was great between us. He left for grad school August 2000 and thus started another long distance relationship.

And you know what happens next. I found another guy who was there, at my college with me. That's all he was...in the same location. So I cheated. Multiple times. And it was like I had two boyfriends. I broke it off with T. August 2001 (while I was living with his sister, no less). I missed him for a long time, too.

Oh, and if you're wondering, no, DH wasn't the guy I cheated on T. with. That guy turned into a total jerk. Goes to show you how much that was worth. But I've moved on, especially from the T. relationship. I realize now that it was all for the best in that situation--he married his best friend at grad school and they've got an adorable little boy.

I've never once cheated on DH. And I think that's how I knew he's the one; I never wanted to. I also know it's because of me--I'm a different person with him than I was with D. or T. I'm more confident--in myself and in his love for me.

I wonder at times what my life would have turned out to be like if I'd stayed with D. or T. If I'd stayed with D., I'd probably have been a better student and actually used my degree when I graduated. But I think everything that's happened has led me to where I am...and I'm pretty happy with where I am today. I wouldn't have the daughter that I have and I wouldn't be with DH--and those two things alone aren't possibilities I want to consider.

My newest mantras

I've been struggling a bit recently which is sort of why I haven't been posting here. I hate to be a complete downer and also don't want to seem ungrateful for the blessings that I have (and I do have many!). So I've been avoiding blogging. I'll be back soon, I promise.

But in the meantime, I wanted to post a couple of things that someone on a message board I'm a part of posted. I've been reading them to myself every morning when I get to work to help get me through a rough day.

St. Theresa's Prayer
May today there be peace within you.
May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.
May you use those gifts that you have received, an dpass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content knowing you are a child of God.
Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise, and love.
It is there for each and every one of us.

Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
- Reinhold Niebuhr

Eating Habits (with some TMI included)

As I think most of my readers are aware, I have lost a significant amount of weight over the last 5 years (wow, has it been that long?). To recap:

Spring 2005 to late June 2006 (my wedding) I lost about 40 pounds.
June 2006 to fall 2007 I gained back 20 pounds
Fall 2007 to March 2008 I lost 25 pounds
March 2008 (I think) I joined Weight Watc.hers and lost about 40 pounds before getting pregnant November 2008
During my pregnancy (November 2008 to July 2009) I gained about 50 pounds
Pregnancy to now, I've lost about 15 pounds

Whew! Quite the roller coaster! And that's not even detailing the drastic weight loss in high school and the crazy climb of 120 pounds from 1998 to 2005.

Because of nursing DD, I'm a little apprehensive about cutting calories, so I've decided to start tracking my food intake beginning today, just to see where I am right now. I have discovered, however, that it's really difficult to write down what you're eating without being aware of what it is. This is something I've always advised people of when they're trying to lose weight, so I'm not sure why it's so surprising to me, but it's taken me aback.

Knowing I was going to track my intake and also realizing that I should be eating more fruits and veggies, if not for my own sake, for the sake of my daughter, I bought some baby carrots, apples, oranges, and grapes at the grocery last night. I've been good today--been eating my fruits and veggies and not so much my processed foods...but my (TMI) bowels have taken a beating because of it. Just 15 minutes after finishing my grapes, I was on my way to the restroom. *sigh* Guess I shouldn't be making these changes so drastically.

I'm guessing I'll be able to keep this Oatmeal Creme Pie in my belly just fine... :)

A sitter

(no, don't read that with an 'h' inserted--she still only poops once a week....)

We officially have a sitter. Baby girl sat and played with a toy for over 15 minutes on Saturday. Woohoo! She's still not 100% stable (if we leave the room, we'll lay her down), but she much prefers sitting over laying. Of course, she still prefers standing over any of it... :)

A Milestone

Baby girl is officially able to roll both from belly to back and now from back to belly. She doesn't really want to get to her belly most of the time, but she can do it! She's been rolling onto her sides for a week or two, but last night used the blanket she was laying on to pull herself onto her tummy. Can't wait until she figures out she can now travel using these newfound rolling skills!

Stay tuned--in the next week, I'm guessing we'll officially be calling her a sitter. She's been sitting for a few minutes at a time, but still isn't really steady...not sure when we'll officially call it, but she's SO close! This morning was the first morning I got her undressed from her bedtime clothes with her sitting up.

Exhausted

DH and I were both sick. I woke up in the middle of the night (when DD woke me) with an upset tummy (very queasy). DH let me nap a bit on Sunday morning and I felt a little better. Ate a small dinner on Sunday. Still felt fairly bad on Monday, so we stayed home from work, as DH started feeling queasy on Sunday afternoon. I pretty much cared for DD from then on.

This weekend DD started shrieking like a crazy woman when we try to get her to go to sleep. It's always been a battle, but we figured we'd wait until we were feeling better to work on it. We also had a routine that had been working for us. All that has been thrown right out the window. We've been up every hour overnight with a shrieking child. Every time we try to put her down...more shrieking. Once she wakes up after we put her down, it takes her another hour to calm and fall back asleep.

I can't even explain how exhausted I am. I almost passed out leaning on her crib last night, trying to get her to sleep because I was sweating and still feeling somewhat queasy. We've spent many hours in the rocker/recliner in the living room, in the rocking chair in her room, with me or DH standing over her crib, and with her in bed with us. We don't sleep well when she's in bed with us because we're so afraid we'll roll over on her. It's to the point where I'm dreading going home and want to just stay at work today so I don't have to deal with putting her to sleep. I also don't want to go pick her up and hear how awful she was about sleeping today because I know the sitter will start to push letting her cry it out on us again, which we're not comfortable with, especially now that she's started this shrieking business.

I don't know what to do. I'm at my wits end and am on the verge of tears every second. I've been reading different methods...the one that speaks most to me is the Baby Whisperer...she doesn't advocate letting the baby lay and cry. Might try it. I'm just feeling very lost and like I've screwed my baby up royally by letting her sleep on us so much--now she doesn't know how to sleep on her own. We've swaddled her until now and it's worked okay...but now I think we need to get her out of it--that could be why she's waking so often now.

Of course, all of this could just mean she got whatever bug DH and I had and once she's feeling better she'll go back to sleeping just fine. Either way, it was time to make some changes, but I really didn't want to be forced into it in the middle of a week when feeling awful. How am I supposed to function without any sleep?