I wish I could have this mindset when TTC. I wish I weren't so aware of my body that I always know where I am in my cycle, whether I'm charting or not. I wish I could just "play it by ear" and "let nature take its course". I wish I could try without trying.
But I can't.
We've talked a lot about TTC in the next few months. I still don't know if I'm ready, but I also don't know if I'll ever be ready, really. I want to lose more weight. I want to save more money. I want to be making more money so we can afford daycare better. I want to move to a better school district. I want to own my body for a little while longer. But I don't think I want our kids much more than 3 years apart, if I can help it. And who knows how long it's going to take to get pregnant.
In other words, I still don't know what to do. Why can't I love sex and just go at it with my husband without protection and get pregnant whenever it happens? Why do I have to plan sex and still know whether it's likely within my ovulation window? Why do I have to overanalyze every little piece of this?