Friday, June 4, 2010


I'm a planner by nature.  I love it.  Then why am I so overwhelmed with the planning going on? 

I'm talking about Baby Girl's first birthday party.  I'm excited to work on the details, but keep getting stuck on the very first task on my list--the guest list. 


If we were to invite everyone we want, we could end up with 75 people in our house.  Our house is NOT made for 75 people.  We're not even sure if our house is made for 30 people.

We'd also end up with 65 people on my list and 10 on The Hubby's.  We can't have that. 

It's the extended family and the friends that are throwing us off.  With The In-Laws, we have five adults and three kids (one 3 year old and 2 almost-four-month-olds).  Then there's my parents (I'm an only child).  Then we need to also include my mom's cousin, her mom (who is like a grandma to me), my mom's cousin's daughter (who is like my sister), and her kids.  If we invite Nan (my great-aunt--mom's cousin's mom...did you get that?), we have to invite my grandma, since she's her sister.  If we invite that grandma, we have to invite my other grandma.  But my mom doesn't think either grandma will come if they don't have someone to come with (they'll have to drive an hour to get her), so that means we need to invite at least one of my aunts from each side.  Well, do we need to open it up to all of my aunts and uncles?  My parents are each one of five.  Then what about all of my first cousins?  And their kids?  And if we invite my aunts and uncles, what about The Husband's?  His mom is one of five and his dad is one of EIGHT. 

You see how it just grows and grows and grows?  And that's without talking about friends.  We're definitely inviting two couples that we're close to and have been since college.  But then I have a group of about 7 or 8 ladies who I'd love to invite--some with kids and some without.  Some of them I'm closer to and some I've gotten closer to recently.  I want them to come.  But if we're cutting the list down, they're the first to go, sadly. 

I just want to share this celebration with all the people who have been a part of Baby Girl's life, whether that's people who love her, the people who loved her before she was even conceived, the people who helped get me through those TTC times, or the people who have helped me not kill her.  (kidding.  mostly.)  I know my friends will understand, but they're not the ones I *want* to understand.  I mean, I do want them to understand the struggle, but I don't want to have to cut them off the list.

Ugh!  How frustrating!!!  Any suggestions on how to deal with this?  The location of the party is non-negotiable--it will be at our house.  We're cheap like that.

(this post didn't post as scheduled...but it's still applicable...I still haven't started any planning!)


Cassie said...

Oh geez. I wish I had some advice for you. We had a lot of people at Andrew's first birthday, too, but there were still quite a few people we invited who didn't come. So account for that, especially if it's family who maybe you don't see very often and who really haven't had a ton of interaction with your daughter. I don't know how close your family is, but my mom's side was never close, so not very many of them came to his party.

Do you have a big back yard for people? We've kept Andrew's parties pretty low-key and everyone hangs out in the backyard while we grill. Our house definitely isn't made for parties, either, but our yard is. Since her birthday is in July, you should have good weather at least!

Danica said...

Oh wow. I know my brother had at least 75 people if not more (OMG) for my nephew's first birthday. They used my SIL's Mom's condo's party house. Know anyone with a free party house?

Otherwise I'd par down the invite list to immediate family and a couple of close friends. Tough I know. That's what we're facing with Lauren's graduation party (that I have yet to plan and invite people to!).

Could you rent a tent to put outside and more so force people outside? Or set something up in the garage??

Good luck!!!!

Manday said...

Ah, the joys of guest lists. I hate them. I have been meaning to throw a dinner party for almost two years so far and have yet to do it because I can't figure out how to invite 8 friends without offending anyone.

some ideas -
(1) have multiple parties
(2) don't open the "aunt" can of worms - invite grandma, find out who will be willing to drive her, and invite the driver alone. My grandma has to be driven places and this is typically how it goes.
(3) have it outdoors or at a park so more people fit

thats all i've got. hope someone has an idea that can help!

Em said...

I think Manday's suggestion #2 is great for avoiding the extended family debacle.

You could also always have a family party and then have a more low-key bbq w/friends without all the theme stuff.

Mandy said...

We're in the same boat. A friend also suggested the park idea to me. I love the idea of not having to clean, but I am worried about the weather. It could be unbearable in mid-July.

Sarah Dee said...

could you invite grandma and guest?