I want this blog to be private-ish. I don't care if most people read it, but I don't go advertising that it belongs to me. I don't connect it with my FB account because I want to remain a little bit anonymous. But do people I know IRL read? Yep. But they all know that these are my thoughts and feelings and they can't judge me for anything I write here.
And I'm still incredibly careful about what I write. I have MANY posts that I want to write but don't feel I can because I don't want to offend someone. I have people I've wanted to complain about, but held back, for fear that they might read my blog. It's my blog, though. Shouldn't I be able to write whatever the heck I want on my blog?
The answer, you'll all tell me, should be yes. But it's not.
This is why so many people are going to private blogs. I don't *want* to go private--reading a private blog can be a hassle since you can't (that I know of) put them into your blog reader and, therefore, have to remember to check in every once in awhile. I like meeting random people through my blog--I've made a good friend because she found my blog (who I still have yet to meet in person...but someday!).
But is the risk greater than the reward? This is what I'm trying to decide. I'm tired of censoring myself, of worrying that someone I know IRL will find this blog and be mad at anything I might have written. I already take such care not to post anything that I wouldn't want read by someone I know, but then there are times I go back and read posts and think "eh, maaaaybe I shouldn't have written that because someone, somewhere could get offended". Do I need that added stress?
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4 comments:
Yes, someday we will meet! :) (I hope you were talking about me, otherwise I'll feel pretty stupid.)
This is a really hard issue, and I don't know exactly what to tell you. For my part, I do make an effort to refrain from writing about things that could offend someone. Sometimes I can't help myself when someone *cough cough* my mother-in-law *cough cough* really ticks me off, but I do try. If there's something on my mind that I need to get off my chest, but I don't feel like my public blog is the right place for it, I either talk to someone IRL about it or I write it in my journal. (Yes, I have a blog AND a journal...Is that odd?)
I don't have a very big readership, so I think this issue concerns me less than it would if hundreds of thousands of people read my blog, like they read Dooce's or Amalah's.
Honestly, nothing you have ever written has offended me in the least. If you do go private, I'll still be sure to check in, I promise. But I wish you would stop worrying so much about what other people think. I don't think people are nearly as quick to take offense as you seem to think they are (it depends on the person, of course). Unless you're straight-up talking crap about someone, I don't see how anyone could have a problem with what you write. Like you said, your opinion is your opinion, and you shouldn't have to compromise it. If that means going private, then by all means do...Just be sure I get access. ;)
I think you do a really really good job of hiding your identity so I wouldn't worry too much about speaking your mind on here.
Also, if it helps, I have been able to view the private blogs I follow through Google Reader without any problems. I struggled for a long time with the decision about whether or not to make ours private. But I figure if people really want to follow, they'll have no problem going that extra step to view it.
I get what you're saying. Totally. But, if you stop blogging I'll have no clue what is going on in your life. :( Which is odd since we live right off the same main street. (Even if it is at other ends)
When I get this feeling is about when I move blog sites. For all through college I had two blogs. While they were both technically public, one was friendly to parents and anyone who wanted to read, the other was more personal, and there was virtually no way to link me to the more personal one and I was of course very careful who I told about it. It was a good system for me.
Nowadays I occasionally write posts that I just don't publish. I also believe you can edit security on indv posts on blogger so just certain posts are private.
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