Friday, November 18, 2011

Conversations my husband and I have when the kid isn't around

Once you've been together for ten years and have a kid, when you aren't around the kid, you sort of run out of meaningful things to talk about.  Sure, we talk about our day, but when that topic is exhausted, what do you talk about?

Apparently, we talk about underwear.  Not just any underwear, but underwear that have some sort of a scent to them so that when you fart, you release a pleasant smell.  I had a few arguments about this: 1) at some point, even the pleasant scent will become related to the not-so-pleasant scent it's attempting to cover and 2) the underwear would need to be chemically designed to work WITH the foul odor to interact and create a new, pleasant scent.  And because everyone' different, you would have to have personalized undies.

And then we discussed what pleasant scents we would like to create.  My choices revolved around light, airy scents--baby powder, roses, and the like.  The Hubby, however, decided that he wanted his to smell like a turkey.  Or a pumpkin pie.  And then he decided that we'd have to design different undies for different holidays, both in patterns and for scents.  You could have one that smells like pine trees!  Or chocolate!

And that, my friends, is what happens when my husband and I are in the car together after a long day of work, without a toddler asking us questions like "what's that?" and "why?" and "what's that do?".


Cassie said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....This is FANTASTIC, and absolutely something Joe and I would discuss. Maybe I'll bring it up tonight. I've always said that mine smell like roses, anyway. ;)

Cassie said...

Coming back to say this: It would be nice if there was a pleasant scent, but the bottom line is that if the air suddenly smelled like someone's personalized scent (say, peonies, which would be what I'd want -- ha), everyone would still know you farted. (I'm thinking about this waaaaay too much, aren't I?)

Allison said...

lol That's very true, but at least then it would be "thanks for farting...AND for wearing those AWESOME underwear!" instead of "OH GOOD LORD GET OUT OF MY CAR!!!!"

crockpottuesdays said...

This is the best post ever. ;)