It seems like almost everyone I know has had a miscarriage and that scares the shit out of me. I just feel like it's everywhere and it makes me wonder if there really are people out there who have healthy pregnancies that go a full 9 months. Pregnancy is so incredibly fragile. I sort of felt like as I get further along in this first trimester I can relax a bit more, but then I read about people who m/c at 9 weeks (and later) and I panic all over again. I knew in my head that we couldn't relax much until we hit 12 weeks, but part of me was getting used to being pg and just trying to enjoy it.
I'm so scared. I wish I weren't. I wish I could just relax and be at least somewhat naive about the whole thing and believe in my heart that this pregnancy is going to stick for the next 9 months, but I'm having a really hard time with it. And I know the stress of being worried isn't good for the baby at all, so it's this horrible vicious cycle. I worry that baby won't be okay, that causes more stress, making it more likely that baby won't be okay, then I worry some more... How do I relax and just try to enjoy this and not feel paralyzed by the fear of a miscarriage?
I want to be a mommy more than anything in the world and after the road we took to get here (not as long and painful as others, but it wasn't particularly pleasant), I fear having to start all over again.
Art mystery possibly solved?
2 days ago
6 comments:
Whenever you feel nervous, just think of bicycles and toilet plungers. Since you've done nothing wrong with them, you know you're safe.
I think I've only commented once before, but I've been reading for a while, and from one Buckeye to another, I am just thrilled that your journey's brought you here!
Let me just say, I think you're totally within your bounds to feel the way you do. You've wanted this so much, and for so long, that it would be odd if you WEREN'T scared about something happening. I was scared, too. But it seemed like once I heard his heartbeat and saw his little face, all my fear just went away. Of course I had some worries along the way, and I had gestational hypertension which complicated things...but I think I just tried to consciously put the negativity out of my head. It's so hard, and this probably doesn't help. So, I guess, let everyone else be confident FOR you until you can be confident yourself! Tell you what: I'll think only good thoughts over here and be very excited for you, how's that? ;o)
I'm not talking from experience but I'm talking as a friend...
Take it day to day...
Breathe in and out...
Talk to the man upstairs, if you'd like...
Stay positive...
Try not to continually think about the negative...
And stay calm.
You've got to stay positive and strong. Things will happen that you won't have control over. You're going to have to loose a little bit of that control in order to enjoy or get over those things. I know that leaving some of that control behind is hard but you're going to have to try.
Stay strong and positive for you and your babies lives!
YEAH!!!!
I'll be thinking of you lots and lots. May the New Year bring you a beautiful healthy bundle of love!
So-I just finally started catching up with the nesties and wanted to say CONGRATS!!! You look great and so excited for you!!-Take it one day at a time and things will be great!!!!
You know, it's funny you posted this. For some unknown reason, I woke up this morning thinking about this very subject. And I haven't had a baby in 18 years so not sure WHY it was on my mind!
Honestly, I think there is just too much information out there. When I was pregnant, we didn't have a million books or studies on all the various things that could happen in pregnancy. I never gave miscarriage a thought, other than about 2 weeks after I found out I was pregnant and felt some weird cramping. I never gave cord accidents a thought. Never once, in all his moving, think "I hope he doesn't get wrapped up in the cord". I tried to cut down on caffeine but I didn't go wild with all the things they now say pregnant women shouldn't eat!
Women have been having babies for hundreds of years. They didn't have books, formula, folic acid, or studies on whether or not the baby should sleep on it's front, side or back. They just did the things they instinctively knew were right.
I don't mean to seem as though I'm making light of pregnancy, so I hope you don't take it that way. I never had a problem getting pregnant, and I certainly sympathize with all of you who have had a difficult time having a child. But remember that because of your fertility issues, you tend to spend a lot of time with other women enduring the same situation, and therefore unfortunately are surrounded by a lot of women who have had miscarriages, tragically.
When you think about that, try to give equal thought to the millions of women who have healthy pregnancies all the time. Try to make yourself stop with the negative thinking, and be as positive about it as you can...that YOU will be one of those women instead! I am sure you are scared...I would be too in your position...but remember that really, it's out of your control. So all you *can* control is your own personal thoughts and feelings, so send good positive vibes to that little bean, and in turn, keep your own stress level down. That's a win win for you both!!!
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