Sunday, June 14, 2009

How to stop the worrying?

I know the worrying starts now and doesn't end until you die, but man, this is getting a bit much. I find myself completely preoccupied with worry that baby won't turn on her own. No, it really shouldn't matter, but I am beginning to feel like I'm broken somehow because my baby is still breech. I know myself and know I will feel like a complete failure if I have to deliver her via C-section. Yes, it's easy to say that I shouldn't feel that way...but I do and can't really help it.

On Friday I found a list of 17 things to try to turn a breech baby. I've already tried 1, 4, 5, 7, 10, 11, and 12. I might try going swimming after work tomorrow. It seems ridiculous that I'm this preoccupied with this, but I am. I can't stop thinking about how each of my actions is impacting the direction baby is turned. Part of me thinks that the fact that I sit so much at work has given her less room to turn. My two closest coworkers also had breech babies.

I will be headed to the doctor on Tuesday and will ask her to try to figure out if she's turned at that point. I doubt she has since everyone says I'll know when she does, but I just can't determine which body part is which in there (when I can feel body parts at all). I just don't want to wait until it's too late. I'm hoping she'll whip out the u/s machine to take a quick peek in there.

I guess this is just the type of thing where I need to try to relax and let happen what will happen. I don't know that I can *really* do anything about her being breech at this point anyway. It still doesn't seem to happen. Remember WAY back last fall when I was trying to figure out how to relax and not allow TTC to take over my life? Now it's my breech baby taking over my thoughts.

7 comments:

Mandy said...

I'm sorry you're stressing over this so much. I know how you feel, but the opposite. I have no idea what direction Junior is, and I am scared to death of NOT having a C-section. I'm afraid of surgery, but I'm more afraid of pushing and ripping and tearing. I kind of want someone else to handle getting the baby out of me. I am frightened of doing that myself, even though it's what bodies are designed for.

tbonegrl said...

((HUG))

I am praying the baby flips for you!

Cassie said...

She still has a few weeks to flip, and I'm sure she will. You're right that the worry doesn't ever stop, though, from now until forever!

My son was born via (emergency) c-section after a long and hard labor, and before I had him I thought I'd feel the same way you did -- like a failure for not being able to have him "naturally." But then once I saw his little face, I promise you it didn't matter to me one bit how he arrived -- the fact that he was here, and healthy, and beautiful was all I could think about.

I'll be thinking about you and sending flippy thoughts Baby Girl's way!

tbonegrl said...

Tagged you in a meme!

Mrs. Hammer said...

You've got some time so we'll be praying that she flips over for you soon!

Danica said...

I'll keep you in my thoughts. My sister was breech, but that's all I know on the subject. HA

Colleen said...

HUGS! I know a lot of people that have hda breech babies and it all worked out. She's going to do what she wants unfortunately... no use getting all worked up over something you probably can't control. Hang in there my dear!