I know every mommy has had an "I'm done!" moment. I had a small one this morning. I'm not talking about the overwhelming feeling I get every once in awhile where I just feel like quitting and walking away altogether. I mean the in-the-moment I just want to quit for a few minutes feeling.
We had gotten up three times overnight with Baby Girl and none of those times was she really ready to go back to bed after she nursed, which meant all of us being more awake in the middle of the night than we're accustomed to.
And then she woke up for the day at 5:15 with a runny nose. Of the 17 times Baby Girl has slept through the night, all of the most recent ones were when she was sick, so this is pretty abnormal for when she's feeling bad.
She had a hard time nursing and I realized that she had torn up my left side pretty badly overnight, so the whole time she was popping on and off, trying to breathe, it hurt like hell. Then she decided she was done and wanted to play. And by play, I mean she was pulling my hair out, beating me with the remote, wanting to get into everything in the room...and all I wanted to do was sleep. My left nostril was completely stuffed up and I just wasn't ready to start the day. Then she scratched my right eye. It was unintentional, but it didn't matter in the moment. I said it. "I can't do this anymore. I quit." I rolled over and shed a few tears, but mostly I just wanted to try to go back to sleep for a little while longer. I just need a break, I thought.
And then this little body climbed up my back, leaned over my arm, those glimmering brown eyes looked into mine, and she said, "Hi!" I was a little shocked at first and then she said it again. "Hi!" I smiled. I said, "Hi, baby", and rolled back over and snuggled her until she squirmed and said she wanted down. I gave her a kiss on the cheek and obliged, thankful for my baby and my life again.
Dance of the Ladybugs
1 hour ago