Pumping....still

I think 95% of you will think "wow, she's a little crazy" when I tell you this. 

I'm still pumping at work.

Yep, Baby Girl is 17+ months old and I am still pumping once a day at work (down from 4 when I first came back to work after maternity leave).

The remaining 5% of you will probably be switched to the "she's crazy" side when I tell you this part. 

I have been getting just over one ounce per day.  ONE OUNCE.

I keep doing it because, somehow, I'm convinced this means I can still nurse Baby Girl on the weekends during the day.  And she still asks for it.  All.  Day.  Long.  The Hubby and I can't decide if she's bored, wants some bonding time, or if she actually wants milk (she'll say "Milk?", then if I tell her it isn't milk time, "Eat?"), but if she's asking for it, I want to give it to her because...I'm just like that.

I actually came here to post that I may be pumping for the last time at work.  I figured if I got less than an ounce today, it's not worth it anymore and that she really isn't getting much milk during the day from me anyway, so she'll probably be just as happy nursing and not getting anything.

But then I looked down and realized that I might get closer to two ounces.  And I completely rethought that. 

I feel neurotic for still doing this.  It feels silly to keeping pumping, especially since it doesn't matter much to me whether she's drinking the milk at the sitter's--it's ONLY about being able to nurse on the weekends.

So we'll see.  I'll see how much I actually get today, put it in the bag, and decide after the weekend what to do.  Just taking it one day at a time since I cry every time I think about being done with nursing.  I'll miss that time with my baby.  She's not a huge snuggler when she's not tired, so I'll miss the snuggly time we get together.  Ah...such an incredibly emotional thing, whether it's my body "failing" (obviously not a failure at 17+ months!), her leading the weaning, or my leading the weaning.