I thought by the time I was turning 27 I would have some to a little bit of acceptance about the cards I was dealt. Most specifically, I thought I'd be okay-ish with my body. Not so much.
I'm tired of having a body where if I have one bad day and eat more than I should, I hold onto that food for dear life. I'm tired of hearing my co-workers eat and eat and eat (and of course not knowing what they eat at home...) and knowing that I can *only* have a little bit. I've already had 10 points today. I really want to eat this piece of banana bread that a co-worker made. And I'm actually hungry. So I know I should eat, but I'm afraid that it will take me over my points (and I'm afraid I ate into my flex points last night!). *sigh*
I guess these are the trials of anyone who is working on losing weight, but I'm just tired of it. I still feel like my body is much less forgiving than most. But I also know I did it to myself. I stopped eating for too long and my metabolism is all effed up because of it. But damnit, it's been 10 years! Shouldn't my body be tired of carrying around this extra weight and just want to get rid of it?
We’re not going anywhere.
2 days ago
2 comments:
I'm right there with you, I constantly feel as though food is not a necessity as much as an obsession. However, I've come to accept that I can, and should, never stop thinking about everything that goes into my mouth - now, that doesn't mean that I beat myself up if I eat a piece of cake, but I'm also aware of what I'm eating now rather than thinking back on my day and realizing I ate 3 pieces of cake without even thinking about it.
You can do it!!! (on a side note: do you eat into your flex points each week? If not, I would recommend doing so. The extra points actually jump start your metabolism and can increase weight loss. Sounds nutty, I know, but it worked for my and my aunt!)
I can honestly say I never got to the point where I didn't realize what I ate. I just didn't care when I did it. But yeah, I think about everything that goes into my mouth....and it sucks. I'd like to be able to relax, especially with my birthday coming up!
I do typically eat most of my flex points. Problem is, I usually have an event lined up for the flex points. This week is my Wendy's taste test tonight where I think I'm getting fried chicken sandwiches. So I try not to get into them too much before when I know I'll need them!
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