Bingeing

I've been feeling pretty out of sorts recently, both at home and at work. As a result, I've been cramming everything I can get ahold of into my pie-hole. I was actually starting to see the scale creep down a little bit, but I doubt that will continue with the way I've been eating. I know it's stress eating. I KNOW I'm not actually hungry. So why do I want to go buy a cake mix and eat the entire cake?

I've always had food issues. I spent some time starving myself back in HS. When things get tough, there's this little voice inside of me that alternates between encouraging me to *not* eat or to eat everything in sight. Since I don't want to, God forbid, affect my BM supply...I lean toward eating everything I see.

I think that little voice is the result of a control issue. When life feels out of control to me, I just want to find something, anything, that I can control. For me, that's always been what food I put (or don't put) into my body.

So yeah, I'm confessing this here in the hopes that recognizing that it's a problem might be enough to get me to stop. Or at least slow down. But of course now it's lunch time :)