Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Bingeing

I've been feeling pretty out of sorts recently, both at home and at work. As a result, I've been cramming everything I can get ahold of into my pie-hole. I was actually starting to see the scale creep down a little bit, but I doubt that will continue with the way I've been eating. I know it's stress eating. I KNOW I'm not actually hungry. So why do I want to go buy a cake mix and eat the entire cake?

I've always had food issues. I spent some time starving myself back in HS. When things get tough, there's this little voice inside of me that alternates between encouraging me to *not* eat or to eat everything in sight. Since I don't want to, God forbid, affect my BM supply...I lean toward eating everything I see.

I think that little voice is the result of a control issue. When life feels out of control to me, I just want to find something, anything, that I can control. For me, that's always been what food I put (or don't put) into my body.

So yeah, I'm confessing this here in the hopes that recognizing that it's a problem might be enough to get me to stop. Or at least slow down. But of course now it's lunch time :)

1 comment:

Danica said...

Hugs

I find now that I am off for surgery that I am doing the very same thing. I'm bored, I'm sad, I'm tired, I'm lonely...food is my friend.

Damn cake mix...I have one in my house now and want to bake it!!! Badly!