Apparently my mind is making progress. I was starting to think I'd be in this rut forever.
As far as TTC is concerned, I had quite the breakthrough last week. I think I've finally realized that I CANNOT control everything. Really. No, REALLY. Yes, there are things that I can do to improve our chances, but if that sperm doesn't meet the egg, there's no way we can conceive. And I CAN'T control whether that happens.
My trying to control everything and give us the best shot possible to conceive has begun to become a drain on my sanity. And I can't allow that to happen any longer. So I'm not. Yes, I'll still chart and use the CBEFM, but if I forget to take a supplement, I'm not going to beat myself up. And if I want to do strenuous exercise during the 2ww, I will. I can't keep avoiding exercise and alcohol and ibuprofen and still live my life. I will continue to take my vitamins and the supplements to aid my CM production. If I take the B6, great, but if not, it will be okay.
So I'm happy about where my mind is at with that. For now. I realize I've had this revelation before...but I keep trying to return to it and I think I've found a good place now. Heck, I'm 6 DPO and haven't really thought about it much at all.
Yesterday was also a breakthrough for my weight loss. I went to JCPenney b/c they were having a great sale and I had a coupon (and you all know how much I love a deal!). There was a sweater I had seen previously that I wanted to get and I discovered a lot of clearance deals as well. I gathered about 15 items and made my way to the dressing room. I tried on quite a bit of things...but almost everything was too big! Woohoo! I was horribly nervous to shop in the Misses section, but apparently I didn't need to be. I'm officially in 14s, even in pants! Woohoo! So I got two pairs of dress pants, a button-up dress shirt, and the sweater for $40.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that, before yesterday, I apparently thought I was a bit bigger than I am. And I'm finally realizing that this really is happening--I really am getting smaller. I still feel like a cow next to these silly college students prancing around, but find that some things are SO much easier now, including finding clothes :) I still visited the Women's section, but couldn't find anything to wear. 1X shirts are way too big and even regular XL are getting to be too big. Wow. I don't remember the last time I wore a Large or a 14. Heck, I even tried on a pair of jeans in 12 and they were darn close to fitting! They buttoned, but the thighs were a bit tight.
I'm in a good place right now :)
12 comments:
You are doing great!!! You're my hero!
This was the best post I've read from you. I'm so happy you're getting to the point where you can still live your life while on the ttc journey. And I'm thrilled that you are able to be in a solid 14. WHOO HOO!! Take that women's department!
I loved this post. Life is too short to get caught up on things you can't control. You are doing a great job doing what you're doing!!! Live life, you only get one! :)
Yah for the weightloss. You look fabulous! See, shopping can be fun and rewarding can't it! You should be so proud!
I second all the comments!!! It does take a few 'revelations' before it sticks but you are headed in the right direction. And speaking of directions i.e. the scale going down, congrats on the shopping revelation too!
Yea I am so glad you are in a good place! Great post!!
What a great post! It was so inspiring and hopeful! Ahhhhh, a solid 14 ROCKS! Congrats to you and keep up the good work!
Ditto the other girls - loved this post! You sound like you're in a good place - and definitely less stressed and almost peaceful :) That's WAY more healthy, girlie! :)
And ROCK ON with your bad self!! 14's!!! WOOO!! Good job!
Ditto again! This is a terrific post. You deserve to be in a good place!
And I am not at all surprised that you are in 14s, and close to 12s! You are tiny, and I mean that! You look amazing.
I feel so good after reading this post. You are right we cannot control everything. I'm very proud of you and your weight loss. You look fantastic! Keep up the good work.
Awesome! Good for you!
{{{{hugs}}}}}
Oh, those were very happy hugs!
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