It seems so silly. I should be happy all the time, enjoying life, enjoying this time. I've waited for this for a very long time. But I'm having a really hard time being happy. I'm, of course, ecstatic about the pregnancy and everything that goes along with it, so don't misunderstand me there. It's just everything else. Work has really gotten me down recently and it's hanging over into the rest of my life. I find that I don't enjoy my evenings and weekends nearly as much as I would like to because I'm still carrying around stress from my days at work. I used to be able to refresh from a painful week during the weekend, but now it just feels like the weekend is just leading up to another awful week. I start to dread Monday by Sunday morning.
I still love what I do, but am having a hard time with some of the other aspects of the job. I love to support the staff members that use our new system, but it's getting harder and harder listening to everyone complain about the things that I do that are meant to help. I also seem to be everyone's sounding board about how bad the system is, which isn't much fun. I have a hard time leaving all of that at work, too, even though I know I should.
All the stress is then carrying over to my life with DH. I feel like we aren't getting "quality" time together a lot of the time, but I'm at a loss on what to do about it. We spend a lot of time together, but I want to make that "quality" time, even if it means just snuggling and watching TV. Of course, whenever we snuggle, I tend to fall asleep...which doesn't lead to great quality time. lol We both love being lazy, not showering, and just laying around the house, so going out to eat together becomes a chore, rather than something fun for us to do together. I think once the weather gets better we'll start taking walks together and doing more outdoor things (as my body allows...), but for now, I just feel so sad a lot of the time that I'm not much fun to be around. And, of course, like a man, he just wants to find a way to fix it, rather than just listen.
I love my life and think things could be a lot better if I could just find a way to not let work get me down so much. The morale around here is pretty awful and I have no idea how to suggest we make it better. If you aren't in a management role, but see how awful morale is, what would you do?
1 comment:
Oh girl, I have so, so been there. The emotions with pregnancy are just crazy. I seem to go days on a fairly even keel and then experience extreme unreasonable anger, sadness and grumpiness all within 20 minutes of each other.
So if it can be like that when everything is conceivably fine, it makes perfect sense that it can be extra hard when work is getting you down. It's the worst when you can't leave those feelings at work.
Our morale is pretty crappy too, but I somehow just don't think about it because it's never really been any better. It's very individualized work I do and so I could go the whole day without talking to another person if I wanted.
OK, I'm not making any sense and I don't have any answers. ((hugs)) and I hope it gets better soon.
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