Mini Breakdown

Looking back, it seems really selfish and, well, that's what it was. Last night I had a mini breakdown to DH about being pregnant. Yes, I'm only 14 weeks. Yes, I've had a dream pregnancy to this point. Yes, I wanted this so bad it hurt! But I'm already tired of it. Not tired of it forever...I just want a break.

I just want one day to feel like myself, to not have mucus in my ears, giving me headaches and making me constantly dizzy. To not have a consistent headache everywhere. To not feel my pulse in every part of my body (seriously). To not just feel overly fat. To not fall asleep every single night by 9 p.m. (or at least want to...). To not forget every thing that happened the previous day. To be normal for one day.

As I write it, I know I shouldn't feel this way. But, regrettably, I do. I know it will get worse. I know by the time I hit 9 months I'm REALLY going to want a break. But right now, in this moment, I'd love one day, even just a few hours, of feeling "normal". To have some ham salad. To have a glass of wine. To not worry about falling on the ice and hurting my baby. To be able to think about something other than this little life inside of me!!!

(Yes, baby, I love you. Yes, I'm over-the-moon that I'm having a baby. Yes, I can't wait to meet you. Yes, I do this x100 to be able to have a baby.)