Wednesday, September 1, 2010

My Head is Spinning

Am I alone?  I feel like I can't be the only person in this world who can't concentrate.  Ever. 

I feel like I constantly have a running commentary going in my head--while I'm working, driving, playing with Baby Girl, watching TV, surfing the web...and my head is spinning from it.  There's always a new thing to add to the to-do list.  I actually started one so I could empty my brain once I write it down, but there are always new things.  Just right now there are over 20 things on my list.  Some small (get a flu shot) but some bigger (finish thank you notes from Baby Girl's birthday....which I STILL haven't done).  I find my mind drifting when I should be concentrating on important things and I don't know how to stop it.  The Hubby and I have always chalked it up to having an overactive brain, but now I'm wondering if I've got some adult ADD or something like that.  I'm lucky that I'm good enough at my job that I still get enough done so no one notices how scattered I am, but someday it's going to catch up with me. 

I'm sure part of it is that I still feel like I have to take on all the responsibilities of our entire household.  If I don't remember all these things, they'll never get done.  I left the responsibility of Baby Girl's one year doctor appointment to the husband and we went over 2 weeks late.  The end of the world?  No, but when you're a perfectionist, it's too late!  I've talked to The Hubby.  I've talked to other friends.  It seems like we women are always the ones responsible for the household things.  It's driving me insane, though--the perfectionist in me needs to make sure it all gets done in a timely manner and if I'm running late (like forgetting to drop a check in the mail before we left for vacation), I beat myself up over it.  The Hubby, though?  Doesn't even notice.  Allison will take care of it.  And I will.  But I might not get any work done in the meantime.

Oh, and while I was writing this blog post in my brain (I was where I get all my profound thinking done--in the bathroom), I realized my underwear is inside out.  And I've peed 4 times today and this is the first time I've noticed.  See how scattered I am???


Manday said...

Have you ever talked to your Dr about anxiety? Racing thoughts, worrying about things needing to get done, being preoccupied with certain areas of concern...

My friend who has anxiety carries a book with her ALWAYS (like a small journal), she calls it her fidget object and she is always taking it out and jotting things down to remember to do later. she says if she doesn't then she just dwells on it and can't focus on the task at hand.

Cassie said...

I'm like that, too, to a certain extent. I always make lists too, because it gives me a dorky little thrill whenever I can cross something off! :)

I'm sorry it stresses you out so much, though. I wish we women had more help sometimes!

Sarah Dee said...

R. kept a notebook for awhile to help w/ anxiety. I think he put positive thoughts in it too.

Gretchen is/was taking meds for adult adhd, and she has noticed a difference. Her report was that she notices that she gets more done during the day, not that she feels any differently.

Em said...

I agree with Manday - if it's causing a continuing & overwhelming issue, it might help to talk to your dr. or maybe a counselor about it. One of my friends who deals with high anxiety and perfectionism found it helpful to meet with a counselor (who is also a mom, which really helps) for a while, and occasionally checks in with her again for a few sessions whenever things really start getting frustrating and overwhelming.

I may have mentioned this before on here or the Nesties board, but I like the book I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids: Reinventing Modern Motherhood by Trisha Ashworth & Amy Nobile. It talks a lot about the supermom/woman expectations a lot of us have for ourselves and how they can negatively affect our lives & those of our family & friends, and some common-sense ideas on coping. Not a sub for talking to a trained pro, but wonderful for knowing you're not alone. Also good because you can read it in small chunks without feeling you need to find time to sit down and read a huge section.