I have power. I can bring down the tone of a conversation with a single sentence; stop everyone from talking with one word...I am...Debbie Downer. :(
I just feel like I can't be positive. I've tried and tried, but I am having a really hard time not dwelling on the crap-tastic things we've been dealt recently. I don't want to be the one to drag everyone else down--and thoughts like that make me feel like completely retreating. Better to just not show up than show up and be a total downer. Ugh.
I know people have seen me recently and I've been fine. And a lot of the time recently I have been feeling fine. But these last couple of days have really gotten to me. I feel very little hope that things will work out in the near-ish future. I feel pretty sure that we have a long, hard road ahead of us. And I hate it. I would much rather be a positive, upbeat person...but today, in this moment, I can't drag myself out of this rut I've sunken into. Heck, I wonder if I should even bother posting this because I don't want to drag anyone else down, too. But I will, just because getting these feelings and thoughts out of my system have to help in some miniscule way.
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3 comments:
You're allowed! You can say whatever you feel...this is YOUR blog. We just read to give you support :) And if someone is upset by you being down, then they can go blow goats. :) Please don't stop posting when you feel this way. I think you're helping out other women realizing that their feelings are valid and they aren't alone in the rollercoaster of emotions.
I wish I could wave my magic wand for you. All the ladies who have t-ttc break my heart each time I hear of a period coming.
Does this mean that you started spotting today?
Actually, as of last bathroom trip, I hadn't. But we'll see--as you can tell, I don't have a lot of hope of staying that way! It was mostly in response to not getting my progesterone b/w results and just doubting they're okay...
((HUGS)) from Arizona!! I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you.
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